Phoe Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 You're not average tho. You're a good tier above Becky. I'm calling her Becky. She looks like a Becky. I figure it's a matter of perspective, but logically speaking I'm pretty average. Fairly normal run of the mill kind of person. Normal looking, decently smart but work a mediocre job. Like most, I try to be a good person but sometimes I suck lol. I don't do anything particularly special. I put my pants on one leg at a time just like anybody else lol. It's 5 PM on a Saturday and I'm in my pajamas with a cat on my lap. Pretty ordinary, yeah? None of this inherently would put me in a tier above any other person. And lol, Why Becky? Don't you know her name? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 haha I actually respond to every REAL response whether I'm attracted to them or not. As for attractive, etc., I actually like big ole country boys so not the "traditional" attractive guys. I'm way more apt to be attracted to a guy that's tipping the scale by 30lbs+ overweight as opposed to the cut muscle heads with bathroom selfies. Big, burly white dudes? That's not a chopped liver demographic though. They can get a lot of women. So, it's still keeping it in league. If you said 'you didn't have a type' then that'd be a little different. I do come across some women who put that in their profile, though rarely, and I'll tend to message them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bentleychic Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Big, burly white dudes? That's not a chopped liver demographic though. They can get a lot of women. So, it's still keeping it in league. If you said 'you didn't have a type' then that'd be a little different. I do come across some women who put that in their profile, though rarely, and I'll tend to message them. lol Yes, I guess so. I definitely do have a "type" (and it's more specific than I posted honestly), BUT I've been open and willing to give other types a try. I actually don't tell my type in my profile b/c I am open. Attractive is attractive regardless if it falls under my "normal type". I've never been attracted to what "normal" girls consider hot, though. lol None of them have made it to the point of an actual date, though, yet. I have went out with 2 different guys from OKC. One I dated for 3 months and we're now friends. We ultimately just didn't click. The other we talked for MONTHS, went out once and again no click. I'd intended to remain friends, but that didn't work out. lol 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 None of this inherently would put me in a tier above any other person. Looks is kind of the deciding factor in dating, so it does put you above. I do see women on Match who are as good looking as you and better, but I haven't messaged any of them. Yet. I mean, it's subjective, a bit, kinda, but really not. Race can be more subjective. A lot of people either like an entire race or no way. BTW, on Match, it's kind of funny. They have robot profiles who wink at you for whatever reason I don't know. The first time I got a wink, it was from a very cute girl, and I was like, "That can't be real." And it ended up to not be real. It's happened a few times and the profiles keep getting deleted. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Looks is kind of the deciding factor in dating, so it does put you above. I do see women on Match who are as good looking as you and better, but I haven't messaged any of them. Yet. I mean, it's subjective, a bit, kinda, but really not. Race can be more subjective. A lot of people either like an entire race or no way. BTW, on Match, it's kind of funny. They have robot profiles who wink at you for whatever reason I don't know. The first time I got a wink, it was from a very cute girl, and I was like, "That can't be real." And it ended up to not be real. It's happened a few times and the profiles keep getting deleted. Even looks wise I'm normal lol. Of course that's subjective and occasionally there's a man who finds the way I look to be particularly special. A lid for every pot they say. But on a mass scale, I'm average, no particularly different from the majority of women in my age range. I feel like an average and normal person, get treated like an average and normal person, it would seem that means I am a normal and average person! My experience on OLD, accordingly, was quite normal and average! What you mention about the "can't be real" bit, does stick out to me though. I did send my own fair share of messages, but only one responded. Perhaps they thought I was a spam bot. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 The Internet changes everything. With OLD, pics are pretty much the only thing that matters. If you message a woman, she will take one look at your thumbnail and decide whether or not she wants to talk to you. Real life doesn't work this way. I talk to women every day that would ignore my messages online. In the real world, you have a chance to show people that you are more than just a collection of thumbnails. Once you have that chance, it's up to you to make the best of it. Online, you might never get that chance. Not for me. The thumbnail wasn't relevant, other than showing me that I was talking to a real person who appeared to be a normal human being lol. I was much more interested in looking at the profile. Especially the area regarding drug use and smoking. If a guy appeared to be a big party animal, it would be a turn off. I would mostly look to see if he had similar interests to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 Even looks wise I'm normal lol. Of course that's subjective and occasionally there's a man who finds the way I look to be particularly special. A lid for every pot they say. But on a mass scale, I'm average, no particularly different from the majority of women in my age range. I feel like an average and normal person, get treated like an average and normal person, it would seem that means I am a normal and average person! My experience on OLD, accordingly, was quite normal and average! What you mention about the "can't be real" bit, does stick out to me though. I did send my own fair share of messages, but only one responded. Perhaps they thought I was a spam bot. Yea. Upper end of average. I mean, you're white, fit, and you have a cute face. That's upper end of average. Anyway, I don't want to get too into leagues again. The bots you can tell. I'd get a wink from like a hot blonde who lives in Minnesota, and I'm nowhere near there. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 The Internet changes everything. With OLD, pics are pretty much the only thing that matters. If you message a woman, she will take one look at your thumbnail and decide whether or not she wants to talk to you. Real life doesn't work this way. I talk to women every day that would ignore my messages online. In the real world, you have a chance to show people that you are more than just a collection of thumbnails. Once you have that chance, it's up to you to make the best of it. Online, you might never get that chance. And the thing about a thumbnail, is that it really doesn't tell me much. I cannot be with a man who doesn't take care of himself. A thumbnail won't tell me if he sucks at showering, if he never clips his toenails, if he doesn't brush his teeth. Sure, at the far end of the spectrum, if a thumbnail shows me that he's missing all his teeth, there you go. But otherwise, it's not gonna tell me much about whether he takes care of himself. ESPECIALLY when in OLD, people are intentionally putting up pictures that show the best version of themselves. That goes for men and women. That person might have bad hygiene and doesn't really take good care of themselves most days, but on a special occasion they put the effort in a took a good picture. That's why a picture doesn't really offer much... you have to interact with someone face to face to gauge those things mentioned above. And I'm not gonna wanna interact with and date someone who's an awful match for me, so clearly the profile is the way to go, it ought to be the #1 factor in deciding. It will help indicate whether someone is a good prospect to talk to in the first place. Isn't that the logical way to do it? Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I actually agree with you Phoe. I come from the old school of OLD though. I used to frequently meet women who didn't even post a pic online. Back in the day that wasn't such a big deal. Most ladies I know are so good at taking pics that I don't trust anything I see online anymore. I want to see what they really look like, how they act, ect. But then, I value certain other qualities more than I do looks. I was fooled by trick photography 4 times. Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) Most ladies I know are so good at taking pics that I don't trust anything I see online anymore. I don't know, not all the ladies' pictures on OLD are really that great. There were A LOT of bad selfies on there... grainy pics, low contrast pics, nondescript composition, and so on. When I participated, I'd generally message them anyway if their profile sounded interesting and we sounded somewhat compatible. I'm going to go out on a limb and say MOST people (male or female) aren't really anywhere near the pro-photographer end of the spectrum. On the other hand, I had some fairly decent pics. Had an okay Kodak camera, a tripod, knew how to use the lighting pretty well, had some action shots of me playing live taken by others... and I got jack attention because of it. Everyone will tell you photos are the end-all to garnering any success on OLD, but I'm not so sure. Edited May 31, 2015 by impatiently_patient Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 On the other hand, I had some fairly decent pics. Had an okay Kodak camera, a tripod, knew how to use the lighting pretty well, had some action shots of me playing live... and I got jack attention because of it. Everyone will tell you photos are the end-all to garnering any success on OLD, but I'm not so sure. Heck, I don't even own a camera. I use my derptastic phone. I don't think most people understand anything about composition when it comes to photography. The only necessary thing, IMO, is to just get a clear shot. No wonky angles, no blurriness, not so dark you can't see. A clear shot that shows who you are. Fairly simple. I truly don't think most people are looking for anything more than that. Heck, when I did OLD I only even bothered to put up one photo. A simple headshot. No point in overcomplicating anything. Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Heck, I don't even own a camera. I use my derptastic phone. I don't think most people understand anything about composition when it comes to photography. The only necessary thing, IMO, is to just get a clear shot. No wonky angles, no blurriness, not so dark you can't see. A clear shot that shows who you are. Fairly simple. I truly don't think most people are looking for anything more than that. Heck, when I did OLD I only even bothered to put up one photo. A simple headshot. No point in overcomplicating anything. I suspect that you are correct, Phoe, but like on my profile advice thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/transitioning/search/528822-getting-back-old-horse-wouldn-t-mind-some-profile-guidance, nine-times-out-of-ten, you get it pounded in your head that pics, pics, pics are paramount to getting any attention. I dunno... Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Why do you think they picked all of those grainy, low contrast, bad pics? My guess is they don't want you to see them all that well. Almost every girl I know is really good at taking selfies. My GF uses filters on her phone camera that make her ten years younger, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. Not to mention all the people that keep old pics online before they gained a ton of weight. I'm not that pessimistic, I guess. Meet them for coffee... it they're not your bag, move on. No harm, no foul. ¯\(°_o)/¯ Maybe they'll be better than the crappy pic. Who knows. Photos pretty much cover it all. However, if women don't like your look, taking a really good pic is not going to fix that. That has NOTHING TO DO with pics/photography... and everything to do with you not being you. In either case, you're seeking women who do like your look, not the ones who don't... that's the point. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 It just doesn't seem ethical to me.. Stealing some photos of a real person and putting them on a dating site so you can do a lame experiment that tells you bugger all anyway. How would you feel if someone did that to you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) It just doesn't seem ethical to me.. Stealing some photos of a real person and putting them on a dating site so you can do a lame experiment that tells you bugger all anyway. How would you feel if someone did that to you? Explain exactly how it hurts her? As she lives clear across the country, on the <1% chance that she sees the profile or a friend alerts her to it, she's not seeing who is emailing her or their messages. And I'll NEVER leak her pics or profile here. (See Fat Girl POF profile.) It's just her pics (the same ones she made public on Facebook as I don't know her) and a generic, positive profile. How would you react if someone put your pics with a positive fake profile on POF and you couldn't see what anybody was saying about you? You'd throw a fit? Uh, why exactly would you do that? Oh, and one more thing. On the <0.001% chance that she 1) sees the profile, and 2) makes her way to this thread and 3) figures out that it is her amongst the thousands of fake profiles on POF that is being discussed here, I'll just say that she has gotten some flattering responses and has already been called beautiful and hot. Edited May 31, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I'm sure they will survive if they send a message to a fake profile. It's much better than the people who use misleading pics on their profile, or lie about important details in order to get you to meet them. Having a fake profile just to see how things work harms no one except the people who don't want others to see how OLD really works. Ummm i was kinda thinking of the woman who has had her photos posted on an online dating site without her permission. But yeah, also you are wasting time of the men who have sent messages to you. A lot of men like you are doing this as experiments, creating more angst for the whiney men who are struggling to get replies. you're just wasting your time and others, and doing the wrong thing. Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Explain exactly how it hurts her? As she lives clear across the country, on the <1% chance that she sees the profile or a friend alerts her to it, she's not seeing who is emailing her or their messages. And I'll NEVER leak her pics or profile here. (See Fat Girl POF profile.) It's just her pics (the same ones she made public on Facebook as I don't know her) and a generic, positive profile. How would you react if someone put your pics with a positive fake profile on POF and you couldn't see what anybody was saying about you? You'd throw a fit? Uh, why exactly would you do that? Oh, and one more thing. On the <0.001% chance that she 1) sees the profile, and 2) makes her way to this thread and 3) figures out that it is her amongst the thousands of fake profiles on POF that is being discussed here, I'll just say that she has gotten some flattering responses and has already been called beautiful and hot. You think its ok to murder, rape, rob a bank, as long as you dont get caught. Link to post Share on other sites
impatiently_patient Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 If you are butt ugly that shows up in your pics. Saying your pics are what matters the most takes that into account. I disagree wholeheartedly. Telling someone to simply get good pics without any ascertation of their visage as about as non-advice as it gets. Like I said, there's a chasm of space between the statements "Take good pictures." and "Be somebody else." Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 You think its ok to murder, rape, rob a bank, as long as you dont get caught. Oh, and one MORE thing. I'll tell you exactly what I would do if I found someone posted my pics in a POF profile in Omaha, Nebraska and saying I was an alcoholic without a car, who made 15K a year and was looking for sex only with hot blonde, rich women. I'd laugh my a@@ off. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) Ummm i was kinda thinking of the woman who has had her photos posted on an online dating site without her permission. But yeah, also you are wasting time of the men who have sent messages to you. A lot of men like you are doing this as experiments, creating more angst for the whiney men who are struggling to get replies. you're just wasting your time and others, and doing the wrong thing. Oh and one MORE thing. Coming with the 'you whiny losers' spiel AGAIN. If you had actually bothered to read the thread, you would see that I actually have been stating that women get less attention than men might think, especially in the form of legit messages. And you also conveniently forgot when you had a tough time getting dumped the other week in a thread by your friend and this particular whiny loser told you to 'hang in there'. Edited May 31, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 If they really are ugly, it probably won't help much Right...that's what JSS probably means by "take good photos" as non-advice. You can't make an already ugly person more attractive by taking better photos of them. It will only serve to draw MORE attention to their unattractiveness. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JuneJulySeptember Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) Right...that's what JSS probably means by "take good photos" as non-advice. You can't make an already ugly person more attractive by taking better photos of them. It will only serve to draw MORE attention to their unattractiveness. You know what's funny about that. I knew a Japanese girl a looooooong time ago who was doing OLD when it was in it's relative infancy. I'm talking about probably 2002. At that time, I was not interested at all in doing it. I remember her saying that she would go on dates and be upset because the guys looked way worse in person. She said, and I quote "They put their absolute best pictures in the world up there and then when you meet them, they look nothing like that." I remember thinking I thought she was a bit shallow for thinking like that, but that was before I realized most people do generally think like that. Edited May 31, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 The Internet changes everything. With OLD, pics are pretty much the only thing that matters. If you message a woman, she will take one look at your thumbnail and decide whether or not she wants to talk to you. Real life doesn't work this way. I talk to women every day that would ignore my messages online. In the real world, you have a chance to show people that you are more than just a collection of thumbnails. Once you have that chance, it's up to you to make the best of it. Online, you might never get that chance. I agree with you here and not having used online dating myself I can't completely understand what it's like but I'd imagine the guys who fail with women in the real world will also fail online. Internet or not, unwanted guys are unwanted. Link to post Share on other sites
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 They probably put their roomate's or friend's picture up in place of theirs. lol But, that's why I chuckle at this so called, "put up better pictures" advice for an ugly person...that's like spraying a turd with pine air freshener. lol You know what's funny about that. I knew a Japanese girl a looooooong time ago who was doing OLD when it was in it's relative infancy. I'm talking about probably 2002. At that time, I was not interested at all in doing it. I remember her saying that she would go on dates and be upset because the guys looked way worse in person. She said, and I quote "They put their absolute best pictures in the world up there and then when you meet them, they look nothing like that." I remember thinking I thought she was a bit shallow for thinking like that, but that was before I realized most people do generally think like that. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 They probably put their roomate's or friend's picture up in place of theirs. lol But, that's why I chuckle at this so called, "put up better pictures" advice for an ugly person...that's like spraying a turd with pine air freshener. lol NO. A pic is not going to make you look 20 if you are 50, true, but a pic taken well and at the right angle can flatter a person and hide their bad points. The best looking person can look awful in a series of badly taken pics, so pics are very important. If a person is not getting good results then a critical review of their pics is not an unreasonable thing to do, surely? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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