courtneykay Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 I am kind of feeling infuriated at the moment. My bf is about to move across the country for a job. The plan is that I would join him in a year after I finish school. We have talked about marriage, our lives together, etc. I have been feeling confident we would make this work until just recently. We have had arguments in the past about the way he talks about me to his friends. It's never "bad" per say. Just very laid back and acting like he doesn't care about me at all. It really makes me mad. It's like he's embarrassed to act like he is in a committed relationship around his friends. I recently saw a post made in a private Facebook group with him and his friends. Yeah I know, sneaky, sneaky. But neither of us really cares about the other lurking our facebooks, texts, etc. I haven't done this in probably half a year. He made a post informing his friends about his new job. Great right? Until I read some of the responses. One friend asked: what about the gf? He responds saying: I'm gonna do it till its done that all I know And 2 people liked his comment. What does this even mean? Am I being crazy or is his response not okay? He's acting so lacksadasixal about it when to my face he swears we will be together forever. I feel like crying and also getting extremely pissed off. Any interpretations about what this is supposed to mean? Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Yikes! I'm not sure how anyone can decipher that as being anything but a douche bag response. It would appear this guy has another agenda up his sleeve. He probably isn't even really sure what it is YET but it doesn't sound positive regardless. Has anything changed in your relationship since you found out he was moving away? I find it hard to believe he turned a 180 over night. There has to have been something else going on for him to begin distancing himself and acting so disrespectful. If he's being this wishy washy about you and your relationship, putting thousands of miles between you will not help matters. If you ask me, this feels the like the beginning of a slow fade. What better way to end a relationship than using the excuse of distance? I'm so sorry OP. You have some hard decisions to make here and none of them are going to be easy. *Hugs* Link to post Share on other sites
Author courtneykay Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 Update: I just confronted him about it. Cue the argument turning on me for invading his privacy. I get it. I shouldn't snoop. But I did. I can't undo it. He says there's nothing wrong with what he said. That he meant it as in he sees a future with me and wants to spend our lives together. Why would that be so hard to say to his friends instead of some rude, half-assed response? He told me he wouldn't apologize for what he said because there's nothing wrong with it, but he would apologize for me being upset. I told him to go upstairs because I needed some alone time to think about what he said to me. I truly see my future with this guy, I want to marry him. But right now it feels like our relationship is crashing down around us and he doesn't get that. He can't understand why I'm upset or what is wrong with the way he phrased that. His defense was if he didn't think we would last he could have responded to his friends saying "I don't know" or "we'll see." Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Ouch. His response indicates to me that he's not serious about this relationship anymore. If he were, he wouldn't have responded like that. Plain and simple. I think you need to have a serious, non-confrontational discussion about this. I don't believe you're on the same page any longer, and you deserve to know if he's already got a foot out the door. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Tread carefully OP. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) Update: I just confronted him about it. Cue the argument turning on me for invading his privacy. I get it. I shouldn't snoop. But I did. I can't undo it. He says there's nothing wrong with what he said. That he meant it as in he sees a future with me and wants to spend our lives together. Why would that be so hard to say to his friends instead of some rude, half-assed response? He told me he wouldn't apologize for what he said because there's nothing wrong with it, but he would apologize for me being upset. I told him to go upstairs because I needed some alone time to think about what he said to me. I truly see my future with this guy, I want to marry him. But right now it feels like our relationship is crashing down around us and he doesn't get that. He can't understand why I'm upset or what is wrong with the way he phrased that. His defense was if he didn't think we would last he could have responded to his friends saying "I don't know" or "we'll see." I didn't get that from his response at all. You both need some time to cool down and have a much more honest, open conversation. This is the same boyfriend who's going to be living with another girl, despite your discomfort, no? I think you're feeling really insecure about the future of this relationship (and I don't totally blame you, honestly) and his actions as of late are only adding to that. Being so far from each other is going to be quite difficult,I fear. Edited May 28, 2015 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
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