JackJackxD Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) Long story short, I was dumped 9 months ago out of a 2.5 years relationship by my Ex-GF. We tried to be friends for the first 3 months, but it didn't work out because I still had feelings for her. I asked for a final chance, but was rejected. Then I started no contact, which has been around 6 months now. During the first few weeks of these months it was a really hard time, but I got used to not having her in my life. I started thinking of her less and less, and eventually got on with life. I've improved myself in various ways, and addressed my issues and mistakes during the relationship. I invested a lot more time than I usually would on my studies, which worked wonders in stopping me thinking about her. I am near the end of my second academic year in University now, with only 2 more exams to go. Suddenly, I start thinking about her more and more. I miss her so much, and I can't concentrate on my revision. I made a promise to myself, that I would not contact her until at least I finish off my studies since that is my priority now. Now I contemplate contacting her after the exams, and started thinking of all the possible reactions from her. I am not asking for whether I should contact her, because that is an issue that I don't want to have to deal with right now. It just messes up my head even more. I want to know, whether this is a healthy and normal thing for a person in NC to experience. I mean, if I miss her so badly now, does that mean that my 6 months of going NC to move on was wasted? Also, how can I get her out of my mind now since I need my brain to soak up the entire syllabus rather than drifting off to dreamland where me and her are happily back together. Edited May 28, 2015 by JackJackxD Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted May 28, 2015 Share Posted May 28, 2015 Long story short, I was dumped 9 months ago out of a 2.5 years relationship by my Ex-GF. We tried to be friends for the first 3 months, but it didn't work out because I still had feelings for her. I asked for a final chance, but was rejected. Then I started no contact, which has been around 6 months now. During the first few weeks of these months it was a really hard time, but I got used to not having her in my life. I started thinking of her less and less, and eventually got on with life. I've improved myself in various ways, and addressed my issues and mistakes during the relationship. I invested a lot more time than I usually would on my studies, which worked wonders in stopping me thinking about her. I am near the end of my second academic year in University now, with only 2 more exams to go. Suddenly, I start thinking about her more and more. I miss her so much, and I can't concentrate on my revision. I made a promise to myself, that I would not contact her until at least I finish off my studies since that is my priority now. Now I contemplate contacting her after the exams, and started thinking of all the possible reactions from her. I am not asking for whether I should contact her, because that is an issue that I don't want to have to deal with right now. It just messes up my head even more. I want to know, whether this is a healthy and normal thing for a person in NC to experience. I mean, if I miss her so badly now, does that mean that my 6 months of going NC to move on was wasted? Also, how can I get her out of my mind now since I need my brain to soak up the entire syllabus rather than drifting off to dreamland where me and her are happily back together. It is normal to have relapses. I had panic attacks for 11 months or so. Felt unbearable pain in my chest, couldn't function at all. That makes my achievements like college, job, car etc even worthier. Hovewer, touching the stove while you know it is hawt is not normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JackJackxD Posted May 28, 2015 Author Share Posted May 28, 2015 It is normal to have relapses. I had panic attacks for 11 months or so. Felt unbearable pain in my chest, couldn't function at all. That makes my achievements like college, job, car etc even worthier. Hovewer, touching the stove while you know it is hawt is not normal. It is nothing like panic attacks or feeling pain. It is nothing like when we first broke up, or during the 3 months of us pretending to be friends. Those were times filed with insecurity, jealousy and depression. For some strange reason, currently I keep feeling that me and her will get back together and it will be a happy ending after the exams. That scares me because I have no reason to think like that. God, I don't even know how she has been recently seeing that we haven't talked for 6 months! The more I think about how happy we would be after I contact her, the more I start doubting myself by thinking about "reality" where she would either ignore me or talk to me like a friend. This thinking pattern has been going on for 2 days now and it is driving me crazy. Link to post Share on other sites
HowMightI-live Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 WOW. Im in the same exact position as you. Its been about 8 months since the split and everything was going pretty good; coping well, making friends, school etc.. And then BAM, slapped with an amount of grief i could only describe as something similiar to the day she broke up with me. I still have no idea what triggered it and why i seem to be thinking about her more then usual but im taking it a day at a time; as should you. This is just apart of the grieving process and until youre over her, youre not over her; so expect shiit like this to come up. Highs and the lows. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
brokengirl85 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 you think about her and the happy ending because you'd like to have her again in your life, sharing with you this special moments. that is not reality. she is not interested in having a relationship with you, you were clear when you said the first three months you tried to be friends yet you had to go no contact because you still had feelings for her. She did not have feelings for you. you can contact her, test the waters again if you really need to. I don't think it's a good idea. Chances are, she will reject you again. You thinking about that happy ending is your imagination and your desires. Nothing related with reality. You better have a reality check there. Finish your studies and start dating again. Six months is a considerable amount of time. Try to find someone that loves you. Not your ex, who dumped you. Best of luck Link to post Share on other sites
Justm3x Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It normal to feel like this.... im almost 15 months on since my breakup and im still having wobbles now and again. I'll go from feeling good and not thinking about him to all of a sudden i get a panic a feeling of sudden doom that i know im never going to see him again. Ive been out shopping in a supermarket and it suddenly hits me.. hits me hard and i start crying.... I know im time it will get less but for now i have to accept its going to happen.... but i will not make contact what so ever... HE MADE CONTACT with me 8 months in to the breakup, and stupidly i replied and it set me back.... since that stupid mistake its been 7 months and i still think about him but i know i have to move on if i want to get on with my life.. its hard but realistic ..... Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Six months is a considerable amount of time. Actually it is nothing in the greater scheme of things when I remember how I was at six months mark last year in March. Very sad times. Link to post Share on other sites
dyna85 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Jack, recycling of thoughts/memories and urges to contact are normal throughout the grieving process. Hope that helps. Link to post Share on other sites
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