what to do

[JustAGirl]

this a follow up to yesterday;s response

 

I saw my bf in class today and he tried talking to me (he said we was waiting to meet me in the usual place, and thought i slept in) ... etc... i just say hi... and talked to others... and left w/ a bunch of girls...

 

later on i got his e-mail saying that he was hoping there was still a chance for us, but after he saw me just leave him there & walk out w/ some girls, he realized i rlly dont want him anymore

 

YES from one side, i realize with my mind we are not compatible people, for many reasons

 

but i just cannot stop crying

 

when i'm with ppl, i'm ok, but whenever i'm alone, i think that last week i wd spend this time with him and not by myself... and i end up reaching for a book and finding a note from him in there.... there's just things from him EVERYWHERE...

 

if u ask me why i'm crying, i have no idea... i do need to date around b4 i get into something serious again and all, but i only understand that with my mind...

 

my heart says i rlly love him, the way he is, and he loves me, so why cant this work........ i know i can get him back right now... and i know i should let some time pass b4 trying to get him back or deciding something at all.......

 

but i can't stand this: we were together almost ALL the time, if not in person, then talking on icq... we knew everything about each other... and i know he's also crying somewhere at home right now... so i get this urge to just drive over n talk to him.....

 

AHHHH !!!!!!

 

What if this is the love of my life i'm throwing away and i wont ever feel like this towards anyone else???

 

I know u cant decide for me..... i just dont know...

 

I decided to go out dancing tonight cuz i just cant stand being alone and not talking to him like we always did....

 

part of the problem is that he was also a close FRIEND, so if in trouble, i went to him, and right now i can't...

[Tony T]

I know this is a very painful time for you. There is NOTHING, absolutely nothing, that anyone can say or do to take that away for you. It is extremely hard to leave a relationship that has a lot of positives.

 

I will say it takes a greater love for yourself and the beloved if the overall situation just doesn't feel right and you must move on. That doesn't take the pain away. So many things in life that are good for us are painful as well.

 

Healing takes time. Try not to dwell on things, although I know that's impossible. Just don't screw your mind up with all kinds of if's and hypotheticals. You made the determination it wasn't right and you got out of it.

 

The pain will ease and disappear over time. Sometimes we are very reluctant to let go of the pain because in doing so we must let go of something that we once treasured.

 

Love is just such a real bxtch!!!

[Dragonflys]

Hi Justagirl

 

Yeah, see the problem is that he was totally in your life and was always there..now you have to start again and build a new lifestyle on your own..that's tough whether he was right or wrong for you.

 

You've hear the phrase 'if it's meant to be.....'

 

Well in time when you build yourself a happy lifestyle without him and are totally independant again, only then will you find out whether you have done the right thing or not.

 

It gets better...

 

Oliver

[clia]

"part of the problem is that he was also a close FRIEND, so if in trouble, i went to him, and right now i can't..."

 

The above is the hardest part about ending a relationship. Not only do you lose your boy/girlfriend, but you lose your best friend. Believe me, it's hard, but we've all been through it, and you will get over it, as hard as it seems now. You can expect weeks or even months of pain, but when it's all said and done, you will look back and realize that you made the right decision. (Hindsight is 20/20, you know?) The best thing to do is to keep yourself busy with LEARNING about yourself. Take up some new hobbies, try to figure out what YOUR passion is outside of men. Spend a lot of quality time with your girlfriends, who you probably neglected during your relationship. But don't fear, this is part of the process of love, and you will get through it. Don't go back to him because you feel weak, because you can't live without him. You can! You can! All it takes is time.