jen1447 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Ok we seem to be talking about this post, where Heer very clearly contextualizes what the limit of the "naked cuddles" was and what the nature of her relationship with Dan is and always has been. Well being a girl and having a best guy friend I can honestly say that men and women can be just friends. I have a guy friend (Dan) that i knew all the way back from elementary school and even now, we are both in university and are good friends. Now it wasn't all smooth sailing because we have cuddled naked before but that was as far as it ever went. I'm actually glad that we did that because it really showed that we are good friends but physically and sexually he was not my type. My friendship with Dan was also based on mutual respect and understanding. When I had social anxiety he was there for me, when he had depression and family problems I was there for him. We both opened up and really understood each other as companions. I feel that as long as feelings on both sides are reciprocated, men and women can be great friends just like any other person . So, dan didn't get laid then, and he's not going to now either bc he's her cuddle bitch, which we've known from the very beginning, so the danger of their friendship going beyond platonic is bscly non-existent. That means the implication that Jeff got dumped for Dan is pretty much bogus. In case you guys don't know, cuddle bitches don't ever get status as contenders, even tho that's generally what they want most. Dan will never be anything but. Link to post Share on other sites
kylle Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I just don't buy it... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DKT3 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I just don't buy it... I'm with you. I know nothing about cuddle b*tches, I guess I've never been one, but I'm not buying this naked cuddle stuff. In fact, it goes with her actions which leads to her having a crush on Dan. Heer is pretty young, yet old enough to understand her behavior while in a relationship is unacceptable. Jeff is well within reason to be uncomfortable with her actions. One thing I'm positve in about this situation, that is Jeff is a lucky man to have this very toxic relationship over. His next relationship will feel like it was made in heaven. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
inigele14u Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If you have nothing to hide, why aren't you sharing details? He doesn't trust you because you won't let him. I'm not sure why you would deny him access to details and information if you truly aren't up to something. I believe you have asked this question on this forum because you are looking for a way to lie. That, of course, can turn out to be false. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hi everyone, I've been really depressed lately and feel really down:( Sorry for keeping you guy in the dark but I just told my bf that I needed some space and probably time for me to focus more on school, since the semester is starting soon. Thanks whatever your reasons, it's good that you cut Jeff loose. You two aren't a good fit. You each want different things out of a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 So, dan didn't get laid then, and he's not going to now either bc he's her cuddle bitch, which we've known from the very beginning, so the danger of their friendship going beyond platonic is bscly non-existent. That means the implication that Jeff got dumped for Dan is pretty much bogus. In case you guys don't know, cuddle bitches don't ever get status as contenders, even tho that's generally what they want most. Dan will never be anything but. If the point were a target, you would have shot straight down. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kenji_t Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 So, dan didn't get laid then, and he's not going to now either bc he's her cuddle bitch, which we've known from the very beginning, so the danger of their friendship going beyond platonic is bscly non-existent. That means the implication that Jeff got dumped for Dan is pretty much bogus. In case you guys don't know, cuddle bitches don't ever get status as contenders, even tho that's generally what they want most. Dan will never be anything but. These said "cuddle bitches" may never get laid, but you are very naive to think they don't want to...and this for itself erases all "platonic magic" from the friendship. Had Dan got a chance back there, I bet my pinky toe he would have had sex with OP. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
hyrule Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Not sure why everyone keeps saying/implying that ....Dan's a cuddle bitch, and cuddle bitches don't get laid. Lol, yes they do get laid... My husband used to be my cuddle bitch 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Ok we seem to be talking about this post, where Heer very clearly contextualizes what the limit of the "naked cuddles" was and what the nature of her relationship with Dan is and always has been. So, dan didn't get laid then, and he's not going to now either bc he's her cuddle bitch, which we've known from the very beginning, so the danger of their friendship going beyond platonic is bscly non-existent. That means the implication that Jeff got dumped for Dan is pretty much bogus. In case you guys don't know, cuddle bitches don't ever get status as contenders, even tho that's generally what they want most. Dan will never be anything but. I wouldn't bet a red cent on it being 100% true. She's been a lockbox with the truth on many things. "Oh it wasn't so bad...just cuddles." "Oh it wasn't so bad...just naked cuddles." and soon enough "Oh it wasn't so bad...his dick was cuddling my tongue." But seriously. That is highly highly intimate, regardless if any penetration actually occurring. If she is hanging out and spending copious amounts of time, energy, and money on someone. Someone who isn't her partner, who WAS someone whom she shared intimacy with, and she has yet to disclose this past to her then partner...that's wrong. Flat out wrong. Her intentions are good, if we take what she says at face value, because of how she perceives the situation. However I feel she knows it is wrong. When pressured for details by not only her boyfriend, but anonymous people online, the real details are kept hidden for some time. If it was something to not be ashamed about in the current context, it would have been laid out here from the start. Just FYI, cuddle bitches do get laid. It happens all the time. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If they're getting laid, they're not actually cuddle bitches. Cuddle bitches by definition are guys that do indeed want to get laid and be in happy ending romantic relationships with the objects of their affection, but simply aren't contenders in that category for the women who 'keep' them. These women typically and delusionally tell themselves that their cuddle bitches are just friends when they really know (or should know) that they yearn for much more. But they're valued for their friendship qualities and for being decidedly non-threatening sexually, which makes them easy to be around. Just like Dan. Hyrule, your hubs must be the exception to the rule. I take it he's still your 'bitch,' only now you're married to him? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kenji_t Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 If they're getting laid, they're not actually cuddle bitches. Cuddle bitches by definition are guys that do indeed want to get laid and be in happy ending romantic relationships with the objects of their affection, but simply aren't contenders in that category for the women who 'keep' them. These women typically and delusionally tell themselves that their cuddle bitches are just friends when they really know (or should know) that they yearn for much more. But they're valued for their friendship qualities and for being decidedly non-threatening sexually, which makes them easy to be around. Just like Dan. Ahhhhh - so there's no "Platonic Friendship" in that, indeed. At least not from the guy's perspective The guy just cuddles expecting something more, that will never happen, because in the woman's head, they're cute little friends 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Everything is, until it is not. Dan the man, will soon fulfill his plan. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 So, dan didn't get laid then, and he's not going to now either bc he's her cuddle bitch, which we've known from the very beginning, so the danger of their friendship going beyond platonic is bscly non-existent. The first part of what you said above does not lead to the logical conclusion that "the danger of their friendship going beyond platonic is bscly non-existent". It just does not. There are a number of examples on this site, and that I know of in real life, where long term "just friends" eventually develop into a romantic relationship for the first time after years of being platonic. Often times the relationship is though to be platonic, when in fact the guy is an orbiter secretly in love with the just friend. In case you guys don't know, cuddle bitches don't ever get status as contenders, even tho that's generally what they want most. You just admitted that "generally" speaking Dan is probably an orbiter that would like to be more than just friends. The problem with orbiters is that they work hard to meet emotional needs that should be met only by a significant other. This negatively weakens the object of the orbiters affection connection with the significant other. Orbiters also can often become emotional affair ("EA") partner, and even without sex an EA is cheating. She should not keep a naked cuddle buddy as a friend once she is in an exclusive relationship. This whole thing is nothing more than rationalized cake eating. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kylle Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Everything is, until it is not. Dan the man, will soon fulfill his plan. LMAO, this is how Dan REACTED when OP told him about the breakup: http://cdn.xl.thumbs.canstockphoto.com/canstock16409809.jpg And this is how he FELT: https://treeofmamre.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/dr-evil-and-minion-laughing.png?w=640 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Ahhhhh - so there's no "Platonic Friendship" in that, indeed. At least not from the guy's perspective The guy just cuddles expecting something more, that will never happen, because in the woman's head, they're cute little friends That's actually quite accurate. (Just that to the woman - usually 'girl' bc women outgrow it - the CB is indeed a platonic friend. There are some instances of women who knowingly and deliberately keep cuddle bitches for exploitative purposes, but most are doing the delusion thing and/or struggling with identifying and acknowledging roles and motives.) I called Dan a cuddle bitch from the get-go bc it seems clear to me he wants in Heer's pants. The distinction is that Heer doesn't feel the same way, one-time naked cuddles notwithstanding. She sees him as a friend despite the likely realities, Jeff sees his inclinations as a threat bc he knows guys and cuddle bitches. The two positions obvs don't mix well. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 The first part of what you said above does not lead to the logical conclusion that "the danger of their friendship going beyond platonic is bscly non-existent". It just does not. There are a number of examples on this site, and that I know of in real life, where long term "just friends" eventually develop into a romantic relationship for the first time after years of being platonic. Often times the relationship is though to be platonic, when in fact the guy is an orbiter secretly in love with the just friend. You just admitted that "generally" speaking Dan is probably an orbiter that would like to be more than just friends. The problem with orbiters is that they work hard to meet emotional needs that should be met only by a significant other. This negatively weakens the object of the orbiters affection connection with the significant other. Orbiters also can often become emotional affair ("EA") partner, and even without sex an EA is cheating. She should not keep a naked cuddle buddy as a friend once she is in an exclusive relationship. This whole thing is nothing more than rationalized cake eating. You just don't understand cuddle bitches and the whole man-woman-romance dynamic thing very well, sorry. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 LMAO, this is how Dan REACTED when OP told him about the breakup: http://cdn.xl.thumbs.canstockphoto.com/canstock16409809.jpg And this is how he FELT: https://treeofmamre.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/dr-evil-and-minion-laughing.png?w=640 Most likely, yeah. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 The point isn't whether Dan is a cuddle bitch or not, there is so much over-analysis in this thread at this point, it's quite amazing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 I have 'cuddle bitches', but I guess it's a different dynamic from what you meant? For the girls that come 'cuddle', they certainly know the nature of the cuddle and to what extent, They certainly aren't trying to start a relationship with me, they know my answer is no, So I can see why Jeff would be uneasy knowing what I know... Naked cuddles? Oh please, we've already played the game you're beginning to discover, Been there, bought a tshirt, lost it, and then bought another, You're breaking up with Jeff to get with Dan to satisfy your sexuality, Call it for what it is, no need for the dissenting formality. Link to post Share on other sites
hyrule Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Hyrule, your hubs must be the exception to the rule. I take it he's still your 'bitch,' only now you're married to him? You bet hahaha. But yes...girls lie to themselves and think these "cuddle bitches" are at their best intent, that they (just like themselves) just want to be friends. It's not that Dan don't care for her as a friend, but give him a chance and he would do waaaay more than cuddling with OP 2 Link to post Share on other sites
PaperCrane Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 You just don't understand cuddle bitches and the whole man-woman-romance dynamic thing very well, sorry. Not that this is a real debate going on, but falling on an ad hominem isn't very graceful. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Not that this is a real debate going on, but falling on an ad hominem isn't very graceful. It's the truth tho - have no real obligation to fix anyone's fundamental misconceptions over anything whether they submit them for discussion or not, particularly when they have little bearing on the main topic of the thread. Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 You just don't understand cuddle bitches and the whole man-woman-romance dynamic thing very well, sorry. Actually you do not understand. If you look just above your post you will see the following post by hyrule: Lol, yes they do get laid... My husband used to be my cuddle bitch According to you hyrule should not have ever married her "cuddle bitch" because you believe that cannot happen. But of course she did marry her cuddle bitch, which means that it can happen and you are wrong. A woman that keeps a cuddle bitch while in an exclusive relationship is cake eating. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Try Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 But yes...girls lie to themselves and think these "cuddle bitches" are at their best intent The key words here are "lie to themselves". Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted September 1, 2015 Share Posted September 1, 2015 Actually you do not understand. If you look just above your post you will see the following post by hyrule: According to you hyrule should not have ever married her "cuddle bitch" because you believe that cannot happen. But of course she did marry her cuddle bitch, which means that it can happen and you are wrong. A woman that keeps a cuddle bitch while in an exclusive relationship is cake eating. I take it you didn't see my post where I spoke to that .... bc exceptions to every rule, naturally, and so on and so on. Really not interested in hyper-analysis or discussing concepts with you that you can't or won't grasp, sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts