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BF jealous of my best guy friend and I

Heer

By Heer,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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I take it you didn't see my post where I spoke to that .... :p bc exceptions to every rule, naturally, and so on and so on.
Read the infidelity section of this site and you will see that it is not so exceptional.

 

Really not interested in hyper-analysis or discussing concepts with you that you can't or won't grasp, sorry.
"The Emperor's New Clothes" tactic.
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as you eloquently point out, one short trip to the infidelity section here shows exactly why boyfriends don't dig the guy friends.
Especially guy friends that are naked cuddle buddies.
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Space Ritual

Space Ritual

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I think we are all well aware of each other's stances through multiple pages after Heer last posted

 

None of us are going to change each other's mind about anything regarding this thread. Kind of like having a running meme battle or Twitter War. The Hand Grenades are all spent up and now we are at the point of throwing clods of mud.

 

The Horse has been beaten not only to death, but beyond recognition...lol

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Space Ritual

Space Ritual

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Wait! You mean that was a horse? Are you sure? LOL!!!!

 

 

The Horse's nickname was GLUE! LOL

 

Yeah I just felt I did not have anything else to contribute once the thread started taking a life of it's own. I realized that the thread was way too triggery for me when I crossed the line between trying to be constructive and posting out of a Burn The Witches Mentality.

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Heer

Heer

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Hi everyone, its been a while but Jeff called me this evening and says that he wants to talk. He wants to meet me Saturday. I tried not to be emotional because he called me while i was on the bus but I really broke down on the inside. He basically told me that he doesn't want me going to Dan's party and I told him that we should go together. I really want us to go together and have a good time with my other friends. He then told me that we should meet on Saturday. Its so sad right now.

 

Also, I see the comments about Dan on this thread but I haven't told him anything about our break. Also, Dan has a gf so she knows that we are friends as well. I'm so unsure about the party as well.:confused::confused:

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kilgore

kilgore

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Honestly from your other threads your boyfriend sounds like a creep. You would do better without him. I hate to be so blunt but there it is

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Heer

Heer

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Jeff is a really great bf but yes, the last experience with him taking Dan's gift and ripping it open really scared me. He literally took it out of my hands and tore it open and I told him no. He got really mad and started to shout and accuse me. It never got seriously physical but he did throw the books at me. It was then that I left his place because I got really scared:(:(. He's a lot better when he calms down afterward.

 

I just hope that when I meet him this Saturday that things can finally get hashed out. Dan has also been texting me lately and I think he knows somethings wrong but I don't want to involve him. Its really hard when my friends know my bf so I don't want to talk to them as well. I talked to my mom and she told me to just relax for now, which isn't helpful:mad:

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kilgore

kilgore

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Jeff is a really great bf but yes, the last experience with him taking Dan's gift and ripping it open really scared me. He literally took it out of my hands and tore it open and I told him no. He got really mad and started to shout and accuse me. It never got seriously physical but he did throw the books at me. It was then that I left his place because I got really scared:(:(. He's a lot better when he calms down afterward.

 

I just hope that when I meet him this Saturday that things can finally get hashed out. Dan has also been texting me lately and I think he knows somethings wrong but I don't want to involve him. Its really hard when my friends know my bf so I don't want to talk to them as well. I talked to my mom and she told me to just relax for now, which isn't helpful:mad:

 

Also the nazi thing

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kylle

kylle

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It never got seriously physical but he did throw the books at me.

 

Then it got physical.

 

Regardless of the Dan stuff, break up with this guy.

 

EDIT:

 

My bad, the breakup already happened, keep it broken.

If I were you, I wouldn't even look at the guy's face anymore.

Edited by kylle
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kgcolonel

kgcolonel

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Heer

 

I think spells out to you how Jeff is feeling. It looks as though it may be time to make a choice. True friends should understand when we need to show respect to our SO.

 

You should however be honest about your feelings and to Jeff as to where your heart is.

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jen1447

jen1447

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Jeff is a really great bf but yes, the last experience with him taking Dan's gift and ripping it open really scared me. He literally took it out of my hands and tore it open and I told him no. He got really mad and started to shout and accuse me. It never got seriously physical but he did throw the books at me. It was then that I left his place because I got really scared:(:(. He's a lot better when he calms down afterward.

 

I just hope that when I meet him this Saturday that things can finally get hashed out. Dan has also been texting me lately and I think he knows somethings wrong but I don't want to involve him. Its really hard when my friends know my bf so I don't want to talk to them as well. I talked to my mom and she told me to just relax for now, which isn't helpful:mad:

That alone means it's probably time for this to end hon. I say probably assuming that it's possible you're misrepresenting the severity of this some way, but if it happened just like you said, that's bad. And that kind of bad rarely gets better, even if he calms down from time to time. You shouldn't have to pin your hopes on someone's calm periods.

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Diezel

Diezel

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Dan has also been texting me lately and I think he knows somethings wrong but I don't want to involve him.

 

NOW you don't want to involve him?

That's what got you in trouble in the first place.

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SawtoothMars

SawtoothMars

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I feel kinda mad about him possibly getting into my phone because its my privacy so I've started to get a more complicated password for my iphone (not the 4 digit number). However, I have no proof of his snooping so I will not say anything about that.

I know for a fact that Dan and I are platonic friends because we've had that conversation before and it was flirting before I met my bf. I toned down on the flirting and am acting more friendly. What do you think I should do? I really don't want this to turn confrontational because I'm seeing him tmrw night!!

 

If you didn't give your BF the passkey to your phone then you have to be retarded to think he somehow cracked it and snooped. Even a 4 digit pin locks you out if you punch in the number wrong more than a couple times. This alone makes you seem like a paranoid nut job.

 

As to the idea that Dan is some cuddly kitten you play with from time to time... that's clearly rubbish. The guy wants in your pants or he wouldnt be hanging around AND YOU KNOW IT!

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Heer

Heer

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Thanks everyone. I've been spending time alone and I've been talking with my friends and my mom. All your advice on this forum have been amazing and i took that into account as well. I've made my mind up to just end things with Jeff and focus on school (Its getting busy really fast) and hanging out with old friends. In retrospect it was just too much for me to juggle school, work, friends and boyfriend, so I guess timing for Jeff and I didn't work out. I'm still hurting and sad but my friends have been supportive and school is really distracting me:laugh::laugh::laugh: Thanks for all your help everyone.

 

I'm thinking of talking to him face to face about breaking up because I don't want to hide behind a screen or text him. Should I just be blunt with breaking up with him? I'm guessing its gonna be very emotional but I don't want to cry in front of him anymore.

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Space Ritual

Space Ritual

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Thanks everyone. I've been spending time alone and I've been talking with my friends and my mom. All your advice on this forum have been amazing and i took that into account as well. I've made my mind up to just end things with Jeff and focus on school (Its getting busy really fast) and hanging out with old friends. In retrospect it was just too much for me to juggle school, work, friends and boyfriend, so I guess timing for Jeff and I didn't work out. I'm still hurting and sad but my friends have been supportive and school is really distracting me:laugh::laugh::laugh: Thanks for all your help everyone.

 

I'm thinking of talking to him face to face about breaking up because I don't want to hide behind a screen or text him. Should I just be blunt with breaking up with him? I'm guessing its gonna be very emotional but I don't want to cry in front of him anymore.

 

Best to do it face to face, that way neither of you will misinterpret tone through text. Plus I'm sure you would want the respect of being broken up to face to face if the shoe was on the other foot, would you not?

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qubist

qubist

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Posted
Thanks everyone. I've been spending time alone and I've been talking with my friends and my mom. All your advice on this forum have been amazing and i took that into account as well. I've made my mind up to just end things with Jeff and focus on school (Its getting busy really fast) and hanging out with old friends. In retrospect it was just too much for me to juggle school, work, friends and boyfriend, so I guess timing for Jeff and I didn't work out. I'm still hurting and sad but my friends have been supportive and school is really distracting me:laugh::laugh::laugh: Thanks for all your help everyone.

 

I'm thinking of talking to him face to face about breaking up because I don't want to hide behind a screen or text him. Should I just be blunt with breaking up with him? I'm guessing its gonna be very emotional but I don't want to cry in front of him anymore.

there isn't an easy way to break up with someone who cares about you but at least a Face-to-face shows more respect than a message/email.

tell him face to face you don't have to explain everything then you may follow up with an email or text message later detailing more your reasons.

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smackie9

smackie9

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Thanks everyone. I've been spending time alone and I've been talking with my friends and my mom. All your advice on this forum have been amazing and i took that into account as well. I've made my mind up to just end things with Jeff and focus on school (Its getting busy really fast) and hanging out with old friends. In retrospect it was just too much for me to juggle school, work, friends and boyfriend, so I guess timing for Jeff and I didn't work out. I'm still hurting and sad but my friends have been supportive and school is really distracting me:laugh::laugh::laugh: Thanks for all your help everyone.

 

I'm thinking of talking to him face to face about breaking up because I don't want to hide behind a screen or text him. Should I just be blunt with breaking up with him? I'm guessing its gonna be very emotional but I don't want to cry in front of him anymore.

If he asks, you tell him the honest truth so you both can have closure. Good luck with school and don't forget to have fun! :)

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autumnnight

autumnnight

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Jeff is a really great bf but yes, the last experience with him taking Dan's gift and ripping it open really scared me. He literally took it out of my hands and tore it open and I told him no. He got really mad and started to shout and accuse me. It never got seriously physical but he did throw the books at me. It was then that I left his place because I got really scared:(:(. He's a lot better when he calms down afterward.

 

I just hope that when I meet him this Saturday that things can finally get hashed out. Dan has also been texting me lately and I think he knows somethings wrong but I don't want to involve him. Its really hard when my friends know my bf so I don't want to talk to them as well. I talked to my mom and she told me to just relax for now, which isn't helpful:mad:

 

Then there's nothing else to really think about. Dan or no Dan, taking something from you, ripping it apart, shouting at you, and throwing things at you are abusive. End of story. Only a knuckle dragging cavemen with no respect for women would suggest that you take that or try to condone it...period.

 

Jeff goes.

 

However, before you find another boyfriend, please read Not Just Friends. Next go round your BF needs to come a wide first to your guy friend.

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Heer

Heer

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Thanks everyone. I'm gonna head over to his place tmrw and have a talk with him and get my stuff. I wanted someone to come with me but in the end I decided against it because its between Jeff and me. I really want to hash this out once and for all with Jeff. I've been doing better nowadays even though I'm still a bit down. Thank you for all your support:)

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Space Ritual

Space Ritual

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Thanks everyone. I'm gonna head over to his place tmrw and have a talk with him and get my stuff. I wanted someone to come with me but in the end I decided against it because its between Jeff and me. I really want to hash this out once and for all with Jeff. I've been doing better nowadays even though I'm still a bit down. Thank you for all your support:)

 

You are quite welcome. At the very least you should be commended for sticking around and reading our replies when our fangs were coning out. lol.

 

Most people would have probably never come back to the thread but you did.

 

Best of Luck, Heer:)

 

GTA (Greater Toronto Area)? I was hoping Grand Theft Auto because I have problems getting people to help me on my Heists....

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Spectre

Spectre

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Posted (edited)
Thanks everyone. I'm gonna head over to his place tmrw and have a talk with him and get my stuff. I wanted someone to come with me but in the end I decided against it because its between Jeff and me.

 

I give you kudos for at least knowing not to bring Dan with you.

 

Also since the other posts were deleted I will repeat some advice for you to please remember: people who play stupid games get stupid prizes. Keep this in mind for future relationships.

Edited by Spectre
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