leftfordead2 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I met him online last year. Since then, we have already met up twice and both times, I flew out to his country (close to 20 hrs plane time). After the 2nd trip, I asked him if he could come over in July as I have a few days time off from work. He said he would make it happen and a few days later, he said that there were delays in his father's shop renovations and he would not be able to take time off to come over. About the father's shop, it was supposed to be done last year but stuff keeps getting delayed until now. He doesn't know when it will reopen but he has told me that he is not able to take time off now to visit me. I asked him what he could do in the meantime due to the delay and he said nothing much. On the 2nd trip, he did bring me to see his family and friends and it doesn't seem like he's stringing me along. However, I don't know how long more I can deal with this unknown. I tried suggesting visiting him again in a few months time and we can meet up after he ends work at his dad's shop but he brushed it off and quickly changed the topic. I'm conflicted by his actions cause on the one hand, he texts me everyday and seems to be genuinely upset by the delays but on the other hand, it doesn't seem like he has any "plans" in mind for us. So I guess my question is, should I continue waiting for him?...or end this.. Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 It's a difficult choice to make, regardless if you otherwise have everything in common and things are going as good as they can considering the circumstances. I do believe that especially for couples attempting long distance relationships that it is vital to have an overall agenda, especially if has to be long term. Otherwise the chance of one person feeling discontent, like you are experiencing somewhat, can make things fall apart, even if that is not your desire. As great though as it is to make plans, it's easy for them to fall apart, especially if motivation is being lowered by events happening around you. I'm sure it's not easy with his dad's shop, but even so it shouldn't change things too drastically between you. I'd be a bit concerned by him brushing off and changing topic when you suggested to come visit him. While there can be difficult times one go through, when you already see each other as rare as it is, then I do think to maintain the connection it is somewhat vital to not let it fade into an inevitable nothingness. 1-2 years of knowing someone is still relatively short, but yeah at one point you do have to make a choice if things have just stalled and/or if there is still the same kind of connection that made you find each other in the first place. I don't think you can underestimate how important communication is in long distance relationships, hopefully yours still have enough to give you an incentive to believe in it, else you must consider other options. I'm not a fan of people that dodge/avoid topics or questions in general as it typically means that there is something more to it, be it temporarily or just very emotional. Btw Coach, Ellis, Nick, or Rochelle? (Assuming your nick is based of Valve's IP) Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 should I continue waiting for him?...or end this.. What's your deal? Is he your boyfriend? Did he ask you to be his girlfriend? Also, would you be willing to move where he's at? Because there's no indication that he's going to move anywhere, or willing to do so. His dad's shop is an excuse. But it's also his way to tell you that he's tied to where he's at. And he has no idea if you'd be willing to move there. So he might really think the relationship is not going anywhere and just trying to enjoy the moment. You need to be honest with yourself and see if you are ready to change your life for him. If you're not, then you need to break up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
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