adna89 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Ok first i was sorry for you,then i read your thread,and you seem to be the one that started all this with him.Even when he told you stuff like "my wife saw i can not"..and never replied to your fb message,so you were the one that started it knowing he had a wife sorr,but you deserve this..he told you the truth,he loves his wife and he is glad you did not make any truble to him,...he also wants to feel better by saying sorry to you(its all really selfish) Link to post Share on other sites
Author LovelyBrown Posted May 30, 2015 Author Share Posted May 30, 2015 I don't feel that sharp pain anymore but I remeber that. It's horrible. I don't know where along the line it stopped being sharp and turned to dull and bearable, but it happened without my knowing with time. I'm looking forward to feeling nothing at all about him. It's coming. I know for sure once I get into another relationship, he will be gone from my mind altogether. I'm that way though. Thanks for you words of encouragement before, I truly appreciate it. I hope you can find fulfillment soon enough! I'm hoping that once my husband returns I can focus completely on our relationship and begin healing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LovelyBrown Posted May 31, 2015 Author Share Posted May 31, 2015 Ok first i was sorry for you,then i read your thread,and you seem to be the one that started all this with him.Even when he told you stuff like "my wife saw i can not"..and never replied to your fb message,so you were the one that started it knowing he had a wife sorr,but you deserve this..he told you the truth,he loves his wife and he is glad you did not make any truble to him,...he also wants to feel better by saying sorry to you(its all really selfish) I messaged him, AFTER he followed yet another one of my accounts my message consisted of asking him why? Since, you know, he was trying to stay away and have NC with me. I'm not looking for pity here, there's nothing people can say to me that I don't already know or have told myself regarding how wrong this whole thing is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LovelyBrown Posted June 16, 2015 Author Share Posted June 16, 2015 I don't know what's gotten into me the last few days have been so filled with anxiety, I miss him, I miss our friendship, he has tried to talk to me and I keep walking away, but I'm actually considering talking to him. Scenarios keep playing in my head and I keep making up reasons as to why he spoke to me the way he did last time we talked, that maybe he needed reasurance from me, that he wanted me to tell him we would be okay and figure out a way to make it work (I've been that person to him for so many months, why would he not expect me to reason through this for the both of us?) SEE!!! I need help! Why can't he just leave my head? Every time I'm stuck in a room with him the tension is unbearable, we don't even have to look at each other, and others have started to pick up on it too! A coworker told me it was strange he doesn't stop by our office anymore... There's this feeling in the pit of my stomach that will not go away... I think I'm loosing it, I really thought I was coming to terms with all of this. Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 It's really hard but you talking to him isn't going to change anything. I passby mms block everyday and I force myself to not look, I do not want to run into him or even see him in a distance. So I can't even imagine how are this must be for you. You miss the feelings he evoked in you and that's understandable. But stay strong and don't give him the satisfaction of you alking to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LovelyBrown Posted June 16, 2015 Author Share Posted June 16, 2015 It's really hard but you talking to him isn't going to change anything. I passby mms block everyday and I force myself to not look, I do not want to run into him or even see him in a distance. So I can't even imagine how are this must be for you. You miss the feelings he evoked in you and that's understandable. But stay strong and don't give him the satisfaction of you alking to him. I know. And I know that I'm suppose to move on because it isn't as if we had a big physical thing to get over! I know what I'm suppose to do, but either my head or my heart are betraying me. Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I don't know what's gotten into me the last few days have been so filled with anxiety, I miss him, I miss our friendship, he has tried to talk to me and I keep walking away, but I'm actually considering talking to him. Scenarios keep playing in my head and I keep making up reasons as to why he spoke to me the way he did last time we talked, that maybe he needed reasurance from me, that he wanted me to tell him we would be okay and figure out a way to make it work (I've been that person to him for so many months, why would he not expect me to reason through this for the both of us?) SEE!!! I need help! Why can't he just leave my head? Every time I'm stuck in a room with him the tension is unbearable, we don't even have to look at each other, and others have started to pick up on it too! A coworker told me it was strange he doesn't stop by our office anymore... There's this feeling in the pit of my stomach that will not go away... I think I'm loosing it, I really thought I was coming to terms with all of this. Where are you pulling these ideas from? Gently, it seems you have been much more invested in the dynamic between the two of you than he ever was. It was flirting, at best. Not an EA. Try to see the situation clearly, it'll help you move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 I know. And I know that I'm suppose to move on because it isn't as if we had a big physical thing to get over! I know what I'm suppose to do, but either my head or my heart are betraying me. It doesn't have to be a big physical thing for it to hurt. You were close to him, I completely understand. I was great friends w my mm before anything even happened and then we were together for a year and a half. I still miss him... But I know I have to walk away. It's the right thing to do for you also. Can you get a job elsewhere or just try to stay away from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LovelyBrown Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 Where are you pulling these ideas from? Gently, it seems you have been much more invested in the dynamic between the two of you than he ever was. It was flirting, at best. Not an EA. Try to see the situation clearly, it'll help you move on. I think your definition of an EA and mine is completely different. For what I think an EA can be as simple as two people sharing something with each other that they wouldn't share with their spouses, which we were both doing. There is a very intense sexual chemistry between the two of us. I do agree that I was deeper in than he was, but my thoughts come from him grasping at his chest and saying that it was killing him being unable to be with me, but he couldn't do it. In so many words he said he just wouldn't be able to get away with it because his spouse is on him ALL THE TIME. Him still wanting to be friends and approaching me all the time with puppy eyes and quiet hellos, lead me to think that he's now second guessing himself. But, tho that last conversation was hurtful and still plays in my head I'm now, stupidly, beginning to think that maybe there was something more to it. I know there isn't, but I miss him and I'm looking for any excuse to talk to him. I know I need to move on. He's a selfish jerk that just loves to get his ego messaged by me that's what I need to see clearly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LovelyBrown Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 It doesn't have to be a big physical thing for it to hurt. You were close to him, I completely understand. I was great friends w my mm before anything even happened and then we were together for a year and a half. I still miss him... But I know I have to walk away. It's the right thing to do for you also. Can you get a job elsewhere or just try to stay away from him. No, I just try to stay away from him. I just renewed my contract so I'm there for another year. Link to post Share on other sites
the_artist_1970 Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 I feel so stupid! Why didn't I stand up for myself more?! Then again, like you said, I just don't want him to think he's worth my time. This guy isn't worth you standing up to him. He is a self-centered cheater who doesn't know how to keep his boundaries in check. Ignore him. Men like him thrive off of the attention. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LovelyBrown Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 This guy isn't worth you standing up to him. He is a self-centered cheater who doesn't know how to keep his boundaries in check. Ignore him. Men like him thrive off of the attention. Thank you! I couldn't agree more. Link to post Share on other sites
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