Showing confidence or being desperate?

[LookAtThisPOst]

With all these thoughts on "how to approach a woman", it's no wonder men are beating their heads against the wall.

 

Why? "I'm afraid I may come off as desperate"

 

When I'm at Meetups and so on, sometimes I wait a while seeing the same woman more than one occasion before asking for their # or even asking them out. Or even approaching. I know not to stay around her too longer and "mingle" unlike some other men that glue themselves to the same women throughout the entire BBQ or Pool Party or whatever.

 

I did something a bit different... I decided to be more forward with my intentions from the beginning. I went to a private B-Day party I was invited to, and met this woman there. It was at a night club, so I couldn't get much of a conversation going with her and just few basic things.

 

 

I had another situation where I did something I normally didn't do. I was at a party at a friends house, this woman was a plus 1 and single. We were really chatting it up, cutting it up, and this was indeed the type of woman I was looking for. Towards the end of the evening when she said she had to get going, as her other female friend was her ride...I said, "It was really nice meeting you and getting to know you...would you mind if I get your phone #, granted that you're single that is. LOL"

 

She said, "No thanks"

 

I told another friend about this and he said, "Dude, you were desperate asking for her # right away like that!"

 

And I'm like, "Dude...that actually shows confidence."

 

Am I right on this?

 

Anyways, with ALL these posts on LS, apparently men are afraid to approach women without coming off as desperate/creepy. Apparently being forward in asking for a woman's digits is considered as such...but why think in such a fashion?

 

If a man is being told "You're too desperate for asking for her # right away"

 

I one time had asked a woman if she was single...and she did say that she was...then I asked, "How long have you been single?" and she gave me attitude and said, "does it matter?"

 

Thoughts? Anyone see the contradiction here?

[d0nnivain]

I think it showed confidence not desperation but the complicating factor is her level of confidence. You were a stranger & that may have caused her to say no for safety reasons, not solely lack of interest. It's a weird line.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I think there's two obstacles here.

 

1) Is she attracted to you?

 

2) Did you f@ck something up so that she would have given you a chance otherwise but you got rejected?

 

Guys almost automatically jump to 2) because they so desperately want a woman they are attracted to, to be attracted to them too.

 

But 90% of the time it is just the answer to 1) is no.