GemmaUK Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 is that it's all so god damned serious! Why can't guys chill out and be just more relaxed about it all? I would love to meet a guy who was just being himself and relaxed, instead he is all on eggshells being super polite and over accommodating and then forcing the whole dating/relationship thing so so much! Before they talk about the 'relationship' you can sense the whole persona they are attempting to be. It's so off putting! Texting every 5 minutes and needing to remind you about him 20 times a day. He is there..everywhere. You can't do anything without him wanting to know what and who with.... Why? I'm talking men 40-50 too so it's not like they are teens and unsure. Quesh for the guys: are women my age (46) this way? Cos,I just don't get it at all. Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 46 year olds are tasty. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 is that it's all so god damned serious! Why can't guys chill out and be just more relaxed about it all? I would love to meet a guy who was just being himself and relaxed, instead he is all on eggshells being super polite and over accommodating and then forcing the whole dating/relationship thing so so much! Before they talk about the 'relationship' you can sense the whole persona they are attempting to be. It's so off putting! Texting every 5 minutes and needing to remind you about him 20 times a day. He is there..everywhere. You can't do anything without him wanting to know what and who with.... Why? I'm talking men 40-50 too so it's not like they are teens and unsure. Quesh for the guys: are women my age (46) this way? Cos,I just don't get it at all. I am like that now. I'm essentially looking for a best friend, so you cannot force it. It's either there or not. I may be tempted to take the closest thing if I can find it but nothing has really been close recently. But most people are looking for sexual attraction and status as the barometer. So, when you find it, it's like chasing a job interview when you don't have a job. Even if the other person doesn't feel it or is lukewarm. It becomes a prize and a goal instead of a give and take. I did used to be more like you describe. I would manage to land a date with a woman I thought I was attractive, and I would pull out all the stops to try and 'win her'. I used to spend a WHOLE DAY planning a date. One of the last dates I planned was Starbucks, on the way home from work. I will end by saying that a lot of guys are like that because women make them like that. The women who happen to accept dates with me recently are ridiculously laid back. But with a lot of women, if I said, "Yea, let's just meet up at Starbucks" it'd be over before it started. Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Laid back types, both men and women are the most pleasant to be around. While you perhaps would assume someone in their 40-50s would be more sure of themselves, I don't think that the "indirect" pressure and expectation of society goes away. Not even when you in your 90s for that matter. Reading other people, especially in the early stages of any relationship can be difficult, but you get past that by taking chances in your conversations and actions. I do understand that everyone wants to be at their best of behavior, especially when introducing themselves to someone new, but you can be that while also being relaxed. Any sensible person will acknowledge the fact that there are many layers of everything, especially our personality. Just because someone is more carefree doesn't mean that they can't be the utmost serious when needed. Anyway meeting people that just click with you is still pretty flukey, the few women close to your age range I know are quite easygoing. Link to post Share on other sites
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