gary345 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 (edited) Hi new here,me and my ex girlfriend were together for 3 years.it was a long distance relationship,I'm from the UK,she from USA,I'm 35 she 38.i knew early on she had low self esteem and was insecure,especially about her weight,she is quite overweight.She also told me she had an abusive relationship with her children's father,he was no longer around,he died.She has 3 children all throughout our relationship she was very needy and jealous,she found it hard to believe that a guy who likes to workout,would want to be with her.I had to repeatedly reassure her that i loved her and wanted to be with her.I was flying over every 3 months after the first year,staying for 3 weeks then flying back.I was going to move early next year to be with her. Back on Jan 11th a guy messaged her on Facebook,she mentioned him again a few days later,but this time called him by his name,he was telling her she was pretty,I told her to tell him to back off and block him.On Jan 25th we had a big armament over nothing,she started it,then told me its over,we did not speaks for a few days,then she called me,wanting to work things out.over the next week we were on speaking terms,but still not back together. On Feb. 6th she started another argument,then asked for a break from me,got back in touch on 9th,asked if I was OK,then said I wont bother you anymore.i had no idea what was going on,she called me on 16th Feb,wanting to take things slow,but she would not be speaking to me as much.I decided to go to that guys Facebook page,and I saw she had posted on his page on 7th Feb.,day after she asked for break,she had a great night and loved him,I confronted her and she told me IM crazy and nothing going on. She started seeing that guy officially by the end of Feb.she got back in touch with me on May 1st,saying she loved me and wanted to be with me.I asked if she was still with that guy,she said yes,but would break up with him.After 2 weeks,i told her i had enough,she told me shes staying with him and wants nothing to do with me. Her best friend got in touch with me a few days ago and what she has told me has me very concerned.she told me that guy from the first day,He messaged her on Jan 11th,was texting her non stop and calling her and started showing up at her house every day,he would not leave her alone.She and him got each others names tattooed on each other,he got his on his neck hers on her chest.She wanted a butterfly,but he made her get his name tattooed on her,he moved himself into her house at end of march after dating for a few weeks,turned up at her house with his clothes and refused too leave,she gave in to him and let him move in. Her parents live very close to her,and she went every day, both are not very well,she hardly goes now,he does not like her going.He calls her from work all the time checking up on her,he has a temper but has not hit her yet.Now she is leaving her house and moving 40 miles away in a new house with him,her best friend never sees her now and rarely talks to her on phone,he is jealous of her she said.She has also been drinking heavily since she got with this guy,she never drank.He has asked him to marry him twice all ready,first time after a month and again last weekend.She has refused both times,she wants to date not marry,but he keep pushing for marriage.Shes now telling her best friend,hes bit less controlling and shes happy,and wants to move,and she likes him being in control.i love this girl but she clearly has some major issues and im not sure what to do. Edited May 30, 2015 by gary345 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 You're not going to want to hear this, but you do nothing. THis is not your concern. It's none of your business. She's an adult, and she's your ex-. Unless she's in real physical danger, or her children are, then you need to let go. If you're in the UK, there are people closer to her (like her friend, for instance?) for whom it's more practical to do something. Leave it alone. I'm sorry, but really, this isn't your call. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 She's beyond help. She craves the abuse that you couldn't give her. Pretend she's dead & move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Torii Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 I understand that you're concerned, but there is absolutely nothing you are able to do about the situation. She could've ended the relationship with this man, before it escalated into the controlling and jealous situation it is now. She continued to see this man, even after she went on those dates with you, so the only person to blame for the situation she is in now is herself. She didn't have to let the man move in with her, she didn't have to move away from hey family and friends to be with this man - - but SHE DID.. There's nothing you can do. She has to help herself. She got herself into that situation, she can get herself out of it just as quickly. Link to post Share on other sites
Author gary345 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 update,her best friend told me,her and her new guy,had a huge argument last fri,he called police and she got arrested,shes been charged with domestic violence and aggravated assault.what a mess Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 The phrase 'you dodged a bullet' has never seemed more apt. Link to post Share on other sites
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