loveweary11 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Was watching some Futurama episode where Bender predicted Fry and Leela's future. They read the future together, showing all sorts of emotions and I got a little misted up. That did it. I realized I'm finally ready to jump in again for real... not just hookups. So it took me a very blurry , crazy 3 years to get over a divorce. Wow, that's a long time, but it's finally done. Online dating only works for me to reel in 19-25 year olds and that's basically all I've been doing. I'm going to spend this summer improving my personal appearance, doing a lot of social stuff,asking out tons of chicks and generally meeting everyone I can, hopefully in an older age bracket. Will especially be on the lookout for weird chicks who are adventurous and don't want kids. Goal: Meet someone I can develop real feelings for again. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 It's amazing where the nudges we need come from sometimes. You had an epiphany and know the steps you're going to take to seek your goals. Good Luck LW! I hope you find what you're looking for. She's out there, persistence and patience, my friend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
compulsivedancer Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 I set my Tinder settings specifically to exclude younger guys and it ONLY showed me guys in the age range I specified. I'm glad you're able to have that clarity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Online dating only works for me to reel in 19-25 year olds and that's basically all I've been doing. I'm going to spend this summer improving my personal appearance, doing a lot of social stuff,asking out tons of chicks and generally meeting everyone I can, hopefully in an older age bracket. Will especially be on the lookout for weird chicks who are adventurous and don't want kids. Goal: Meet someone I can develop real feelings for again. You should check out meet up groups. I keep hearing good things. Some groups are very large and full of singles. OLD is so incredibly inefficient!!! A waste of time IMO. And I've read that the odds of meeting someone special are no better than in a bar - presumably because even in a bar you have actual human contact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 LW, you'll probably cross paths at sea with some woman who's captaining her own boat some day. Then you'll both drop anchor, tie on together, and .... At least that seems like the appropriate rom-com outcome. Good luck! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 It's such a good feeling when you get very clear about what you want. I'm doing that lately and making it known, and suddenly I'm meeting interesting men all over the place! I recently deleted my one dating profile, mainly because at least 90% of the men I met from the site misrepresented themselves by lying about their weight, appearance, and age. I felt it had served its usefulness and it's time to move on to less shady pastures. May we all find the best love for us! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted June 2, 2015 Author Share Posted June 2, 2015 I missed all these replies somehow. Thanks for the words of encouragement. Somebody give me a a good online slap in the back of the head if(when) I lose focus and end up with younger summer party chicks... Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Perhaps also start by not calling us ?? Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Perhaps also start by not calling us ?? I tried that. Tonight, literally 7 really attractive, fun girls called or texted about when I'm getting back to NY so we can hang out. I hadn't talked to any of them in weeks, just focusing here. I'm doomed. It just sounds like so much fun and I miss them... Why do they stay around? It's now years that I've known them. Ony a couple of them know each other. Is this where my next relationship will come from? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 The ones you've known for years are a good place to start. If you're like me you just never saw them "that way" before because you were married but you aren't anymore so look at them more closely to figure out who you want to get to know better. There is nothing wrong with being friends first. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Is this where my next relationship will come from? It's possible. You're a laid-back guy - how about just laying back and seeing what develops? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 These are hookups though. Flings. Post marriage chicks. Young, really hot, were supposed to be the ones I was going to avoid to try to seek out the older ones. I tried to not talk to them, but literally, they all got a hold of me today. How does a guy resist girls in their early 20's who are insanely hot and want to go have fun this summer? More importantly, why should he? lol Trying not to end up that 50 year old single guy eventually, but the hook up chicks apparently aren't done with me yet. Soooo conflicted... Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 The answer is you don't resist them, obvs. But does the one you end up with have to be older? Are the big 7 all bimbo types? Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 The answer is you don't resist them, obvs. But does the one you end up with have to be older? Are the big 7 all bimbo types? He he.. Good answer. I have no age requirements at all. I look for someone withb a good heart that I'm attracted to. Maybe no heavy drugs. Define bimbo... I honestly don't really think of women as inferior bimbo types. I get to know them inside for who they are under the exterior shell, which is probably a bimbo shell on occasion. All are girls I've hooked up with on several occasions and had at least some deeper connection with before leaving for the winter. Age isn't a factor for me, but common advice here has told me to shoot older if I want something more meaningful to potentially develop... Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Bimbo = non-intellectual. Obvs those would not make good long-term partners. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Bimbo = non-intellectual. Obvs those would not make good long-term partners. Oh... yeah... a couple might not qualify for long term. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Are you ok with being my #5? I might be available if so. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Are you ok with being my #5? I might be available if so. You're going to have to enlighten me on how the numbering/hierarchy goes. What's being a #5 all about? I'm such an amateur compared to you... just bungling my way through. I didn't even number anyone! Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Well I've got 3 'real' GFs now (recently added another one) and a BF, so #5 just means you'd be the fifth partner. Actually the man/men in my life don't enjoy as high a status as the women tho, so you really would be #5 now that I think of it. In all seriousness our 'rules' only allow for one guy, so ....sorry. I'll let you know if the spot opens up tho. Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 OP how much money would it cost for you to teach me to play woman like Tiger Woods played golf in his prime like back in the day Tiger not present day Tiger? I cant get over the mental block of worrying about hurting a girl feelings if i use her for sex? How can i go about not caring about hurting a female feelings with out feeling guilty? Not trying to hi jack you thread I make my own about the topic . Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) OP how much money would it cost for you to teach me to play woman like Tiger Woods played golf in his prime like back in the day Tiger not present day Tiger? I cant get over the mental block of worrying about hurting a girl feelings if i use her for sex? How can i go about not caring about hurting a female feelings with out feeling guilty? Not trying to hi jack you thread I make my own about the topic . First off, you'll need to become a psychopath since they have no conscience. Not sure why you'd like a disorder that leads to loneliness and many times suicide? But if you really want something... Edited June 8, 2015 by Brigit Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 (edited) OP how much money would it cost for you to teach me to play woman like Tiger Woods played golf in his prime like back in the day Tiger not present day Tiger? I cant get over the mental block of worrying about hurting a girl feelings if i use her for sex? How can i go about not caring about hurting a female feelings with out feeling guilty? Not trying to hi jack you thread I make my own about the topic . That's not at all what I do. I feel I'm being used. I'd like a monogamous relationship actually. I care a lot about just about everyone in my life. I'm not in control of the situation, unfortunately. In each case, they are. They hold back emotionally and use me for sex/fun. Since I'm a guy, it's not the end of the world, but I have some fairly strong feelings for a couple of them. They just don't like me back at that level or something. I even came out point blank to the most compatible one. Told her how I felt. She's a fellow traveler/foodie and she said, "i don't like you that way" as we proceeded to have fun dates with sex half a dozen more times, and now she calls me last night to ask when I'm getting back up there because she misses me. I've made threads asking why I'm never "the one." These girls still date around, trying different guys out, but the hang on to me too. They will date some guy, still talk to me and completely dump the other guy NC, but never do that to me. I do not understand it. But they are all, without exception, 9's and 10's to use love shack terminology. It's pretty hard to resist spending time with them when they ask.... As I said earlier.. . Should i even be trying to say no to that? As this thread says, I'm trying to find something real this summer. However, with these girks beating my door down, it's not easy. It's way too easy to just have fun. I certainly don't have an issue picking up and getting girls interested, but I'm never "the one" anymore, which is its own type of purgatory. Edited June 8, 2015 by loveweary11 Link to post Share on other sites
Brigit Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 That's not at all what I do. I feel I'm being used. I'd like a monogamous relationship actually. I care a lot about just about everyone in my life. I'm not in control of the situation, unfortunately. In each case, they are. They hold back emotionally and use me for sex/fun. Since I'm a guy, it's not the end of the world, but I have some fairly strong feelings for a couple of them. They just don't like me back at that level or something. I even came out point blank to the most compatible one. Told her how I felt. She's a fellow traveler/foodie and she said, "i don't like you that way" as we proceeded to have fun dates with sex half a dozen more times, and now she calls me last night to ask when I'm getting back up there because she misses me. I've made threads asking why I'm never "the one." These girls still date around, trying different guys out, but the hang on to me too. They will date some guy, still talk to me and completely dump the other guy NC, but never do that to me. I do not understand it. But they are all, without exception, 9's and 10's to use love shack terminology. It's pretty hard to resist spending time with them when they ask.... As I said earlier.. . Should i even be trying to say no to that? As this thread says, I'm trying to find something real this summer. However, with these girks beating my door down, it's not easy. It's way too easy to just have fun. I certainly don't have an issue picking up and getting girls interested, but I'm never "the one" anymore, which is its own type of purgatory. I'm really trying to feel sorry for you but it's difficult. How old are you and how old are the women you're dating? Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Well I've got 3 'real' GFs now (recently added another one) and a BF, so #5 just means you'd be the fifth partner. Actually the man/men in my life don't enjoy as high a status as the women tho, so you really would be #5 now that I think of it. In all seriousness our 'rules' only allow for one guy, so ....sorry. I'll let you know if the spot opens up tho. :lmao: Omg... you're too funny. Yeah, I'll go down on the waiting list. You seem pretty fun/interesting. You can send me periodic updates about where I am on the list. You know, when I advance, or at least annually. Like when someone dies and I move up a spot. It's interesting that you have rules. One of my girls asked me last night if I was going to have a couple girls live/travel with me on the new boat. Not if I was having her, but how many would be out playing. lmao I have a "no guys" rule,so I know where you are coming from. Reminds me of that Top Tier thread though... clearly, you're hoarding. Link to post Share on other sites
Author loveweary11 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 I'm really trying to feel sorry for you but it's difficult. How old are you and how old are the women you're dating? You don't have to feel sorry for me. It's a small problem, I'd say. Things could be a lot worse. It's just that hookup culture here is rampant and this is the result. I'm too old and they are too young. Big age gaps. I don't know or meet women in my age group. Gen X. I'm with all millennials. There are a lot of reasons for that, which I've mentioned here on other threads. This summer I was going to try to find single Gen X women, but with all these millennials wanting to hang out, it's pretty distracting to say the least. I guess I'll just enjoy the summer and see what happens... it's not like you can control hiw dating and stuff goes anyway. (I believe that's what my "future girlfriend" said to do... Link to post Share on other sites
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