firefly1 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) I have a friend who I've known for a month or so. In the beginning he asked me to go out to eat or to drink with him and we used to chat for about 6 hours straight. He is older than me by 11 years so he is nearly 40. I would only bump into him at the weekends and then we may decide to go out to have some food together. He texts me almost every night to ask how my day went and then we would chat for about 1-2 hours about random stuff before bed. He knows that I am free at the weekends and he knows where I will be. However he makes no effort to ask me out or to go join me in the places I am at. He is single, never married as far as I know. No kids. He is an expat here and so am I. He has been here for 2 years and hasn't made many close friends. He isn't super shy, but he professes himself to be a bit of a geek (anime, manga, video games). I have seen him hang around people but doesn't talk to them much. My question is, why would a guy spend time to text a girl he has no interest in. Surely if she is interested, made effort to see him and also pretty attractive and fit he would at least try to see her in person? Even as a friend I would like to see the person I'm talking to from time to time. We live in a small city so it's not hard to meet up. Does he have a low sex drive or something. I used to be interested in him but not so much anymore since he never tried to make a move on me, despite us going for dinner and drinks 4 x and also I've invited him back to my flat. I initiate the texts only once a week. He initiates the conversations 80% of the time. Edited May 31, 2015 by firefly1 Link to post Share on other sites
lolablue17 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 He could be insecure with you. Guys can be "not shy" about many things, and at the same time "very shy" about girls. Especially when you're much younger and attractive. He might be afraid to get rejection from you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) deleted my post Edited May 31, 2015 by smackie9 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted June 1, 2015 Share Posted June 1, 2015 (edited) Why don't you just text him and ask to meet up and then see what he says? If he's texting you like you are saying then he does have feelings for you. Maybe YOU need to make the move here? I realize you invited him back to your flat, but some guys can be quite dense about what a girl means when she asks you back to her place. You might have to make the first move here. He might not be normally a shy person, but when it comes to getting intimate he might be shy. Edited June 1, 2015 by Spectre Link to post Share on other sites
Author firefly1 Posted June 1, 2015 Author Share Posted June 1, 2015 Thanks for your replies guys! So I decided 'what do I have to lose?' He texted me this afternoon asking how I was, etc etc and I asked him 'hey do you feel like hanging out tomorrow?' He was super enthusiastic to come round. He didn't want me to cook but I insisted so he relented. So we are gonna bake some cupcakes (his suggestion). I asked him to bring his laptop and maybe we could watch a movie. He suggested to bring some anime haha. I have never been much of a geek in that sense. Now I am trying to figure out his interest level. I guess since he wants to hang out at mine he likes me enough. Link to post Share on other sites
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