He's an American and I'm an Australian...

[SheilaGoesDown]

I am an Aussie chick and recently met an American guy at my local bar. He is over here in Sydney for work and will be here for about 3 years. Of course, I was drawn in straight away by his all-American good looks, charm, wit and sexy accent. I think he likes me (he's called twice since), but there are a few cultural differences I would like to get to the bottom of.

 

He's asked me out to dinner but in Sydney that is a really odd thing for a first meeting (or 'date' as you might call it) - imagine being stuck with some boring person you hardly know for an entire dinner! Usually we just go for more drinks. So this is what I suggested. He agreed, but now I think he might think I'm some kind of alcoholic or something?! Also, I'm not into one night stands but we did go fairly far on our first meeting. Again, this is not unusual here but at one point he asked me to slow down. So now I'm convinced he thinks I'm a slag?! He was also fairly reserved in front of his work colleagues (we were both out after work on a Friday night) whereas we have free drinks at work every night here so everyone kind of gets trashed together.

 

I know these aren't major differences or anything, but I really like this guy, I think he is interesting and we get along really well. Can anyone please give me some tips on what American guys like in a girl?

[amerikajin]

Hey, why don't you register so I can send you a private message.

 

This Yankee loves Aussie women...and I could use a few tips myself.

 

I don't think American guys are really different in terms of what they want from a girl than anyone else. I will say one thing, though: Americans have been accused at times of taking a more casual approach to dating than other cultures. No doubt, you will find American men who are looking for the same things you are, but I'm just putting that out there.

 

The main thing is communication. Aussies and Americans are both pretty direct, so communication shouldn't be difficult - just make sure you do it. Make sure you get an idea of what he's really after before you get in too deep with him. Use your womanly powers to test him a little. Find out if he's out for a casual relationship or something more serious, and see if that matches your agenda.

[laRubiaBonita]

well, i would say you started off wrong.

first, this whole what-if-they-are-boring-and-i-gotta-spend-an-Entire-dinner-with-them Crap...well it is CRAP! you are not forced to sit through a dinner, you could up and leave. dinner is usually a little more intimate than drinks, so you can get to know someone a little better.

 

second, you shoot down dinner for drinks, then you let him go further than you might usually....... umm, yeah that sounds a bit trashy, like you are out for liquor and sex.

 

maybe the next date, go out to dinner, no drinks, kisses- that is it.

 

there is no law that says you cannot step-back and have a nice first date, regardless of where you are from.

 

and a lot of people are more reserved in front of co-workers than there friends..... that just shows some professionalism.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by SheilaGoesDown

whereas we have free drinks at work every night here so everyone kind of gets trashed together.

sheeeeyyyyaaaattttt!!!! where do I send my resume SHEILAGOESDOWN??

[amerikajin]

First off, Alphamale, would you please change your avatar?!?!?! You're making me really hungry - haven't had a burger like that in months!!!

 

Okay...I have to preface this by saying that ever since I saw Elle MacPherson on the cover of Sports Illustrated, I've always wanted to date an Aussie girl. Sorry, just had to get that out of my system.

 

Okay...

 

first you shoot down dinner for drinks, then you let him go further than you might usually....... umm, yeah that sounds a bit trashy, like you are out for liquor and sex.

 

I don't agree with this at all. I think that an American guy living in Australia should know that things aren't going to be the same as back home, and for all of my fellow yanks reading out there, know that not everyone goes out for a candle light dinner on the first date. In many cultures, it starts off with just a drink or two at a bar or something even more low key like a "hobby date" (i.e. some kind of activity). To be honest, I actually think that the Aussie way of doing things is a bit more real, more honest, less full of s*** than the American way - and I say that as a damn proud, flag-waving, anthem-singing American.

 

maybe the next date, go out to dinner, no drinks, kisses- that is it.

 

Nah, do what feels natural to you, Aussie girl. I mean, what's he going to do, date an American girl? He's in Oz, so he's gotta play by Aussie rules. If he can't, he ain't worth a f*ck.

 

and a lot of people are more reserved in front of co-workers than there friends..... that just shows some professionalism.

 

Okay, I totally agree with this - and this is the one thing that's going to be difficult for him to shake. American men are very conscious of themselves in business situations and we are trained to try to keep work separate from our social lives. I think that's why Americans don't always go along so well with dating around the work place, even though a lot of us end up doing it.

[alphamale]

Originally posted by amerikajin

First off, Alphamale, would you please change your avatar?!?!?! You're making me really hungry - haven't had a burger like that in months!!!

OK I'll change it AMERIKAJIN. A few others have mentioned the same thing. A 1,000 pardons.

[laRubiaBonita]

Originally posted by amerikajin

first you shoot down dinner for drinks, then you let him go further than you might usually....... umm, yeah that sounds a bit trashy, like you are out for liquor and sex.

 

I don't agree with this at all. I think that an American guy living in Australia should know that things aren't going to be the same as back home, and for all of my fellow yanks reading out there, know that not everyone goes out for a candle light dinner on the first date. In many cultures, it starts off with just a drink or two at a bar or something even more low key like a "hobby date" (i.e. some kind of activity). To be honest, I actually think that the Aussie way of doing things is a bit more real, more honest, less full of s*** than the American way - and I say that as a damn proud, flag-waving, anthem-singing American.

i wasnot inferrng a candle-lit romance-fest, but something nice. anyways, Just cause he is in austrailia does not mean he knows anything about differnt cultures.

Cultural tolerance and flexabilty work BOTH ways.

Originally posted by amerikajin

maybe the next date, go out to dinner, no drinks, kisses- that is it.

 

Nah, do what feels natural to you, Aussie girl. I mean, what's he going to do, date an American girl? He's in Oz, so he's gotta play by Aussie rules. If he can't, he ain't worth a f*ck.

she said, she went further than He was comfortable with. Maybe he is a respectable guy, with "good american values" If Aussie-Girl here, likes HIM too, maybe she should look into how american culture works, and even explain the differences that she noticed to him....at least you would not get terribly bored at dinner!

Originally posted by amerikajin

and a lot of people are more reserved in front of co-workers than there friends..... that just shows some professionalism.

 

Okay, I totally agree with this - and this is the one thing that's going to be difficult for him to shake. American men are very conscious of themselves in business situations and we are trained to try to keep work separate from our social lives. I think that's why Americans don't always go along so well with dating around the work place, even though a lot of us end up doing it.

 

 

And, again we are Just generalizing here....not all american men are like this ONE individual guy.