newmoon Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 i'm a yeller - not out in public, but during a private fight - i YELL. i am one of those aggressive fighters. i am combative by nature and it's just my communication style. most of the people in my life are not yellers, so the fights end up with me yelling a lot and them either not responding, walking away, or yelling back until they are tired of it. perhaps i am wrong, but at least once my fighting/yelling is over, it's over, done, finished. whereas with the "quiet" "let's talk it out calmly" folks the fight can extend for hours. i'd rather yell and be done then sit and talk or be reasonable for hours. yelling is like a few minutes, talking it out takes forever. my best relationships have been with other aggressive/yelling types, the quiet types don't like it and it's been the reason for some break-ups (communication styles being very different). yellers belong with one another :-) Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 In the concept of "yelling", it can be used to alert during disaster, harm or attention to the event. (Yelling for your favorite sports team!). So yes there are times where it can be beneficial to the circumstance. Never understood yelling at a concert. The primary thought process here seems to be on inter-personal relation style of communicating. Raised voices to command the floor so to speak. Not a fan of it, as a stern tone can be brief and concise without the rantings of a diatribe of profanity or discourse. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 Which side are you on? I grew up with yelling and married yelling, and I will never tolerate another moment of it again. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 I'm not a fan of it. Too many people use it as a tool to control or wear down the other person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 i'm a yeller - not out in public, but during a private fight - i YELL. i am one of those aggressive fighters. i am combative by nature and it's just my communication style. most of the people in my life are not yellers, so the fights end up with me yelling a lot and them either not responding, walking away, or yelling back until they are tired of it. perhaps i am wrong, but at least once my fighting/yelling is over, it's over, done, finished. whereas with the "quiet" "let's talk it out calmly" folks the fight can extend for hours. i'd rather yell and be done then sit and talk or be reasonable for hours. yelling is like a few minutes, talking it out takes forever. my best relationships have been with other aggressive/yelling types, the quiet types don't like it and it's been the reason for some break-ups (communication styles being very different). yellers belong with one another :-) Yelling's never really a good tactic for a real fight unless you're trying to bluff or 'woof.' But those people don't actually want real fights. (Well the woofers do but that's another story.) Watch out for the silent and calm person bc they're the ones who'll eff you up before you know what hit you. I realize you're probably not talking about real fights so sorry for the tangent. Just sayin.' Link to post Share on other sites
justconfused25 Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 To me, it's not a matter of should you do or not do "x". This is because in an ideal relationship, it is obvious that there "shouldn't" be yelling or cursing. The real question is why? You have to really know your partner, the reasons why they do things that may seemingly cross the line and see if it is acceptable for you. Are they yelling because of past grown frustrations, personality, social upbringing or a lack of respect? I say this because at the end of the day, even if you deem yelling not okay, they will probably still yell somewhere down the line because of their tendencies. So instead, you find the root source of their behaviour and either try and help them fix it or you deem it as unacceptable and simply incompatible. This applies scenarios more than just yelling whether its "should x be partying, not picking up my phone calls, etc". Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 (edited) I have some problems with yelling. I've cut back on it a lot. What's the point. If someone isn't listening to begin with, yelling won't help. Just say "F-- it" and walk away at that point. Why waste energy on someone who doesn't care. I do have a very good "angry voice" that doesn't involve raising my voice at all. Thankfully I don't need to use it often, but when I do, people don't mess with me ever again afterwards. Sometimes couples will yell. It shouldn't be all the time obviously or there is a problem. Edited June 2, 2015 by SpiralOut Link to post Share on other sites
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