My finances ex girlfriend will not stop the texts!!

[Happimom12]

I ve been dating my fiancé for two years and I ve known him since we were kids. During this two years his ex from three or four years ago, has sent a few pics of them when they were together or pics of certain memorable events to him. She s made innappropriate comments on Facebook and for awhile I tolerated it because he said they were friends and she lives in another state, so I just kind of blew it off! But right after posting our engagement pics and of course making our announcement on Facebook of the engagement she texted him more pics of certain things that were special to them! Saying that those were great times! I told him a month ago I felt uncomfortable with the fact that she keeps sending innappropriate messages etc, and he said he understood, but I don t think he s said anything to her . I m not jealous but I think as a mature 40 yr old woman she should have a little more respect. So my question is, is it a valid thing to ask for him to unfriend her and stop contact, since she clearly can t control herself? He has a lot of exes as friends on Facebook which many are married now and so forth, but this one just keeps pushing boundaries that I think are off limits!!

[d0nnivain]

Has he asked her to stop? If he has not he should. If he doesn't want to ask her to stop, you need to think long & hard about whether you want to marry him. If he won't ask her to stop, after you requested that he do so, and you can't be married to him while she remains in his life & posts & texts etc. then break up.

[Mr. Lucky]

If he won't ask her to stop, after you requested that he do so, and you can't be married to him while she remains in his life & posts & texts etc. then break up.

 

Exactly. Your thread should be titled:

 

My fiance will not stop receiving ex- girlfriend's texts!!

 

Your problem is not with her...

 

Mr. Lucky

[writergal]

I told him a month ago I felt uncomfortable with the fact that she keeps sending innappropriate messages etc, and he said he understood, but I don t think he s said anything to her .

 

I m not jealous but I think as a mature 40 yr old woman she should have a little more respect. So my question is, is it a valid thing to ask for him to unfriend her and stop contact, since she clearly can t control herself?

 

He has a lot of exes as friends on Facebook which many are married now and so forth, but this one just keeps pushing boundaries that I think are off limits!!

 

Inappropriate text messages? She's 40 and she sends him sex-texts despite the fact that he's engaged to you? Wow, she has a serious boundary problem doesn't she.

 

So you told him that her behavior bothers you and he dismissed it as no-big-deal because he keeps his exes as friends and on FB?

 

I think her boundary breech with your fiance is because she still has feelings for him and doesn't care about the fact that he's engaged to you.

 

I would definitely post-pone the wedding. It's her or you. Ultimatum time.

[MM1234]

OP, you have a fiance problem not an ex-GF problem. Your fiance should've told her from the get go that her text messages are not only inappropriate but also un-wanted. Until he makes that message clear to her, those text messages won't stop.

[writergal]

OP, you have a fiance problem not an ex-GF problem. Your fiance should've told her from the get go that her text messages are not only inappropriate but also un-wanted. Until he makes that message clear to her, those text messages won't stop.

 

I agree with you that until the OP puts her foot down (again because she already talked to her fiance about this but he's clearly ignored her concern) with her fiance, because her fiance has to to tell his ex-girlfriend to stop texting him.

 

But I do think the OP's problem is both her fiance and his ex-girlfriend. They are both exchanging sexy-texts which is totally inappropriate. Frankly, I don't think the fiance respects the OP which is why I suggested that she post-pone the wedding until her fiance decides which woman he wants in his life -- his ex or the OP. He can't have his cake and eat it too.

[aloneinaz]

I'm a guy and clearly agree with you. This should be a RED flag to you and it's terrible that he doesn't get it. She's no peach either as she clearly knows you two are engaged but she keeps texting him.

 

 

It appears that you need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with him. It's not about you being jealous, it's about him not understanding how inappropriate his actions are. How would he like it if your ex was doing that to you? I'm sure he'd blow a gasket..

[writergal]

I'm a guy and clearly agree with you. This should be a RED flag to you and it's terrible that he doesn't get it. She's no peach either as she clearly knows you two are engaged but she keeps texting him.

 

 

It appears that you need to have a "come to Jesus" meeting with him. It's not about you being jealous, it's about him not understanding how inappropriate his actions are. How would he like it if your ex was doing that to you? I'm sure he'd blow a gasket..

 

Right on aloneinaz! And if the "come to Jesus" meeting doesn't convince him that what he's doing is inappropriate OP, then you need to think long and hard about your future with your fiance.

 

Ask yourself: do you really want to marry a man who I think must be pretty arrogant to dismiss your feelings about the way he's choosing to interact with his ex via text messaging. Huge red flag. Huge.

[Brigit]

Inappropriate text messages? She's 40 and she sends him sex-texts despite the fact that he's engaged to you? Wow, she has a serious boundary problem doesn't she.

 

I think her boundary breech with your fiance is because she still has feelings for him and doesn't care about the fact that he's engaged to you.

 

 

That is correct a 40 year old woman wouldn't send sex messages to a man she doesn't want to be with. I have no idea if this woman actually wants to have sex with your fiancé she might be using sex to get him excited so he'll keep contacting her. She wants him in some way shape or form that isn't healthy. You'll need to decide if you want to be with a man who'll accept sexy messages from other females.

[Trishern]

I ve been dating my fiancé for two years and I ve known him since we were kids. During this two years his ex from three or four years ago, has sent a few pics of them when they were together or pics of certain memorable events to him. She s made innappropriate comments on Facebook and for awhile I tolerated it because he said they were friends and she lives in another state, so I just kind of blew it off! But right after posting our engagement pics and of course making our announcement on Facebook of the engagement she texted him more pics of certain things that were special to them! Saying that those were great times! I told him a month ago I felt uncomfortable with the fact that she keeps sending innappropriate messages etc, and he said he understood, but I don t think he s said anything to her . I m not jealous but I think as a mature 40 yr old woman she should have a little more respect. So my question is, is it a valid thing to ask for him to unfriend her and stop contact, since she clearly can t control herself? He has a lot of exes as friends on Facebook which many are married now and so forth, but this one just keeps pushing boundaries that I think are off limits!!

 

 

If she has sent messages since your conversation with him, then I'd say you can ask him to block and unfriend her.

 

 

I was very uncomfortable with my H's contact with an Ex and he eventually contacted her and explained how I felt and that there should be no more contact between them.

 

 

Indeed your fiancés ex should have more respect and I get disappointed that women do this kind of crap, but he needs to tell her to stop, as he's with someone and is engaged now. Their relationship is over.

 

 

He needs to understand your feeling on this and your feelings should be more important to him than hers.

 

 

Mrs. Trishern