ZiggyZoo Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Just wanted to say that deciding what to do with this pregnancy isn't an easy choice AT ALL, and if you decide to abort, you have my support. Not that your decision depends on what I think at all, but I wanted to be one more voice on that side of the equation, if its what you decide to do. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunshine8703 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. In my decision I'm honestly only thinking about the baby. If I felt I would have to deal with these people my while life and my child would be fine and loved and have a normal life... I would deal with them in a second. I just don't feel my child will have any normalcy right from the get go. I feel like from the get go they would be arguing custody and what kind of life is that for a child? They are such horrible people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunshine8703 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 I'm not quite sure how I will ever get over all of this..... Link to post Share on other sites
Tiger Lily Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 OP, if it's OK, you are in my prayers. Your situation sounds horrible. I hope you can find a support group; a local church may be able to offer you a women's group. Personally, I think you should really talk to someone before you decide to abort. You may see the benefits, but there would also be many consequences to choosing that path. Either way, you will face challenges, but you seem like a very strong woman who is able to overcome a lot. If you choose to raise your child, I have a feeling that you would know how to best protect and provide for that child. Link to post Share on other sites
Radu Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 You are correct, I am in the US... NYS which is very much a "mother state" however like you said these are different types of people. I know they will go to extremes to find things out. Especially since my family has blocked them. I'm just a mess.... I feel so alone (even though my parents are being beyond supportive). I'm literally sick about all of this. It's hard to believe less than two weeks ago it was just another Saturday for him and I. I do feel abortion is the right thing to do.... I would always fear disfunction I'm my child's life or even more that they would kidnap them. It was interesting the other day his mother kept saying to my mom "I don't want my son to be perceived negatively" ... Then maybe your son should man up. Since it is normal that they will bash me to whoever will listen I can only imagine.... I just don't understand how this is happening.... I'm not the one who left and when I last spoke to him I begged him to go to one counciling session and of t didn't get us anywhere we could Atleast look our child in the face and tell them we tried. He said absolutely not. Tonight he will be at the strip club with his buddies for a bachelor party... I'm sure the bashing of me will commence. That is your thought process and the thought process of a normal human. Her thought process will be 'i'll make damn sure my son is perceived well, so i'll need to be proactive with this and get the first story out'. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 I'm not quite sure how I will ever get over all of this..... You'll get over it. You'll have trouble with future relationships because no other man will want that families drama. They'll make your life hell and you won't be able to do anything about it because of the child 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunshine8703 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Today was a rough day... Kept thinking of our life we had together... Our "weekend routine". How do I miss someone who was so horrible to me?? One day at a time... Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 How do I miss someone who was so horrible to me?? One day at a time... You miss the good moments, plus love is also a chemical thing (oxitocin and the like). These two things are actually why abused people often return to an abuser, as the promise of a good moment seems worth all the bad. Your doing great! Link to post Share on other sites
bluegreen Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 He wants to run to his mommy U Let her keep him Your parents seem like good sensible folks you are not alone we are here to. Adoption? You could do something of a miracle for other people Including your baby why not at least think of it? Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Adoption? You could do something of a miracle for other people Including your baby why not at least think of it? From everything Sunshine has written, these people would fight for custody and make this child's life (and Sunshine's) a living hell.... Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I can make one parallel between your situation and mine. We are intelligent, successful people that are letting our bat **** significant others drag them into their bat **** world and turn us crazy ourselves. You're doing what you're doing because of your emotions, not because of logic. I did the same lately. He will be a terrible father. Can you imagine the kid doing something wrong and him not being able to handle it and disappearing for 4 days only to have grandma come over and bitch at his mom? It's a tough decision for sure, I know abortions can be incredibly emotionally draining on a person and the decision is solely yours, but I'm sure a part of you yearns for a life free of all of this. You've only been together a year and he's made you miserable for at least half of it. The other option is to raise that baby with the help of your mom, I'm sure the child will bring you great joy (along with great stress), but you must somehow eliminate this man from your life. He will be toxic to you, your family and your unborn child. He will essentially ruin all of your lives by keeping you in the same perpetual state of emotional instability he is in. You could try enrolling him and his mother in therapy, but it seems unlikely they'd do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunshine8703 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Adoption was very much brought up at the attorney's office last week. Unfortunately they are most likely going to file paperwork that I legally need to tell them when the baby is born. There would be no way for me to give up the baby without his consent (when) they do this. At one point I even told my parents I was going to "run away" to a different state, give birth and give the baby up for adoption. Legally, it is not an option. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sunshine8703 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 That is actually how our HUGE argument started on Friday... I scheduled a counciling appointment for today. Mommy dearest must've advised him to tell me "if it is not to co parent and your are tricking me to talk about us I will leave"... I of course said I'm sure we will be discussing us as she will want to get our issue discussed so we can move forward TO co parent. Wanted no part in that. Now any communication between any of us will solely be between attorneys. I feel like I have thought of every possible outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Then you have 2 choices: Keep, and brace yourself for 18 more years of this crap, with very probably a damaged and dysfunctional child in your care - Termination. In your shoes, I know which I would opt for, and to be honest, morally, it may actually be the better option, because there's nothing remotely 'moral' about your child's probable experience in upbringing... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Catwalk87 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I'm sure many will judge but I had the abortion today. I believe I will have a broken heart the rest of my life. I feel nothing but anger and pure hatred towards him. I'm praying for peace as my stuff is moved out and the abortion is complete that I can now start to remotely puzzle my life back together... However I am certain it will never be the same again. Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I'm sure many will judge but I had the abortion today. I believe I will have a broken heart the rest of my life. I feel nothing but anger and pure hatred towards him. I'm praying for peace as my stuff is moved out and the abortion is complete that I can now start to remotely puzzle my life back together... However I am certain it will never be the same again. Uh, did you just out yourself? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I'm sure many will judge but I had the abortion today. I believe I will have a broken heart the rest of my life. I feel nothing but anger and pure hatred towards him. I'm praying for peace as my stuff is moved out and the abortion is complete that I can now start to remotely puzzle my life back together... However I am certain it will never be the same again. You are mourning and your body is transitioning. Try to give yourself lots of love the coming time. Link to post Share on other sites
ZiggyZoo Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I'm sure many will judge but I had the abortion today. I believe I will have a broken heart the rest of my life. I feel nothing but anger and pure hatred towards him. I'm praying for peace as my stuff is moved out and the abortion is complete that I can now start to remotely puzzle my life back together... However I am certain it will never be the same again. I'm really confused...I don't see anywhere where you referenced being pregnant....? Aren't you the one who e-mailed your ex after nine months or whatever? I just don't know how it ties in to this. it just seems like it would've been better off posted in YOUR thread, so we could better help advise, given pertinent background information. Link to post Share on other sites
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