Caught me off guard

[Popsicle]

He is definitely confused, but he probably won't ever be not confused.

 

I did remark though,"am i your source of entertainment?"

 

And what did he say?

[m4p]

He is definitely confused, but he probably won't ever be not confused.

 

 

 

And what did he say?

 

He protested that I am not and never was. Wished I ask him what exactly does he want.

[Lois_Griffin]

You're placing FAR too much importance on the words of a selfish cheating liar.

 

And when you pull away all the sugary-sweet layers of the bull**** he used to feed you during your affair, that's what you're left with.

 

He wanted his wife and family enough to sell you right down the river on D-Day - and trust me, he did. He no doubt painted you to be some kind of stalking, manipulative black widow spider who managed to lure him into your web. One needs ONLY to read the infidelity boards to see the ridiculous stories these liars tell their wives on D-Day when it's their number ONE priority to save their own asses and try to paint themselves as innocent as possible.

 

He wanted them enough to proclaim his undying love for them and promised he'd never contact you again, and for 3 whole months that's what he did. Now that the dust is settling at home and things are probably getting back to a new normal for them, once again the liar can't even keep one lousy promise. After diminishing you and agreeing to throw you away like yesterday's garbage when it came down to pledging his allegiance to his wife, he thinks you're supposed to be flattered that he called you? Seriously?

 

This guy is a real piece of work and has no integrity at all. At ALL.

 

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. I think you're well on your way to believing it. Good for you.

[Lois_Griffin]

Wished I ask him what exactly does he want.

He's had more than enough of what HE wants. Who cares what he wants?

[LovelyBrown]

He doesn't know and he will never know anymore that I shed tears for him. What a waste of my tears and energy but I just couldn't help it. Thank you! (and I get the whole crying out of sheer sadness thing) *hugs*

 

Good for you!

[LovelyBrown]

You're placing FAR too much importance on the words of a selfish cheating liar.

 

And when you pull away all the sugary-sweet layers of the bull**** he used to feed you during your affair, that's what you're left with.

 

He wanted his wife and family enough to sell you right down the river on D-Day - and trust me, he did. He no doubt painted you to be some kind of stalking, manipulative black widow spider who managed to lure him into your web. One needs ONLY to read the infidelity boards to see the ridiculous stories these liars tell their wives on D-Day when it's their number ONE priority to save their own asses and try to paint themselves as innocent as possible.

 

He wanted them enough to proclaim his undying love for them and promised he'd never contact you again, and for 3 whole months that's what he did. Now that the dust is settling at home and things are probably getting back to a new normal for them, once again the liar can't even keep one lousy promise. After diminishing you and agreeing to throw you away like yesterday's garbage when it came down to pledging his allegiance to his wife, he thinks you're supposed to be flattered that he called you? Seriously?

 

This guy is a real piece of work and has no integrity at all. At ALL.

 

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. I think you're well on your way to believing it. Good for you.

 

OMG!!! So much this^^!!! I'm sure MOM's wife thinks I'm an evil witch that almost got him to cheat! I can 100% guarantee you their wives have NO idea they've contacted us to be friends and make things "right". What a bunch of jack@sses!! UGH!

[Popsicle]

OMG!!! So much this^^!!! I'm sure MOM's wife thinks I'm an evil witch that almost got him to cheat! I can 100% guarantee you their wives have NO idea they've contacted us to be friends and make things "right". What a bunch of jack@sses!! UGH!

 

So just don't be "friends" with him.

 

I am thankful that I was never friends with xMM so I don't feel obligated to do that, nor did I have any "friendship" with him to miss. He tried to though.

[LovelyBrown]

So just don't be "friends" with him.

 

I am thankful that I was never friends with xMM so I don't feel obligated to do that, nor did I have any "friendship" with him to miss. He tried to though.

 

I don't plan on being friends, unfortunately I don't think I made that clear to him last time we spoke, since I was so shocked! But, I've decided that saying nothing at all And going NC again will probably be most effective. I wish I had said something to him like what M4p said.

[C2681]

Hello and welcome!

 

As you can see I had been wallowing happily for the past few months and am actually starting to heal- but he just had to do this.

 

We used to work together too until he changed jobs half a year ago. I simply cannot imagine working with xAP. Having everything ended but still needing to put up a false front and pretend that you didn't know him intimately. You know how things change the moment you touched each other? It leaves a mark on you and things will never be the same again.

 

I loathe to know that you have been doing this for the past 8 months. sheesh! Was there a D-Day? Is there a way to switch team/change jobs? You have to get out of his presence or else you'll never heal.. Either that or you'll have to wait for the stage of indifference which might take a looooooong while or maybe never.

 

Sending you lots of hugs and stay strong!!

 

Yep there was, and I knew something was off that morning when I didn't receive a text. W went through his phone, he texted me late morning; he was trying to save his marriage. Asked me to apologize to her otherwise she was going to call my husband (our families had become friends). Messy yes and do I wish this on anyone - NEVER. I have applied to other departments just no luck yet - we have a special skill set that doesn't have a lot of job opportunities within the organization. We talked a little bit a couple months ago, he asked me if I was happy and apologized to me. Told him I was working on my marriage, and he swallowed hard and closed his eyes, but told me he was happy for me. Since seeing his face do that it has made it even harder to stay away, my BFF (only person I could go to besides him - we were BFFs before it turned) says I need to leave my job too... Hopefully I can find something soon.

 

Stay strong - I also think he's fishing. He obviously wants to see if you feel something for him, be it hopeful for him in the least. He chose to go back to his wife, and he doesn't get to make you yearn for him whenever he wants. He's being selfish and shows that he doesn't care about you really, he cares more about himself by phoning you (also he couldn't even keep a promise to his W - doubt she wants you around him and doesn't know xMM called). Just remember you will find peace eventually - hugs to you as well!

[Popsicle]

I don't plan on being friends, unfortunately I don't think I made that clear to him last time we spoke, since I was so shocked! But, I've decided that saying nothing at all And going NC again will probably be most effective. I wish I had said something to him like what M4p said.

 

Your silence will work as well.

[Popsicle]

He protested that I am not and never was.

 

And by this I presume he is suggesting that he is serious about you? Haha what a joke!!

[mysterywoman]

You're placing FAR too much importance on the words of a selfish cheating liar.

 

And when you pull away all the sugary-sweet layers of the bull**** he used to feed you during your affair, that's what you're left with.

 

He wanted his wife and family enough to sell you right down the river on D-Day - and trust me, he did. He no doubt painted you to be some kind of stalking, manipulative black widow spider who managed to lure him into your web. One needs ONLY to read the infidelity boards to see the ridiculous stories these liars tell their wives on D-Day when it's their number ONE priority to save their own asses and try to paint themselves as innocent as possible.

 

He wanted them enough to proclaim his undying love for them and promised he'd never contact you again, and for 3 whole months that's what he did. Now that the dust is settling at home and things are probably getting back to a new normal for them, once again the liar can't even keep one lousy promise. After diminishing you and agreeing to throw you away like yesterday's garbage when it came down to pledging his allegiance to his wife, he thinks you're supposed to be flattered that he called you? Seriously?

 

This guy is a real piece of work and has no integrity at all. At ALL.

 

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. I think you're well on your way to believing it. Good for you.

 

Yes I can relate to those things you said!!

[m4p]

You're placing FAR too much importance on the words of a selfish cheating liar.

 

And when you pull away all the sugary-sweet layers of the bull**** he used to feed you during your affair, that's what you're left with.

 

He wanted his wife and family enough to sell you right down the river on D-Day - and trust me, he did. He no doubt painted you to be some kind of stalking, manipulative black widow spider who managed to lure him into your web. One needs ONLY to read the infidelity boards to see the ridiculous stories these liars tell their wives on D-Day when it's their number ONE priority to save their own asses and try to paint themselves as innocent as possible.

 

He wanted them enough to proclaim his undying love for them and promised he'd never contact you again, and for 3 whole months that's what he did. Now that the dust is settling at home and things are probably getting back to a new normal for them, once again the liar can't even keep one lousy promise. After diminishing you and agreeing to throw you away like yesterday's garbage when it came down to pledging his allegiance to his wife, he thinks you're supposed to be flattered that he called you? Seriously?

 

This guy is a real piece of work and has no integrity at all. At ALL.

 

When someone shows you who they really are, believe them. I think you're well on your way to believing it. Good for you.

 

 

I can easily imagine that actually.... never thought of going there because it brings me lots of anguish, but now with a clearer mind I totally know what he has been telling her.. "It's nothing! She's nothing to me!! You know you are the one that I love!!".. etc.

 

He had the nerve to tell me that he had to do the right thing to be fair for her.... it's all about making himself feel better. I was supportive during D-day because I never wanted him to leave her and have a broken marriage.

 

But I would have expected a little more consideration for ME. Everybody is right. He is a selfish liar.

 

So much for integrity and "doing the right thing". Obviously she doesn't even know he called me.

 

I am definitely on my way to believing it.

 

I used to measure the A by whether the "good outweighs the bad" scale... even in NC, it was almost balanced. Him leaving me alone to me was "respecting my wish to heal"... now it's just BAD BAD BAD vs those fading good memories.

 

Everybody is right. Time heals and opens up our eyes. I have zero inclination to be in contact with him again. It just makes me sick, this whole thing.

 

Thanks again.

[m4p]

Your silence will work as well.

 

And by this I presume he is suggesting that he is serious about you? Haha what a joke!!

 

Popsicle.. I am never turning back anymore. This sealed the deal for me.

 

When he called, the first thing he mentioned was that he just came back from a 1 week overseas trip. I asked "how was it" (referring to the trip) and his first answer was "It was good.. yeah.. we managed to work things out.."

 

Look at how it is all about him and his W? I think I had been too kind and supportive to make him think that he can do this.

 

He probably thought that I am a strong and logical person, perhaps from the way I had been portraying myself in front of him. Granted, few months back I told him that I hoped he manages to work things out with his W. Then it was to be a painful NC where I want to heal.

 

I have no idea why he thinks I am receptive to hearing all these? Am I fking made of stone?!!!!

 

All the drama was probably in my head, but, seriously?!!

 

I am so done. It hurts but I will get there. It will be NC from now on. I have blocked his "new number" and I do not want to hear from him ever again.

 

Sigh.

[m4p]

I don't plan on being friends, unfortunately I don't think I made that clear to him last time we spoke, since I was so shocked! But, I've decided that saying nothing at all And going NC again will probably be most effective. I wish I had said something to him like what M4p said.

 

Babe, don't look back anymore. Don't wish that you had the last word or had the opportunity to say something vindictive... I too had thoughts like this. But prolonged communication just makes things so much worse off than before.

 

They can't make up their mind about what they want. How greedy and selfish is that?

 

Let's move on and look forward to a happier and much more fulfilling life.

[m4p]

Yep there was, and I knew something was off that morning when I didn't receive a text. W went through his phone, he texted me late morning; he was trying to save his marriage. Asked me to apologize to her otherwise she was going to call my husband (our families had become friends). Messy yes and do I wish this on anyone - NEVER. I have applied to other departments just no luck yet - we have a special skill set that doesn't have a lot of job opportunities within the organization. We talked a little bit a couple months ago, he asked me if I was happy and apologized to me. Told him I was working on my marriage, and he swallowed hard and closed his eyes, but told me he was happy for me. Since seeing his face do that it has made it even harder to stay away, my BFF (only person I could go to besides him - we were BFFs before it turned) says I need to leave my job too... Hopefully I can find something soon.

 

Stay strong - I also think he's fishing. He obviously wants to see if you feel something for him, be it hopeful for him in the least. He chose to go back to his wife, and he doesn't get to make you yearn for him whenever he wants. He's being selfish and shows that he doesn't care about you really, he cares more about himself by phoning you (also he couldn't even keep a promise to his W - doubt she wants you around him and doesn't know xMM called). Just remember you will find peace eventually - hugs to you as well!

 

God.. so many parallels... you will totally understand the devastating whirlwind of feelings when D-Day happened.

 

It was the same for me. I received his last happy text that he was heading out for dinner with family. Midnight came and I did not receive any good night text for the first time. Believe it or not, he had NEVER missed a single good night text to me for the entire duration of the 2 years A. Same as you I knew something was off. That uneasiness and fear? you are right i will never wish this to my worst enemy.

 

It is laughable to think that we had deluded ourselves into some sort of routine like it was normal.

 

I got a rambling text from him in the middle of the night telling me something happened at home and asking me not to worry but he will update me. Next few days were a horrible mess of him being kicked out, calls to me asking me not to worry and finally: him "will have to do the right thing and to do the right thing we cannot do what we used to do anymore"......"this is not goodbye this is just a time out"..... "I am sorry but I cannot do this with you anymore".....

 

what a mess.

 

I really hope that you can find peace too... and not have any hope for xmm. seeing him makes things 100X harder. I wish you strength to move on and be happy without him..

[LovelyBrown]

Babe, don't look back anymore. Don't wish that you had the last word or had the opportunity to say something vindictive... I too had thoughts like this. But prolonged communication just makes things so much worse off than before.

 

They can't make up their mind about what they want. How greedy and selfish is that?

 

Let's move on and look forward to a happier and much more fulfilling life.

 

Moving on sounds like such a great thing! I take it one day at a time. thank you.