Author Jonp219 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 It is not that I do not understand what you write, unfortunately you are drawing the wrong conclusions, but I get it as you are an investigating and somewhat romantic mind. Jon, there is one constant that I have discovered to describe life and that is 'change'. Nothing is static. We have to work with what is given us at every moment. Just because some things end, it does not mean that things weren't beautiful. As I get older (I am not that old) I get better at seeing the beauty in little things: a smile, a great taste (food or a good wine), sunshine, a beautiful sunset, an evening with friends, pets that want to cuddle. It are those things that make life worth. You can find the worth in the moment and in your memories: even if things have ended, you still have the memories. As for the girls, girls mature to women and we can't be lovers to everyone. Memories don't mean a thing to me unless I'm still with that person. I don't care what me and her shared. If she's not with me she could be dead for all I care. I see NO beauty in what we had, unless she comes back. Some of the things you mentioned are beautiful, but they're just distractions to me. I still have to face myself later in night and early in the morning. SOME change is good. Like getting a promotion or getting engaged, but break ups? **** that. That's not good change, that's death waiting to happen. I'm glad you found your way. But I just want to stay the way I am. It gives me a reason not to try anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Memories don't mean a thing to me unless I'm still with that person. I don't care what me and her shared. If she's not with me she could be dead for all I care. I see NO beauty in what we had, unless she comes back. Some of the things you mentioned are beautiful, but they're just distractions to me. I still have to face myself later in night and early in the morning. SOME change is good. Like getting a promotion or getting engaged, but break ups? **** that. That's not good change, that's death waiting to happen. I'm glad you found your way. But I just want to stay the way I am. It gives me a reason not to try anymore. Oh, I am not there yet ... It sounds like you have some serious repressed anger. I hope you will work on that for yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 Oh, I am not there yet ... It sounds like you have some serious repressed anger. I hope you will work on that for yourself. Just like when people tell me, "You need to work on yourself so you can get your confidence back". Yeah, I can't get something back that I never had. I dontceven take drugs or drink often, meaning I'm ****ed up all on my own. Link to post Share on other sites
Itspointless Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Just like when people tell me, "You need to work on yourself so you can get your confidence back". Yeah, I can't get something back that I never had. I dontceven take drugs or drink often, meaning I'm ****ed up all on my own. Dude ... OK, I get it. I do not know if you are spoiled or neglected, your scream for attention is heard: here at least. Its your life, take control. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 Dude ... OK, I get it. I do not know if you are spoiled or neglected, your scream for attention is heard: here at least. Its your life, take control. Easier said than done Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I really don't think Jon needs the guru pep talk stuff .... Maybe you'd prefer to be told what a POS you are? I can do that if you think it'll help. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) I really don't think Jon needs the guru pep talk stuff .... Maybe you'd prefer to be told what a POS you are? I can do that if you think it'll help. I'm sure you're a busy women Jen. I wouldn't want you to do something I'm already doing myself...lol Edited June 4, 2015 by Jonp219 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Nah, I can usually find time to berate people during work hours. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 Nah, I can usually find time to berate people during work hours. Aww, with LS friends like that who needs exes lol Link to post Share on other sites
RogerWallace111 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 I can relate to some aspects of what you're feeling. Blaming yourself for the demise, seeing her flaws as negligable in hindsight. The fixation on her being a rare girl. Realistically, it might be very difficult for you to find someone for whom you'll have the same feelings. I feel that way at this point. But evidence tends to point towards a reality that most people who allow it to happen and put in some effort eventually end up finding a new partner(s) more suitable than their former(s). So, as completely inescapable as this gut-feeling I have that I will never find someone with whom I connect to like I did her is, I know in my brain that typically, things do not go as such on this planet. Again, that's not to say my heart and stomach aren't in a vice grip and I'm not currently convinced otherwise. And my mind finds ways to reinforce that- an ex of hers who I know considers her the ultimate "one who got away", the jealousy/admiration I got from so many people, her insight & ability to make me laugh, her unique racial background and the beauty it resulted in. Everything points to her being extremely rare. And I will probably cling to the hope of reuniting until someone else can change that. But, the majority of people on this planet's accounts will illustrate that someone else will, in time. I don't believe it with my heart either, and agreed, they won't if you don't let them. You can make it an impossibility. And I'm not suggesting you force yourself to do otherwise if that's where you're at right now. But maybe, even two years from now, you can dust yourself off and try to get back in the "game". Or at least live your life in a way that someone with whom you'll share a special bond finds their way to you. In the meantime, it's good you've accepted being in the dark space you're in. I haven't. I'm still having minimal contact thanks to the loose ends of our living situation and her dad's being diagnosed with cancer. I'm 800 miles away and my heart is fighting my brain like there's some possibility of things being resolved. Feel like I can't go on yet the only way I will is by forcing myself to be extremely proactive towards the achievement of the sh*t I put off while in the relationship. Anyway. Sorry for dropping my own situation in. Just wanted to share as someone else who's whole being is telling them their ex is untoppable. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jonp219 Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 I can relate to some aspects of what you're feeling. Blaming yourself for the demise, seeing her flaws as negligable in hindsight. The fixation on her being a rare girl. Realistically, it might be very difficult for you to find someone for whom you'll have the same feelings. I feel that way at this point. But evidence tends to point towards a reality that most people who allow it to happen and put in some effort eventually end up finding a new partner(s) more suitable than their former(s). So, as completely inescapable as this gut-feeling I have that I will never find someone with whom I connect to like I did her is, I know in my brain that typically, things do not go as such on this planet. Again, that's not to say my heart and stomach aren't in a vice grip and I'm not currently convinced otherwise. And my mind finds ways to reinforce that- an ex of hers who I know considers her the ultimate "one who got away", the jealousy/admiration I got from so many people, her insight & ability to make me laugh, her unique racial background and the beauty it resulted in. Everything points to her being extremely rare. And I will probably cling to the hope of reuniting until someone else can change that. But, the majority of people on this planet's accounts will illustrate that someone else will, in time. I don't believe it with my heart either, and agreed, they won't if you don't let them. You can make it an impossibility. And I'm not suggesting you force yourself to do otherwise if that's where you're at right now. But maybe, even two years from now, you can dust yourself off and try to get back in the "game". Or at least live your life in a way that someone with whom you'll share a special bond finds their way to you. In the meantime, it's good you've accepted being in the dark space you're in. I haven't. I'm still having minimal contact thanks to the loose ends of our living situation and her dad's being diagnosed with cancer. I'm 800 miles away and my heart is fighting my brain like there's some possibility of things being resolved. Feel like I can't go on yet the only way I will is by forcing myself to be extremely proactive towards the achievement of the sh*t I put off while in the relationship. Anyway. Sorry for dropping my own situation in. Just wanted to share as someone else who's whole being is telling them their ex is untoppable. Don't be sorry, I'm open to different perspectives. I've accepted this dark place two weeks after my break-up, I immediately knew I was going to fall into this state. No way I can imagine myself without her, the pain is insurmountable. There's something I've always wondered, if there are so many men and women in my situation why can't these people make their way towards each other? Are we scared to get back out there? Are we becoming less compatible? I just don't understand life sometimes. You're sitatuion is very tricky and I wish you the best. I hope you can cut contact with her soon so you can give yourself some time to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts