Guy is too shy to make a move on me and I am shy too

[firefly1]

I think geeky shy guy (40y) likes me (28y) but hasn't made a move for 2 months

I like this 40 year old guy and I think he likes me too (but unsure). I am 28 years old and only ever had one boyfriend in my life for 6 years. He is single, never married, no children and as far as I can tell been single all or most of his life. He says he is a bit geeky, he likes manga and video games. He doesn't have a lot of friends in the city. He went to Harvard and is pretty smart. I am also well educated (I'm a doctor) and if I can say it myself quite attractive (I've been a model before) and get many offers from guys for dates. The other guys who hit on me are nothing like this guy however which totally confuses me!! The other ones are very straightforward about being attracted to me and will touch me and chat me up.

 

We met 2 months ago at a party and since then been seeing each other once every weekend. There was instant chemistry between us and we have been out for dinner and drinks casually and chatted for about 6 hours straight. I have invited him to my flat 3 times. He is super enthusiastic about coming over. He texts me every night and we can text each other about random stuff for an hour before bed.

 

At first I was unsure of his interest level in me because he was so shy to make a move on me. He has not really touched me except awkward pats on the hand when he tries to break the touch barrier. We have not held hands and we have never kissed.

 

It was a bit frustrating for me to wonder if he liked me more than a friend or if he was just lonely and saw me as a texting buddy. There were people who said he could be gay!!

 

I decided to initiate an invite again for him at my flat asking if he felt like hanging out. This time I was pretty much seeing him as a friend only. He was again super enthusiastic about coming over and he brought me some chocolates. He came over and I made him lunch and we watched a Disney movie. We then made some cakes together. He tried to squeeze my cheeks once. I asked if he wanted to stay for dinner and he said yes. I made some dinner for us both. He had to rush off for something at 8pm. This time instead of me giving him a hug he initiated the hug. He gave me quite a tight hug but he didn't kiss me. He looked slightly embarrassed as if he wanted to do something but couldn't get himself to do it. He let go and put on his shoes and gave me another tight hug. He still looked a bit awkward and I was a bit shy too, so we just waved.

 

Haha do you think he is just super shy and does like me a lot? What should we do if we are both too shy to initiate a move?

[smackie9]

He likes you. Guys don't invest their time in a girl unless he has a romantic interest.

 

Have some drinks next time to loosen up.

[Davey L]

He likes you. But if you are both that shy it's going to take ages to get there via lots and lots of tiny increments. You'll have to be just a bit bolder yourself but not so much to put him off. Why not initiate a kiss?

 

A bit unusual for a guy at 40 to be so shy.

[Lois_Griffin]

He is single, never married, no children and as far as I can tell been single all or most of his life.

LOL. I already knew he was single, never married and no kids before I even got to the part where you wrote it in your post.

 

Your first line about a 40 year old geeky shy guy said it ALL.

 

Being with him sounds like dealing with a painfully shy and inexperienced teenage boy. Ugh. And I'd be willing to bet he has the same emotional and physical experience level (none) of a shy teenage boy, as well. I don't know any guys who would actually sit through a Disney movie without looking for a light fixture to hang themselves from, so I guess you're off to a good start with him.

 

Well, if you don't mind teaching this emotionally stunted grown man literally everything there is to know about women and relationships, then you've definitely got your work cut out for you.

 

How about you ditch the Disney stuff and break out a bottle of wine and have a more adult type of evening one night soon?

[smackie9]

I agree it's time to act like adults, and get on with it.

[fireflywy]

Make a move. Next time you hug, linger a little while longer, see what happens. Make sure you give him some friendly pats and such. Then at the right moment, if you get close, look at his eyes, then down to his lips and move in.

[ascendotum]

He likes you. But if you are both that shy it's going to take ages to get there via lots and lots of tiny increments. You'll have to be just a bit bolder yourself but not so much to put him off. Why not initiate a kiss?

 

A bit unusual for a guy at 40 to be so shy.

 

I agree on both counts. He's definitely into her but is likely on the shy side plus maybe the age difference is making him hesitate..that he thought a woman that age would not see him seriously as a bf but maybe just as a friend, especially since he has been single for quite a while. He likely has become gun shy plus he could well be used to the 'I see you as more of a friend', 'sorry you're a nice guy but your not my type' type letdowns over the years.

 

Her inviting him to her flat a number of times and to dinner there, to me is a great sign for him that she is keen, but maybe he is waiting for a little more (flirting, talk about sex, touching) from her to know for sure that she sees him as more than just a friend. OP its s sure bet he is into you, so just ramp things up a little with a few drinks the next time you two are together.

[Trimmer]

He came over and I made him lunch and we watched a Disney movie... I asked if he wanted to stay for dinner and he said yes. I made some dinner for us both.

Next time, invite him for dinner, and ask him if he wants to stay for breakfast.