titipornstar Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 yes, and then she dumped me again... double hurt Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Let me tell you two stories, the moral of both being do not take them back if they come back. Ex #1: Started dating my freshmen year in college. First serious girlfriend, dated 2+ years. I was thinking about breaking up with her, she beat me to it. I was devastated. Skipped class, couldn't eat, thought about her nonstop. Don't even remember the reasons for the break-up, but she rebounded right away and lied about it nonstop. After a few weeks of NC, she came crawling back. Sending me texts saying she could picture us having babies together from this other guys house. We got back together, on the night we got back together, she lied again. I was too excited about it so I let it slide. A few months later, I'm miserable, she says she loves me, but acts like she hates me. I look at her phone - bam cheating on me. I say goodbye, walk home in the rain (movie-esque) and never look back. Ex #2 (recent): First off, let me first comment that Ex #2 was 10000x better than Ex#1 that made me so upset. I hope my next gf blows ex #2 out of the water and never becomes an ex. After dating for 4 years (from age 22-26), we started butting heads over everything. Everything I said was wrong and taken the meanest way possible. We stopped being intimate as she was never around and I didn't find her constant rudeness attractive at all. She broke up with me while my dad was passing away, hopped into a rebound with a married man, quit her job, withdrew from friends all while STILL living with me. Oh yeah, and she lied about it all too. After 2 months of living in that hell and her continually convincing me she wasn't seeing anyone, she moved out. Then threatened to take our dog. Once I was finally about to get my keys back, I told her I still cared, she broke down crying, bashed the other guy and said she wanted to think about us. We were supposed to go on a date, but it all fell apart once I found out she was still with this other guy and I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore. After 11 days of NC, she was back, telling me how much she cared, how sorry she was, how she wanted to go on that date. For the next 3 weeks, we had some amazing times together, but she refused to be intimate, only would hold hands/sleep in my bed etc. She'd talk about having babies with me, then she'd say she was all confused and back away. She asked for some space and then I found out she's back with the married guy. She'll prob come back again once he does 1 thing wrong lol Moral of the Story Yes, they do sometimes come back. The way I got both to come back was a period of NC, followed by me very purposefully making a good image of myself and saying and doing things that I knew would make them miss me. That I knew would make them remember what we used to be. It didn't matter though. They stopped loving me, both of them, and they did that before they broke up with me. They came back because I'm a caring successful guy who they both wanted a full blown family with, but the emotions were already gone and disaster ensued, twice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DexterLS Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 Let me tell you two stories, the moral of both being do not take them back if they come back. Ex #1: Started dating my freshmen year in college. First serious girlfriend, dated 2+ years. I was thinking about breaking up with her, she beat me to it. I was devastated. Skipped class, couldn't eat, thought about her nonstop. Don't even remember the reasons for the break-up, but she rebounded right away and lied about it nonstop. After a few weeks of NC, she came crawling back. Sending me texts saying she could picture us having babies together from this other guys house. We got back together, on the night we got back together, she lied again. I was too excited about it so I let it slide. A few months later, I'm miserable, she says she loves me, but acts like she hates me. I look at her phone - bam cheating on me. I say goodbye, walk home in the rain (movie-esque) and never look back. Ex #2 (recent): First off, let me first comment that Ex #2 was 10000x better than Ex#1 that made me so upset. I hope my next gf blows ex #2 out of the water and never becomes an ex. After dating for 4 years (from age 22-26), we started butting heads over everything. Everything I said was wrong and taken the meanest way possible. We stopped being intimate as she was never around and I didn't find her constant rudeness attractive at all. She broke up with me while my dad was passing away, hopped into a rebound with a married man, quit her job, withdrew from friends all while STILL living with me. Oh yeah, and she lied about it all too. After 2 months of living in that hell and her continually convincing me she wasn't seeing anyone, she moved out. Then threatened to take our dog. Once I was finally about to get my keys back, I told her I still cared, she broke down crying, bashed the other guy and said she wanted to think about us. We were supposed to go on a date, but it all fell apart once I found out she was still with this other guy and I told her I couldn't talk to her anymore. After 11 days of NC, she was back, telling me how much she cared, how sorry she was, how she wanted to go on that date. For the next 3 weeks, we had some amazing times together, but she refused to be intimate, only would hold hands/sleep in my bed etc. She'd talk about having babies with me, then she'd say she was all confused and back away. She asked for some space and then I found out she's back with the married guy. She'll prob come back again once he does 1 thing wrong lol Moral of the Story Yes, they do sometimes come back. The way I got both to come back was a period of NC, followed by me very purposefully making a good image of myself and saying and doing things that I knew would make them miss me. That I knew would make them remember what we used to be. It didn't matter though. They stopped loving me, both of them, and they did that before they broke up with me. They came back because I'm a caring successful guy who they both wanted a full blown family with, but the emotions were already gone and disaster ensued, twice. Thank you. I don't think my ex still love me either. She put me through so much pain for the past few months, it's unbelievable. There's no taking her back but I won't deny that I think about her everyday. Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Moral of the Story Yes, they do sometimes come back. The way I got both to come back was a period of NC, followed by me very purposefully making a good image of myself and saying and doing things that I knew would make them miss me. That I knew would make them remember what we used to be. It didn't matter though. They stopped loving me, both of them, and they did that before they broke up with me. They came back because I'm a caring successful guy who they both wanted a full blown family with, but the emotions were already gone and disaster ensued, twice. That's why playing manipulative games with a walkaway partner to "make them miss you" does not work. Nothing is different, no changes have been made, it's a complete and utter waste of time to try to "win back" a dumper ex by acting in ways that will convince them that things will be better the next time around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Agree for the most part with above post, but the changes I showed her were real changes that I had made and will continue to make moving forward. The thing was, she nor her feelings about me had changed one bit and that's why it didn't work. Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Agree for the most part with above post, but the changes I showed her were real changes that I had made and will continue to make moving forward. The thing was, she nor her feelings about me had changed one bit and that's why it didn't work. Not sure which story you're referring to but the no contact period in which you made "real changes" was 11 days and a couple of weeks. Real change takes somewhat longer than that. Link to post Share on other sites
sly_fly1 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Yes, not necessarily moving on, but usually the dumper leaves bread crumbs here n there. And usually the dumpee answers to all of them. when they realize that they no longer have you on a fish hook, that is when they come back. And yes when your off the fish hook it is either when you have moved on or have given up. How do I know this, we'll I got my gf back, the hard way. I let her break my heart over n over, playing games, ignoring me constantly , like say she would text me n if I replied I'd get ignored . She took advantage of me when I was a wreck, ever herd of the fraise "kick a man when he's down" yea , that's what she did to me. Moral of my story. If I would have did no contact in the first place, I could of had my gf knocking on my door in a month. But instead I tortured myself for 8 months because I followed my broken heart instead of my mind Anyways that is what most dumpers do kick the partner when there Down, sometimes they don't realize that they are even doing it . I warn you now. After the breakup, the dumper often competes to be the first to move on. The first to find a new partner n the first to have sex with them. Just to be one step ahead of you. And I don't know why they do this, but they all do it. This is what you need to do. Delete all social media. Get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex, throw it away or leave it at someone else's home. Do something to keep your mind occupied, video games. N when ur ready to leave the house, work out, or work out in your room. Ur ex will msg you. Don't give in to I miss yous n crap, it's ok to responed so you don't sound rude. But keep your replies short, with no emotion. Ur ex already knows you don't want it to end. But they'll become unsure, it's hard to explain over he internet. N I know the pain you feel, I've been there many times, Give your x space. They will miss you when you are gone. Trust me, they always come back. ALWAYS.... The hard part is not the breakup. It's getting back together. N if you decide to take them back when they do come back, remember it can take a year or years to forgive a traitor, I've been back with my gf for almost a year n a half n still at times I look at her with uncertainty. Time heels the wounds, but scars will always remain. Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I think this discussion misses the underlying point... there are two kinds of people in this world. One is the kind that means what they say, and they know what they want. When they're gone, they're gone, and they're not coming back. If nothing else, they're reliable. You can count on them. It's the kind of thing you look for in a partner. And then there's everybody else. The trouble with this group is that you can't count on them. You don't know why they left, or why they came back. The only thing you know is that they just might leave you again, no matter what they say. Hoping for an ex coming back is like buying a plane ticket on standby. Yeah, you might get the flight, but you don't know when or if. It's a ****ty way to go. Have a little self-respect, let them go, and just assume that your split it permanent. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Anyways that is what most dumpers do kick the partner when there Down, sometimes they don't realize that they are even doing it . True. I warn you now. After the breakup, the dumper often competes to be the first to move on. The first to find a new partner n the first to have sex with them. Just to be one step ahead of you. And I don't know why they do this, but they all do it. This is completely baseless and without fact. The truth is the dumper usually has someone else lined up already and they've been prepared for the breakup so they've got a head start. Give your x space. They will miss you when you are gone. Trust me, they always come back. ALWAYS.... Where do you get this from? It's like it sounds good so you write it down and pass it along even though it's complete nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
sly_fly1 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 True. This is completely baseless and without fact. The truth is the dumper usually has someone else lined up already and they've been prepared for the breakup so they've got a head start. Where do you get this from? It's like it sounds good so you write it down and pass it along even though it's complete nonsense. First of all it's not nonsense and it's not baseless either.all my information comes from personal experience from myself and other people, from the looks of it you are an older man, but we are in the year 2000 now, n relationships aren't the same as they were when you you were in your twenties. Things are completely different now and I'd question if any advice you give in this form is even valid. All your relationship advice was good 40 years ago. But not anymore. There's different information people seek. And the advice I chose to give the OP is meant for the OP and not yourself. Clearly you too have lost your partner or wife and did not have a happy ending. But when two people were truly in love, even if one falls off the boat n drowns, you can still revive them, I'm not trying to give the OP false hope. I am just giving the facts on what I've seen in personal experience. So you can go criticize someone else, that's probably why your wife left you in the first place, is because of your criticism, I don't see another reason for an old man like yourself to be on this website 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 So you can go criticize someone else, that's probably why your wife left you in the first place, is because of your criticism, I don't see another reason for an old man like yourself to be on this website Well, my break time is almost over and Bingo starts in 10 minutes in the rec room, so I've got just enough time to finish this post, get my alzheimers medications from the nurse and wheel myself over to the lounge. See ya later! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Lol damn you wiser for following my story. I'm just saying the way I acted and the things I did to "win" my ex back temporarily were real. They weren't just a fake show to get her back that would later dissipate. I had realized prior to NC the things I wanted to improve about myself and had started on that before NC. I showed that off which had her go back the first time, then she left and I went NC which helped me make some emotional progress. Then she came back again and well, you know the rest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Guys, There is no need to be rude. Sly_fly1, I have to agree with Wizer. Exes do not ALWAYS come back. I have had friends who got dumped for someone else and the ex never came back. If anything, the ex is now happily married with two kids, after 5 years. It might have happened in your case, or your close circle of friends but this is not always the truth and you have to realise that. I appreciate your response and I think you made some good points. I am not clinging into any hope. I don't want to take my ex back. I know how bad she is for me. If anything, I just want the satisfaction of her coming back although I am not going to take her back, if this makes any sense... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imbax Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 If the relationship was good, the ex ALWAYS comes back. I know for a fact my ex-gf will come back, maybe in 6 months, maybe in 4 years, point is - deep down just how I knew she was going to break up with me one day, I know she will be back. There wasn't another man involved, there wasn't cheating, no abuse, nothing. They will be back. And the day they come back. I will post here on LS telling you the great story alongside the likes of aloneinaz and hunk. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 If the relationship was good, the ex ALWAYS comes back. I know for a fact my ex-gf will come back, maybe in 6 months, maybe in 4 years, point is - deep down just how I knew she was going to break up with me one day, I know she will be back. There wasn't another man involved, there wasn't cheating, no abuse, nothing. They will be back. And the day they come back. I will post here on LS telling you the great story alongside the likes of aloneinaz and hunk. What do you consider to be a good relationship? My relationship with her was "good" for the past 6 years until she moved to Dubai and met someone else. She is going to be in Dubai for a long time. She actually likes it there and has someone who looks after her while I am here. I don't think she is coming back, for me, at least. The only positive I can take out from this is, our last encounters before the breakup were truly amazing. Maybe, when the honeymoon phase is over with the other guy, she might realise what she lost. Maybe. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
imbax Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Yeah definitely but don't get your hopes up on it. Even if my exgf is with another guy, I know deep inside that he won't be able to recreate the feelings I gave her. Not sure if I'm being too confident or cocky in myself but this is what I go by these days. You just gotta have some self belief and confidence. In the mean time, just enjoy being single with no boundaries except your own Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 If the relationship was good, the ex ALWAYS comes back. I know for a fact my ex-gf will come back, maybe in 6 months, maybe in 4 years, point is - deep down just how I knew she was going to break up with me one day, I know she will be back. As you start to feel better, try to separate what you want to believe is the truth, from the actual truth. Link to post Share on other sites
sly_fly1 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 If the relationship was good, the ex ALWAYS comes back. I know for a fact my ex-gf will come back, maybe in 6 months, maybe in 4 years, point is - deep down just how I knew she was going to break up with me one day, I know she will be back. There wasn't another man involved, there wasn't cheating, no abuse, nothing. They will be back. And the day they come back. I will post here on LS telling you the great story alongside the likes of aloneinaz and hunk. Yea sorry I should have mentioned if the relationship was good then they will always come back, no one returns to a crappy relationship, for example, a lot of women leave good men for bad boy losers, it's the call of the wild. And vice versa, and when they realize that a loser gang member or drug dealer or control freak or w.e isn't rite for them , then they will be back, rejecting them after they smashed your heart, some people can do it, and others can't let go. What ever your choice is OP there is no right or wrong answer, there's 3 billion women on this planet. N I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just stating a point (dexter) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author DexterLS Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Yea sorry I should have mentioned if the relationship was good then they will always come back, no one returns to a crappy relationship, for example, a lot of women leave good men for bad boy losers, it's the call of the wild. And vice versa, and when they realize that a loser gang member or drug dealer or control freak or w.e isn't rite for them , then they will be back, rejecting them after they smashed your heart, some people can do it, and others can't let go. What ever your choice is OP there is no right or wrong answer, there's 3 billion women on this planet. N I wasn't trying to be rude, I was just stating a point (dexter) I get your point but my ex didn't leave me for a bad guy to be honest. He is a pretty sweet guy according to what I heard: takes care of her etc. Not that I was not. I just think that their relationship looks like it's going to last a while + they are both together in a different country now. Link to post Share on other sites
Riptide91 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Yeah definitely but don't get your hopes up on it. Even if my exgf is with another guy, I know deep inside that he won't be able to recreate the feelings I gave her. Not sure if I'm being too confident or cocky in myself but this is what I go by these days. You just gotta have some self belief and confidence. In the mean time, just enjoy being single with no boundaries except your own You are 100% setting yourself up for a life of hoping and wishing and then one day when she marries some other guy and they have kids what are you going to feel like? Jesus. How could you even begin to think this kind of thinking is smart and/or healthy... Link to post Share on other sites
imbax Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 You are 100% setting yourself up for a life of hoping and wishing and then one day when she marries some other guy and they have kids what are you going to feel like? Jesus. How could you even begin to think this kind of thinking is smart and/or healthy... Trust me, I know my girl better than anyone on the planet Link to post Share on other sites
ravfour4 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 No offense, but if that was true you'd still be together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
wizer Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Trust me, I know my girl better than anyone on the planet This may be true, but that much being said you don't know her nearly as well as you'd like to believe that you do. Link to post Share on other sites
Riptide91 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Trust me, I know my girl better than anyone on the planet Hate to say it, but she's not really "your" girl anymore. Why do you think she's going to come back? Do you have actual evidence or is it just a feeling of hope you're basing the rest of your romantic life upon? I don't mean to come off blunt but I am honestly bewildered why you would wait an eternity for someone who doesn't want you? Link to post Share on other sites
Lizrd3000 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 No offense, but if that was true you'd still be together. That doesn't even make any sense. I see no connection between those things. So a married couple that goes through divorce after being together 25 years, can not say that they know each other better than anyone else? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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