Sweeetie Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 (edited) Hello everyone Long story short, my ex-boyfriend's friend tried it with me when I was with my ex. I declined his advances, and thought about whether to tell my then boyfriend or not- I didn't want to ruin their friendship. After seeking advice from people, I told my boyfriend a couple of weeks later. My boyfriend challenged him about the allegation and the guy denied it, saying I was some crazy gal making up a story Thanks to this happening in the modern day, text messages were able to serve as evidence so my boyfriend saw who was telling the truth. This led to their friendship being ruined temporarily, as well as my friendship with the guy since I had exposed his secret to his buddy. I was not happy with him due to him falsely accusing me of making up a story so I deleted him from Facebook. I did keep saying to my boyfriend that it would be nice for the two of them to become friends again, to which he just replied "one day". My boyfriend and I broke up a couple of months after this, and from what I know, he and this guy are good friends again which is nice. My ex and I haven't spoken much since we broke up, 10 months ago, and we are not on good terms. I miss this guy and am wondering how I can get him back as a friend. I know it didn't do me any favors to delete him from Facebook but at the time things were different. The barrier here is that he sees what happened as me betraying him, by telling his friend about his advances towards me, even though I tried explaining to him at the time that I did it to be loyal to my boyfriend. Does anyone have advice on how to go about getting back in touch? Edited June 2, 2015 by Sweeetie Link to post Share on other sites
AGoodFriend Posted June 2, 2015 Share Posted June 2, 2015 (edited) Sometimes, silence is golden. You declined the friend's advances, which is admirable in my book. That should have been enough if he truly got the message and laid off. I think that you should just keep on moving. If the friend can get over your "betrayal" (he started it all by making moves on his buddy's girl), he will realize that he also misses you as well and will make an attempt to contact you and reestablish the friendship. But I think you should leave the ball in his court. Edited June 2, 2015 by AGoodFriend 1 Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 If you don't mind my asking, why would you want to be friends with someone like that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Sweeetie Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 If you don't mind my asking, why would you want to be friends with someone like that? I miss his personality and we had some good times as friends. I tend to forgive and forget people's wrongdoings. I just don't know how to re-establish some sort of connection with him; if I send him a message on Facebook I doubt he will reply. What should I say? Should I apologise? I did feel that I did the right thing in that I did it to be loyal to my boyfriend, but sometimes I regret it because my ex didn't appreciate me telling him all that much - wasn't worth losing this guy's friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
AGoodFriend Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I tend to forgive and forget people's wrongdoings. This is a great quality you have, Sweeetie, especially the forgetting part. I'm not sure how old you are, but you also need to be very careful because a lot of people out there will take advantage of your kindness. They'll think "Oh I can screw her over and she'll forgive me every time." You don't want to become anyone's doormat. I don't think you should apologize to anyone for anything. You didn't cheat on your ex. And the "friend" made a bad move, going after his buddy's girl. Very bad form. One thing you need to know: If these two are buddies again, they are probably out there raising hell and chasing tail. You are probably the furthest thing from either of their minds, at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
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