Phone GPS locations

[Rope monkey]

Hello, I am new here so I hope this is in the right place. I need some advice because I am about to lose it.

 

I will be the first to admit that I am nosey, paranoid and possessive. Near the end of my marriage 4 years ago, it was being nosey that allowed me to investigate phone numbers on the cell bill and uncover the fact that she was cheating.

 

My current gf of 3 years lives with me. I know she isn't super happy, but she maintains an effort and and says she loves me. We do have sex but only a couple nights a week, and we both seem to not really be making a first move or whatever.

 

So yesterday I was in her phone, and I decided on looking at her google location history. Now I realize GPS **** isn't completely reliable and may kick out stray blips here or there. I also realize it has a margin of error of about 40 yards as demonstrated by her blip clusters which put her at all of our next door neighbor's houses lol. So yes I totally understand it's not the most accurate thing.

 

But here's what I did find. On multiple days over the last 3 weeks she has gone to a house (or his neighbors lol) about a half mile away. It's always at the same time, and says she is there for about 20-30 minutes a pop. The time in question is conveniently right after she drops me off at work. Usually I am dropped off at 5, she "goes back home and sleeps" for about 90 minutes before she has to be at work at 7. So basically 2-3 times per week she is on this street between 5:30-6:00 and is then goes home, and then off to work.

If I saw this once I would think it was an anomoly, but 7-8 times over the last 3-4 weeks? Same place every time?

 

So I confronted her, and she just denies denies denies. She is a victim of ****ty technology. Its not fair that her phone is saying she is somewhere she is not. No no no....I mean she is adament but I don't believe her. Trust me I want to believe her, I want it to be a false reading...but dammit I cannot go against what appears to be completely legit.

 

When my gf and me split up for a few months a while back, she met guys on Craigslist, as in casual encounter NSA FWB kinda ****. Perfectly within her rights because we were single...but now knowing she has used that, and may again someday, I look at this little 30 minute window as a perfect smash and dash scenerio. That little window of time is literally the only time she has away from me, when we are not both working. This "anomoly" always falls within the window.

 

I am not crazy right? Is she cheating on me? Please help. Thanks.

[jen1447]

Technology stuffs up from time to time, but not usually consistently like that. It's extremely likely that the GPS is putting her where she actually is. (GPS is actually very reliable now, tho I don't know how great Google is specifically.)

 

Was she unaware her phone had that activated? Seems like a dumb mistake.

[Rope monkey]

Technology stuffs up from time to time, but not usually consistently like that. It's extremely likely that the GPS is putting her where she actually is. (GPS is actually very reliable now, tho I don't know how great Google is specifically.)

 

Was she unaware her phone had that activated? Seems like a dumb mistake.

 

Well she actually just got that phone like a month ago. Her first android, she has always been an i-phoner...

 

She's not very tech savvy I think she didn't know it tracks her every move.

[smackie9]

Shouldn't have confronted her yet, not until you had someone see where she actually goes, take pics,.... then you have the proper physical evidence that she could never worm her way out of.

[minime13]

Hello, I am new here so I hope this is in the right place. I need some advice because I am about to lose it.

 

I will be the first to admit that I am nosey, paranoid and possessive. Near the end of my marriage 4 years ago, it was being nosey that allowed me to investigate phone numbers on the cell bill and uncover the fact that she was cheating.

 

My current gf of 3 years lives with me. I know she isn't super happy, but she maintains an effort and and says she loves me. We do have sex but only a couple nights a week, and we both seem to not really be making a first move or whatever.

 

So yesterday I was in her phone, and I decided on looking at her google location history. Now I realize GPS **** isn't completely reliable and may kick out stray blips here or there. I also realize it has a margin of error of about 40 yards as demonstrated by her blip clusters which put her at all of our next door neighbor's houses lol. So yes I totally understand it's not the most accurate thing.

 

But here's what I did find. On multiple days over the last 3 weeks she has gone to a house (or his neighbors lol) about a half mile away. It's always at the same time, and says she is there for about 20-30 minutes a pop. The time in question is conveniently right after she drops me off at work. Usually I am dropped off at 5, she "goes back home and sleeps" for about 90 minutes before she has to be at work at 7. So basically 2-3 times per week she is on this street between 5:30-6:00 and is then goes home, and then off to work.

If I saw this once I would think it was an anomoly, but 7-8 times over the last 3-4 weeks? Same place every time?

 

So I confronted her, and she just denies denies denies. She is a victim of ****ty technology. Its not fair that her phone is saying she is somewhere she is not. No no no....I mean she is adament but I don't believe her. Trust me I want to believe her, I want it to be a false reading...but dammit I cannot go against what appears to be completely legit.

 

When my gf and me split up for a few months a while back, she met guys on Craigslist, as in casual encounter NSA FWB kinda ****. Perfectly within her rights because we were single...but now knowing she has used that, and may again someday, I look at this little 30 minute window as a perfect smash and dash scenerio. That little window of time is literally the only time she has away from me, when we are not both working. This "anomoly" always falls within the window.

 

I am not crazy right? Is she cheating on me? Please help. Thanks.

 

Nobody here can tell you that she is cheating for sure, but you have your suspicions, you think you have caught her via her GPS tracking, and you don't believe her.

 

I think those are the main keys here. That, and the fact that you know she is not really happy, but just maintains a happy face (as you essentially stated in your first paragraph).

 

You have a long conversation ahead of you, in my opinion. You guys need to discuss how happy you are with each other, and you need to talk to her about why you feel she is lying to you. This is the catalyst for the conversation, but it seems like there are some underlying issues that have formed this catalyst.

[d0nnivain]

I don't know if she's cheating or not but I do know that without trust you don't have a relationship. You clearly think she's lying to you. Even if she is innocent there is nothing she can do to overcome your belief that the technology is right & she's cheating. Just end it but give her some time to move out.

[deadelvis]

The coincidence is too big. During her perfect window of opportunity her cell phone mistakenly maps her location somewhere else? I think you are absolutely correct. Especially because she denied it. If she had an excuse like "oh I stop at my friend Becky's house sometimes before work" Google maps doesn't lie. But cheating girlfriends do. I'm impressed you were able to catch her this way. But I agree, you should have waited and got more evidence.

[jen1447]

He's not prosecuting the Taliban here tho, just inquiring after his GF's shady whereabouts.

[aloneinaz]

The big picture in reading this is your relationship appears to be not great to begin with. Couple that with a previous break up, mediocre loving and now this potential cheating?

 

 

There's way too many things not working there, especially with this new information on her integrity.

 

 

I think you need an exit strategy my friend.

[minime13]

The big picture in reading this is your relationship appears to be not great to begin with. Couple that with a previous break up, mediocre loving and now this potential cheating?

 

 

There's way too many things not working there, especially with this new information on her integrity.

 

 

I think you need an exit strategy my friend.

 

This is what I disagree with, bolded.

 

Three years is a long time to just throw away. A three year relationship is worth examining and having a deeper discussion to see what the real issues are and what can or cannot be fixed.

 

In this situation, without a complete backstory, I think it's interesting that the OP resorted to GPS coordinates to throw everything out on the table with his girl. That alone proves nothing except his suspicions, if that's all he's got. She's got no obligation (except doing the right thing, in which cheaters do not choose that in the first place) to even give an explanation for it, if there has been nothing else. So, she's got all the leverage.

 

If this were a simple error in GPS mapping (I'd buy it if she had Sprint, or even ATT), she's just been accused of something. If not, he's got nothing other than GPS mapping that is known to not be the most accurate. My location will change by the minute (from one city to the next) when I'm at home talking to people, for example.

 

He thought this before he had any proof whatsoever. He admitted to being jealous, paranoid, and possessive. I'm not saying she's innocent (but I can't say she isn't). This is a discussion, not a deal-breaker.

[beach]

If the pattern shows certain days of the week that she goes there - why not just walk that half a mile after she drops you off and see if her car is there?

 

If it is - just wait outside for the remainder of that half hour window and approach her when she comes out to her car.

 

It would be hard for her to deny being there if you actually see her.

[Clarence_Boddicker]

Didn't read all the posts. Just have a buddy stake her out & see what's going on.

[ascendotum]

The coincidence is too big. During her perfect window of opportunity her cell phone mistakenly maps her location somewhere else? I think you are absolutely correct. Especially because she denied it. If she had an excuse like "oh I stop at my friend Becky's house sometimes before work" Google maps doesn't lie. But cheating girlfriends do. I'm impressed you were able to catch her this way. But I agree, you should have waited and got more evidence.

 

Yeh I agree. I thought her explanation would be that she is visiting a female friend from that address or a fellow female co-worker or an old lady she met when out shopping who she felt sorry for and drops in to see she is okay/help her out or some other plausible explanation.

 

For me I would have worked out the pattern of her visits then on a likely day call in late to work and pretend to have a work colleague pick me up, but instead drop me off in that street where I'd wait hidden from obvious view to see which house she visits and then see what I can view through the windows, or I would get a mate who worked different hours to watch her for me, or hire a PI. For me I would really want very solid evidence before I confront and would not want to tip my hand until then.

 

Still given the fact that she does not have a plausible explanation, but instead outright denies the electronic evidence (not realizing her phone settings were betraying her) for me would be good enough that she is lying and therefore very likely cheating. The fact that she was DTF with random guys from CL during your temporary split would to me also add weight that she still likes the thrill of new sex. It would not surprise if one of those 2 possible houses has a single guy living there.

[minime13]

Yeh I agree. I thought her explanation would be that she is visiting a female friend from that address or a fellow female co-worker or an old lady she met when out shopping who she felt sorry for and drops in to see she is okay/help her out or some other plausible explanation.

 

For me I would have worked out the pattern of her visits then on a likely day call in late to work and pretend to have a work colleague pick me up, but instead drop me off in that street where I'd wait hidden from obvious view to see which house she visits and then see what I can view through the windows, or I would get a mate who worked different hours to watch her for me, or hire a PI. For me I would really want very solid evidence before I confront and would not want to tip my hand until then.

 

Still given the fact that she does not have a plausible explanation, but instead outright denies the electronic evidence (not realizing her phone settings were betraying her) for me would be good enough that she is lying and therefore very likely cheating. The fact that she was DTF with random guys from CL during your temporary split would to me also add weight that she still likes the thrill of new sex. It would not surprise if one of those 2 possible houses has a single guy living there.

It seems like this is done, and whatever she's doing, you don't believe and/or trust her. However, you want some kind of proof to justify what you think she may be doing.

 

Have you ever thought of posting a craigslist ad yourself?

[smackie9]

3 years is nothing.....I dumped someone a 5. It got rid of the problem, and it was worth it.

[d0nnivain]

Three years is a long time to just throw away. A three year relationship is worth examining and having a deeper discussion to see what the real issues are and what can or cannot be fixed.

 

This is a discussion, not a deal-breaker.

 

If I found out the man I have been living with for 3 years has so little faith in me that he scrolled through my phone to look at the GPS tracker . . . forget what he wants or thinks, I'm breaking up with him.

 

While it might be a discussion, if I'm this guy's GF, I'm only sticking around until I can find a new place to live quickly.

 

If she is cheating & I'm not saying one way or the other this may the impetus they both need to move on but this isn't up for discussion. He doesn't trust her so what else is there?

[kendahke]

You'd do well to just end things and be by yourself until you work on that " nosey, paranoid and possessive" thingy and resolve it. You're still prosecuting your ex-wife, which means that emotionally, you're not done/not over her.

 

I see no good sense in staying with someone you don't trust--I mean, what's the point?

 

I was with someone for 13 years. Operative word in that sentence is "was".

Edited June 3, 2015 by kendahke

[minime13]

If I found out the man I have been living with for 3 years has so little faith in me that he scrolled through my phone to look at the GPS tracker . . . forget what he wants or thinks, I'm breaking up with him.

 

While it might be a discussion, if I'm this guy's GF, I'm only sticking around until I can find a new place to live quickly.

 

If she is cheating & I'm not saying one way or the other this may the impetus they both need to move on but this isn't up for discussion. He doesn't trust her so what else is there?

 

Because he knows she isn't super happy, but maintains the relationship. Instead of having that discussion to simply figure out why this is the case, he starts looking for something wrong with her. He thinks he's found it, and is trusting unreliable data to justify his own shrinking away, instead of actually putting forth the real effort to handle their legit relationship issues.

 

It will probably end the relationship one way or another, but it's a better conversation than accusing her of doing something because of his own admitted insecurities and past issues that he's clearly not dealt with.

[Vercetti]

3 years is nothing.....I dumped someone a 5. It got rid of the problem, and it was worth it.

 

Yeah, 15 years and divorced over various disrespect. Why waste more time? Far better off.

 

I think for op he just wants greater confirmation for what already knows. Just reality or fantasy, what does it matter if relationship is sour. If really wants to, could drive his girlfriend over to the adress Citizen Kane style...

[GoBlue]

Let me say first-and-foremost that I am not into this whole snooping in your girlfriend's phone and looking at her GPS history. I'm really not and I am afraid that I would see that as a major invasion of my privacy - especially since you aren't even married. I am in agreement with much of what has been written already, there is a serious lack of trust in this relationship and there doesn't seem to be a lot of joy or fulfillment. Not uncommon though when people live together who are not married. Cohabiting couples have all the supposed "benefits" of marriage with none of the commitment (other than maybe a shared lease or mortgage). Study after study shows that couples who live together before marriage have higher instances of domestic abuse, lower levels of marital satisfaction, and higher rates of divorce. Many experts think that this is because cohabiting without marriage actually infuses the relationship with doubt and a lack of trust. Open and honest communication is the basis of commitment and trust. Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a transparent discussion of where you are and where you see yourselves going.

[deadelvis]

Let me say first-and-foremost that I am not into this whole snooping in your girlfriend's phone and looking at her GPS history. I'm really not and I am afraid that I would see that as a major invasion of my privacy - especially since you aren't even married. I am in agreement with much of what has been written already, there is a serious lack of trust in this relationship and there doesn't seem to be a lot of joy or fulfillment. Not uncommon though when people live together who are not married. Cohabiting couples have all the supposed "benefits" of marriage with none of the commitment (other than maybe a shared lease or mortgage). Study after study shows that couples who live together before marriage have higher instances of domestic abuse, lower levels of marital satisfaction, and higher rates of divorce. Many experts think that this is because cohabiting without marriage actually infuses the relationship with doubt and a lack of trust. Open and honest communication is the basis of commitment and trust. Sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a transparent discussion of where you are and where you see yourselves going.

 

You would have to be insane to marry someone without cohabitating first.

[minime13]

You would have to be insane to marry someone without cohabitating first.

 

Countless generations have done this with greater success in marriage than our own.

 

I wouldn't say you have to be insane. Cohabitation leads to marriage, a lot of times, simply because it's the next step. I almost had that happen myself.

[sandylee1]

You would have to be insane to marry someone without cohabitating first.

 

I disagree with this .

[goldway90]

Seriously if things went to GPS tracking this relationship is already over. No trust.

[beyondcrushed]

If the pattern shows certain days of the week that she goes there - why not just walk that half a mile after she drops you off and see if her car is there?

 

If it is - just wait outside for the remainder of that half hour window and approach her when she comes out to her car.

 

It would be hard for her to deny being there if you actually see her.

 

Yah, just go and see.

 

But as others have said, the bottom line is that you don`t trust her, even if nothing is going on. Lack of trust is the bigger issue which if not addressed, will end your relationship eventually.