elaine567 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Yes, I like this too, becoming interesting and fun, being the guy with the stories to tell and having had the experiences to back up his opinions, is good and attractive to women. Just do not become the strong silent type in the corner, grouching about the world, weighed down by his experiences and downing whiskey to try to forget, as that is not attractive to women and no fun. They quickly get bored or get chronically upset trying to "save" him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 The French Foreign Legion is far tougher than any of the US military services, unless you go special forces. It will also force you to learn French, the language of love. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 The French Foreign Legion is far tougher than any of the US military services, unless you go special forces. It will also force you to learn French, the language of love. That all sounds a bit drastic, try a trip around Europe for a start. I guess the haunted PTSD look, is not the one desired. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 The French Foreign Legion is far tougher than any of the US military services, unless you go special forces. It will also force you to learn French, the language of love. Interesting idea. It's a tough unit to get into, though. One of my friends was a fairly prominent FFL veteran. I still have his booklet of Legion songs (yes, they have their own songbook). Fascinating culture and history. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Careful with romanticising the FFL. Many are pretty nasty in there, just ask men who fought along them... Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 That all sounds a bit drastic, try a trip around Europe for a start. I guess the haunted PTSD look, is not the one desired. You're missing my point. Being a tourist is not a character building endeavor, unless you do it without money. Maybe walking around the world, earning your food from the sweat of your back, would build character. Building character requires overcoming adversity, not surviving 3rd world bureaucracy & diarrhea. Watch a few movies like: Seven Years in Tibet, the Motorcycle Diaries, the Grapes of Wrath, of Mice & Men, etc. What would Mattie Ross suggest he do to build some grit? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 You're missing my point. Being a tourist is not a character building endeavor, unless you do it without money. Maybe walking around the world, earning your food from the sweat of your back, would build character. Building character requires overcoming adversity, not surviving 3rd world bureaucracy & diarrhea. Watch a few movies like: Seven Years in Tibet, the Motorcycle Diaries, the Grapes of Wrath, of Mice & Men, etc. What would Mattie Ross suggest he do to build some grit? I didn't say be a tourist, that wasn't what I meant. I was thinking more along he lines, of no money and working to pay his way, in mind. Tourism is usually NOT character building, 5 star all the way, the pure hell of it... Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I'm not talking about sexual experience... At all. Paragraph 5 of your original post. *shrug* Link to post Share on other sites
thestaircase Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 (edited) Just want to comment on the 'women likes men that experience' (sexual way) I like guys with life eperience, not sex experience. I like "Street smart" guys, guys that NOT afraid of danger, guys that KNOW how to get himself out of any dangerous situations. Guys that are NOT wussy. Guys that KNOW how to PROTECT their girl. Guys that are independent, guys that have street credibility. I DON'T like guys that have ALOT of sexual partners. For example okay, if I know a guy that stick his down there in 100 women, I would RUN FOR THE HILLS!! Heck, even 50 women, I still run for the hills! Pffffffff! with the bullsh-i-t theory that men have alot fo sexual experience/partners are turn on. NOPE! It is a TURN OFF for me. I can't speak for others, but I speak for myself. If I know a guy sleep with 100 girls, again I would RUN FOR THE HILLS! I run far and fast that he see me disappeared into thin air, Poof! Gone! Edited June 3, 2015 by thestairs 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Davey L Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 A women at work recently told me that I was "very experienced"; I thought it was just a polite way of telling me I was old but now you've got me thinking! Seriously though, I'd suggest that you interpret "experience" in the broadest way. Do stuff, acquire some interests, learn stuff, do things. Then you'll be able to participate in intelligent conversation on a wide range of subjects. That will make you more interesting. As a bonus it will also make your own life more interesting and fulfilling irrespective of whether you're getting any sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camaro Guy Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 Paragraph 5 of your original post. *shrug* I said it is a by product of worldly experience, not a precursor to it. Many men who become steeped in the ways of the world end up having experiences with women (sexual or not) due to being in many different environments and situations. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 (edited) Interesting you should say this. I don't think being a virgin is a by-product of lack of experience of life. It is one more experience amongst many. I suppose a guy can feel he knows more what it's about if he has had sex with a woman, but believe me, having sex does not mean a guy is a good lover, so a guy having experience of sex is not in itself any guarantee of a happy time for a woman. A guy following his desires in a natural manner whilst also listening to what the woman says she likes, is much better. But I think you have struck on something that does make a guy more attractive - maturity. I have this ideal I suppose of what I call a 'great man'. He is attractive (of course ) and has certain qualities that are very hard to to find in my experience. They mainly boil down to the ability to deal with different situations in a firm manner but with self-control and tact - being able to manage others from different backgrounds, but able to be respectful towards women and a real gentleman. I know guys like this. They are usually married ( ) and often end up in leadership roles - e.g. head teacher, professors, festival organiser, ex-soldiers, musicians, all kinds of people. They are not above being fun, mischevious, or silly at times, but in a difficult situation they snap into grown-up mode and know how to handle things. I guess this comes from experience but also the type of person they are, someone who assumes responsibility and knows how to behave. Usually these people are multi-talented too. So yes, I agree with you on the experience and maturity: it matters and it's very attractive! Edited June 3, 2015 by spiderowl Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Some of these ideas! Blah! Why on earth do I need a grizzly loser man who finds life easier by making life difficult! For me it's a man that has common sense, knows how to persuade others, get buy in and take charge. They are a Type A, ambitious, and career focused. They also are empathetic to others, love animals, and a good sense of humor. You travel? Awesome, usually required for business. You decided to live on the streets for the heck of it? Yep no. You are military? Definitely no. And sexual experience? You can be a two pump chump having never had sex, sex multiple times and sex with multiple people. Experience does not a good lover make. See above for the attributes that do. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 I said it is a by product of worldly experience, not a precursor to it. Many men who become steeped in the ways of the world end up having experiences with women (sexual or not) due to being in many different environments and situations. I know it's not a precursor to it. All I said is that I agree that general life experience is a good thing to aspire to and is an attractive trait, and then added my opinion that sexual experience is the exception to that rule for me, that I simply don't find that particular part attractive. Nothing to overthink lol. I was literally agreeing with what you were saying. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Has anyone known of any guys who did not get laid until their mid to late 20's or even 30's, in which they were able to find a woman that did not care that he was a virgin still at that age? Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Has anyone known of any guys who did not get laid until their mid to late 20's or even 30's, in which they were able to find a woman that did not care that he was a virgin still at that age? Yes. ______ 3 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Heh, yep, and the women never knew or never cared enough to mention anything. IME, dating and mating didn't change markedly after virginity went. The same challenges remained, except virginity was no longer a factor. The main difference was the earlier dating experiences never got to that point or past it; some of the later ones did. All? Nope! Historically, attraction was the first hurdle; relationship experience was more a factor after intimacy and sex occurred. Without sufficient attraction, all the experience in the world was irrelevant. Lastly, the meaning of the word 'experienced' varies markedly from woman to woman. Dated one? Dated one. They're not a hive mind. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Has anyone known of any guys who did not get laid until their mid to late 20's or even 30's, in which they were able to find a woman that did not care that he was a virgin still at that age? I was a late bloomer. I didn't lose my virginity until my early 20s. My GF was younger and a virgin also. No issues about my lack of experience in that dept. I made sure to make up for lost experience every chance I could get. Link to post Share on other sites
GravityMan Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Based on what you wrote in your OP, Camaro Guy...I don't think "experienced" is the best word to use here. I think "interesting" is a bit better fitting term. (Or "maturity".) And of course women like interesting (which is subjective) men. You don't need years of experience at a thousand different things in life in order to be interesting or mature. There are 20-year old guys out there who look like pretty boys who have common sense and their acts together...moreso than some rugged-looking 35-year old dude who chugs Budweiser like it's water. There are homebodies out there who have led interesting lives. It starts with having a good attitude, a spine, a willingness to step outside your comfort zone every now and then, and being able to calmly interact with others in a reasonably "normal" fashion. Some of the most memorable, enlightening and valuable life experiences many men and women have...they encounter them together with their significant other. Life is viewed as a journey for a lot of people. I'm pretty sure that I and others have said this to you before in other threads: you really ought to just try to relax and stop thinking so much about this stuff. Loosen up and live a little. Slightly off-topic: I also disagree with your "job situation" example. I've noticed that the folks who are looked up to tend to: - be confident in themselves and their abilities - inspire others - lead by example and have a tendency to just get stuff done Some of those folks who possess the above are actually pretty young and only have a few years of experience (and a few of them are on the quiet side), and older employees admire them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 4, 2015 Share Posted June 4, 2015 Some of the most memorable, enlightening and valuable life experiences many men and women have...they encounter them together with their significant other. Life is viewed as a journey for a lot of people. I agree except for the quoted part. I think most people who haven't done it already would benefit from setting out on their own and conquer difficult challenges on their own. Men and women. There isn't anything like the feeling of you against the elements and prevailing. That's where sometimes confidence comes from. Then of course there is the journey as a couple but experiencing significant challenges on your own is very benificial. I think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camaro Guy Posted June 4, 2015 Author Share Posted June 4, 2015 (edited) I think most people develop whatever it is that we want to call this (grittiness for lack of a better term, I guess), but variables still come into play: the breadth of experiences, and whether the person is wisely applying the lessons learned in those experiences to their life. A lot of people do develop it but there's a significant amount of people who fell behind for whatever reason, whether it be overprotective parents, a heady combination of fear of the outside world, lack of desire to experience anything beyond their bubble, or maybe all three. It's a very unfortunate situation to experience and it can be quite distressing when you find that you lack certain skills you should have at your age. For me, it was the fear aspect that kept me from experiencing more than I should have. In college, I was deathly afraid of pretty much everyone and everything around me. I simply had no confidence in myself and my ego was easily damaged. I took everything personally and to contempt. I was bullied a lot when I was younger and I just simply didn't believe I had it in me to be any better. Sophomore year is when I started to see that change was possible but it still discouraged me from further action because I believed it was so far off so why bother trying. It took a long time a lot of different experiences to build my confidence up to a satisfactory baseline level. For me, seeing that I could change the environment around me (my body) through consistent and diligent exercise was the major aspect. Everyone will be different. Now, I find myself trying to make up for lost time. I know that one day myself and everyone I know will no longer be here. I'm trying to break through that wall of fear one day at a time. It will take a while but one day it will fall. I'm just trying to be the best person I can be. If I fail, so be it. Interesting you should say this. I don't think being a virgin is a by-product of lack of experience of life. It is one more experience amongst many. I suppose a guy can feel he knows more what it's about if he has had sex with a woman, but believe me, having sex does not mean a guy is a good lover, so a guy having experience of sex is not in itself any guarantee of a happy time for a woman. A guy following his desires in a natural manner whilst also listening to what the woman says she likes, is much better. But I think you have struck on something that does make a guy more attractive - maturity. I have this ideal I suppose of what I call a 'great man'. He is attractive (of course ) and has certain qualities that are very hard to to find in my experience. They mainly boil down to the ability to deal with different situations in a firm manner but with self-control and tact - being able to manage others from different backgrounds, but able to be respectful towards women and a real gentleman. I know guys like this. They are usually married ( ) and often end up in leadership roles - e.g. head teacher, professors, festival organiser, ex-soldiers, musicians, all kinds of people. They are not above being fun, mischevious, or silly at times, but in a difficult situation they snap into grown-up mode and know how to handle things. I guess this comes from experience but also the type of person they are, someone who assumes responsibility and knows how to behave. Usually these people are multi-talented too. So yes, I agree with you on the experience and maturity: it matters and it's very attractive! I would say virginity is a consequence of not being out there. Pretty much all the guys I know who were/are virgins have very little to no street smarts, they often experience life as a spectator rather than a participant. Sexuality is a large part of what makes us human. It IS the creation of life. If you haven't had that experience, something that is so quintessential to life, it makes you feel as if a piece of your humanity is non-existent. You feel like an outsider looking in. You start to ask where you went wrong and how you can undo the damage. When everyone you know has had some type of experience with the opposite sex, you start to question yourself. You start to analyze your values. You start to feel as if you're the only one left. If you're not careful, it can eat you alive and make you spend countless years of your life in search of a pot of gold that doesn't exist. That's why it is important to guard your mind against negative thoughts. Unless you are a virgin strictly out of choice even though opportunities clearly presented themselves to you. Then that's different. I suppose maturity is a large piece of what I was trying to say in my original paragraph. More of it is imposing your will on the world no matter what the outcome is. Edited June 4, 2015 by Camaro Guy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 5, 2015 Share Posted June 5, 2015 Yes. ______ would love to hear some specific detailed examples of stores, of guys not getting their first girlfriend, losing their virginity until their late 20's or even 30's, and the women they found overlooked their lack of experience. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Camaro Guy Posted June 5, 2015 Author Share Posted June 5, 2015 would love to hear some specific detailed examples of stores, of guys not getting their first girlfriend, losing their virginity until their late 20's or even 30's, and the women they found overlooked their lack of experience. It wouldn't really matter anyway. It all depends on your mindset. She could tell you endless stories of people who didn't lose virginity until late but it wouldn't matter because they're not you. There are many men who didn't make anything of themselves until their 40s and 50s. Henry Ford and Colonol Sanders (creator of KFC) come to mind. Then there's a lot of people who never make anything of themselves and they leave this world as a loser. If you want something, you have to go out and get it by any means necessary. All of this naval-gazing does no one any good. It's like learning how to cure cancer but then not applying the knowledge. It doesn't mean anything. What are you doing to better your position in life? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I can see this. There is something attractive about a man who gets involved in life, involved in the world. Who can solve problems cope with life with strength. I think of some of John Wayne's characters, Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck is amazing), and of course, Leroy Jethro Gibbs 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 It wouldn't really matter anyway. It all depends on your mindset. She could tell you endless stories of people who didn't lose virginity until late but it wouldn't matter because they're not you. There are many men who didn't make anything of themselves until their 40s and 50s. Henry Ford and Colonol Sanders (creator of KFC) come to mind. Then there's a lot of people who never make anything of themselves and they leave this world as a loser. If you want something, you have to go out and get it by any means necessary. All of this naval-gazing does no one any good. It's like learning how to cure cancer but then not applying the knowledge. It doesn't mean anything. What are you doing to better your position in life? well it's an insecurity I've been having so long on my mind now for being so damn far behind in the dating game/sex game, so much insecurity that the insecurity has often made me unmotivated to take action to fix my issues with women Link to post Share on other sites
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