Lizrd3000 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 So, I was having a random thought just now. Can you really consider something ''love'' when you just forget about it over time and ''heal'' from the hurt? I'm asking this because I just don't see a way to ever get out of this place. Does one just get over someone if that person truly loved that person? I mean, if my mother ever told me she wants nothing to do with me, I can't just ''get over'' my mother. I love her. Wouldn't it the same with an ex, if one truly loved that person? Link to post Share on other sites
Ariess10 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 You never really "get over it" you learn to deal with it and live with it .. They will always hold a special spot Link to post Share on other sites
Yummm Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I'm in the same predicament, but the way I see ANY similarity is something similar of an old best friend or a family member. Remember the mate you were with for years and suddenly they are gone? After time and NC you eventually remember the good memories and have a laugh to yourself. Unfortunately it happens with family too sometimes... I'm sure the 'love' emotion to these people aren't anywhere near as intense as a lover, but hey it's just my opinion. Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I agree that you always have a special place for someone. I'll always care about both of my exes even though they were jerks. I'll always remember that I had a special bond with them and the memories of that never fade. In regards to the example you used of your mother: not the case for me. I think that, just because you're related to someone biologically, doesn't mean you have to love them. I hate my father with everything I have. He has mistreated me and abused me so badly throughout my life that I feel nothing for him. I wouldn't even stop to talk to him if I was walking down the street and I haven't seen him in years. I feel more of a bond for my exes than I do some family members. It's all about the bonds you form and memories you share. I think you "get over" the relationship but always hold the person dear even in the smallest respect, unless it's an extreme case like abuse. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fennerson Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I'm in that situation right now, my ex broke up womith me about 3 and a bit months ago, just after valentines day, and I just can't get over her. She is my first love and for some reason I just can't get her out of my mind, I've been trying so hard; by going out with friends, doing things that I enjoy. But it is sinply not working and I get these random moments where I just need to be by myself and shed some tears. Our relationship was great, no arguments and then all of a sudden she said she doesn't love me anymore, I hate it and can't get over her and don't know what to do, advice would be appreciated, many thanks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizrd3000 Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 I agree that you always have a special place for someone. I'll always care about both of my exes even though they were jerks. I'll always remember that I had a special bond with them and the memories of that never fade. In regards to the example you used of your mother: not the case for me. I think that, just because you're related to someone biologically, doesn't mean you have to love them. I hate my father with everything I have. He has mistreated me and abused me so badly throughout my life that I feel nothing for him. I wouldn't even stop to talk to him if I was walking down the street and I haven't seen him in years. I feel more of a bond for my exes than I do some family members. It's all about the bonds you form and memories you share. I think you "get over" the relationship but always hold the person dear even in the smallest respect, unless it's an extreme case like abuse. I was giving an example of my mother because I do love her. Obviously not because of the biological bond we have, as me and my ex aren't bro and sis, lol. I meant ''love'' in general, I gave my mother as example because I can not ever see me not loving her, even if she has some kind of accident, which totally ****s her mind, does not remember me and wants me out of her life or something. I'd love my mom anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizrd3000 Posted June 3, 2015 Author Share Posted June 3, 2015 I'm in that situation right now, my ex broke up womith me about 3 and a bit months ago, just after valentines day, and I just can't get over her. She is my first love and for some reason I just can't get her out of my mind, I've been trying so hard; by going out with friends, doing things that I enjoy. But it is sinply not working and I get these random moments where I just need to be by myself and shed some tears. Our relationship was great, no arguments and then all of a sudden she said she doesn't love me anymore, I hate it and can't get over her and don't know what to do, advice would be appreciated, many thanks.Everything you said applies to me too, except for I can't cry anymore, I do want to but it's just not happening for some reason. Feels like the emotions are building up without any way of letting it out, doesn't feel natural. Anyways, I'm struggling with my first love, that's what this post is about. And if what you guys are saying is correct, you never get over them, you just learn to live with it, then it'd mean that life sucks. LMAO. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariess10 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Everything you said applies to me too, except for I can't cry anymore, I do want to but it's just not happening for some reason. Feels like the emotions are building up without any way of letting it out, doesn't feel natural. Anyways, I'm struggling with my first love, that's what this post is about. And if what you guys are saying is correct, you never get over them, you just learn to live with it, then it'd mean that life sucks. LMAO. I'm 32 and my first love was when I was turning 16 until I was 20 .. Now that it's been 12 years I think about her every now and then, but not like it was when we were dating it's different .. She's married with two kids now and I'm happy for her.. I just thought at my age I'd be married not going through a break up AGAIN 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fennerson Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Everything you said applies to me too, except for I can't cry anymore, I do want to but it's just not happening for some reason. Feels like the emotions are building up without any way of letting it out, doesn't feel natural. Anyways, I'm struggling with my first love, that's what this post is about. And if what you guys are saying is correct, you never get over them, you just learn to live with it, then it'd mean that life sucks. LMAO. Your situation it better than mine though, I keep feeling quite depressed and feel like i have nobody to talk to, it's crap and I hate it. Me and my ex have had no contact for about 2 and a bit months now but I still feel as though I can't get over her. I really do hate it, done so many stupid things already because of the pain and depression i've been going through, and don't want to do anymore, just hoping I get through it soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Ariess10 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 Your situation it better than mine though, I keep feeling quite depressed and feel like i have nobody to talk to, it's crap and I hate it. Me and my ex have had no contact for about 2 and a bit months now but I still feel as though I can't get over her. I really do hate it, done so many stupid things already because of the pain and depression i've been going through, and don't want to do anymore, just hoping I get through it soon. I'm with you, I think the 2 month mark is the hardest for some reason Link to post Share on other sites
Fennerson Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I'm with you, I think the 2 month mark is the hardest for some reason I hope it is, then I can get through it after this tough period, man love is **** isn't it.... Link to post Share on other sites
Ariess10 Posted June 3, 2015 Share Posted June 3, 2015 I hope it is, then I can get through it after this tough period, man love is **** isn't it.... it's a pain and feeling like no other. I am sure in the next few month we will start to see the dark clouds lift.. I have faith in that 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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