The computer is RUINING my LIFE.

[chubachoop]

I think my boyfriend is addicted to porn. Hes got loads on his computer. It never interferes with our sex life though, he wants it all the time and said he hasnt even masturbated since we got together! I am a bit worried it might affect our relationship later, cause of reading posts on here but Im trying not to. I dont wanna stop him looking at it. I dont like him looking at women in the street or whatever but porn is different. Hes learnt loads about sex from his habit too and is great lover so im not gonna complain!!

[emmabunny]

Hun, i have to say that one thing you have to remember is each guy is different and he may never increase is porn levels to a point where it would interfer with your sex life. I wouldn't worry about something that hasn't happened yet - enjoy how is is now why he is like it!

 

I just feel unlucky as mine definately has interferred. Its so hard for me as I feel like every other aspect in our relationship is great. We have lots of fun, I trust him, we even work together at weekends and get on great, when we have sex its great but i sadly feel greatful for very little. If I was too split with him no one would understand why I did it, and I'd be unable to tell anyone. I have no question that he loves and adores me, but I am so sexually frustrated i end up being grumpy simply because when i'm hme he's always here and i couldn't sneak off and masterbate like he can, so i just get down about it.

 

I'm in my early 30's so i can't help thinking about bonking so often through the day!!! My sex drive is huge at the mo, so i may well be thinking and obsessing about it too much... but its just so tough to know he's been on the PC while i'm working during the day...and i go to bed with nothing night after night except for hugs and kisses. I may as well be living on my own, while we separately happily masterbate! then I wouldn't be cleaning up after others in the house, would have my own space and wouldn't have the temptation to look at his PC. (I reckon i have got it down to looking once every 6 to 8 weeks) But every single time i look he's been on the porn. I have never looked and not found nothing. That inself doesn't bother me is going to bed knowing he has been with the video girls and they have had all the fun. When it gets like this its almost as bad as him having an affair.

 

Guys you all say its harmless but the sites just lead on and on and on, so some guys could never get bored only pulled further in.

 

what u think guys????

and please answer can u actually watch porn for hours at a time? A couple of guys said it takes a few mins... but if thats the case why does he download over a 120 different mini vids in one sitting?

 

xxx

[Bunnylove]

Hey Emmabunny!

 

I'm reading your long post and totally feeing for ya. Guess personally I have always loved porn and I'm a lil sorry to say I sometimes encourge a guy with his porn. The reasons i like it is, i love to watch my lover get himself off...its such a turn on for me. It's like pretending to be a fly on the wall while he does his thing and i LOVE it. I like watching porn with my boyfriends too. Sometimes when I'm with a new lover and he finds this out he is suprised and tells me how ALL is past girlfriends hated it.

 

Unfortunetly it seems to me like your man is ADICTED to it. It seems like he is at the point of obbsession. THIS in itself needs to be looked at. Do you think if you broke up with him he would still obsess over porn the way he does? If that answer is yes then maybe he needs some councelling as this will not only affect YOUR relationship with him but ANY relationship he is in.

 

It seems to me that he isnt happy and is frustrated. I hear that you are too and are in need of more lovin'. I have found out through my last relationship that is very easy to set things off balance. For example in the beggining i found his sex drive and need for attension so overwhelming that i started to back off....meaning I became less invloved with sex and didnt want to give him attension. His NEED for love sex and affection put me off him...it wasnt attractive to me. We had many long talks and he realised all he had to do was back off and let me come to him! Well this worked...for a long time we were happy but we worked to keep that balance. Towards the very end we went through a really rough patch as i found he cheated on me. because of this I really showed him my dark side....threw tantrums....went through his stuff....told him i hated him and awfull things like that. We tried to move past this an I wanted to learn how to forgive and he regretted deeply the way he hurt me and admited he was selfish...ANYWAY.....I became very insecure after that.....after all the drama passed i wanted to go back to being loving. I went to see him and he was in a weird place cause after seeing how horrid i could be he was having second thoughts about us. He didnt tell me this at the time but i could feel that someting was wrong. It felt like he had fallen out of love with me. We discussed it and both agreed that couples can fall in and out of love..i know i can so we waited for this to pass. At this point I wanted him soooo bad. I was all over him all the time. i was getting dressed up in sexy clothes....giving him hand jobs often (his favorite which i never did enough) buying chocolate body paint...etc.....the problem was the MORE i came onto him the less he had to WORK to get my attension...the challange had gone and again we were off balance...i had to learn to back off at this point and evetually he DID come back to me. (although we have since broken up).

 

 

Anyway i feel i'm rambling a bit but that was my lil storey about keeping a balance in the relationship. If you make yourself more of a challage for your boyf he might start suprising you. On the other hand what YOU are dealing with ..with the porn issue is NOT AT ALL healthy for him..for you OR the relationship. He probably knows this himself and sounds like maybe he is a lil embarressed about his obbsession. Thats why maybe was was so angry. He also maybe thinks your gona tell him to stop and take it away from him which he doesnt want....its like a drug addiction by the sounds of it and he needs to see for himself he has a problem. On another hand still...maybe he DOESNT have a problem and is using porn just to help himself get off as he is frustrated. Just because you are thier and avaiable it doesnt mean he should automatically WANT YOU for sex. HE has to want you....that has to come from him. I'm not an expert on these things but i have my theorys about balance as you have read. I would try as you have before to back off....let him come to you....try hard to keep that balance as long as he needs it.....maybe he just needs time and if I were you I would just be patient and take what you can get for a while. Would it be totally out of the question for you to go into couple councelling....someone with some more knowledge on these issues would help i'm sure. The way things are NEITHER of you are happy and your BOTH frustrated. If I remember correctly you are verging on having an affair.....DON"T...JUST cause you feel neglected or whatever that does NOT give you permission to do that. I know it seems ones sided that he gets what he wants so maybe you should too. If that is really the case you should brake up with him. If you two can't brake up then maybe there is enough love there to take your relationship out of the dump and onto the next level. I really would suggest councelling at this point before you destroy everything by having an affair (if thats your fantasy). your boyfriend is frustrated about something...so talk to him!

 

much love xxxx

[jade_nc]

i went through the same thing with my H. after many arguments and back and forths, i decided i needed to do some changing on my part.

 

i wasn't comfortable with on-line porn because there was so much more that it could have turned into...like live web cams, chats, etc.

 

there are also many sights that made me uncomfortable because of the content.

 

so - i went to the video store. i bought a few dvd's for him. most places will let you return them or exchange them. i told the person at the counter what i didn't want and they were very helpful in giving me direction. i know what the content is, but he watches them alone.....so he's not viewing and coming onto me.

 

i also bought some toys for us that i thought we would BOTH be comfortable with.

 

that was about 18months ago. he hasn't viewed on-line since.

[FolderWife]

EXACTLY emmabunny.

 

At first, the porn is ok. Then he watches it too much. He's all secretive about it, and when you tell him that you know about it, he gets angry.

 

So then, you become obessesed with him watching it. You do everything to make him want you INSTEAD of the porn. You have sex with him more than you want to. You sacrifice your sexual satisfaction so he will be satisfied, so he won't NEED porn. You buy sexy lingerie. You excercise and don't eat.

 

You compete with it. You try not to...you don't want to, but you do.

 

then you get angry and realize that you shouldn't HAVE to compete with porn for YOUR OWN MAN!!!

 

So then you tell him he can have his porn, because if you have to give one more blowjob you're going to shoot yourself.

 

That's fine for a little while...the sex frequency is still up, and the quality of sex goes up...because you don't feel obligated to blow him, because if he isn't completely pleased, he can wank to porn!

 

Then you get resentful, and you don't want him to touch you or be near you. After a couple of weeks of that, and he's made no effort to get with you you realize that he doesn't even NEED you any more.

 

He loves you, he shows you that in many ways, but he doesn't need your body...he has porn. So then you get depressed, because you realize that if you don't approach him on hands and knees ready to give him head in order to get him going for sex, you might as well forget it, because he's go porn.

 

So sex becomes completely unfair, because he's found a way to make it aaaaaaaaall aboooout him. Either you go down on him, get on top of him, and make sure that HE gets off....or you won't get sex at all, because he can just wank off and be just as satisified.

 

And one more thing...he thinks that this is perfectly normal, and there's something terribly wrong with you for not just ACCEPTING that sex has nothing to do with you...it's all about him, and if you don't make it all about him, he'll just masterbate!

[corry42]

It's actually surprising to me how many couples have problems with this porn thing...

I didn't know it was that bad and that widespread.

 

I don't have any advice to offer, I'm just storing away this info in my brain so I don't make the same mistake as these husbands.

 

chubachoopsaid:

I think my boyfriend is addicted to porn. Hes got loads on his computer. It never interferes with our sex life though, he wants it all the time and said he hasnt even masturbated since we got together! I am a bit worried it might affect our relationship later, cause of reading posts on here but Im trying not to. I dont wanna stop him looking at it. I dont like him looking at women in the street or whatever but porn is different. Hes learnt loads about sex from his habit too and is great lover so im not gonna complain!!

 

You shouldn't worry, lass. It's not unusual for a guy to have a lot of porn, it's just nice to have a wide variety of things to choose from when you feel like it.

You're saying yourself that it hasn't interfered with your sexlife, and even that he doesn't masturbate anymore, so, really, I don't think there's anything to worry about. No use freaking out over something that "could possibly happen someday". It probably won't happen.

 

Amalphia, don't leave your hubby if you don't want to.

And it doesn't sound as if he's not paying you enough attention in bed, right?

Then there's no reason to put the blame on him. You say he changed, I believe you. Don't leave him. And don't let people tell you you should.

 

As for how to get over your feelings towards porn...

Can't really tell you.

My girlfriend shows interest in the things I watch occasionally, and I like it when we can watch together. But what I like even better, is when SHE explores the internet and tells me what SHE enjoys.

Makes me feel good to know we can share these things.

[Guest]

Not every man becomes a porn addict from watching porn. It would be a huge mistake to divorce over this.

[Bunnylove]

You're right! Every boyf ive ever had has had some form of porn and it never bothered me as its to be expected. But one of the posters here has a man that seems like a bit of an addict. I think it's unusual situation and he needs help ot THEY need help. I would DEFINETLY advice councelling about this. As for the original post, it sounds to me like SHE has a big problem with porn...she feels its disgusting and wrong. My advice for her would be to talk to her hubby bout it. You should find a way to exept that he likes to watch porn now and then and making him out to be disgusting or wrong will no doubt put strain on the relationship. If you love him you have to find a way to deal with it. Otherwise you should find some guy who feels the same way about porn as you do. I can't see that being easy though!!!

[jezzy]

Ive known for 2 1/2 yrs my bf had a prob w/ porn. Sounds like the sexual intimacy in your relationship was not affected as much, maybe yet. Our sex was greatly affected cus he could get down with the internet and get off, but did not with me. So I felt I was unattractive, poor in bed etc. But it actually was him unable to be intimate with another human being on that level. and Ive come to accept that he has problems. And he chose not to change for me. So 2 1/2 yrs later, i am moving out and on. sadly. I say if he stops being intimate w/ you, or if it really bothers you because you believe porn is horrible or wrong confront him and ask him to ease up on the porn. If he cares he will stop!

[guest]

From the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend, I knew that porn was not okay to me, period. But I didn't have a problem with it until we really started to have sex and he had problems with his performance. That was when it became a big enough deal for me to ask him to stop. And surprisingly, after more than six months of on and off fighting, he eventually did. So therefore, there are actually men out there that will change their porn habits if they care for your feelings enough. If you're not hurt by porn, fine. But if you are and depending on your situation, I don't believe that it should always be the woman in the relationship that has to change. If you're still young, then there's no need to make a compromise since there are always better men out there. My belief is that if a guy is satisfied with both the emotional and physical aspects of a relationship then he does not need porn to survive. It is one thing to glance at an attractive woman out on the streets but another to jack off to images of naked woman on the screen. I think that a boyfriend should be as committed mentally to a woman as he is physically. All-in-all, if he truly values your feelings, he'll change in time.

[kittenhead]

I'm just wondering if there is a basic difference between the way men and woman view porn. It seems to touch on a few problems that are bigger than the indivdual--it seems to me that this is a social issue--bigger than all of us and to try to undo all the socialization activities that men and women are encouraged to do from adolecence and onward--seems like too big of a mountain to climb when you could be putting the enegry towards something else.

 

i think there are some intense psychological implications of the women in pornography--that without question communicate a subversive message: violence against women. its a tough phrase to read--since it really is cliche now--but maybe reexamine that. I wonder why I hate porn so much and I wonder why other women do as well--and I think is has alot to do with a complicated message we (both men & women) esperience from these images. i'll try to articulate this experience but it may be missing somethings.

 

the males are generally in control---there is no attention paid to their reactions only how the women reacts to him. there's also a tremendous amount of attention being bad to the woman's genitals. there is a subconscious level of control at work here--where the guy holds all the cards--or power--the woman is powerless and for all intents and purposes delights in physical exctasy over this. and unfortunately this is a message that communicates that women are less equal to the men they are having sex with in these images--but they are getting attention from the male.

 

so to me--its no wonder why we feel threatened by them--they are images that make us feel undervalued. and it's not just in porn. and getting attention from the male is important to women--so when he's payng attention to another one--then that does seem threatening even ifv the are two dimensional women. i have a friend who did a graduate research paper on the connection between pornography and advertsing in fashion magazines. she actually ripped the images out off both types of magazines and guess what? the poses were exactly the same. so the messages of porn are being communicated to us in advertising is --ALL AROUND US.

 

the problem here is that this is an unbreakable cycle--there is some DNA hardwiring going on--but I think our perceptiosn (even a bit of our sexuality) is massagable socially/through the media--so what drives the media? --media outlets have no real form of ethical by laws b/c their job is to make money and their ability in making money is in their ability to create desire in the consumer--desire that we need something --or lack in something already--hence, feel inept or undervalued just the way we are. these are similar lessons in porn.

 

have any women wished they looked like the models in the fashion magazines? i have. i think that if look like that then all my problems will go away b/c i will have the attention of men--b/c their attention validates on some level--my feelings of value--and truthfully--i want to be the naked woman in the magazines that my boyfriend is viewing--because that would be the ultimate validation. but is that healthy? no--no way. yet--its an automatic thouhgt. so instead, I recognize them and as soon as they come up--I purposefully correct them --

 

geez--i'm admitting some things that i barely allow myself to examine-but i thought it may help some of the people here--men and women in understanding the confusing emotional reactions related to porn. does the phrase "men want, women want to be wanted" ring a bell.

[Bunnylove]

so then maybe porn for you is tapping in on your insecurities?

 

Mine were diffrerent...i didnt like my boyf looking at women in the street...talking to other women, flirting with other women, going out with other women, thinking about other women, being attracted to other women, having a history of women...ANYTHING really!

 

But porn im diffrent. I have never minded guys watching porn unless i disagree with the content. i dont agree with the obvious really...child/animal or anything really brutal like doing the toilette on one another...bleh!

 

I think each and every guy that has explored porn...specially on the net...will find what he is into. My last boyfriend was into hand jobs. It didnt turn me on but I was curious. He says he likes to see the WOMEN in control and getting pleasure from giving him pleasure. Personally I like to watch gang bangs with one girl and lots of guys. I guess porn in a way is like living out your fantasy without actually having to make it a reality...for example the top female sexual fantasy is aparently being raped...but of course we dont WANT to be raped...only as a fantasy.

 

Anyway guess I wanted to put in my view cause maybe im the only women here that likes porn. Its healthy and fun and you dont catch std's from it!

 

Go on....enjoy it!

[emmabunny]

Well here's a funny story.

 

We went out on saturday - was a great evening, old schoool friends who i hadn't seen for ages. Then we went out with old buddies of mine from a really active club i used to be in...mainly male members... another great night, .......

 

I was really chuffed as on both nights guys kept coming up to my man and saying

really nice things about me, and its was great seeing them. One in particular is forth right and a bit dinny, speaks his mind regardless who it offends.. kept on asking about us and if we were happy ...blah blah

anyway my man was clearly amazed at the attention i was getting!!

 

the next day i had off and he was lovely to me all day, I went out with a mate and he text me all the time wondering when i was coming home....and later he was really up for being rude infact very attentive rude.... and meanwhile it occurred to me that i hadn't really been making much effort with dinners lately and he was at a hard stage of his uni work..and needed support regardless of our issues. I cooked him a roast - which i haven't done for ages, which he loves... and have basically cooked all week... trout, mexican, indian..and today i did a lasange for him to munch on for study snack food..like i used to when we first got together... he's been great all week and brought me drinks, called me... lots of hugs and lots of nookie..keeps grabbing me and hugging me up.

 

and then when i was thinking nothing could get better... his PC got a virus and oh no he can't go on the internet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

i'm in for nookie nookie nookie... he even got the baby oil out today! yippeee enjoying this while it lasts...

 

just thought i'd let u know

xx xxx

[Sal Paradise]

Thank god my girlfriend isn't insecure over porn. There's no way I could be with someone who feels sexually threatened by porn. Yeah if a guy would rather jerk to porn than sleep with his girl, thats one thing but most guys only do it when she isn't available. There's nothing wrong with most pornography.

 

This is why couples should be honest about this stuff from the beginning, if the girl knows the guy masturbates to porn and has no intention to quit then she has no right to ask him to.

[emmabunny]

now odd as it may sound coming from me - totally agree with u. I have friends who have blokes, who joke about say stuff like 'been looking all morning on the internet and not one of those birds was a hot as u...now lets go for it again'

 

The problem for me is exactly the fact i didn't know to the extent of the time on porn sites, his attidue, he has made me feel like he enjoys sneaky porn... i do like shagging to it, i like making love ****ing etc etc.. now see here the thing is i have always had healthy sex lives in my relationships and very open minded about them, not frightened to try stuff and happy to mostly enjoyed it, and didn't do anything twice i didn't like. THE PROBLEM is excessive internet porn use. It is trying to identify if there is a problem or if its normal. The problem doesn't suddenly appear if its excessive, its gradual. Internet porn being so young in its life span there are no guides..so we can only guess that when a guy stops shagging u and plays porn instead its got past a point of relationship healthy.

I love sex. I might not be a fit as i used to be (working on that one) but hey i love experimentation, with a fun happy partner who is up for a good night, hour, two min hard ****.

I think those lads that use it when the mood takes them have no issue, its the ones who are addicted. Who can not even go to bed on time and stay up exhausted fromsearching on the net. FOR PUSSY! What i have decided though and for me this makes things easier.

 

1. He looks at the same stuff all the time, which is also pretty ok, considering whats out there!

2. One of the things he looks at we've tried and i'm not too into so that 'saves me the job' ha ha

3. The other thing he really likes i do a lot for him anyway so not worried if he gets a few extra goes on his own.

 

what upsets me is the irregualr nookie. I'm once in the morning once at night girl he's a once every other day or two or three...and as he's here at home all the time, when i'm not he gets to play and when i am, if he is not in the mood i can't sneak off and play on my own ....without it being obvious!

[Bunnylove]

Hey emmabunny!

 

Firstly I am glad to hear you are being open minded about porn...NORMALY there shouldnt be a problem with it...hell...when my boyf was out and I felt horny I would watch the porn he had saved in his computer. But when we were together he didnt wana watch it as he felt no need with me being there. However I wouldnt have minded him watching porn on his own when I'm not around, if a guy feels a need to let off some steem, porn helps him do that.

 

But I think you right to be a lil worried in your situation. It seems like there is an unhealthy balance there and there will be some reason behind it. I would really try to talk to you hubby again about this. If he doesnt want to talk about it then there is def a problem here. Most guys would be very happy to have a girlfriend who is as up for sex as you are.

 

I saw a program on the tele once...it is called 'the sex doctor' or something. They put camera's around the house of a couple including bedroom to sort out the problems of sex lives. There was one time a girl who had an extreemly large sex drive but her partner's was not all that big. They would have good sex only when they were being filmed on the webcam to internet viewers. This was the only time when the guy could really get off and enjoy himself. The problem was that his girlfriends sex drive intimidated him and because he couldnt keep up, he felt like less of a man. But when the camera's were on him he could live out in a fantasy like situation, so he could pretend he wasnt himself. I'm wondering if like this guy, your guy is intimidated by your sex drive. This can be very off putting. I bet if you tried to back off a bit..he would begin to seek YOU out for sex. But I also dont see anything wrong with only wanting sex every few days rather than every day. Maybe YOU could try using porn/vibrator..whatver to help yourself out more when he isnt in the mood. (but only when alone).

 

With the couple that I was talking about, they gave them some advice which seemed to work in the end. Firstly they used magnets on thier fridge as a like 'sex drive o meter' or something. Every day they would put thier magnets on the fridge next to each other. At the bottom ment they were not horny at all...top meant extreemly horny etc.....to begin with her magnet was ALWAYS at the top and his was somewhere near the bottom. As time went on her magnet went down and his went up untill his was eventually ubove hers. At this point he felt so good about it, his magnet kept going up. The point was to make him feel less intimidated by her sex drive. But of course they had to find ways to make hers go 'down' and his go 'up.

 

One of the things they did for her was to make a room into her little private room for masterbation. She was NOT aloud to masterbate infront of him as this would make him feel worse. They bought her a whole cabenet full of toys to try out. Every time she felt horny, she would go into her room and play alone with her toys. This could be up to three times a day..sometimes more. becasue she no longer went to him for sex, she felt she could now take care of her own urges. He felt less 'used' to comply to her sexual demands.

 

Another thing they knowticed was that she would constantly be touching him...mostly in sexual ways throughout the day. He would be trying to cook a meal and have conversation with her...but all she wanted was nookie so she would paw at him constantly, kiss him, grab his butt etc. They stopped her doing that to him as she was being too folward and constantly reminding him of her need for sex that he couldnt supply. So they told her off for this behavior and so she went with it and backed off.

 

The next thing they did was to stop all the filming on the webcam for a week. they said it had got to un unhealthy level. They said it would be better to not be bringing in other people but to try making love on thier own. The camera was just an aid for him to get into a fantasy situation and was just plaine kinky for her and she loved sex no matter what!

 

Another thing they found si when they were actually making love, it was always the girl that was in control. She would make the first move and would never spend much time on forplay for HIM. They suggested that she spend way more time pleasing HIM. so she would relax him with massaging oil's and spend time kissing and loving hid whole body. They also suggested they she be on top more. This helped her feel that she was more incontrol of her orgasms and put less pressure on his to make her come. Also he loved this as all he now had to do was relax and enjoy rather that worry himself about his performance. they also tought them 'the cat' possition which was something new to try and would give her better orgasms.

 

Anyway they went along with it for a week or two. Surely enough, his magnet went up, and hers went down...untill her magnet was always in the middle and his was just above.

 

 

I hope you have enjoyed the storey of the couple and i thought about it as it might seem that your guy could be feeling intimidated about your sex drive. I would also recomend getting out of the routine of once in the morning and once at night. Dont you guys get to spen afternoons and evening together? if not...maybe you should find a way..at least once a week...its important for your relationship as well as for sex to do this.

 

 

I would suggest that he tries to come off porn for maybe a week or two. YOU try by whatever means to tackle your sex drive when your alone. This way he will come to YOU for sex more...and you wont feel so needy that you ravage him when he does. Be cool with him, it will give him more of a challange and he might feel more in control of the situation. Maybe try some of the other techniques that this couple did. Even if it doesnt work for you, you only live once and its worth a try!

 

much love as always

 

xoxo

[candamar]

So how about making your own porn? Take photos and videos of the two of you acting out your fantasies together?

 

There's nothing boosts a mans ego more than to actually see himself doing all the things he fantasises about. I'd bet money he'd look at those images far more than those of strangers. Plus he'd probably show much more interest in sex as he'll likely be thinking of new pictures and videos to create so he can masturbate over them when you're not about.

 

I personally don't have a problem with porn, but i know for a fact that given access to all the porn in the world, my lover will choose the photos and videos of me and him everytime.

 

Try it, it's fun!

[Bunnylove]

I think that is a great idea if it was just about her disliking porn or that they just needed to spice things up a little. However I wouldnt suggest it in this case. I think emma is missing the attension and he is spending way too much time on porn and less and less time on her. I think its best to start by taking a break from the whole porn issue and find ways to be close to each other. It really is about communication though. Neither of you seem to be happy sexually and the suggestion above might end up becomming another habbit. You need to spend some time getting to know each other more, as the situation isnt working as it is. Talk to him about his sex life and think of questions that will help you understand him better and in return put across what YOUR likes and dislikes are. I wouldnt nag him about porn or make him feel wrong for using it, tell him it upsets you and WHY it upsets you. Its pretty obvious to me why it upsets you but maybe he doesnt fully get it. Its time for you to step up to the plate and get things out in the open with him. Time for you both to explore each other sexualy, and the biggest sexual organ in the body is the brain. I'm hoping your bf is open and communicative enough to have a discussion about your sex life....if he wont then i dont see how you can move past this. But i did give some suggestions before!!

 

Good luck girl! xoxo