Ex has major issues

[Chronotrgr]

For a lot of people I think it's a coping mechanism, my now ex girlfriend was in a 5 year relationship before me and once she left that guy, she wound up going out with someone for 2 or 3 months who was a complete nutjob, she didn't even like him yet wound up doing every sexual thing imaginable with him, it's pretty disgusting to think about and because of her mistake I was repulsed by her for many months on end, take solace that it doesn't always work out hunky dory for the exes, I don't think my ex will move on from me the way she did from him but damn she's colder and meaner than ever, my advice, life's too short, don't get hung up on stuff, diminish contact and plough forward.

[Satu]

Snip.

 

 

*It id not meant to be. I find myself just hoping this rs will fail and he will regret his decision. I Cant ever go back i know that so i dont know why it bothers me.

 

I suppose because he is happy and i am in mourning.

 

What you are going through is normal and to be expected, but the only way to ease your present pain is NC.

 

It does this in 2 ways:

 

 

1. It protects you from further hurt.

 

2. It allows you to heal without being distracted by your ex.

 

 

Because you are not doing NC, you are causing yourself further hurt, and you are distracted from your healing by your ex.

 

At this stage, any kind of contact with him will upset you. Even a quick look at his social media will upset you.

 

QED.

 

 

Pull the plug and detox.

[BriNyc82]

I'm wondering one thing? Why are you going thru all this? Do you like drama? You didn't want him back after he dumped you, right? Then why oh why are you doing the exact opposite of what you should be doing?

 

 

Why have you NOT blocked him on FB and any other social media? Why have you not told mutual friends to NOT share anything about him? Why are you having ANY contact vs. NC?

 

 

You need to wrap your head around moving on w/out him. You clearly don't want to do that and seem to enjoy this drama? Worry about you and your future vs. a guy from you past.

 

 

As far as "how can someone move on so fast"? I agree that in most LTR's, when it is ended, the person has checked out and left the relationship a long time before the decision was made. There's no rule book as to how long you need to be alone before dating or getting in another relationship. If someone was miserable with their last R/S, they'd be thrilled to be in a new, exciting one w/someone they like.

 

 

Do yourself a favor. You now the drill about NC. Do it so you can move on.

 

Agreed. You really need to block this guy on FB. I know how hard it is and it sucks. I blocked my ex about a week after we split. And it was the best thing for ME b/c now there wasn't any "new" information popping up for me to replay in my head. I have enough things swirling around my head. Now I need more stuff to start assuming things? Please do yourself a favor. For your own sanity. FB isn't even real. Delete him.

 

I also agree, you are the one who didn't want him back, but you don't want him to be with anyone else either. It's kind of not fair. If you don't want to be with him, let him go. I know it's hard.

[Meli22]

Sometimes people move on fast because they can't stand to be alone. Everyone is different. My situation was exactly the same as yours. My ex had doubts for months, we decided to break up. 3 weeks later it all "hit" him and he realised what he'd lost. I gave him another chance, but changed my mind a week later because he didn't seem so sincere and I felt he still didn't know what he wanted. Also he had treated me terribly in the past so that tipped my decision. We had eachother on Facebook still at this point and the second we broke up he added a bunch of girls, put up a ton of selfies etc. I knew it was just him lashing out because I broke things off with him. By the way, we're not friends on Facebook anymore.. This was just the same night that we broke up.

 

I can't speak for your ex and his reasons but it's best for you to just try your best to leave him behind. He chose to leave you, let him deal with that. You don't want somebody who doesn't want you, so go find someone who does (when you're ready). Oh and cut him off completely! Don't let him think he has you on his back burner.

[Brokenmech]

I can appreciate that but this was the 6th time he broke up with me. And it was 3 months of hell for me leading up to it because he was cold and withdrawn and wouldnt talk about it. I tried so hard to save it because i love him. But i just couldn't take him back again. I wanted to..but i just couldnt. I cant trust him. He keeps hurting me.

 

You have broken up with each other 6 times. This should tell you that although you do have feelings for each other it just doesn't work out for one reason or another. You keep trying but eventually you have to know when to call it a day.

 

I'm sorry it hurts, yes it sucks that he moved on so fast, probably a rebound but that makes no difference, it just isn't working out with you.

 

Best thing now is total NC, remove him completely from your contacts, fb etc... this will be hard but will give you time to heal and move on yourself. You will find someone more compatible for you, you deserve love and happiness too.

[Qboro90]

You say that you don't want to date him again and then go ahead and say you hope he texts you and want to get back together with him.... Which is it?!

 

You also said that he tried to reconcile a few times and you said no and wouldn't have it. I'm confused as to why you are feeling this way if you've been given the chance to get back with him and refused it. Judging by what you said in your Op, he wasn't a good BF and the last 3 months together was miserable and heart wrenching. Sounds to me like you're a bit jealous and aggravated that he's dating someone else already and that he didn't spend enough time depressed and doing everything possible to win you back.

 

Sorry for the honest truth but that's selfish and immature of you. If you really want to get over him then you need to stop contacting him and letting him contact you. That's only going to keep the wound open. Stop checking his social media and gettin updates on him. What does that do for you other than upset you?

 

You also can't be mad at him for checking your Fb. That's the world we live in today. Over analyzing the "why" is he checking is pointless. Odds are that its just an easy click while he's on Facebook to see what you're up to. If I were you I'd block him so that he's unable to check up on you. Start focusing on what you are going to do rather than involving yourself in the decisions he makes and why he's feeling the way he's feeling. Everyone copes differently. Just because he's dating someone else doesn't mean your relationship didn't mean anything to him or that it meant less than you thought. Just means that you're relationship with him is OVER. You need to come to terms with that. The sooner you do and find something or someone else, the better you'll feel.

[Dudearino]

You have broken up with each other 6 times. This should tell you that although you do have feelings for each other it just doesn't work out for one reason or another. You keep trying but eventually you have to know when to call it a day.

 

I'm sorry it hurts, yes it sucks that he moved on so fast, probably a rebound but that makes no difference, it just isn't working out with you.

 

Best thing now is total NC, remove him completely from your contacts, fb etc... this will be hard but will give you time to heal and move on yourself. You will find someone more compatible for you, you deserve love and happiness too.

 

My ex and I have broke up several times as well. Granted I believe the younger these break ups happen the more chances down the road it could *possibly* work. After more experience, and you happen to be at the same place at the time.

 

Regardless I do agree with you just NC. Get that clear mind see things from the outside looking in. Thats the perspective you want to achieve. To see both sides. To see what went wrong so you never hurt anyone again for those reasons. Everything is a learning experience, but don't put too much hope in what you do. Positivity is the goal. Everything else will fall in place

[ExpatInItaly]

As others have said, he was already checked out when you broke up this last time. If you had broken up that many times before, then I have to say he was never fully invested in the first place. Not in the way you were. Men who really love you don't push you out over and over like that. Him checking your FB profile and emailing for a coffee are not signals he wants to reconcile. He is likely just curious (FB) and wanted to make himself feel less guilty about hurting you again (coffee invitation) So while you are in mourning, he is moving on more easily because he was not totally into the relationship anyway. Good for you for shutting down the coffee suggestion. There's no sense contiuing this toxic pattern.

 

Now, block him on social media. He doesn't need updates on your life. Kindly but firmly tell your mutual friends that you don't wish to hear about him either. Why did they tell you about his new girlfriend, anyway?

[BC1980]

Did he initiate the 6 breakups? If he broke up with you 6 times, he was minimally invested during the relationship. Honestly, and this will hurt badly, I think he kept going back to you because there was no one else. I think my ex probably did the same thing. Just kept me around until he found someone else. Then, ended up getting engaged to the other woman pretty quickly. He had one foot out for some time, so it wasn't a big deal for him to move on.

 

I know it stings, and I'm really sorry about it. But stop following him on FB. That is just torture. Him checking your FB is curiosity on his part. Noting more. Nothing less.

[Ganz7]

I know he checks because he has mentioned things to me that he could only of known by looking at fb.

 

Im struggling with the whole thing. I know people move on but god it seems fast. Its like he has just repreplaced me with someone else and gone on merrily with his life. He even does things with her that we used to love doing together.

 

It id not meant to be. I find myself just hoping this rs will fail and he will regret his decision. I Cant ever go back i know that so i dont know why it bothers me.

 

I suppose because he is happy and i am in mourning.

 

Hey, I know exactly what you mean. Having accepted the fact that there could never be any reconciliation after my ex cheated on me and lived a double life for 7 months one of the only remaining question I have left is the one you are having: How could she just leave me after all those years? Was it all a lie, when did she decide to live a double life and so on.

 

How could they just walk away from it all. I guess we will never know the answer. It's probably the same kind of reasons why some people do and some people don't. We don't know. Who knows why some can cheat and some wouldn't cheat. The cheaters cheat that is why they are cheaters!

 

He probably doesn't really know himself how he could do it. However, take solace, if you need to, in the knowledge that he will think of you often. More often than not. I have done this with my previous girlfriends. Since the break up I have even met up with them again. Not like anything will happen but it's been nice to now I have them as friends for drinks and on fb. Funnily enough they have told me that they often wondered how I was and what I was doing and remembered all the good laughs we had.

[foolinlove79]

Some very good advice here. I probably havent recovered much because of keeping contact and checking social media. I really do need to stop this and accept it is over.

 

I think that i dont think he deserves to be happy with someon else so soon after me. I honestly think on some level he did care. But a comment on here from someone saying he just hadnt met someone else is probably very true. I do know when we broke up in the past he has been on dating sites very fast and it probably just never worked out so he came back. And i take him cos i care and hope it will ve different.

 

I need to appreciate at the end of the day we are not compatible and cant make each other happy together.

 

I also read something about people who fall in and out of love at the drop of a hat. And this is him. I dont want to be with someone like that because i know the pain it causes and the damage it does to the rs. I think all the bu over yhe years have done the most damage cos it is always in the back of your mind and stresses the rs.

 

I have to stop looking at social media.

Ideally i would like to be at a point where i can say we dont work and i dont want you so be happy with someone else.

 

It sucks. You invest time and energy and there is love there. I guess sometimes thats just not enough though

 

Thanks everyone.

[foolinlove79]

Hey all. I am starting to think i may be better off now. Its been a few months now and my ex is blissfully happy with someone else.

 

But ive been thinking about our rs and really how crap it was.

 

He is very selfish. Whenever id try to discuss any issue with him he would turn it around on me or bu because how could i be happy with him if i had any issue at all.

 

He is immature and thinks an rs should be blissfully happthappy indefinitely. Cant deal with after the honeymoon stage.

 

He is ****ed financially and is terrible with money.

 

The entire rs was all about him and on his terms.

 

He falls in and out of love at the drop of a hat so you cant rely on him to be there.

 

His hobbies and interests always come before you. Always.

 

You get caught up and believe what they say and that they mean it when they say i love you. But actions speak louder then words dont they.

 

The above could not change. I think i might be better off. I feel sorry for the next one. He will be on his best behavior ar first and she will think he is this great guy. She will feel sorry for how his exs treated him. She doesnt know what she is getting into...

[aloneinaz]

MOST people and I know there are exceptions, are back on solid footing after 3 months post break up. They've reached the acceptance stage and had time away to access that the relationship needed to end. In your case, it REALLY needed to end w/all the off/on break ups it incurred.

 

 

Now, your challenge is to STOP obsessing about this PAST relationship and focus on your future. Get out there and start casually dating. Your ex moved on is enjoying his new girl and relationship and you should be doing the same.

 

 

Last thought.. Just remember that every time you discuss this ex w/friends or on this board, it keeps it at the top of your thoughts. It's NOT a good place for it to be. Again, it's been 3 months and I'm sure you've beat the dead body to death. Bury it so it doesn't stink up the place.

 

 

I'm glad you've reached this point.

[LYNNLH]

MOST people and I know there are exceptions, are back on solid footing after 3 months post break up. They've reached the acceptance stage and had time away to access that the relationship needed to end. In your case, it REALLY needed to end w/all the off/on break ups it incurred.

 

 

Now, your challenge is to STOP obsessing about this PAST relationship and focus on your future. Get out there and start casually dating. Your ex moved on is enjoying his new girl and relationship and you should be doing the same.

 

 

Last thought.. Just remember that every time you discuss this ex w/friends or on this board, it keeps it at the top of your thoughts. It's NOT a good place for it to be. Again, it's been 3 months and I'm sure you've beat the dead body to death. Bury it so it doesn't stink up the place.

 

 

I'm glad you've reached this point.

 

While I agree with alone in his response to OP, I still do not think that we really need to get out there and date to truly move on and be happy.

 

I'm at a stage where I smile when I talk, laugh with my friends and colleagues, comfortable just staying home and reading etc. AND I haven't dated since I was blind-sided in a cruel breakup back in January of this year. And that was a 7 years live-in RS.

 

Honestly, I was a wreck in the beginning and was posting in LS. Little did I expect that I would recover in such a short time. Less than half a year. What helped me tremendously was my Faith (I'm a Christian) and I started to focus on learning love myself and God.

 

I have come to this stage that I am learning I do not need to depend on anyone to move on. Not dating. Not men.

 

While I have not given up on dating, I don't think it's really a need to get out there and date while you are still recovering. Learn to be comfortable alone first. While I do not want to push religion on anyone, I must admit that finding God's love healed me the most. I realized to be happy, I only need God's approval and no one else.

 

While dating is a good distraction for some people, if you have not learned to love and be comfortable alone, you will still find yourself hurting if you happen to like a guy on the date and he doesn't reciprocates..then it will be heartbreak all over again. We have seen this happen for many posters who had to face new heartbreaks while they haven't even gotten over the previous one.

 

Do whatever it takes for you, OP..but learn to be comfortable alone first. Love yourself. Stay single and once you have totally recovered, then you can embark on the next RS.

 

It did for me. I got hurt badly in January. Its August now. I'm smiling, happy, joking ...and single!

[foolinlove79]

While I agree with alone in his response to OP, I still do not think that we really need to get out there and date to truly move on and be happy.

 

I'm at a stage where I smile when I talk, laugh with my friends and colleagues, comfortable just staying home and reading etc. AND I haven't dated since I was blind-sided in a cruel breakup back in January of this year. And that was a 7 years live-in RS.

 

Honestly, I was a wreck in the beginning and was posting in LS. Little did I expect that I would recover in such a short time. Less than half a year. What helped me tremendously was my Faith (I'm a Christian) and I started to focus on learning love myself and God.

 

I have come to this stage that I am learning I do not need to depend on anyone to move on. Not dating. Not men.

 

While I have not given up on dating, I don't think it's really a need to get out there and date while you are still recovering. Learn to be comfortable alone first. While I do not want to push religion on anyone, I must admit that finding God's love healed me the most. I realized to be happy, I only need God's approval and no one else.

 

While dating is a good distraction for some people, if you have not learned to love and be comfortable alone, you will still find yourself hurting if you happen to like a guy on the date and he doesn't reciprocates..then it will be heartbreak all over again. We have seen this happen for many posters who had to face new heartbreaks while they haven't even gotten over the previous one.

 

Do whatever it takes for you, OP..but learn to be comfortable alone first. Love yourself. Stay single and once you have totally recovered, then you can embark on the next RS.

 

It did for me. I got hurt badly in January. Its August now. I'm smiling, happy, joking ...and single!

 

I agree. I actually have no interest in dating right now. I hope to be happy on my own before dating again and it is going to take time.

 

A lot of the people on here advise to date but i know at this point it wont make me feel any better. For some i am sure it works and good for them.

[aloneinaz]

While I agree with alone in his response to OP, I still do not think that we really need to get out there and date to truly move on and be happy.

 

 

I absolutely agree that you don't have to date to move on to find happiness. With enough time passing w/NC and everyone should be feeling better after a few months. I also totally agree that you shouldn't NEED a significant other to feel happy, whole or complete. Being co-dependent is not a good thing.

 

 

While I have not given up on dating, I don't think it's really a need to get out there and date while you are still recovering. Learn to be comfortable alone first.

 

 

While dating is a good distraction for some people, if you have not learned to love and be comfortable alone, you will still find yourself hurting if you happen to like a guy on the date and he doesn't reciprocates..then it will be heartbreak all over again. We have seen this happen for many posters who had to face new heartbreaks while they haven't even gotten over the previous one.

 

 

 

 

I see people suggest that you should FULLY "recover" and spend copious amount of time alone before dating again on this site. We have to accept that EVERYONE dating is in some stage of recovery from their last relationship. I think it would be pretty rare to have a date with someone that is totally over their last ex, especially if they haven't dated much since the break up. Then the question of how much time should someone spend alone to "heal" after a break up is raised. Obviously it's a case by case basis though most would agree that you should be back on your feet and feeling much better after 3-4 months.

 

 

Again, I'll agree that if someone is still so fragile from their last break up that a possible date rejection causes you grief, you shouldn't be out there yet. You need to spend more time on shoring up your self esteem and your confidence so you don't take simple rejection like that personally.

 

 

Dating and relationships have a risk of rejection, it comes with the process. Most successful daters learn to have thicker skin while doing it.

 

 

What I've learned personally and reading many thousands of threads on this site is what works for some doesn't work for others. Some, like this poster (LYNN), is choosing to not date yet from a breakup 8 months ago. I started to casually date again after 6 weeks of healing from a 1.3 year R/S. Many will say it was way too soon. I was hiding and distracting my feelings and would only lead to a rebound.

 

 

In my case, I felt it was a good thing for ME. I wanted to move on from my last R/S. Sitting home and obsessing about someone who didn't want me for months was not appealing. It also increased my chances of trying to get her back which I didn't want to do. Getting some attention from the opposite sex was great for my damaged self esteem. Having dates, conversation and laughs with a woman again, did more to make me feel back to normal than any other thing I did while healing. It is a positive distraction. I dated a few women and then was lucky enough to meet my now 2 year GF and we live together. She had also come out of a lousy relationship a few months before we meet. You'd think we be each others "rebounds" but.. we've dated longer than she did with her ex and I did with mine.

 

 

One thing I hate to see on this site is the posters who've chosen to not date for an extended period of time due to not healing from a break up. So, they stay consumed and mired in the failed R/S and at times become obsessed with their ex. You then see them post that it's been anywhere from 6 months to a year and they can't get over it. Just my thinking out loud here but.. if you never chose to date and possibly have someone new in your life, who else are you going to think of? I really believe in the saying of "you'll never completely get over you last partner until you get under your new one".

 

 

Again, I'm not suggesting what I did is "correct", I'm only sharing that it helped me break away for good from a toxic/dysfunctional ex. This is why I try to suggest to people to not overlooking sticking their toes back into the dating arena when a few months have past. They will know if they are ready and shouldn't feel like they have to wait X amount of time alone before they do so.

[foolinlove79]

I absolutely agree that you don't have to date to move on to find happiness. With enough time passing w/NC and everyone should be feeling better after a few months. I also totally agree that you shouldn't NEED a significant other to feel happy, whole or complete. Being co-dependent is not a good thing.

 

I see people suggest that you should FULLY "recover" and spend copious amount of time alone before dating again on this site. We have to accept that EVERYONE dating is in some stage of recovery from their last relationship. I think it would be pretty rare to have a date with someone that is totally over their last ex, especially if they haven't dated much since the break up. Then the question of how much time should someone spend alone to "heal" after a break up is raised. Obviously it's a case by case basis though most would agree that you should be back on your feet and feeling much better after 3-4 months.

 

 

Again, I'll agree that if someone is still so fragile from their last break up that a possible date rejection causes you grief, you shouldn't be out there yet. You need to spend more time on shoring up your self esteem and your confidence so you don't take simple rejection like that personally.

 

 

Dating and relationships have a risk of rejection, it comes with the process. Most successful daters learn to have thicker skin while doing it.

 

 

What I've learned personally and reading many thousands of threads on this site is what works for some doesn't work for others. Some, like this poster (LYNN), is choosing to not date yet from a breakup 8 months ago. I started to casually date again after 6 weeks of healing from a 1.3 year R/S. Many will say it was way too soon. I was hiding and distracting my feelings and would only lead to a rebound.

 

 

In my case, I felt it was a good thing for ME. I wanted to move on from my last R/S. Sitting home and obsessing about someone who didn't want me for months was not appealing. It also increased my chances of trying to get her back which I didn't want to do. Getting some attention from the opposite sex was great for my damaged self esteem. Having dates, conversation and laughs with a woman again, did more to make me feel back to normal than any other thing I did while healing. It is a positive distraction. I dated a few women and then was lucky enough to meet my now 2 year GF and we live together. She had also come out of a lousy relationship a few months before we meet. You'd think we be each others "rebounds" but.. we've dated longer than she did with her ex and I did with mine.

 

 

One thing I hate to see on this site is the posters who've chosen to not date for an extended period of time due to not healing from a break up. So, they stay consumed and mired in the failed R/S and at times become obsessed with their ex. You then see them post that it's been anywhere from 6 months to a year and they can't get over it. Just my thinking out loud here but.. if you never chose to date and possibly have someone new in your life, who else are you going to think of? I really believe in the saying of "you'll never completely get over you last partner until you get under your new one".

 

 

Again, I'm not suggesting what I did is "correct", I'm only sharing that it helped me break away for good from a toxic/dysfunctional ex. This is why I try to suggest to people to not overlooking sticking their toes back into the dating arena when a few months have past. They will know if they are ready and shouldn't feel like they have to wait X amount of time alone before they do so.

 

It sounds like it worked out well for you. And i am happy it has.

 

But i think for me i have realised i am co-dependent And that is a huge part of why i allowed someone to treat me badly and keep taking them back. Also low self esteem.

 

I dont want to be in another rs like that. I could jump on a dating site today and start dating again but i suspect i would end up attracting the same sort of person and having not worked on my own issues allow yhr cycle to repeat.

 

It really is time for me to find happiness in my own life without another person involved. I want to have a full and happy life and then bring someone into that. Not look to another to make me happy.

[foolinlove79]

I absolutely agree that you don't have to date to move on to find happiness. With enough time passing w/NC and everyone should be feeling better after a few months. I also totally agree that you shouldn't NEED a significant other to feel happy, whole or complete. Being co-dependent is not a good thing.

 

 

 

 

 

I see people suggest that you should FULLY "recover" and spend copious amount of time alone before dating again on this site. We have to accept that EVERYONE dating is in some stage of recovery from their last relationship. I think it would be pretty rare to have a date with someone that is totally over their last ex, especially if they haven't dated much since the break up. Then the question of how much time should someone spend alone to "heal" after a break up is raised. Obviously it's a case by case basis though most would agree that you should be back on your feet and feeling much better after 3-4 months.

 

 

Again, I'll agree that if someone is still so fragile from their last break up that a possible date rejection causes you grief, you shouldn't be out there yet. You need to spend more time on shoring up your self esteem and your confidence so you don't take simple rejection like that personally.

 

 

Dating and relationships have a risk of rejection, it comes with the process. Most successful daters learn to have thicker skin while doing it.

 

 

What I've learned personally and reading many thousands of threads on this site is what works for some doesn't work for others. Some, like this poster (LYNN), is choosing to not date yet from a breakup 8 months ago. I started to casually date again after 6 weeks of healing from a 1.3 year R/S. Many will say it was way too soon. I was hiding and distracting my feelings and would only lead to a rebound.

 

 

In my case, I felt it was a good thing for ME. I wanted to move on from my last R/S. Sitting home and obsessing about someone who didn't want me for months was not appealing. It also increased my chances of trying to get her back which I didn't want to do. Getting some attention from the opposite sex was great for my damaged self esteem. Having dates, conversation and laughs with a woman again, did more to make me feel back to normal than any other thing I did while healing. It is a positive distraction. I dated a few women and then was lucky enough to meet my now 2 year GF and we live together. She had also come out of a lousy relationship a few months before we meet. You'd think we be each others "rebounds" but.. we've dated longer than she did with her ex and I did with mine.

 

 

One thing I hate to see on this site is the posters who've chosen to not date for an extended period of time due to not healing from a break up. So, they stay consumed and mired in the failed R/S and at times become obsessed with their ex. You then see them post that it's been anywhere from 6 months to a year and they can't get over it. Just my thinking out loud here but.. if you never chose to date and possibly have someone new in your life, who else are you going to think of? I really believe in the saying of "you'll never completely get over you last partner until you get under your new one".

 

 

Again, I'm not suggesting what I did is "correct", I'm only sharing that it helped me break away for good from a toxic/dysfunctional ex. This is why I try to suggest to people to not overlooking sticking their toes back into the dating arena when a few months have past. They will know if they are ready and shouldn't feel like they have to wait X amount of time alone before they do so.

 

I very much see the appeal in dating again. I can see how that would help people move on from their ex.

 

I think in my case my problems are bigger then just that i was in a dysfunctional and toxic rs.

[aloneinaz]

I very much see the appeal in dating again. I can see how that would help people move on from their ex.

 

I think in my case my problems are bigger then just that i was in a dysfunctional and toxic rs.

 

 

You're on your way hon, to feeling better. Simply acknowledging you have some issues you need to sort out before dating again is very healthy. I couldn't agree with you more.

 

 

I also had my own issues when my last ex ended us. I didn't do anything wrong in the R/S. My problem was I stayed w/a toxic, emotionally damaged woman far longer than I should of. I was close w/my Mom. She was aware of all the drama and break ups. The last time I gave this crazy ex another shot, my Mom SCREAMED at me "What's the matter with you! That woman has way too many issues and so do you to keep going back to her"! I got my butt into therapy to figure it out. It didn't take the therapist but a few sessions to gently point out to me what MY issues were. I then addressed them w/hard work and forgave myself for putting up with her. Only then did I feel comfortable to start dating again, knowing I wouldn't continue to stick w/emotionally damaged, abusive, toxic partners.

 

 

I don't know if you're seeing a therapist, but in my case, it was the best money I spent.

Edited August 6, 2015 by aloneinaz

[Ariess10]

My ex also was selfish , I have also opened my eyes to how I was treated and now I know I will never let that happen again ..

[foolinlove79]

Does anyone else here get annoyed hearing from their ex?

 

I finally blocked my ex everywhere a few weeks ago and should of done it earlier really. He is involved with someone else and i wasnt doing myself any favours having access to how wonderful things are.

 

On my phone i have blocked him too. But i can see in spam messages he still sends me texts every couple of weeks. I have just deleted them. I deleted his number a while ago too and dont have it memorized so cant text or call even if i wanted to.

 

But from the history of our rs and the awful way it ended this time i find myself angry he does this. Why cant he just leave me be. Why does he think he has the right to do this after the ****ty way he treated me.

 

Its been hard but i am trying for the mindset that this chapter of my life is over!!!! I am moving on..

 

It just really makes me angry. The decent thing to do really would be dont contact me!!!

 

And he has a new gf. I dont know about others on here but i sure would not want my bf texting his ex.

 

VEnt over ...

[foolinlove79]

That was not supposed to be a smiley face. Lol. Supposed to be a :-(

[loveforever101]

I've only really got upset or angry when my ex texted me that she misses me. She's the one that left me soooo just no lol. But anyways I can understand why youre annoyed. I don't see why he's texting you if he has a new gf as well, maybe he just feels guilty or whatever.

[na49]

Yeah, I have my ex blocked everywhere I possibly can, but can only filter her emails to the trash folder. She emailed my school email the day before my birthday, and basically gave me the "Have a nice birthday, sorry for ruining everything, I'll always care about you, let me know if you want to be friends. This is the hardest thing I ever had to do, I'm emailing you at work" blah blah blah

 

It honestly ruined my birthday because I spent the entire day hoping she'd send me a followup email. I wondered why she sent it if she has another boyfriend (after the guy she left me for ended up dumping her). The last thing I told her was to not talk to me unless she wanted to have a committed relationship.

 

vent over.

[foolinlove79]

If he is feeling guilty that isnt my problem...

Isnt my job to make him feel better. He dumped me..again. i have NO role in his life anymore.

 

For anyone on here who is the dumper...do the decent thing and leave your ex alone.