aloneinaz Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 If he is feeling guilty that isnt my problem... Isnt my job to make him feel better. He dumped me..again. i have NO role in his life anymore. For anyone on here who is the dumper...do the decent thing and leave your ex alone. I agree that a dumper should leave the ex alone. I get it, but if you had been engaging with him at all since the break up and only are now ignoring him, it will take him a bit to figure it out. Keep ignoring him and he'll stop. Then, someday soon, you may see that he texted again, delete it, roll your eyes and not give it a second thought. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 I agree that a dumper should leave the ex alone. I get it, but if you had been engaging with him at all since the break up and only are now ignoring him, it will take him a bit to figure it out. . I have not one time since the bu contacted him. He has always been the one who contacted me and ive only replied with one or two word replies. So i would think he would get the point from that....and i personally think its disgusting he is doing it behind his girlfriends back. If someone doesnt contact youEVER then they dont really want to hear from you. And for me personally...hope i never hear from him again. NC is definately the way to go. Link to post Share on other sites
LYNNLH Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 Keep ignoring him and he'll stop. Then, someday soon, you may see that he texted again, delete it, roll your eyes and not give it a second thought. I agree with Alone. OP..I have since come to this stage where I do exactly that. I think the last straw has does it for him last month. I reckon he has stopped. I mean, who has the mood to keep texting when he hears nothing in return. Give him time. I mean you have responded in the past and that is why he keeps doing this. He will get the message. Probably later but he will stop eventually. What he does behind his GF's back is no longer a concern for you. Just be glad that you are no longer with this man. Hang in there girl. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 I have not one time since the bu contacted him. He has always been the one who contacted me and ive only replied with one or two word replies. So i would think he would get the point from that....and i personally think its disgusting he is doing it behind his girlfriends back. If someone doesnt contact youEVER then they dont really want to hear from you. And for me personally...hope i never hear from him again. NC is definately the way to go. This was my point. Had you flat ignored him in the past, like you're doing now, he would of gotten bored and stopped texting you a while ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 This was my point. Had you flat ignored him in the past, like you're doing now, he would of gotten bored and stopped texting you a while ago. In hindsight i probably should of gone nc 2 months ago. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted August 11, 2015 Author Share Posted August 11, 2015 What he does behind his GF's back is no longer a concern for you. Just be glad that you are no longer with this man. Hang in there girl. you are right. I feel sorry for her but. She would be thinking she has met this great guy. she doesnt know what she is getting into...but she is an adult so yes not my concern Link to post Share on other sites
Simon Phoenix Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 (edited) Edit: Saw you blocked him. Disregard. Edited August 11, 2015 by Simon Phoenix Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted August 12, 2015 Author Share Posted August 12, 2015 And somehow i feel guilty for ignoring him. What a joke. Well im sure that guilt will pass too...cos i aint replying Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted August 14, 2015 Author Share Posted August 14, 2015 I dont know how to get over this. I think i am some days and then something happens and i realise how damaged i am and how much i hurt. I was out today in town walking and go past all these places we used to go to. I really wanted to break down. So sad. I joined a gym. I volunteer. I made new friends. I make plans. Nothing is working. Despite how he treated me i still love him and miss him terribly. I hate he is in a new rs and they seem bk Blissfully happy. She seems to have and do all the things he wanted and that i am not. I am so sad and brokeN. I dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Fortunesfool 79 Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 I know the feeling.....the only thing you can do for yourself is to keep moving forward. It takes time to heal. Just know you're not alone there others going through it to. I come here like therapy to try and talk about it and it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted August 14, 2015 Author Share Posted August 14, 2015 I know the feeling.....the only thing you can do for yourself is to keep moving forward. It takes time to heal. Just know you're not alone there others going through it to. I come here like therapy to try and talk about it and it helps. I dont feel like i am moving forward. I feel like i am in limbo. I want to get over this. I really do. Its so hard with all the memories. I go out and then its just reminders everywhere. Link to post Share on other sites
loveforever101 Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 I am in a similar situation, it sucks but I know it will get better over time. Try not to get yourself down, have a positive attitude. Instead of getting down just remind yourself that you have so much value and that it really is HIS loss. That's how I try to get by... and don't sorry about him being happy in this new relationship, I'm sure it will all go downhill sooner or later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted August 14, 2015 Author Share Posted August 14, 2015 I am in a similar situation, it sucks but I know it will get better over time. Try not to get yourself down, have a positive attitude. Instead of getting down just remind yourself that you have so much value and that it really is HIS loss. That's how I try to get by... and don't sorry about him being happy in this new relationship, I'm sure it will all go downhill sooner or later. Thank you. I am very down at the moment. And i feel like every criticism he has every made to me is true. I just think who would want to date me if all these things he has pointed out to me are true.... I find it really hard to open up to people. I am quite shy and introverted too. It takes time for me to build a connection. And i did open up more to him than anyone else in a long time. He obviously didnt like what he saw. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 I dont feel like i am moving forward. I feel like i am in limbo. I want to get over this. I really do. Its so hard with all the memories. I go out and then its just reminders everywhere. "Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're right". You REALLY need to make a decision to STOP obsessing over this guy? How many months have past by since you broke up? It's truly a mental choice you have to make to "let go" and say no person is worth the hell I'm putting myself through. If you're doing all the things you stated, you just have to give it more time. What you should also do is- * Not stalk him on social media or get updates from people he knows. * Stop thinking about him so much. Keep your mind occupied when you're home. * Get out there and casually date. It would be a great distraction for you and take your mind off him. What if you met some guy and REALLY fell head over heals after a few dates? I bet this ex would vanish from your mind. * While it can help to vent on sites like this about an ex, just understand that it's keeping him and that failed relationship in the front of your mind. There's a lot of truth to the expression of "you can't get over your last love until you're under your new one".. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
loveforever101 Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Thank you. I am very down at the moment. And i feel like every criticism he has every made to me is true. I just think who would want to date me if all these things he has pointed out to me are true.... I find it really hard to open up to people. I am quite shy and introverted too. It takes time for me to build a connection. And i did open up more to him than anyone else in a long time. He obviously didnt like what he saw. I have the exact same type of personality unless I'm with a bunch of friends. Its normal to feel worthless when you get dumped but just know you're not. I thought the same thing for a while but you just have to wake up from all this and realize your self worth. Its not you he is just selfish, hang in there girl. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fortunesfool 79 Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 You can't take his criticism to heart. You don't know how long he was interested in moving on and was being overly critical because of his issues. Also, you can't dwell on his new relationship. However it ends up, it is no longer your problem. You getting to a better mind state for you is what is important. I know its easier said than done but unfortunately that's the way it is. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 Thank you. I am very down at the moment. And i feel like every criticism he has every made to me is true. I just think who would want to date me if all these things he has pointed out to me are true.... I find it really hard to open up to people. I am quite shy and introverted too. It takes time for me to build a connection. And i did open up more to him than anyone else in a long time. He obviously didnt like what he saw. Maybe during your downtime you should invest in reading on improving your self esteem and confidence in yourself. NO ONE is perfect and we all have our faults. My last ex was horrid to me and also pointed out flaws. I let it bother me for a VERY short while before I started dating again. All the things she said didn't stop me from having plenty of dates and then meeting my beautiful GF I've had in my life for 2 years now. At the end of the day, people who criticize and pick on others are VERY insecure about themselves. Who gives a crap what they think or say. Chances are, it's not the truth anyway. If there were some negative things he said that you agree with and you can fix/address, do it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author foolinlove79 Posted August 14, 2015 Author Share Posted August 14, 2015 Maybe during your downtime you should invest in reading on improving your self esteem and confidence in yourself. NO ONE is perfect and we all have our faults. My last ex was horrid to me and also pointed out flaws. I let it bother me for a VERY short while before I started dating again. All the things she said didn't stop me from having plenty of dates and then meeting my beautiful GF I've had in my life for 2 years now. At the end of the day, people who criticize and pick on others are VERY insecure about themselves. Who gives a crap what they think or say. Chances are, it's not the truth anyway. If there were some negative things he said that you agree with and you can fix/address, do it. He didnt like some things about my personality. I wont go into it but they are things that make me who i am and are part of me. I dont think i could change them honestly. Its just me. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 He didnt like some things about my personality. I wont go into it but they are things that make me who i am and are part of me. I dont think i could change them honestly. Its just me. Well, you're not with him any longer so who gives a fluck what he thinks.. Not everyone likes everyone. There's people we connect with and people we simply don't. This is why there's the dating period. You try someone on to see if it has the potential for LT. After the honeymoon phase ends, you see their true selves. Only then do you realize if you REALLY like/love that person, their flaws and all. SSTTOOPP giving this guy so much power! Again, make a decision to say "enough", and stop dwelling on it. Go out and date, get laid and enjoy life. There's MILLIONS of single people looking for their next great love. Why not join them! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
erklat Posted August 14, 2015 Share Posted August 14, 2015 * Not stalk him on social media or get updates from people he knows. * Stop thinking about him so much. Keep your mind occupied when you're home. * Get out there and casually date. It would be a great distraction for you and take your mind off him. What if you met some guy and REALLY fell head over heals after a few dates? I bet this ex would vanish from your mind. * While it can help to vent on sites like this about an ex, just understand that it's keeping him and that failed relationship in the front of your mind. This doesn't always count. You would have extremely hard time to outmatch me in the changes I managed to achieve since ex who broke me brought me here. However, you have to accept each micro victory as they come and the fact that some people are never meant to be truly happy. Intelligent people rarely are actually. Link to post Share on other sites
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