GF broke up with me after our first Argument

[harkkam]

Hi guys, I need help sorting through this mess. I'm 28 and she's 31. We had a great 2.5 months together or so I thought. I was very much in love with her and I thought she was as well.

 

She would always tell me how attractive I am, how special I make her feel, how well we get along and how we would be together for a long time because of our compatibility. She was always caring and attentive and tried to be as well. I would do sweet things for her and vice versa.

 

We never had a single argument up to this date, not even a tiff or any harsh words.

 

One day I was in a bad mood and feeling snappy, normally I'm mature enough to not take it out on people that I love and care about. But on that day I was upset and moody.

 

I sent her a text about our weekend plans and she didn't reply for over an hour. Normally I couldn't care less, there were times I wouldn't reply for six hours.

 

Text Convo:

 

Me:

Hey we need to talk

I know you have your phone on you all the time so I'm not sure why it takes you so long to respond especially when we go on our dates you are texting almost half the time

 

(I way over exaggerated how much she texts on our dates maybe she looks at her phone once or twice and sends like two text messages....I just found something and ran with it to be upset about)

 

I think my moodiness has to do with me trying to stop my depression medication too suddenly. It was giving me sexual problems and I didn't want that to come between us.

 

Her:

Hey I'm eating I went back to sleep. ..u need to chill n we can talk when ur not so rude

 

Me:

Sorry I'm just a bit frustrated...

 

Her:

I will talk to you when you are more calm. Ttyl.

Please don't reach out to me until you can speak to me respectfully.

 

Me:

Okay

Can I call you in 10 minutes?

 

(I wait for ten minutes and call her twice and she doesn't pick up)

 

Me:

I just called...and I'm not sure how I'm supposed to be more respectful...but I just want to have a calm discussion with you

If you don't want to talk to me let me know at least

Sigh

 

Her:

Yeah I'm a bit taken aback and offended that you would approach any time of convo with me in the tone you took w me. I really don't have the patience to talk to you right now. I don't tolerate that kind of attitude when all you needed to do was nicely say we should talk and it's important to me

 

Me:

Okay....I agree with you....I let my frustration get the best of me....you've been so busy this week...and we don't text much or talk much i just felt disconnected...I'm not blaming you for busy....I know that once I get a job I'll be just as busy....but there are a few things that were bothering me

I'll be honest my past relationships the other person was very defensive and in order to get my point across I had to go in with guns blazing

That was the only way I could get her attention if I was loud and brash about it

Otherwise I was just ignored

My apologizes sincerely.... I love you

And miss you very very much

 

(Just recently left a job to change fields and have gone on a couple interviews and she knows that)

 

(I wait for three hours after my last text)

 

Me:

Are you still down to go out tonight?

You don't have to answer that

I understand you may be upset so

We can worry about that later

 

Her:

I am upset and a bit disappointed that you would think you had to speak to me so harshly to make a point. I don't feel like we are on the same page right now and I don't think seeing each other tonight will go over well. Not for me at least.

 

Me:

Okay I understand

This is kind of frustrating that I want to talk to you and you're just ignoring me

So if I say something you don't like this is what you're going to do...just ignore my calls...What am I supposed to do baby I want to talk to you

I'm sure if you were upset at me for something and I just walked away from you that would make you more upset That you don't care about my feelings enough to talk to me....

 

(It had been two hours now since the start and I wanted to hash it out and getting impatient)

 

Her:

I care about your feelings but now is not the time to hash this out.

I also need some space to think about what I'm feeling

 

Me:

Okay

I'd like to say that I'm sorry and hope we can move past this

 

(No response and I waited for another hour before I sent her my next text)

 

Me:

Hey baby can we talk now? (No response)

 

Me:

Baby all I want to say is that there were some things you do/did that bothered me and hurt me and frustrated me...but I didn't know how to tell you...so it just built up inside me...day after day...until you not texting me last night just set me off

I wanted everything to be perfect

So I tried to ignore the things which bothered me

But I couldn't ignore them any longer...

I should have just told you at the moment when something bothered me but I couldn't because I'm supposed to be a man like a rock who doesn't get hurt by anything

I love you very much baby

I don't want to hurt you it's the last thing I want to do

But I know I did

Anyway I hope you understand a bit better why I lost my cool bcuz the frustration was building up and I never shared it with you

Hopefully in the future I will be more open and honest with you about how I feel so I don't just bury it underneath and pretend everything is okay

 

Her: Please give me some space I appreciate your explanation but please just let me think

 

Me: Okay...Can I ask what you're thinking about?

I won't bother you...I just want to know if our small spat has made you not want to be with me anymore

 

(No response for four hours now it's 10:00 pm the issue started at 2:00 pm)

 

Me: I guess I'll just have to keep waiting....almost six hours ago when I said we needed to talk...you keep ignoring my phone calls...I think I gave you space...not sure how long I need to wait before we can talk about this like adults

I'm not going to lie I'm losing my patience too

 

Her: I have have a lot going on the past week and I explained that to you and still flipped out on me. I need to think some things through and I will talk to you when I figure out what it is that I want.

 

Me: Can you explain what you mean by "what it is that you want?" Not sure if you're breaking up with me or not? Plus you never call me it's always me calling you...and you only talk to me for like 10 minutes....plus you text your friends when we go in a date These things bothered me...And you always tell me about when guys hit on you...And I'm not sure why you do that

I feel wrongly or rightly that you're trying to make me feel jealous it really bothers me...I love you and I want you to know that

Please don't make me the bad guy ...I had a rough week too

I just didn't know how to tell you

 

(Normally these things didn't bother me at all in our relationship I was just feeling moody)

 

Her: I'm not making anyone good or bad. I just don't appreciate u dropping all this on me now out of the blue and bringing stuff up that's been bugging u and only now ur telling me. How do u want me to react? Ur like flipping on me and making it out like I'm intentionally here trying to do stuff.

Look I need space. I'll talk to you when I figure out what it is I want or how I feel.

 

Me: Okay I'll leave you alone...but what do you mean by what it is that you want? If you want to break up then just say it

FYI I don't want to breakup

But yeah I'll give you space

Well I'm sorry for dropping these things on you

I'm not the best at this...I didn't do it intentionally

It just built up inside me I swear

I've def learned how to approach my frustrations in a more mature manner

I never said you did them intentionally Hun

Never meant to

I guess I didn't realize that one fight meant it was over...didn't realize our relationship was so fragile

And I don't want you to react in anyway Hun I just wanted to tell you how those things made me feel and I was too much of a pussy to tell you that's it

 

Her: It's not about the fight. It's about the the maturity level I thought you had.

 

Me: You have a point Not very mature on my part Well I love you

And I will try to be more mature about sharing my frustrations...but I leave that up to you Hun to decide if you think I'm still worth it

All I can say I'm sorry and I'll try to do better

 

(I leave her alone for three days of NC and not sending a single text, she reaches out to me)

 

Her: hey can we talk? I won't have time to call you between getting ready for my trip and work so let's text

 

Me: okay...I just want to say that I reacted badly because I had some trust issues in my past relationship and normally these things don't bother me at all and I'm sorry that I got upset...I just tend to take little things and assume the worst of people sometimes but you've never given me a reason to doubt you and your love. I was not in the right frame of mind and I apologize....I love you and trust you and will do my best to give you the respect you deserve

 

(This was all BS on my part trying to give her something to comprehend my behavior...I was just moody that day and snapped but didn't tell her that up front)

 

Her: I appreciate you taking a step back and realizing the issue wasn't that you couldn't talk to me but it was how you chose to speak to me. Also, it was very clear to me that you were judging me against some past habit or experience and I thought that was very unfair and immature. I came out of the ****tiest situation and I never once made you feel like I was judging you against my past nor did I ever make you feel like I didn't trust you. It was very offensive that you blew up at me even though I told you every step of the way what my schedule would be. That being said, I don't think you and I are going to move forward because at this stage in my life I've already been that girl to sit and wait for a guy to get himself together. I've also been in too many situations where a guy would flip out and then promise to change. In all honesty with my crazy work schedule and the hectic summer I

have -I don't think I have the attention to give you that you require. In the beginning i thought you werr confident and laid back but after seeing how you handled a few days of my being busy-i dont think s relationship can grow.

 

Me: (feeling really scared I started to beg and plead a bit more and try to reason with her...telling her I was sorry etc...wrote quite a few messages)

 

Her: let's talk after I come back from my trip

 

Me: okay have a safe trip

 

(Give her space for five days...she reaches out to me first)

 

Her: I thought about it on way home I just don't think we have something I can see as lasting. I felt like I had to point out things and handhold you. I don't like that you explode and blow up so easily. Your approach is very volatile and I am not getting involved with that. Sorry.

Me: (I begged and pleaded some more...got no responses...even lost my temper saying how something so small could just make her walk away...)

 

Haven't heard anything since from

 

I know I made a few mistakes:

a) being moody taking it out on her

b) making a mountain out of a mole hill (gave her a bs answer about trust when I was just moody)

c) not respecting her wish and giving her space and smothering her and inadvertently pushing her away

 

But my question is "what I did was it fair for her to judge my character and make such assumptions about me over something that was just passive aggressive"

 

In my head I thought it would have gone "sorry babe I was just a bit frustrated"

And that would be the end of that

Edited June 4, 2015 by harkkam

[mightycpa]

C'mon, you're 28 and she's 31. You are old enough to see that this act means it never would have lasted.

 

Good riddance. Move on.

[harkkam]

C'mon, you're 28 and she's 31. You are old enough to see that this act means it never would have lasted.

 

Good riddance. Move on.

 

Hey thanks for replying man...

 

 

I'm not sure if I understand what you mean by the age difference thing...I didn't think age was that far apart and it was okay

[Lizrd3000]

I didn't read all of the texts because it's just too much, and the point is obvious.

 

You're so very clingy and needy man.

 

You're telling her you'll step back and give her space, but wait LET ME SEND ANOTHER FEW MESSAGES FIRST.

 

Also trying so desperately to know what she's thinking about. You should've given her space at the very beginning man, you were way too invested and emotionally dependant on her.

 

I really don't want to be an ahole, but you're such a doormat. I thought I was, but this is just another level of doormat.

 

I hope other people can give you better advice than I can.

 

Work on your self-esteem in the meantime, get things going for yourself. You shouldn't be so dependent on someone, especially not your lover.

[Poppyolive]

I'm going to be honest here.....

 

If that was me and you were texting me like that I would of said the same thing. I may have met with you to discuss and finished it sooner. however which way, I'd be done. After only 2 1/2 months, this sounds like too much stress. I think you are both on a very different page. You were suffocating her, rude & flippant. Your messages go from apology to rudeness, from offering space followed by more questions...it would hurt my head!

 

I don't know why you behaved & spoke to her like that, it was incredibly needy and sadly immature. I'm not taking about the initial rudeness, its all the following messages. She explained she was going through stuff & didn't appreciate being dumped on..yet you continued.

 

Leave her go. Move on.

 

There is nothing wrong with being irritable & moody, being snappy. It happens to us all. In order to make that right, one needs to apologise, allowing the other the right to their feelings. Together you move forward resolving and communicating through the issues. You didn't allow for that, you jumped in with blame, apologies, calling, bugging, texting, more blame etc...thus she had no space to breath. For four future relationships learn from this. We all make mistakes....dig deeper holes.

[harkkam]

I didn't read all of the texts because it's just too much, and the point is obvious.

 

You're so very clingy and needy man.

 

You're telling her you'll step back and give her space, but wait LET ME SEND ANOTHER FEW MESSAGES FIRST.

 

Also trying so desperately to know what she's thinking about. You should've given her space at the very beginning man, you were way too invested and emotionally dependant on her.

 

I really don't want to be an ahole, but you're such a doormat. I thought I was, but this is just another level of doormat.

 

I hope other people can give you better advice than I can.

 

Work on your self-esteem in the meantime, get things going for yourself. You shouldn't be so dependent on someone, especially not your lover.

 

Hmm...how do I stop being needy and clingy?

[harkkam]

I'm going to be honest here.....

 

If that was me and you were texting me like that I would of said the same thing. I may have met with you to discuss and finished it sooner. however which way, I'd be done. After only 2 1/2 months, this sounds like too much stress. I think you are both on a very different page. You were suffocating her, rude & flippant. Your messages go from apology to rudeness, from offering space followed by more questions...it would hurt my head!

 

I don't know why you behaved & spoke to her like that, it was incredibly needy and sadly immature. I'm not taking about the initial rudeness, its all the following messages. She explained she was going through stuff & didn't appreciate being dumped on..yet you continued.

 

Leave her go. Move on.

 

There is nothing wrong with being irritable & moody, being snappy. It happens to us all. In order to make that right, one needs to apologise, allowing the other the right to their feelings. Together you move forward resolving and communicating through the issues. You didn't allow for that, you jumped in with blame, apologies, calling, bugging, texting, more blame etc...thus she had no space to breath. For four future relationships learn from this. We all make mistakes....dig deeper holes.

 

Thanks for the advice

[minime13]

You're clingy and she doesn't let things go. You shouldn't have been all up in her shiz like that, but good Lord she keeps harping on one text that had attitude all day? You're both doing each other a favor here.

 

Take this as a lesson to learn from.

[Lizrd3000]

I'm going to be honest here.....

 

If that was me and you were texting me like that I would of said the same thing. I may have met with you to discuss and finished it sooner. however which way, I'd be done. After only 2 1/2 months, this sounds like too much stress. I think you are both on a very different page. You were suffocating her, rude & flippant. Your messages go from apology to rudeness, from offering space followed by more questions...it would hurt my head!

 

I don't know why you behaved & spoke to her like that, it was incredibly needy and sadly immature. I'm not taking about the initial rudeness, its all the following messages. She explained she was going through stuff & didn't appreciate being dumped on..yet you continued.

 

Leave her go. Move on.

 

There is nothing wrong with being irritable & moody, being snappy. It happens to us all. In order to make that right, one needs to apologise, allowing the other the right to their feelings. Together you move forward resolving and communicating through the issues. You didn't allow for that, you jumped in with blame, apologies, calling, bugging, texting, more blame etc...thus she had no space to breath. For four future relationships learn from this. We all make mistakes....dig deeper holes.

Agreed with this.

 

Also, when you're rude like that and seconds later appologizing for those things and continueing this over and over again, your appologies just sound so hollow and insecure. That's just my pov.

 

 

Anyways, as for your question... I just became more reserved and did things for myself. I started working out and distract myself if I felt needy or clingy. Over time, this became ingrained and I wasn't so needy and clingy anymore.

 

It's such a turn off for women, for men too. But more so for women.

Don't we all want a partner with the self esteem to move him/herself along in life? Without needing to hold their hands?

 

Just do things for yourself man, find a new hobby and do YOU.

I know it hurts, but be happy it's such a short relationship.

[harkkam]

Agreed with this.

 

Also, when you're rude like that and seconds later appologizing for those things and continueing this over and over again, your appologies just sound so hollow and insecure. That's just my pov.

 

 

Anyways, as for your question... I just became more reserved and did things for myself. I started working out and distract myself if I felt needy or clingy. Over time, this became ingrained and I wasn't so needy and clingy anymore.

 

It's such a turn off for women, for men too. But more so for women.

Don't we all want a partner with the self esteem to move him/herself along in life? Without needing to hold their hands?

 

Just do things for yourself man, find a new hobby and do YOU.

I know it hurts, but be happy it's such a short relationship.

 

 

Yeah ...I know women hate insecure needy man, I always thought I wasn't a needy guy and was very secure etc..

 

But I guess my actions have proved otherwise...the false sense of self got a bit shattered

[minime13]

Yeah ...I know women hate insecure needy man, I always thought I wasn't a needy guy and was very secure etc..

 

But I guess my actions have proved otherwise...the false sense of self got a bit shattered

There is a big difference in having a bad day and having a habit of being like this. Which category do you fall under?

 

If this is just a bad day and this is how she reacts to a bad day, then she's way too sensitive. All relationships have rough patches, and you don't want someone to bail at the first problem.

 

If this is your MO, then I guess it is understandable that she's holding onto it for an entire day like that.

[harkkam]

There is a big difference in having a bad day and having a habit of being like this. Which category do you fall under?

 

If this is just a bad day and this is how she reacts to a bad day, then she's way too sensitive. All relationships have rough patches, and you don't want someone to bail at the first problem.

 

If this is your MO, then I guess it is understandable that she's holding onto it for an entire day like that.

 

No I'm absolutely like not like this

 

A) sometimes she didn't text me for six hours and I didn't care at all, sometimes I even wished she would respond slower so I could take care of what I had to do

B) one time a guy started flirting with her when I went to the bathroom and I came back and I just smiled at her...laughing a bit to see how she reacted and we laughed about it after

C) never doubted her loyalty to me

D) she would go to parties all the time and I would never say anything needy like "who is gonna be there" etc.

e) I'd say "hey babe if you're tired we can reschedule I know work is tiring"

 

Plus other things that I can't think of right now

 

That's why I didn't think I was needy and insecure 99% of the time

 

But in this case yes I was having a bad day...probably withdrawal from my medications

[aloneinaz]

I have to say, that was PAINFUL to read those text exchanges. All I could think about was saying "Dude, REALLY?" You pissed her off and she asked for some space to process it. You then did an expert job of SMOOTHERING her and being hyper needy. Why didn't you simply apologize for coming across the wrong way and leaving her be to cool down?

 

 

I'm really not trying to be mean but damn.. I'm not sure why you got so paranoid about her reaction to you being a bit snippy. It makes me wonder if this isn't the first time you've acted this way when she stated "I thought you were confident and had you $hit together".

 

 

My man, PLEASE learn from this and what the others are saying. We've all been a bit clingy and needy and all learned that doesn't work so well. You need to simply leave this girl alone. She ended it. There's a very SLIGHT chance that if you back off, don't contact her again, she MIGHT contact you again. I wouldn't bet on it though.

 

 

In the mean time, work on yourself esteem and confidence. This is a great learning opportunity for you and a great example of something you never want to repeat.

 

 

Don't beat yourself up. It's over and you can't change the past. Move forward with your life and in time you'll find another girl you'll do much better with.

[Lizrd3000]

No I'm absolutely like not like this

 

A) sometimes she didn't text me for six hours and I didn't care at all, sometimes I even wished she would respond slower so I could take care of what I had to do

B) one time a guy started flirting with her when I went to the bathroom and I came back and I just smiled at her...laughing a bit to see how she reacted and we laughed about it after

C) never doubted her loyalty to me

D) she would go to parties all the time and I would never say anything needy like "who is gonna be there" etc.

e) I'd say "hey babe if you're tired we can reschedule I know work is tiring"

 

Plus other things that I can't think of right now

 

That's why I didn't think I was needy and insecure 99% of the time

 

But in this case yes I was having a bad day...probably withdrawal from my medications

Be honest with yourself.

One does not become a doormat in a matter of seconds.

 

I was on meds too, experienced side effects aswell.

I just hope you're able to reflect on this, and honestly see your situation for what it was.

 

If you indeed WERE clingy, needy and a doormat, then you need to fix those things. By saying you're not any of the above, you're disregarding your flaws and never adressing them. Which can be harmful for your future relationships.

 

But who knows, maybe you're honest and it was just a bad day.

 

 

 

 

 

But I have a hard time believing that.

[harkkam]

I have to say, that was PAINFUL to read those text exchanges. All I could think about was saying "Dude, REALLY?" You pissed her off and she asked for some space to process it. You then did an expert job of SMOOTHERING her and being hyper needy. Why didn't you simply apologize for coming across the wrong way and leaving her be to cool down?

 

 

I'm really not trying to be mean but damn.. I'm not sure why you got so paranoid about her reaction to you being a bit snippy. It makes me wonder if this isn't the first time you've acted this way when she stated "I thought you were confident and had you $hit together".

 

 

My man, PLEASE learn from this and what the others are saying. We've all been a bit clingy and needy and all learned that doesn't work so well. You need to simply leave this girl alone. She ended it. There's a very SLIGHT chance that if you back off, don't contact her again, she MIGHT contact you again. I wouldn't bet on it though.

 

 

In the mean time, work on yourself esteem and confidence. This is a great learning opportunity for you and a great example of something you never want to repeat.

 

 

Don't beat yourself up. It's over and you can't change the past. Move forward with your life and in time you'll find another girl you'll do much better with.

 

 

Thanks man....

 

Funny thing I knew in my head that I WAS smothering her...as I was typing those texts I thought "maybe I should just give her some space"

 

But no my impulsivity took over...I was going to do what I wanted to do and there was no stopping it

 

I'm an impulsive person by nature...sometimes when I get buzzed I love to speed on the highway...I smoke...I eat junk food even when I make a diet commitment...

 

I'm just impulsive by nature and even when I know something is the better thing to do or say...I just give into the moment...

 

I've tried changing this but it's so hard like I'm a slave to what I feel and what I think doesn't matter

[Lizrd3000]

Thanks man....

 

Funny thing I knew in my head that I WAS smothering her...as I was typing those texts I thought "maybe I should just give her some space"

 

But no my impulsivity took over...I was going to do what I wanted to do and there was no stopping it

 

I'm an impulsive person by nature...sometimes when I get buzzed I love to speed on the highway...I smoke...I eat junk food even when I make a diet commitment...

 

I'm just impulsive by nature and even when I know something is the better thing to do or say...I just give into the moment...

 

I've tried changing this but it's so hard like I'm a slave to what I feel and what I think doesn't matter

 

I think alot of people can relate man. (me included)

But you've got to learn to control your emotions, and not let them affect the way you behave to this extent. I still struggle with this, but it's alot less than in the past.

 

I can relate to knowing when to shut up but just not doing it, too.

But it's a skill that you can master, eventually.

[kasop]

Once you reach that level of neediness and desperate. Theres no turning back! Ive done this to many times! Once you do that it over. It hurts man but move on and dont respond to anything she says to u.

[dumbass2]

look at it this way. If she dumped you because of you having one bad day, you don't need her and thank your lucky stars you have no more time invested. If it wasn't because you were always needy and clingy and this was the last straw, then she has other reasons for which you will never get the straight answer and she just used this time for an excuse to end it. It happens. It was just a short time, but I know it can still be painful. Regardless, just focus on what just happened and learn from it. You have to have self awareness and be honest with yourself about issues and then you will improve. I was able to do that and it came after time away from my ex. Leave this one be and move onward and upward.

[aloneinaz]

Thanks man....

 

Funny thing I knew in my head that I WAS smothering her...as I was typing those texts I thought "maybe I should just give her some space"

 

But no my impulsivity took over...I was going to do what I wanted to do and there was no stopping it

 

I'm an impulsive person by nature...sometimes when I get buzzed I love to speed on the highway...I smoke...I eat junk food even when I make a diet commitment...

 

I'm just impulsive by nature and even when I know something is the better thing to do or say...I just give into the moment...

 

I've tried changing this but it's so hard like I'm a slave to what I feel and what I think doesn't matter

 

 

Everybody has their issues and baggage. What's good is that you recognize it and know it's an issue to address. Why not take this time to address these so you don't repeat these same mistakes down the line.

 

 

Trust me, no one on these boards is perfect and we all have things we can work on too.

[ZiggyZoo]

I hope you've taken something from all this. Because if she wasn't ready to break it off in the beginning, your behavior and lack of respect for her desire for a bit of time to herself sure sealed the deal. Next time around, listen to what your partner is saying, and don't make it all about what YOU need at that moment. I wasn't bothered by the neediness so much as the...I don't know...sense of entitlement you showed. Not sure that's the right word, but the fact that you just ignored what she was saying, and kept trying to talk because it was what you wanted/needed.

[SammySammy]

She handled that perfectly.

 

I agree with her wholeheartedly. I don't tolerate any disrespect or abuse (verbal or physical).

 

If we have a situation we need to address, approach me in an appropriate manner and we can deal with it like adults.

 

Passive aggressiveness from an emotional, needy and clingy man? She doesn't need that. Cut loose. Immediately. Which is what she did.

 

I salute her. Well done.

 

OP, I think it may be good to take some time to reflect. Learn from this. Grow. You may have lost this relationship, but what you learn from this experience can help you to be a better partner in the future.

[mystikmind2005]

Hmm...how do I stop being needy and clingy?

 

I used to be needy and clingy like that.

 

For me, it was all about self confidence and deep down i did not believe i was a good person or worth loving and giving love.

 

So i made a choice to believe in myself and wow, how it has changed my whole outlook on life, and although i do still experience insecurity from time to time, i do not have to listen to it or act on it or let it bring me down.

[Thecondor1991]

Sorry man, This relationship is done. You texting her every five minutes is just going to hurt your pride. She obviously doesn't want a relationship with you and you guys were only together for 2.5 months, take what little pride you have left and move on.

[harkkam]

I used to be needy and clingy like that.

 

For me, it was all about self confidence and deep down i did not believe i was a good person or worth loving and giving love.

 

So i made a choice to believe in myself and wow, how it has changed my whole outlook on life, and although i do still experience insecurity from time to time, i do not have to listen to it or act on it or let it bring me down.

 

 

 

When you say made a choice to believe in yourself do you mean things like "I'm awesome" "there is nothing wrong with me" "I'm sexy and wanted" etc

 

I'm not sure where the line between believing in yourself and being "delusional"

[harkkam]

She handled that perfectly.

 

I agree with her wholeheartedly. I don't tolerate any disrespect or abuse (verbal or physical).

 

If we have a situation we need to address, approach me in an appropriate manner and we can deal with it like adults.

 

Passive aggressiveness from an emotional, needy and clingy man? She doesn't need that. Cut loose. Immediately. Which is what she did.

 

I salute her. Well done.

 

OP, I think it may be good to take some time to reflect. Learn from this. Grow. You may have lost this relationship, but what you learn from this experience can help you to be a better partner in the future.

 

I don't really think what I did was verbal abuse really its kind of her being a bit over sensitive