Rebounds

[tacoman]

okay.....so my girlfriend of 5 years gave me all the cliche lines, etc..i am moving forward all the time. It has been around 3.5 weeks since it happend. I feel like crap still. I was hugely stressed about her well being, i thought she was on overload (family,school,work,etc..) so i went over about 3 weeks after we broke to make sure she was good, only to find her making out with her "rebound" guy. That almost ripped my heart out. And they were moving pretty quick. Luckily, i was able to restrain myself and not do anything to stupid. (i did throw all the stuff from his truck into a construction site, but felt like **** and went back 2 hours later and put it back).

anyway, i spoke to her on the phone the next day basically saying what the hell are you doing, and she said it is moving really quick and she doesnt know why, etc.....

 

part of the reason why we broke up i think is because she has only ever been with me (she is now 22/23) and probably just wants to be sure. They never did anything while we were going out still, i assume they flirted and interest got the best of her,etc. But 5 years and then 2 weeks later she does this. I am not waiting around for her, but still love her and hold out hope, if we get back we get back, if not, not, but i wont wait.

 

Basically, if i am not mistaken. Dont like 95 % of all "rebound" relationships or flirting relationships that end another relationship out of curiosity always end in disaster? They are doing all the typical rebound thing (he is opposite of me, moving really quickly, skipping normal relationship growing phases,etc.) We were VERy connected, but fell into a small routine because college and work got insane for the past 5 months, but no real issues with us, i was blind sided. She has not dealt with what happend with us. and this guy is 27.....it kills me....

 

plus, they work at the same place (5 days a week, 8 hours a day)...........so what is likely to happen (whether she comes back to me or not , is not the question) Is this a rebound that is going to crash......why do they always fail.

 

i am still clinging on with hope (and trying to move on), because she is at a total quarter life crisis , and is trying to change EVERYTHING in her life all at once and is basically trying to do the opposite of who she has been for 23 years.

 

What to do.................we never had any major fights and never broke up, anything wrong with "us" was purely related to minor easily fixable issues.......i understand she just maybe needs to see what else is out there and experience things on her own.....but this has confused the hell out of me.....and i have spoken to about 20 people about this and she has done the opposite of what everyone expected........this is messed.

[westernxer]

Time to move on, buddy. She's made it clear she wants to date around.

 

Doesn't matter if you were the perfect boy for her. People change. That's life.

 

Better put the gloves on before you get knocked out.

[quankanne]

as painful as this is, you need to move forward ~ what you and she had is over. Whether or not a rebound relationship for her (or you) will work out is a big unknown, because only you/she know the particulars of that relationship and what y'all want from it.

 

my personal theory of love is this: every love you have or give, even if it ends before you're prepared for it to end, takes you one step closer to what you are meant to have. Maybe it's with her 10 years down the line, maybe it's with someone totally unexpected, you just don't know. But don't let your mind get hung up on a relationship that is through, because it's like hitting your thumb with a hammer over and over, even though you know that it's not a constructive thing to do.

[br995]

Originally posted by tacoman i did throw all the stuff from his truck into a construction site, but felt like **** and went back 2 hours later and put it back.

 

 

HAHAHAHA. That's awesome.

 

Sorry.

 

As far as the ex and her new relationship -- no, most of them do not last, but of course some of them do. It's impossible not to think about it, but as everyone else says, try not to. It will get you nowhere. Thinking about it and being upset by it doesn't change the fact that they are still together and won't break them up any faster (if it happens at all).

 

She got with him really fast, which means she either liked him before you broke up or it's a major rebound. Either way, you're not with her and have to concentrate on yourself.

 

Good luck.