Cadybug Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 Iam so upset and need to vent! (see other thread for info) Today we talked about how he has never had to conform to anyone else's needs and he rebels when he has to. He said that I was inventing all these things in my head and that there was nothing going on. I think that is beside the point as I told him that it is humiliating to me that he would carry on like that with another woman. So today, guess what he did? He let her take him and my son out to dinner! Then continued to act like I had no reason to be upset! Deliberately seeing someone that I have told him I have a problem with is just beyond the pale to me. He has no respect for me and why should he? I stayed with him while he drank and did drugs and stayed out all night and stole my money, basically allowed him to treat me like dirt, like a non-person. I think I have given all I have to give and I cannot stay with a man that disrespects me like this. I am really hurting and yet still feeling like I have done something wrong. Like I had no right to bring all this up in the first place. Am I crazy? Also he lied to me and said he didn't look at porn yesterday. Or the day before, or the day before that...... Link to post Share on other sites
wishfulthinking76 Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 I have always believed that if you love someone truly then you want to do things that make that person happy. It sounds like he is completely oblivious to your happiness. Therefore I think you owe it to yourself to buy the book "he's just not that into you" ...read it ... from it see exactly what you deserve in a partner so that you can go out into the world and find someone who respects and loves you. This may seem a little harsh but I really don't think anybody deserves to be treated the way he treats you (he lied and did things just to spite you) ... you deserve better ! Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 27, 2005 Share Posted April 27, 2005 What are you getting out of this relationship? There must be some reason you're staying. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cadybug Posted April 28, 2005 Author Share Posted April 28, 2005 I don't know. That is honest. I need to figure that out and get on with my life. I've given this man my entire 20's. He has given me a wonderful son. I think that I was supposed to have Tristan and that was the purpose of meeting his father. But I think I have stayed too long. I guess I wanted to know if he could be a real, whole person. I thought he was a prick because of alcohol and drugs but it turns out he just a prick. Maybe I had to know, I don't know! Anyway, it's done, I am meeting with a lawyer tomorrow to figure out all the technical stuff. There is no way I'm not having an order for child support. Link to post Share on other sites
kechurt Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 I am starting to believe we stay with men that hurt us because we love them so much. A friend told me relationships don't work when one of you love the other more than they love you. I am going through a similar situation and when I was younger w/no kids I would have left my cheater w/o looking back. But I love what we HAD so much & the kids, I can't let go even if it is killing me inside. Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted April 28, 2005 Share Posted April 28, 2005 Kechurt Sounds like you've been hurt enough in this relationship. You found out he was cheating on you (at least all the evidence is pointing to infidelity). You need to focus on yourself and your kids. I think you hit the nail on the head as to why women stay with men like this. We love them. My H cheated on me the whole time we dated (2 1/2 yrs and I didn't know it). I married him not knowing that he cheated and even slept with another woman 3 weeks before we married! When I found out, I was devastated and that was 2 yrs ago that I found out. I am just now at a point where I can think about myself and moving on with my life without him. I am just planning for my future - not his. For so long I was in total shock and a fog of just not believing he could do this. The more I heard about his women and cheating, the more withdrawn I became. I went to counselor and doctor and got on anti-depressants because at times I didn't think I could make it through another day. I loved him so much. When the truth first comes out you are in denial. I know I was - I thought my H was not at all the type to cheat. He was rather quiet and kept to himself. We lived in different states but saw each other every couple weeks. I thought we were fine - we had our share of relationship problems like everyone else but for the most part I truly thought he loved only me. I was fooled. So meet with your lawyer and take any evidence you can to show him. You will be strong through this - it is hard but just hold on and love your kids. Sue Bee Link to post Share on other sites
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