well you can't unring a bell

[portableversion]

I always said I would never do a long distance relationship, but I am in one now.

 

This lady on an online site kept viewing my profile , I could see she was pretty, I could see that she lives 7000 miles away. I said to myself why even look at profiles so far away.

 

Well she finally emails me, and I really got caught up in it. In almost 3 years I had multiple profiles on various sites and I was getting no where at all. But here she is and she starts emailing me. I was elated to finally meet someone to talk to.

 

SHes a widow, has 2 kids highly educated and has a professional job. She says that for her dating has been horrible and she decided to reach out overseas to meet a man that lives close to her sister and other relative who live about 2 hours from me.

 

I fell hard and fast, and she said she did too. I finally asked her one day what do you want from me and she said I want us in a committed relationship, and I love you!

 

I was blown away, I have been single and lonely for so many years, and the same with her. I said well let me get to you 1st and see how it goes.

 

I go there and spend 10 days it was better than I could have imagined and her family offers to take me in and she said she could help me find a job there, but I decline since I have 2 boys here down the street, from my poor excuse of a marriage that failed horribly after 17 yrs.

 

She wants to come here in October, we discuss getting married at the courthouse this way we can work on the visa application. She cant move here for 2 years cause of her contract with the government in her homeland.

 

She suddenly decided she should try to see me in October to do this, as opposed to waiting for me to make it back in January, and she also has plans to see me next april as well.

 

This is very hard, her work schedule has picked up since I got back and then she has taken on a 2nd job. I wonder if she wants to pay things on her own, im not sure why she wanted a 2nd job. She had previously told me I would have to help her buy the plane tickets in October I said let me know, ill send money. That kind of talk stopped and now it was all about getting thi 2nd job.

 

Well she was accepted yesterday and she gleefully told me she will be starting soon. Bad point is that we will now only be able to visit on Skype in the morning for her. This gives me grave concern due to my job many times I get home she is already at work cause I get caught on very long days.

 

I hate to say it but a little voice inside of me says that she is not making time with me any kid of priority at all. I fell for this ldy hard and I miss her so much, I ask myself why did I answer that email.

 

My mom would ask why do I not meet nice white women here in my town, and I have simple answer , they do not like me mom, perhaps I just need to give up and just be a priest this is hard.

 

I asked my lady if she feels all will be fine, she says she trusts me and that she is going no where and it will be fine. I do not see how 10 min of Skype a day can make it happen. Perhaps im naive

Edited June 6, 2015 by portableversion

[justwhoiam]

Hi portableversion,

 

Welcome to the LS LDR forum.

 

If your mother suggested you should date local white women, I must assume the lady you met online is not white. I'm not sure about the white/non-white concern, it's more about clashing with a different culture, maybe.

 

That said, where is she from? Unfortunately, there are foreign scammers, typically from certain countries, like Russia and Eastern European countries.

Before drawing any conclusion, I'd prefer to know that from you.

[portableversion]

She is from the Phillipines, and has a pretty decent job compared to most of them. She has applied for jobs here and wow she can get some stellar stuff. If she can get an h1b getting her here will be a non-issue, but she is adamant about keeping her contract. Actually it is the scholarship obligations. She had full tuition paid for to get her phd but they made her sign a contract promising she would not leave for a handful of years, if she does they will send her a bill. She has 2 years left. Her credentials will allow for occupations here i cant even touch.

 

I can tell poverty issues there are pretty serious , she teaches at a university but it seems to not be so lucrative. I drove by there and she has skpyed me from her office form time to time. The office space is not like anything you would see here. She did pay for a lot of my stuff, and showed me around when i was there. The more i think about it, i think she blew savings on me.

 

Perhaps I am co-dependant, and insane from feeling lonely for so long and now have a taste of something and im going nuts. OMg shes a goof ball like me, geez i will think it and she will say it.

 

I met her relatives such as sister, cousin, bro-in-law and aunt and uncle here. This part of her family lives 2 hours from me. Before i went there i visited them and they asked me all kinds of questions about my intentions and to get a feel for who i am and they reported to her. I have spent time with them since i got back and plans were offered to goto a philippino cultural event with them on the 20th.

 

Man if i did not have my boys i would've set fire to my passport an driverslicense when i was there. Her mom told me i was welcome to stay there forever and i would not want for anything. I can't leave my boys, i did the stay-at home thing and we are tight.

 

But yeah at 1st she said i would perhaps have to help her buy her plane tickets to see me in october, i said yeah sure, but since then shes been looking for online jobs she can do and she found one tutoring english. Im just miffed that it will cut into out time together on skype. Talking to her on skype has meant alot to me. But sometimes we just have it on she does her thing and i do mine. We eat meals together and stuff like that. I cant blame her for wanting to make more money.

 

One thing i have gathered that she has not admitted much to is that im sure she is tired of living with her parents, they both drink regularily and it stressed her out. I'm sure she is just desperate for a change. but then too she said she'd be so happy if i migrated there, i could easily find a job as an english teacher, or do editing or proof reading.

 

I always swore id never do a ldr but here i am , i tried to blow her off and friendzone her but she grew on me, and now here i am dealing with all this distance stuff.

This is all my fault. I met so many of her relatives and friends here and there, they all seem like great wonderful people. I felt so welcomed and accepted. The whole thing has been so touching, im not going to lie i shed a few tears now and again from all the niceties. this experience has had a profound impact on me. I have no idea what tomorrow will bring but i will never forget what i have experienced already.

 

LOL her kids warmed up to me pretty good especially when i gave them pigy back rides, lol she liked me carrying her too, wow i had such a great time. It was the greatest time i had in my life in many many years. I'm grateful for that.

 

I did confess to her i felt insecure about her new job, but i make efforts to be as supportive as possible.

[ExpatInItaly]

Perhaps she needs the extra money because she doesn't want to sap your resources. She said you'd need to help her pay for her plane tickets and so on, but perhaps she's feeling like she should be contributing more. All you can do is ask her what her financial position is at the moment and if she still sees herself coming in October.

 

Also, does she plan on bringing her children with her? What will happen with them if she emigrates? Is their father in the picture? Her hinting that she wants you to migrate there tells me she might be re-thinking an overseas move. You both have very good reasons not to leave your current countries (ie. your respective children) I think before you invest any more of your heart in this you two need to have a very open conversation about what the future realistically holds.

[justwhoiam]

I'm sorry, but I don't see it as brightly as you do, though I might be wrong.

 

1) She surely spent some time looking for a man in a specific area. Maybe you're her "ticket" to a better life in a different world. Her plan was being near her relatives there. The rest is just a nice extra.

 

2) She told you pretty early on that she needed the money to get there.

 

3) She also got you in involving family.

 

4) It looks like she's striving in her country and she also has kids. Where is the father? Are the children from the same man or different men? Some things are hard to be shared. Like a bad past. Like prostitution.

 

That said, do you have a copy of that contract she told you about? I guess not. Can you ask her to give you a copy? If she doesn't agree to that, like she makes up some excuse, or says she doesn't have it... you need to start checking for other possible red flags.

 

You need more information about her.

[portableversion]

Perhaps she needs the extra money because she doesn't want to sap your resources. She said you'd need to help her pay for her plane tickets and so on, but perhaps she's feeling like she should be contributing more. All you can do is ask her what her financial position is at the moment and if she still sees herself coming in October.

 

Also, does she plan on bringing her children with her? What will happen with them if she emigrates? Is their father in the picture? Her hinting that she wants you to migrate there tells me she might be re-thinking an overseas move. You both have very good reasons not to leave your current countries (ie. your respective children) I think before you invest any more of your heart in this you two need to have a very open conversation about what the future realistically holds.

SHe has gone back and forth as to when exactly her kids would come with her, at 1st she said she wants to be here for a whole year to make sure she can handle the environment at her new job and then take time to find a place. Her sister and I were talking about this her sis asked me how I felt about that, I said well they love her very much I think it would be hard on them and perhaps they would resent me for"taking mommy away" I said if possible they should come right away. She agreed and then talked to my lady and changed her mind. They will be coming with her now. I like that option better. I can understand my lady's perspective though, when my mom relocated us to a new town many many years ago she did not take us with her. She started her new job and found a place 1st, then moved us that took about a year, but that was only a 3 hour drive and she saw us every weekend. This is so much different being in 2 different countries. With jet lag im not sure a person would want to fly over there every weekend even if the money was there.

 

The father has passed away, he died suddenly while at his job of a heart attack. He did not make it to the hospital. The older son at that time was only 2 and she was about 3-4 months pregnant with the daughter.

 

LOL oh my it appears that skype had dorked up our conversation, I was on skype with her yesterday for about 7 hours, and once again I said I felt insecure about having our time cut by her new job, and she told me again the hours and opps!. hahahaha it wont really interfere that much, I'll be at work here when she is doing that.

 

What does the future realistically hold.... I hate ti say it but it will be a huge improvement for me. I am willing to relocate to a town down the road if necessary, but she has created a profile on the internet and the things she has the qualifications for are amazing career choices. She showed me her "matches" and asked me if I knew of those companies, and I said you bet I do! Those are fabulous companies where folks would love to be able to work, they are well known for excellent pay and great benefits wow!

 

Her credentials are in agricultuaral industry and around here that type of thing is all around, there are many possibbilities in the agri business.

 

She said she does not want to be single any more; her dating experience over the last 7 years has been abysmal. Shes been burned and betrayed, lied to and cheated on. She said I either move there or she goes here. She said it makes more sense for her to come here, she has seen me interact with my boys here and has talked to them on skype and she said they need me here, and I have to stay here unless their mom would allow me to bring them with me to the philippines, lol I said i cannot get more days beyond the terms in the "divorce agreement".

 

I asked how will they be, they said her kids will adjust and she thinks it will be good for them here. They are already taking english classes, geez she showed me her kids' homework it's mostly done in english I could not believe it. She said once they get older they can go back to the philippines for college. We both have agreed that once my little one turns 18 we can move to the philippines. We plan on stockpiling cash to build a dream home over there. Even my bs job would allow me to live like a king over there, and my ss benefits when i retire will be amazing there. Looks like I can enjoy the american dream overseas hahahah.

 

And too once we get married she is going to help me buy land over there to augment her holdings in the forestry business. As it is now I can afford to buy land for tree harvesting, but I have to be married to her, this tree plantation is going to provide a handsome income for the golden years.

 

My boys are trust fund kids, my 6 yr old already has his retirement established and his college paid for in cash. Each year that goes by their assest values grow by many digits, so they will have no issue at all comeing to see me there.

 

Lol one day my older son said to me... daddy one day i will have a very nice fancy house i can have an addition to have you live with me, and you wont have to live in your tiny apartment anymore, I said no son it's ok you will want that for your wife and kids,I'll be fine.

[portableversion]

I'm sorry, but I don't see it as brightly as you do, though I might be wrong.

 

1) She surely spent some time looking for a man in a specific area. Maybe you're her "ticket" to a better life in a different world. Her plan was being near her relatives there. The rest is just a nice extra.

 

2) She told you pretty early on that she needed the money to get there.

 

3) She also got you in involving family.

 

4) It looks like she's striving in her country and she also has kids. Where is the father? Are the children from the same man or different men? Some things are hard to be shared. Like a bad past. Like prostitution.

 

That said, do you have a copy of that contract she told you about? I guess not. Can you ask her to give you a copy? If she doesn't agree to that, like she makes up some excuse, or says she doesn't have it... you need to start checking for other possible red flags.

 

You need more information about her.

 

LOL no way!! omg hahaha

 

no ive met way too many of her relatives and friends and parents, and seen photo albums, ive spoken to some of her fellow professors at the university where she teaches. I've got friends here that have met Philippino women and brought them here, and this contract to pay back the full ride tuition is very common, and many have told me about it. Ive seen her diploma, and her photos of her graduation, no sorry all this is way off the mark

[justwhoiam]

Well, at least check if her degree will be recognized in your country and/or what it takes to have it recognized.

 

To me, there's still too much talking about money, investing, marriage... too early on in the relationship and, apparently, after only one visit.

[ExpatInItaly]

Well, at least check if her degree will be recognized in your country and/or what it takes to have it recognized.

 

To me, there's still too much talking about money, investing, marriage... too early on in the relationship and, apparently, after only one visit.

 

I agree. OP, I understand you're excited but I think you're both getting way ahead of yourselves. You haven't spent Enough time together in person to even be thinking about planning your retirement together.

 

I feel it would be wise to speak to an immigration consultant or lawyer to see how feasible this all really is. Just because she has good credentials in her home country does not mean they will be automatically recognized abroad. She also needs to find out what the possibility is of a company actually sponsoring a work visa. It's no simple feat. You need to find out te financial sustenance that will be required for a visa application, and what the law says about brining her minor children. She will have to prove that she can support them and that she has adequate housing for all of them. I'm saying all of this because it doesn't sound as though much research has been done into the technicalities of immigrating and you might find it's not as simple as applying for jobs where you are. I'm an expat myself so I have some familiarity with the process.

 

You both have a lot to think about before planning out a future together.

[Lois_Griffin]

She is from the Phillipines, and has a pretty decent job compared to most of them. She has applied for jobs here and wow she can get some stellar stuff. If she can get an h1b getting her here will be a non-issue, but she is adamant about keeping her contract.

Women 7000 miles away don't just reach out to strange men - coincidentally in the same country they hope to emigrate to - for no reason. I think she sees you as a way to make her eventual emigration to the US easier, is all.

 

I mean, come on. I've been on dating sites and I've never bothered to take the time to do a 'search' for available men literally across the world. What would be the point - unless I needed something from them?

Edited June 7, 2015 by Lois_Griffin

[TMichaels]

This lady on an online site kept viewing my profile , I could see she was pretty, I could see that she lives 7000 miles away. I said to myself why even look at profiles so far away.

 

Good question. However, as another poster pointed out, people don't look at profiles of people half-way around the world unless they want something from them. You fit her criteria.

 

Well she finally emails me, and I really got caught up in it. In almost 3 years I had multiple profiles on various sites and I was getting no where at all. But here she is and she starts emailing me. I was elated to finally meet someone to talk to.

 

And that, in a nutshell is what's so wrong about this relationship.

 

SHes a widow, has 2 kids highly educated and has a professional job. She says that for her dating has been horrible and she decided to reach out overseas to meet a man that lives close to her sister and other relative who live about 2 hours from me.

 

What an incredible coincidence, don't you think?

 

I was blown away, I have been single and lonely for so many years, and the same with her. I said well let me get to you 1st and see how it goes.

 

Oh, so you are capable of sane and rational thought? Problem is, you're now only thinking with one of your heads.

 

I go there and spend 10 days it was better than I could have imagined and her family offers to take me in and she said she could help me find a job there, but I decline since I have 2 boys here down the street, from my poor excuse of a marriage that failed horribly after 17 yrs.

 

Never mind the legalities of all of this, you don't think it's odd that the first time you meet her that her family is offering "to take you in" and find you a job?

 

She wants to come here in October, we discuss getting married at the courthouse this way we can work on the visa application. She cant move here for 2 years cause of her contract with the government in her homeland.

 

Oh, that's convenient. Get married while here (On what? A Tourist Visa?). Immigration will LOVE that.

 

You sorely need to do your homework. If "your lady" pulls that stunt, if you want to have half a chance of her getting a Green Card, then she needs to *stay in the USA* and not go home until her status is adjusted.

 

How exactly is that going to work with her need to fulfill her contract back home?

 

If that's not what you're doing, and she is coming here on a legitimate Fiance Visa, little late to make that happen. Usual processing time IF YOU'RE LUCKY is 6-9 months.

 

However, all that aside, getting any sort of visa to come to the US for Pinays is one of the most difficult. The process takes months, and if there's any mention in the application or during the interview that you want the visa to visit a gf/bf, you might as well hang it up.

 

So while it's all very lovely she plans to come over to see you in October, the chances that's going to happen is just about nil.

 

She suddenly decided she should try to see me in October to do this, as opposed to waiting for me to make it back in January, and she also has plans to see me next april as well.

 

Uh huh, see above.

 

This is very hard, her work schedule has picked up since I got back and then she has taken on a 2nd job. I wonder if she wants to pay things on her own, im not sure why she wanted a 2nd job.

 

Why haven't you asked her? And furthermore, why does she need one?

 

Even if she's only an instructor at a university, that kind of job pays an average of 27,000 PHP a month. The average monthly disposable salary (after tax) in the Philippines is 16,200 PHP. So why the second job?

 

She had previously told me I would have to help her buy the plane tickets in October I said let me know, ill send money. That kind of talk stopped and now it was all about getting thi 2nd job.

 

What a convenient excuse. Don't you DARE send this woman a cent.

 

I hate to say it but a little voice inside of me says that she is not making time with me any kid of priority at all. I fell for this ldy hard and I miss her so much, I ask myself why did I answer that email.

 

Two wrongs don't make a right.

 

My mom would ask why do I not meet nice white women here in my town, and I have simple answer , they do not like me mom, perhaps I just need to give up and just be a priest this is hard.

 

How old are you? What do you do for a living?

 

I asked my lady if she feels all will be fine, she says she trusts me and that she is going no where and it will be fine. I do not see how 10 min of Skype a day can make it happen. Perhaps im naive

 

Maybe, but you certainly like living in a fantasy world. Your post reeks of desperation. You need to get a grip.

 

SHe has gone back and forth as to when exactly her kids would come with her, at 1st she said she wants to be here for a whole year to make sure she can handle the environment at her new job and then take time to find a place.

 

What new job? Do you have any clue what's involved with her even being able to work legally in the US let alone getting a company to sponsor her?

 

Her sister and I were talking about this her sis asked me how I felt about that, I said well they love her very much I think it would be hard on them and perhaps they would resent me for"taking mommy away" I said if possible they should come right away. She agreed and then talked to my lady and changed her mind. They will be coming with her now.

 

Again, you really need to bone up on Immigration Law. Even if she tried to get herself and her family into the US on Political Asylum grounds, it's not easy. Even if her sister were to sponsor her and the family, those types of visas usually take years.

 

The father has passed away, he died suddenly while at his job of a heart attack. He did not make it to the hospital. The older son at that time was only 2 and she was about 3-4 months pregnant with the daughter.

 

Have you verified that -- independently?

 

What does the future realistically hold.... I hate ti say it but it will be a huge improvement for me.

 

Really? Wow. I would never have guessed that in a million years...

 

I am willing to relocate to a town down the road if necessary, but she has created a profile on the internet and the things she has the qualifications for are amazing career choices.

 

I could put up a profile on the Internet saying I was an astrophysicist with a graduate degree from Caltech. One of my options is a career at NASA. What's that prove?

 

She showed me her "matches" and asked me if I knew of those companies, and I said you bet I do! Those are fabulous companies where folks would love to be able to work, they are well known for excellent pay and great benefits wow!

 

So what? Why would they hire her? More to the point, why would they go through significant trouble to hire her since she can't work legally in this country even if she marries you for some time?

 

Her credentials are in agricultuaral industry and around here that type of thing is all around, there are many possibbilities in the agri business.

 

Uh, huh. When she has a legal job offer from a legitimate employer, then I'll be happy to eat my words.

 

... I asked how will they be, they said her kids will adjust and she thinks it will be good for them here. They are already taking english classes, geez she showed me her kids' homework it's mostly done in english I could not believe it.

 

You do know that English is one of the two official languages of the Philippines, don't you?

 

She said once they get older they can go back to the philippines for college.

 

Why? A degree from any US college/university is worth more than one from any institution of higher education in the Philippines.

 

We both have agreed that once my little one turns 18 we can move to the philippines. We plan on stockpiling cash to build a dream home over there. Even my bs job would allow me to live like a king over there, and my ss benefits when i retire will be amazing there. Looks like I can enjoy the american dream overseas hahahah.

 

You realize, don't you, that marriage to a Pinay does not make you an Philippine citizen, and given that, you will have to re-apply for a visa every 60 days and every two years have to leave and re-enter the country?

 

You'll also have to continue to pay US Income Taxes, and if you were to get a job over there, you'd owe taxes to both the US and Filipino governments...

 

And too once we get married she is going to help me buy land over there to augment her holdings in the forestry business. As it is now I can afford to buy land for tree harvesting, but I have to be married to her, this tree plantation is going to provide a handsome income for the golden years.

 

Wow. She also has holdings in the forestry business? Amazing how "diversified" she is yet has to work a second job to afford a trip to the US.

 

Hmmm.... Are you aware foreigners can't own land in the Philippines? Further, if a natural-born Filipino who has given up their citizenship (e.g., by becoming a citizen in the US), is restricted to owning no more than 1,000 sq meters of residential land or 1 hectare of farm/agricultural land?

 

Not to mention, there one other small problem. Production forests in the Philippines are basically non-existent and the kind of land-use policies that would make this sector a viable one are equally non-existent.

 

In that case, it's gonna be a reaaaal small plantation. Good thing the cost of living there is low. If that doesn't work, I have a bridge to sell. You interested?

 

My boys are trust fund kids, my 6 yr old already has his retirement established and his college paid for in cash. Each year that goes by their assest values grow by many digits, so they will have no issue at all comeing to see me there.

 

Unless they blow it all when they come of age... I assume their mother came from money. If so, what happened to you?

 

LOL no way!! omg hahaha

no ive met way too many of her relatives and friends and parents, and seen photo albums, ive spoken to some of her fellow professors at the university where she teaches. I've got friends here that have met Philippino women and brought them here, and this contract to pay back the full ride tuition is very common, and many have told me about it. Ive seen her diploma, and her photos of her graduation, no sorry all this is way off the mark...

 

You've seen and been told what others wanted you to know, portableversion. Opportunists look for people like you. And it appears, one has snagged you hook, line, and sinker no matter how much you'd like to protest to the contrary.

 

People here are just trying to help you avoid a bad situation. Whether you want to admit it or not, this has so many red flags, it's Soviet. However, it's your life. Live it your way. But, it ain't gonna end pretty. Guaranteed.

 

 

Best,

TMichaels

[portableversion]

Well I do not know what to say this all took a direction I had not expected.

 

I do not like being single at all, i find it as rewarding as eating oats that fell on the floor, it would be nice to have them cooked with sugar , cinnamon, butter and salt.

 

her plantation is 2 hectares, I met her partner at their friends's wedding and this other woman was telling me about it.

 

Believe it or not my ex wife is an immigration lawyer, and she has given me some really good info.

 

Yeah my ex has a dad who is completely loaded, me and her met in college 20 yrs ago. It seems now as I look back she always felt i was beneath her station, and she seems really happy to be married to another lawyer now. I did the stay at home dad thing. The divorce blew me away it was all I could do to not stick a gun in my mouth i was in serious survival mode. I left with not much more than my back pack and thumb.

 

Well if this lady is just looking for an easy ticket to get here, why bother with a wage slave? My income is at the lower end of things. I followed my ex wife all over the place while she got her career established and looked for new men. I always worked and worked many long hours, but each move always set me back, I would find new work but it was usually unrelated to my last job.

 

I have seriously enjoyed finally having a woman im attracted to talk to me. I was definitely disappointed that she lives so far away but then i concluded that perhaps my ex was right.

 

I went to pick up the boys one day and the ex started to ask me why i didnt bother to date this 400 pound woman at church . I said im not attracted to her, i do landscaping and im in pretty good shape, why should i date a woman im physically repulsed by? She told me very plainly that im getting older and i have nothing going on and she had no idea what i found attractive or not, but i need to stay in my lane and take what i can get.

 

Am i to conclude my ex-wife is correct? My wages are too low, and that finding a woman I'm attracted to and can get along with is a mythological fairy tale that is not going to happen? Perhaps she is correct and that realistically the only women who would want a poor man are those that are morbidly obese?

 

My buddy was over here showing me pic of his thai wife, and i heard her on the phone she is so nice , and wow she is good looking . his engagenment story sounds something along the lines of coercion and duress but lo and behold here he is today loving every minute of it. They have been together several years now, almost 10.

 

I have another friend that met his wife in the philippines and he is happy as hell, very happy, and he was telling me about the immigration people and stuff.

 

Perhaps this foreign woman is taking me for a ride, at this point I have no other option but to enjoy myself. This is the most I've enjoyed life in many many years. I suppose all people are a risk, my ex-wife was certainly a huge risk which cost me 20 years of the prime of my life. She was local, highly educated successful, and a liar and a cheat and extremely judgmental and abusive to boot.

 

I suppose if this woman is a rip off I should not be surprised it's how it goes for me they lie the cheat they leave. I was really hoping that through massive dedicated church attendance and activity I'd have a shield that would protect me from these horrible women , or that I would become such a person that i would finally attract the right woman for me. I suppose nothing is guaranteed and I should just expect tremendous amounts of suffering and pain no matter how much of the correct and responsible thing I do.

 

All I know is I spent 7 hours on skpye with her the other day an it was wonderful, I loved it.

 

I loved seeing her over there, I loved going on walks with her and her 2 kids and giving them piggy back rides. I really enjoyed meeting her friends and relatives, they made me feel so welcome and accepted. For me every day I was over there felt so good and true and right, I felt like I had been on a long journey and now I was finally home. Being a family man or a dad ha been something I always wanted and I was thinking hey here is a family that needs a dad, and I am so willing to do that.

 

If this does end badly perhaps I'll be done, I do not think I could survive mre betrayal and rejection. I do view this as risky, I love hard and with my all, I hold nothing back.

 

I suppose time will tell, if i end up getting black bagged and ball gagged, Ill let y'all know.

[J21]

I think you're on that high of being in a relationship. Let's wait til it dies down before making any rash decisions.

 

I'm not saying she is or isn't the real deal, just objectively speaking you need to think things through.

 

Just an FYI, if things progress well between you and her, your partner maybe ask to send over money to the Philippines to help out her family. I have a co worker who is from the Philippines and apparently they think we (people that live in US) are rich. They bother non stop asking to send over money.