SDA Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I'm hurting so I guess I'll vent a little bit. I posted on this forum 4 years ago about a different ex...something that I'm 100% over, just some background information. I started dating this new girl, we'll call her Stacey, my final 2 months of college. She got hired immediately after graduation across the country, we went LD. Things were great for an entire year, our goals stayed in tact even through me going abroad for 2 months, though we did have some rocky parts. She was worried about our relationship ending b/c she had a career and I didn't have a path yet. The only constant we've had is that we are confident we are meant for eachother. When we're together things are perfect. Only problem is, we've spent more time apart than we have together. We had plans to move in once I got home. Surprise, I got a job, a dream job for me close to home, so plans changed. We had an awful last 2 months, lots of fighting, lots of not paying attention to eachother. We broke up last week, as she puts it, "to save our relationship for the future" and "salvage what we have" she wants to take the summer off and get reconcile in August when she returns home for vacation. If we're talking about taking a break to explore other people, that's not the issue, whatever people may say here, it truly isn't and I'm not worried about it. I've gone NC as what I've learned years ago and heard from her a few days ago saying that she loves me and that we're meant to be together. But she needs "time" and "wants to focus on work" but we will "start fresh" when she gets home. That this space is good for us There's no one side to this break, the last two months i did neglect her due to my new job but she did as well. I just miss her a lot, I know time and space is the best way no matter the outcome of this situation and I'm dedicated to it. It just doesn't make it easier since everythings fresh, especially now that there's a time limit on it. I know we both love each other, I know we both want to be with each other, I just wish we could work it out. Granted, while we've been apart it hasn't been working these last 2 months. Maybe some space and time is needed. It just hurts and I'm back into the pain i felt when my last ex dumped me. Anyone else have some of the same experience? Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Anyone else have some of the same experience? Right today, we agreed to take a break until the end of June. I'm not sure what will happen. If he will rethink his decision. If he will resist for weeks not contacting me. The situation is pretty similar... going through a series of arguments, things got tense, we'd lash back/explode, it came from some frustration on both sides. He said he still has feelings, he loves me, etc. It's mainly the tension. Besides understanding how you feel right now, being in your shoes myself, I wouldn't know what else to say. Things might or might not work out. I have a long visit planned this fall. This might jeopardize everything, my entire trip. Right now, I'm not upset. It doesn't feel like a breakup. But it might turn into one. Let's just be prepared should the time come. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SDA Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 Right today, we agreed to take a break until the end of June. I'm not sure what will happen. If he will rethink his decision. If he will resist for weeks not contacting me. The situation is pretty similar... going through a series of arguments, things got tense, we'd lash back/explode, it came from some frustration on both sides. He said he still has feelings, he loves me, etc. It's mainly the tension. Besides understanding how you feel right now, being in your shoes myself, I wouldn't know what else to say. Things might or might not work out. I have a long visit planned this fall. This might jeopardize everything, my entire trip. Right now, I'm not upset. It doesn't feel like a breakup. But it might turn into one. Let's just be prepared should the time come. The only thing that has me going is that she has been testing my brothers girlfriend saying she wants to fix things but it's too soon for her and she needs time. Also she has told me numerous times since that were meant for eachother. I hate waiting. I am miserable. I know there's nothing else I can do but I'm just sitting here wondering where she is and whose she's with. My heart is shattered Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Being apart does not mean you have to go no contact. You can still email and texting each other. When people take a break it means one of them is not sure about the relationship. Just reach out and let her know how you feel. Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Being apart does not mean you have to go no contact. You can still email and texting each other. When people take a break it means one of them is not sure about the relationship. Just reach out and let her know how you feel. With some bad analogy, I could say that this concept would be like saying that if you need a vacation, you're not sure about your job. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SDA Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 Haha she knows how I feel, that's for sure. Like I've said, long distance is hard but I've heard constantly from her that we are meant for each other and she wants to fix things but needs time. She also texted me a couple hours ago saying she misses me and wants to talk a little bit. I don't want to get my hopes up so I said I would contact her a little later. Hesitating on what to do Link to post Share on other sites
madjac74 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 The only constant we've had is that we are confident we are meant for eachother. When we're together things are perfect. Only problem is, we've spent more time apart than we have together. Yes Ive been there and then you find someone else you were "meant for" that you can actually spend time with Link to post Share on other sites
Author SDA Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 To the post above me. I totally understand, I've thought that as well. A little update l, she says she wants to be civil and talk time to time to restart. I said as long as we're working towards getting back to a boyfriend and girlfriend level, I was willing to do so. She responded with that's "always been the goal" of the breakup to clear our heads and focus on ourselves but she can't predict when she'll be ready to ultimately jump back into it. She says it's impossible to predict, that's why "it'll be good for us to see eachother in August" So that's where I'm at. Just venting. As long as it's working towards us being together I'm willing to talk to her from time to time. But in no way will I put my life on hold. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden2 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 So you're open to the opportunities of going out, meeting new young ladies and dating, and having fun, letting your hair down, maybe hooking up and having a roll in the hay if the occasion arises, yes....? Link to post Share on other sites
Author SDA Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 So you're open to the opportunities of going out, meeting new young ladies and dating, and having fun, letting your hair down, maybe hooking up and having a roll in the hay if the occasion arises, yes....? I already have just didn't make me feel better Link to post Share on other sites
Author SDA Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 August is so far away. My heart is shattered and the ambiguity is killing me. Don't know how I will make it to August or her for that matter. She says she isn't happy but wants to stick to the game plan. Still, nothing is guaranteed when we talk in August in person. She says she "probably will feel good about us" by that time but still won't give me any real answers. She asked "Are you worried I won't come back to you, because that's the goal" and I said that of course and I'm worried august will come and nothing will change. And she said "I understand." It's all ****ed Link to post Share on other sites
justwhoiam Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 I guess I can't put up with so much cr-p. Our "break" really lasted like 2 days. Officially, it was over today. I'm glad we're getting back on track. And I hope the best for you too. I want to pay it forward and I will be praying for you that you get the best outcome, whatever it is. The success of your situation probably depends on how solid the foundations were since the beginning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author SDA Posted June 11, 2015 Author Share Posted June 11, 2015 I guess I can't put up with so much cr-p. Our "break" really lasted like 2 days. Officially, it was over today. I'm glad we're getting back on track. And I hope the best for you too. I want to pay it forward and I will be praying for you that you get the best outcome, whatever it is. The success of your situation probably depends on how solid the foundations were since the beginning. For a year things were great. We were doing fine. For 2 months things were rocky. I just feel like the problems we were having could be fixed. 6 more weeks is hard to wait. I'm happy you're back on track. thank you for your prayers. Link to post Share on other sites
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