wonderwoman83 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I was with my ex for over a year, everything was brilliant, he was kind caring, consistent etc. We had a holiday booked and talk of moving in, everything Was good. Then il never know if it was that he got too comfy after thr year or his close pal recently became single. So he was always out then canceling on me as he was too hungover. When I let him know that I was concerned that he had changed...he went on the attack. he said I need to go speak to someone as I had lost the plot and how he quits our relationship, how I have too much time to think and he is too hung over to deal with me. This is completely out of character for him, I have never ever seen this side. Anyway that was 5 weeks and ive never seen or heard from him since. But yesterday friends told me that he has now deleted them all from social media! He had a great relationship with my friends so I'm a bit stunned to why he's done this. I honestly thought he would just need time to cool down and I would hear from him, but nothing, he seems to be cutting ever connection to me off, why??? Does he hate me that much. I honestly thought our relationship was better than this! Advice and kind words needed please Link to post Share on other sites
backandforth Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Hey Wonderwoman83, I'm really sorry you're going through this, it seems like a d*ck move on his part. I mean, if he wanted to break up with you he could've mustered up the balls to to tell you properly. In regard to the FB thing, I can only speak from my experience. When my ex and I split (semi-amicable but still really painful), I deleted ALL of her friends and family. Not because I didn't like them any more, in fact, I care for them all very much. But I had to do it to move on and heal. Remote possibility he's doing this but your situation sounds a little different. Anyways, hope it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Two possibilities, as I see it: 1) The break-up was harder on him than he let on, and doesn't want to deal with reminders of you and your life together 2) He's posting pictures or updates that he doesn't want you to know about, so he's deleted all your friends and family so word doesn't get back to you. Can you still see his social media? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwoman83 Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 I wouldnt dare to look at his social media, I've managed 5 weeks no contact since the day "he quit" I wouldn't want to see something that set me back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
misspond Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Don't think of it in terms of him hating you. It's not about you, it's about him. Social media can be a nightmare for everyone when there's a break-up, and everyone is better off without it at that point. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 If his connection to those people was you it makes sense that he severs contact with them. Why would he want to continue? Why would you or them want him around even virtually? Alcohol makes people do stupid things. Now he's chosing booze & partying over you. You let him go & find somebody with better priorities. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ASV Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Two possibilities, as I see it: 1) The break-up was harder on him than he let on, and doesn't want to deal with reminders of you and your life together 2) He's posting pictures or updates that he doesn't want you to know about, so he's deleted all your friends and family so word doesn't get back to you. Can you still see his social media? Thanks for this. I was experiencing some kind of hell at thinking why did she do the same thing with my friends, even with one whom maintained some contact after our BU. And not, she hasn't ever posted anything when we were together so it wouldn't make sense that she starts to do so now. Call me cynical, but the feeling that she's suffering mourning the relationship as well makes me a lot more comfortable and confident with it. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I wouldnt dare to look at his social media, I've managed 5 weeks no contact since the day "he quit" I wouldn't want to see something that set me back. Smart girl! Stay NC from this point on. My ex quit on me and never heard another word. It helped me heal and move on so much quicker. What he did is a strong sign that he was over the relationship and as mentioned, didn't want anything further to do we those people. He also didn't want to not be able to post things on his FB w/out you learning about it. People do this as a means of severing all ties to a past relationship. Everyone I know who's had a relationship end goes to FB and does a "clean up on aisle 9" on it. Just as people don't leave pictures of them with the ex on there dresser, they also don't leave them or their acquaintances on FB either. Stay NC, heal and move on to someone better than he turned out to be after the honeymoon phase ended. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwoman83 Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 Stay NC, heal and move on to someone better than he turned out to be after the honeymoon phase ended. Do you think that's why the sudden change, the honeymoon period was over? That's my problem I struggle with change and I'm still very much in love with him, but the guy he was in the honey moon period if that's what it was, it's like I can't or won't accept that wasnt really him Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 No I don't think he changed because the HM period was over. I think his newly single buddy & the excitement of the partying life held more allure for him then you . . . sorry 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I've met a really interesting guy, like that. I really liked him and he really liked me. However, he liked more sleeping with multiple women than just one. Fair enough, at least he'd realized it before we got serious... horrible thing, that your (ex)bf treats you this poorly after one year. I am really sorry. He shows no compassion for you, no respect for your RS or for your family... Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Do you think that's why the sudden change, the honeymoon period was over? That's my problem I struggle with change and I'm still very much in love with him, but the guy he was in the honey moon period if that's what it was, it's like I can't or won't accept that wasnt really him I certainly wouldn't rule out that the luster and excitement of the relationship waned and coupled with his buddy suddenly being single, he bolted from the relationship. The HM phase can last different lengths for different people. My ex let her hair down around 6-7 months in. I was shocked at how different she was when she wasn't "in her words" on her best behavior. She was NOT the woman I fell in love with. But it doesn't matter. He kicked you to the curb and know you need to vanish from his life and stay NC for YOU to heal and move on. Also, recognize that dumpers suddenly reappear after a while if they aren't having any luck being single or find themselves lonely or horny. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 wonderwoman, believe me when I say I can totally relate to your story. It'll be six weeks tomorrow since we broke up and when he left me one of the reasons he stated was because he wanted to be "free" to party with his buddies. That hurt a lot, especially since I never kept him from going out. He was also very sweet for about the first nine months of our relationship, and when he broke it off he had the nerve to say "we haven't been happy for almost a year". Sometimes it's so frustrating when that other person seems to "give up" on you and you fight for the relationship. Some guys are so dedicated to their friends that it's hard for them to feel left out by the group if all of their buddies are all single. Once my ex's last married buddy left the state, I knew it would affect our relationship. Sure enough, not even a month later he was gone. My ex also kept some mutual friends on Facebook, and deleted others. He has really not made any efforts outside of a couple of run ins in person to talk to me. It is very painful. Just keep him blocked. It helps quite a bit. Anytime you even think of unblocking, imagine all the pain it would cause you to see if he was dating someone else. Sometimes it's therapeutic to "cut ties" to an ex even through Facebook. Your ex doesn't seem all that nice. The drinking and partying will catch up to him eventually. Without the security and support a relationship provides, some people really go off the deep end after a breakup and do stupid things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author wonderwoman83 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 Thank you so much for listening and giving advice everyone. It's such a weight off my shoulders for people to understand and know what it feels like. I sometimes think friends and family are very good just to say "forget him" "his loss" so it's so nice for people to know exactly where I'm coming from! I'm my own worst enemy, although I keep busy with work, gym, dogs and friends. BUT I absolutely hate change and not that I want to I ANALYSE EVERTHING So I drive myself crazy going over the last month of being together. Thanks again guys you have honestly made feel better!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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