Cold Approaches?

[jay1983]

How can you claim you know better what women want than me who's a woman? You don't get a reply because you're not their type. That's all. Don't worry women know what they're worth and if a woman at 6 on a scale of attractiveness gets a message from a man 10 she will feel something fishy is going on.

 

If women have better luck then how come I've been online dating for 3,5 years and I am still single. Online is not easy, no one said it's suppose to be.

 

Gaeta most women especially younger women don't think like that. You've never seen those threads that pop up where the guys start trolling putting up pics of male models? They do that and start taking screen shots to show their results or make a video showing the proof

[SycamoreCircle]

'Not my type' essentially means you're ugly. I've messaged girls anywhere from a 6-10 on my scale, and I'm not planning on going any lower than that. If I'm not ANY of their types then I must be on the wrong planet lol.

I would strongly encourage you to get out of that rating system mentality. Better to apply it to personality and interests. On a scale of 1-10 how much does this woman's lifestyle compare to my own? Does she like cafes and books? Does she want to spend her weekends hiking and camping? Does she enjoy sports? Does she like to cook? Does she seem self-absorbed or genuinely engaged with the world around her?

[JuneJulySeptember]

'Not my type' essentially means you're ugly. I've messaged girls anywhere from a 6-10 on my scale, and I'm not planning on going any lower than that. If I'm not ANY of their types then I must be on the wrong planet lol.

 

I'm not saying it should be easy, but you've had a couple of dates I assume.

 

I don't mean to be pessimistic, but that is the exact reason a lot of people quit dating. Men and women, but most women are never fully out of it because men approach. But they cannot find anybody who they are physically attracted to who is attracted to them.

[Gary S]

Of course cold approaches work.... that was the way a lot of people used to meet before OLD came along.

 

Just have a conversation and ask the woman to put her number in your phone. The very best way is to get them to hit on you first.

[Gaeta]

Gaeta most women especially younger women don't think like that. You've never seen those threads that pop up where the guys start trolling putting up pics of male models? They do that and start taking screen shots to show their results or make a video showing the proof

 

Geez! how young are we talking about here so they can't tell it's a fake picture lol

[Emilia]

I'd never trust a man who cold approached me and was actually good at it. Happens and if he is s bit awkward I'll chat, if he is smooth I brush him off. I never give out my number to strangers though.

[jay1983]

Geez! how young are we talking about here so they can't tell it's a fake picture lol

 

Thry get those butterflies in their stomach and all rational thinking goes out the window. Lol

[Gaeta]

Of course cold approaches work.... that was the way a lot of people used to meet before OLD came along.

 

Just have a conversation and ask the woman to put her number in your phone. The very best way is to get them to hit on you first.

 

I think what works is to work your circle and everyone you know circles. You tell your family, friends, colleagues, neighbors you are looking and to think of anyone they could introduce to you.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I would strongly encourage you to get out of that rating system mentality. Better to apply it to personality and interests. On a scale of 1-10 how much does this woman's lifestyle compare to my own? Does she like cafes and books? Does she want to spend her weekends hiking and camping? Does she enjoy sports? Does she like to cook? Does she seem self-absorbed or genuinely engaged with the world around her?

 

From what I gathered, that's what he was doing.

 

HDo you have any idea how many women I've messaged on OLD who have similar interest as me, matching opinions, and who I happen to find attractive? MANY and NONE have ever responded to me EVER.

 

And I have actually had a similar experience. I'm more likely to get a response from a [less traditionally in the eyes of society] attractive female who has a bare profile or very little in common with me background wise than from an average female where we match on everything non physical.

 

Because non-physical, I'm a pretty decent catch. Graduate degree, all kinds of city and outdoors interests, somewhat decent salary, etc.

 

But anyway, I know that's how it is. I'm just saying, ya know.

[Jonp219]

I would strongly encourage you to get out of that rating system mentality. Better to apply it to personality and interests. On a scale of 1-10 how much does this woman's lifestyle compare to my own? Does she like cafes and books? Does she want to spend her weekends hiking and camping? Does she enjoy sports? Does she like to cook? Does she seem self-absorbed or genuinely engaged with the world around her?

 

I completely understand that, but are you really going to pursue a woman who you're not physically attracted to? I'm out here looking for models nor am I shallow, in fact most women I've dated don't fall into that category at all. However when it comes to men, especially men, what we see is the first thing that we like. Let's say you meet a 5-6 on your phsycial appearence scale, if her interest and personality coorelate with yours then that would push her up to a 9-10.

[SycamoreCircle]

I completely understand that, but are you really going to pursue a woman who you're not physically attracted to? I'm out here looking for models nor am I shallow, in fact most women I've dated don't fall into that category at all. However when it comes to men, especially men, what we see is the first thing that we like. Let's say you meet a 5-6 on your phsycial appearence scale, if her interest and personality coorelate with yours then that would push her up to a 9-10.

No doubt. Rely on everything that is male within you. But after your eye has settled on that hot tamale on the other side of the room, evaluate how much the two of you really have in common. Does she dress provocatively? Do you dress provocatively? Does she seem to be the center of attention? Are you the center of attention? We can tell so much about people without putting ourselves in a position of humiliation or rejection.

[PrettyEmily77]

A word of caution re. cold approaches - some women have no time for it all. I used to be cold approached a fair bit in my 20s and it always made me feel uncomfortable, whatever the guy looked like or his approach. As a consequence, I was a bit too blunt in the way I dealt with it on occasions; not really proud of it now, though, with hindsight. If you decide to go down that road, learn not to take it personally if the girl isn't interested; even better, gauge her level of interest like eye contact and such before approaching her.

[jay1983]

No doubt. Rely on everything that is male within you. But after your eye has settled on that hot tamale on the other side of the room, evaluate how much the two of you really have in common. Does she dress provocatively? Do you dress provocatively? Does she seem to be the center of attention? Are you the center of attention? We can tell so much about people without putting ourselves in a position of humiliation or rejection.

 

This is the key. I'll simplify. Look for sings of interest, eye contact and a smile is your golden ticket. If she won't look at you, you're not on her radar.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I completely understand that, but are you really going to pursue a woman who you're not physically attracted to? I'm out here looking for models nor am I shallow, in fact most women I've dated don't fall into that category at all. However when it comes to men, especially men, what we see is the first thing that we like. Let's say you meet a 5-6 on your phsycial appearence scale, if her interest and personality coorelate with yours then that would push her up to a 9-10.

 

You just said you did it before though and you ended up going out for 4 years.

[SycamoreCircle]

From what I gathered, that's what he was doing.

Was it?

 

'Not my type' essentially means you're ugly. I've messaged girls anywhere from a 6-10 on my scale, and I'm not planning on going any lower than that. If I'm not ANY of their types then I must be on the wrong planet lol.

 

It sounds to me like he's speaking in terms of physical appearance.

[jay1983]

A word of caution re. cold approaches - some women have no time for it all. I used to be cold approached a fair bit in my 20s and it always made me feel uncomfortable, whatever the guy looked like or his approach. As a consequence, I was a bit too blunt in the way I dealt with it on occasions; not really proud of it now, though, with hindsight. If you decide to go down that road, learn not to take it personally if the girl isn't interested; even better, gauge her level of interest like eye contact and such before approaching her.

 

After so many guys stopping you, it started getting on your nerves?

[fitnessfan365]

I have ....um a lot of success with cold approaches lol, but most significantly I met one of my (real) GFs that way. It terrifies me to think of having not done that now, but it was never really in question anyway - one of those absolutely-no-way-I-won't-talk-to-this-girl-one-way-or-the-other moments. Thank god.

 

Well let's be honest. An attractive woman is going to have a far easier time cold approaching.

 

But I'm curious. Have you ever eyed a woman you were attracted to that was out with guy, made a move when he stepped away, and walked away with her number/interest? If so, you've got game Jen and it's also pretty f**king hot too.

[Jonp219]

And I have actually had a similar experience. I'm more likely to get a response from a [less traditionally in the eyes of society] attractive female who has a bare profile or very little in common with me background wise than from an average female where we match on everything non physical.

 

Because non-physical, I'm a pretty decent catch. Graduate degree, all kinds of city and outdoors interests, somewhat decent salary, etc.

 

But anyway, I know that's how it is. I'm just saying, ya know.

 

Bro, I get likes from the most trashiest women on these sites it's ridiculous. I could tell they're trashy just by the photos they take and their profiles don't say much about them either.

 

Me on the other hand I have my B.B.A degree, a decent job, and I like writing on my free time. Not that impressive, but hey, I'm a work in progress.

 

At times it makes me feel discouraged and I begin to question my self worth. I start asking myself, "Damn, are these the type of women I attract? Is this a reflection of me? :(".

 

But I guess that's how the cookie crumbles lol

[Gary S]

I think what works is to work your circle and everyone you know circles. You tell your family, friends, colleagues, neighbors you are looking and to think of anyone they could introduce to you.

 

- Those are called blind dates. That and OLD are the two top ways people meet these days.

[PrettyEmily77]

After so many guys stopping you, it started getting on your nerves?

 

Yes. Also, you never really know a guy's true intentions when he randomly approaches you, and I'm not one for ONS or short-term stuff so the whole thing just made me feel uncomfortable, to be honest. Nothing to do with the guys themselves obvs as I didn't know them; just not my thing at all.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Was it?

 

'Not my type' essentially means you're ugly. I've messaged girls anywhere from a 6-10 on my scale, and I'm not planning on going any lower than that. If I'm not ANY of their types then I must be on the wrong planet lol.

 

It sounds to me like he's speaking in terms of physical appearance.

 

Well yea. But he's just doing what the women who are rejecting him are doing. Why should he have to compromise?

 

I mean, I will do what you say. I will give a woman a chance even though her looks don't catch my eye in any way, but I would say 99% of people will not. Not to say I'm better, just that I have made up my mind to do that and I have my reasons.

[SycamoreCircle]

Well let's be honest. An attractive woman is going to have a far easier time cold approaching.

 

But I'm curious. Have you ever eyed a woman you were attracted to that was out with guy, made a move when he stepped away, and walked away with her number/interest? If so, you've got game Jen and it's also pretty f**king hot too.

Also, and I may get blasted for this, but I think homosexuals can get away with more overt flirtation. It's very apparent in OLD. How many profiles have I run across on OLD where women looking for other women are flaunting the sumptuousness of their female forms while comfortably expressing that casual sex is on the table? Homosexuality enjoys a liberation heterosexuality can't hold a candle to. Take it away, Jen...

[Jonp219]

You just said you did it before though and you ended up going out for 4 years.

 

I did it because my friend convinced me. I felt more comfortable knowing that her and my friend were going to be there, it was a double date. Besides, she looked really cute when she would get all dressed up lol.

[SycamoreCircle]

I mean, I will do what you say. I will give a woman a chance even though her looks don't catch my eye in any way, but I would say 99% of people will not. Not to say I'm better, just that I have made up my mind to do that and I have my reasons.

That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying...be male...let the eye rule...but temper it with observation of other, deeper considerations.

[JuneJulySeptember]

Bro, I get likes from the most trashiest women on these sites it's ridiculous. I could tell they're trashy just by the photos they take and their profiles don't say much about them either.

 

Me on the other hand I have my B.B.A degree, a decent job, and I like writing on my free time. Not that impressive, but hey, I'm a work in progress.

 

At times it makes me feel discouraged and I begin to question my self worth. I start asking myself, "Damn, are these the type of women I attract? Is this a reflection of me? :(".

 

But I guess that's how the cookie crumbles lol

 

Well, you're just kind of playing the same game though.

 

I mean, I'm not judging because EVERYBODY does it.

 

Maybe a woman who has the same credentials as you and could pass for your sister rejects you 9 out of 10 times. Maybe that's how things are.

 

That's why I try and get out of the game myself. Income, looks, children. I'm flexible. Except no more than 2 kids from experience and even 2 is sketchy.

 

I mean, we are just here a very short time, yet we insist on turning life into a big penis (or booby) swinging contest. We just have to do what makes us happy.