Cold Approaches?

[Jonp219]

Well, you're just kind of playing the same game though.

 

I mean, I'm not judging because EVERYBODY does it.

 

Maybe a woman who has the same credentials as you and could pass for your sister rejects you 9 out of 10 times. Maybe that's how things are.

 

That's why I try and get out of the game myself. Income, looks, children. I'm flexible. Except no more than 2 kids from experience and even 2 is sketchy.

 

I mean, we are just here a very short time, yet we insist on turning life into a big penis (or booby) swinging contest. We just have to do what makes us happy.

 

I think there's just something wrong with my inner game. Maybe I need to be more Alpha Male-ish .

[JuneJulySeptember]

I did it because my friend convinced me. I felt more comfortable knowing that her and my friend were going to be there, it was a double date. Besides, she looked really cute when she would get all dressed up lol.

 

I'm saying if that is the case, then you might be willing to give a chance to women who are below your 6 online.

 

I mean, it's up to you really.

 

I message women literally all over the middle of the scale down and my results are still pretty bad.

 

It's fun to meet people though.

[fitnessfan365]

Yes. Also, you never really know a guy's true intentions when he randomly approaches you, and I'm not one for ONS or short-term stuff so the whole thing just made me feel uncomfortable, to be honest. Nothing to do with the guys themselves obvs as I didn't know them; just not my thing at all.

 

Well when a guy cold approaches all he has to go on is your looks. It's not like he can read your mind or see into your soul and gauge your personality..LOL

 

So most guys that cold approach just want to chat for a bit and get you on a date with them. On the date itself, they determine what direction they want it to go.

[preraph]

I think there's a little misconception about cold approaches, that you just ask a woman out and she goes. The guys who can meet women and women who can meet the men they want are confident enough to just start talking to them or walk up to a group or a couple of people and just start talking about the surroundings. They aren't going up and saying, "Hey good lookin, can I have your number?" They're saying something about the environment or a ball game or a band. They're saying things like, "Wow, it's really crowded in here," or "Cowboys - WOOOOO!" or "Great band!" or "This coffee smells great." They're making small talk, which it's fine to do. Probably the best way to do it is one of those comments I just listed but then walk away, go get a drink, then circle back by and see if the woman acknowledges you when she sees you coming her direction. If not, then keep walking. If she smiles, then settle in beside her for more small talk.

[PrettyEmily77]

Well when a guy cold approaches all he has to go on is your looks. It's not like he can read your mind or see into your soul and gauge your personality..LOL

 

So most guys that cold approach just want to chat for a bit and get you on a date with them. On the date itself, they determine what direction they want it to go.

 

Yes, but a lot more are after easy hook-ups unfortunately, IME.

[Emilia]

Yes, but a lot more are after easy hook-ups unfortunately, IME.

 

Of course. It's much better to date men you already know

[Jonp219]

Of course. It's much better to date men you already know

 

You could tell which ones are only in it for sex.

[jen1447]

That's also the way my stalker feels lol

Only difference is I'd only try it once.

 

Wait can some of you tell me what you would define as a cold approach?

 

Because when people think of NYC and cold approach in the same sentence they're usually associating it with something similar to "cat calling".

 

And I understand, because I see that **** a lot and it's cringe worthy to say the least.

To clarify, I'm definitely not talking about anytime/anywhere (unless I'm really desperate lol). It has to be in a socially acceptable environment to begin with. That doesn't mean just clubs, but it does mean not screaming at somebody from across the street while they're getting in a cab and running in their direction.

 

Well let's be honest. An attractive woman is going to have a far easier time cold approaching.

 

But I'm curious. Have you ever eyed a woman you were attracted to that was out with guy, made a move when he stepped away, and walked away with her number/interest? If so, you've got game Jen and it's also pretty f**king hot too.

Yes.

 

Also, and I may get blasted for this, but I think homosexuals can get away with more overt flirtation. It's very apparent in OLD. How many profiles have I run across on OLD where women looking for other women are flaunting the sumptuousness of their female forms while comfortably expressing that casual sex is on the table? Homosexuality enjoys a liberation heterosexuality can't hold a candle to. Take it away, Jen...

Actually you're right, in my experience. I don't know much about gay/guy dynamics, but with women there does tend to be an inherent liberation that allows you to go places much more quickly than guys can. I've done the dazzle routine and gotten numbers in just a couple minutes and in so doing mentioned how crazy beautiful a woman was or how she made me weak in the knees, etc. - sth I suppose most guys would be creepered for in short order. Women are less of a threat to other women in most circumstances, and with already bisexual or lesbian women, we're almost sth of a safe haven. I do have a very well developed ability to just put people at ease tho too.

 

I think there's just something wrong with my inner game. Maybe I need to be more Alpha Male-ish .

No! (I swear I'm gonna slap you Jon. ) Don't 'be alpha' if you're not aplha. That doesn't mean be a pussy, but you can make a good impression by just being a laid back guy who's content to go with the flow. If you look nice/dress nice and appear relaxed and content, that will tend to be attractive.

[fitnessfan365]

No! (I swear I'm gonna slap you Jon. ) Don't 'be alpha' if you're not aplha. That doesn't mean be a pussy, but you can make a good impression by just being a laid back guy who's content to go with the flow. If you look nice/dress nice and appear relaxed and content, that will tend to be attractive.

 

This is actually good advice. I think it's better to let that side out once you get to know a woman a bit better and things are heading towards the bedroom. In the beginning, especially when a woman doesn't even know you, a more laid back calm/confident demeanor is better.

[Gaeta]

Well what a coincidence. I got cold approached this very afternoon while I was waiting for my DATE.

 

I am waiting for my date in a park. Coast guard came up to me, he probably thought his uniform would bring him luck. He asked for my number, I politely declined saying I was waiting for my date. Then he says to give it to him anyway in case it doesn't work out with my date !! I said I was flattered but I did not wish to give him my number.

 

I cannot believe cold approaches works better than online.

 

Also, this man was at least 15 years older than me !! If you are to try cold approaches than please keep it real and aim within your range.

[misspond]

Something that worked with me a couple of times when I was in my early thirties was when a man approached me and said, "Hi! Um. I can see you're busy with your friends and I'd love to ask for your number but that might be a bit much. So here's mine, and if you'd like to grab a drink sometime then that would be awesome." Then you hang around for a bit more chat just to not look like a total tw@t.

 

if she's interested then she'll get in touch. If not then no harm done and she doesn't feel awkward for having to refuse to give her number. YOU however have to grow a slightly thicker skin than you have now.....

Edited June 6, 2015 by misspond

[Emilia]

You could tell which ones are only in it for sex.

 

I want to be able to tell whether I want to date him at all.

[Jonp219]

Well what a coincidence. I got cold approached this very afternoon while I was waiting for my DATE.

 

I am waiting for my date in a park. Coast guard came up to me, he probably thought his uniform would bring him luck. He asked for my number, I politely declined saying I was waiting for my date. Then he says to give it to him anyway in case it doesn't work out with my date !! I said I was flattered but I did not wish to give him my number.

 

I cannot believe cold approaches works better than online.

 

Also, this man was at least 15 years older than me !! If you are to try cold approaches than please keep it real and aim within your range.

 

For men I think they would see more results from cold approaches compared to OLD.

Edited June 6, 2015 by Jonp219

[Phoe]

I've never been cold approached.

 

I have seen a handful of what I am pretty sure were cold approaches happen around me when out and about, but none of them appeared particularly successful. The girls seemed friendly and polite, but not very interested in chatting.

 

I figure it's a matter of right place and right time in order for it to not just seem... out of place.

[JuneJulySeptember]

I've never been cold approached.

 

 

You're hot!

 

Wanna go for coffee?

 

Now you have.

[Phoe]

You're hot!

 

Wanna go for coffee?

 

Now you have.

 

LOL!

 

Well.... one of the key factors, IMO, about a cold approach, is that it's someone who is a complete stranger, totally unacquainted. While we've never met, I'd say we're acquainted in a sense, you know?

 

All the approaches I've had, were by someone who I was acquainted with and had interacted with before (barring OLD, which is basically nothing but approaches, given the context. Signing up forOLD is pretty much putting a big sign on that says "Approach me! I am here to date!"). I imagine that women mostly being approach by people they are already acquainted with is likely the normal thing for most women (I could be wrong, just speaking based on logic!)

 

But this girl is off the market

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

I don't see why they should be avoided, since by not doing this your are limiting your opportunities

[Jonp219]

I don't see why they should be avoided, since by not doing this your are limiting your opportunities

 

True. It's scary as hell to do but I'm going to have to get use to it. It's probably the easiest way to meet someone.

I go to the bar, girls are with guys. I go to a lounge, girls are with guys. I go to a Meet up, there's more guys than girls and none of the girls are my type. It's frustrating.