treehugger101 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Yesturday while out with my Boyfriend he noticed my lady facial hair on my lower lip and chin and also along my arms. I do naturally have dark brown hair. So even if I shave and it's growing back in, it is noticable at times. This was the first time he said anything about my facial hair and arm hair and asked me to remove the hair. I told him I did shave off the hair on my chin and lower lip the day before, but it was already growing back. As for my arm hair I only shaved that off once during high school because an ex-Boyfriend told me women weren't suppose to have hair on the arms. So I removed it. I know you can remove hair in a number of ways. From waxing, shaving, make up, laser, threading, etc. But is there a best method to allow the hair to be gone for a while before it comes back so quickly? What do you do? Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I had laser on my armpits and bikini area. I love it! I would do my legs too but it's too expensive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 I had laser on my armpits and bikini area. I love it! I would do my legs too but it's too expensive. Did the laser really remove it for good it does it still come back? Did the laser hurt? Doesn't doing laser cause cancer or some other illness's? Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Did the laser really remove it for good it does it still come back? Did the laser hurt? Doesn't doing laser cause cancer or some other illness's? The hair doesn't come back. It stings a bit, like getting snapped with a rubber band over and over, but you can take it and it's worth it. You have to go through several cycles of this before it's gone for good. I've not heard of it causing cancer or other illnesses. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 This was the first time he said anything about my facial hair and arm hair and asked me to remove the hair. I probably wouldn't be o.k. with a guy telling me to remove arm hair. I doubt you look like a gorilla. I'd wonder what else he was picking apart on my body. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
still_an_Angel Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 How much hair you have is something you can't control, he should be accepting of that IMHO. How YOU want to keep things mowed or waxed or lasered is for you to decide and do because this is how you want things to be, not because you want to please him. But anyways, I find waxing on a regular basis keeps hair away. I'm not very hairy so about a monthly visit to my wax lady is sufficient. I used to go every other week but found over time, the hair doesn't grow back as fast. Link to post Share on other sites
Author treehugger101 Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 Well I did shave the areas he mentioned and will show him and see what he thinks. Otherwise I was very hurt he told me this I thought my hair looked fine. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Well I did shave the areas he mentioned and will show him and see what he thinks. Otherwise I was very hurt he told me this I thought my hair looked fine. Personally, I would dump him. It's not your choice whether you grow hair or not and he needs to accept that you are a dark-haired woman and that shadows can happen. It's not up to him to tell you how to appear 'feminine'. There are guys out there who will accept you as you are and be thrilled to have you as a girlfriend. Don't waste your time on this guy, he's shallow and brainwashed by the beauty industry's views of women. He's truly not worth it. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Yesturday while out with my Boyfriend he noticed my lady facial hair on my lower lip and chin and also along my arms. I do naturally have dark brown hair. So even if I shave and it's growing back in, it is noticable at times. This was the first time he said anything about my facial hair and arm hair and asked me to remove the hair. I told him I did shave off the hair on my chin and lower lip the day before, but it was already growing back. As for my arm hair I only shaved that off once during high school because an ex-Boyfriend told me women weren't suppose to have hair on the arms. So I removed it. I know you can remove hair in a number of ways. From waxing, shaving, make up, laser, threading, etc. But is there a best method to allow the hair to be gone for a while before it comes back so quickly? What do you do? I've never heard of a woman shaving or waxing her arms. Legs yes, but not arms. Trim the hairs on the chin and above your upper lip, use a good pair of hair cutting scissors. It happens, hairs appear in places you don't want them to be when you get older, I'm 44 and not pleased with it but I'm not ready to spend any money on removing it for good. Or waxing (it hurts). Your boyfriend needs to lay off and accept ALL of you. Why does it bother him so much? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I like the Nair wax strips. They have some specially for the face. They work very well at removing upper lip hair as long as you read the directions carefully. The hair usually stays away for about two weeks, give or take a few days. They're not very expensive, either. They also have some for arms and legs, but they don't work well for me. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Personally, I would dump him. It's not your choice whether you grow hair or not and he needs to accept that you are a dark-haired woman and that shadows can happen. It's not up to him to tell you how to appear 'feminine'. There are guys out there who will accept you as you are and be thrilled to have you as a girlfriend. Don't waste your time on this guy, he's shallow and brainwashed by the beauty industry's views of women. He's truly not worth it. How is that being shallow? A woman with facial hair is gross IMO I do not care about arm hair I could live with that . Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 treehugger, I find it hard to believe that this is the first time your bf noticed this? Many ladies with dark hair also have body/facial hair that is dark, so I don't think he can be totally unaware of it. There are many choices for hair removal but I would be doing it for you not for him. Personally I think he's being really rude and I would call him out on this. Does he pick fault with anything else about you? - If so, beware..... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
regine_phalange Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Don't put laser on your face. I did and regretted it. In some areas it went away allright, but because I'm mediterranean I started growing hair in other areas that I had very light and soft fuzz (google laser hair removal paradox). Now I'm doing electrolysis and it's good, even though it hurts. Thank god the new hairs weren't many because I noticed early that something was off! But for arm hair it's very good. I have had 3 sessions and I have half of the hair I used to have. But I have read about people having issues with arm hair overgrowth as well, just like the face. I'm scared to do more laser sessions, I'm happy the way it is, it's barely visible now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 OP, I'm careful about grooming dark facial hair, but like I said, I'm going to draw the line at arm hair. Significant or dark facial hair is generally considered socially unacceptable for women, and I will cater to that, however I also recognize that it's absolutely ridiculous that people (as above) find facial or body hair "gross" on a woman. I'm not going to be with a guy who finds me "gross" because of HAIR. Hair on women is a social game about gender roles that we might choose to play, but giving it any meaning beyond that is just stupid and I wouldn't respect someone who doesn't see it for what it is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I have seen very hairy arms on women. If a man comments it must be bad. Shaving makes things worse and you can still see the dark hair roots. Waxing, plucking hairs from your face after and laser are all good. I've been having a laser treatment on my bikini line and it's been fantastic, it works better the darker the hair! Only 10 minutes once every 6 weeks then goes down to once a year. No more ingrown hairs and smooth like a baby's bottom. Don't dump the guy over this OP. That's bad advice from the women. I'm sure you expect some personal grooming from a man (if you don't, you should) it's the same thing. No-one likes a frump. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Jessie1231 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I've always wanted to try laser but never have. I do bikini waxing. I've never done my arms, but I know they do arms there. I love bikini waxing. As long as you stick to it (every six weeks for me) the hair grows back thinner each time and waxing becomes less painful each visit. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Aside from the fact that it sounds like he was pretty rude about it... I wouldn't shave either of those areas as you will just end up with sharp stubble. You can get something called an Epiwand for your face. I have a much cheaper version of the same thing and it works great. Mine cost me about £1.50 on Amazon. Look up Epiwand on Youtube. For arms I would use an epilator. I have very fair hair but I have used this on my legs and arms (simply as I don't like my arm fluff) for a while now and the hairs grow back less and less and any re-growth is soft rather than stubbly. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I've been waxing everywhere since I was 18. Have only ever seen positives in it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Torii Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 IMO, be happy with how you are. You don't need to shave any part of your body that you don't want to shave to make your boyfriend happy. It's natural and normal to have hair everywhere on our bodies, some places more noticeable than others. I have hair on my arms too. I'm pretty sure everybody here does, to some degree. My arm hair is noticeable, but that's because I know every inch of my own body. I don't think anybody takes the time to squint their eyes to really see if I have any shadows due to naturally occurring hair follicles and I don't believe they do this with you neither, unless they really have nothing better to do with the time they spend with you. We have hair everywhere, on every inch of our bodies. Noticeable or not, it's still technically there whether it's pointed out by other people or by you. Just be comfortable with it, know it's natural. This doesn't mean not groom yourself, do all you want to make yourself feel beautiful but don't be so concerned about your bodily image. You're not the only one with hair - I'm pretty sure your boyfriend has more hair on his arms than you do! He should love you for you - hair and all, darling. Link to post Share on other sites
compulsivedancer Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 I agree he's a jerk. I have had electrolysis on my armpits. I think it's the best choice for a small area, because it's permanent the first time and works on everyone (people with light hair or dark skin often have trouble with laser). You also don't have to worry about that overgrowth thing. It can take multiple treatments to get a whole area (because there are multiple stages of hair growth), but once you've done a hair, it's done. I'd do electrolysis on your face and laser on your arms. (But only if YOU feel it's necessary, not for him!) Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 Personal grooming has its place. I preferred facial laser and after five treatments the area in question no longer has an effect on appearance. I rarely shoot the messenger for making a comment that is of concern. I take it into consideration and decide if its true to my life/well being choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Robert Z Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 How much hair you have is something you can't control, he should be accepting of that IMHO. How YOU want to keep things mowed or waxed or lasered is for you to decide and do because this is how you want things to be, not because you want to please him. Yes, lord knows you don't want to do something just because your bf or husband might like it. It is all about you! Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted June 17, 2015 Share Posted June 17, 2015 The facial hair thing I can kind of understand, but asking you to shave your arms is just weird IMO. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sol0420 Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 I think it really matters the way he asked for you to remove this hair. Was it more leaning towards an opinion? or a demand? If the first, I think you should consider it as a compromise in your relationship and if there is also something physical in him that you can't stand and needs a change. If it is a demand you should not tolerate it, it is your body and if he can't stand it for superficial reasons that is his problem not yours. P.S The arm hair is just overreacting, that is normal! unless you are a model or actress that needs to be "physically perfect" all the time -_- Link to post Share on other sites
PogoStick Posted June 24, 2015 Share Posted June 24, 2015 A little peach fuzz on a woman doesn't bother me but some women have quite a bit of facial hair and it does turn me off. I know some ladies can't help it but /shrug. I'm all for some kind of removal besides shaving. Link to post Share on other sites
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