X Posted March 16, 2001 Share Posted March 16, 2001 I've been doing karate for a couple of months and suddenly this girl and her father came into class. also wanting to do karate at first it was like, she's cute! looks nice! but al of a sudden we had to spar together and the the thing of sparring together is to look one another in the eye and then it happened i got hooked she looked at me and i looked back and there was this like shyness about the 2 of us i could'nt let it go and started to stare and could not concentrate at all at what the teacher said. and now for the last weeks i've been trying to be cool about it. And empty my mind of any feeling i may get when i look at her but it does'nt work. But the thing is there are actually 3 things: 1 her dad is in the lessons aswell he drives her home so i don't have much time to talk to her. 2 she's 16 and i'm 20 is this a bad thing coz for me it's a big age gap. I don't know how she feels about me because i'm starting to interpret some things. coz we look each other in the eye sometimes and i am starting to question my own objectivity thinking shes also interested in me . and 4th but not least i'm 20 but i'v never intensivly kissed a girl on the mouth or have ever had sex with someone(this is because of trouble with my self being depressed and so on in my younger years) i've had my heart broken by girls i've befriended but this has left me even more shy! so i don't know what to do at all anymore!!!!!! Please help Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted March 16, 2001 Share Posted March 16, 2001 They'll be plenty of time for you to get over your shyness. Be patient with yourself. For now, I suggest you be professional in your karate class. You are there to learn karate and so is this girl. The is NOT there to make eyes or flirt with you. Pay attention to the instructor and do what he says. You will make a LOT more time with a 16-year-old under these particular circumstances if you stick to business than if you seem mushy and try to flirt. You will make many more points if you only respond to her flirtations occasionally. She will be loads more attracted to you if you seem aloof and somewhat disinterested. There's plenty of time for getting to know her better. Right now deal with the goals at hand. You will have a chance to get to talk to her, even with her father around. You can ask questions like where she goes to school, what she's planning on doing when she graduates, why she decided to take karate, if she's planning on taking advanced classes, etc. These are non threatening questions that show an interest in her. Your age difference may seem dramatic now but there are many men who end up marrying women 10 or 15 years younger so don't worry about that. As a matter of fact, when you are 100, she will be 96 while you are chasing the 40 year olds. Just give things time and if they were meant to be you'll get your chance with this girl. If you sit down and contemplate questions you can ask or write them down prior to seeing or calling a lady, this will help you deal with the nervousness and shyness. You may always be that way around ladies you really like. But don't worry...as you become more sure of yourself that will just about disappear. Now whip her butt at the next karate class! I'm not so sure there is great wisdom in seeking to date a lady who could deck you without notice. Link to post Share on other sites
X Posted March 16, 2001 Share Posted March 16, 2001 it's not that i not pay attention to the teacher it's just you know she's pretty and she 's got a great smile and i just like her! she's often only there on thursdays so i'm still going to learn something :-) and i do talk to her but i feel like i'm forcing it i can't seem to get anywhere with my talking but you're right i should relax more and just get to know her more ! but you don't seem to mind the age difference so it's o.k.? so when if when do i like aproach her for a date and how coz there's no time to talk during karate lessons only at the beginning of one and that's like 5 minutes or something! and then when times up it's like dress an get home for everyone so..... should i someday.... i ain't saying next lesson or whatever but like in a couple of months ask her for an email adress or something? anyways thanx for comforting me with the feeling that i ain't weird or late or something (when did you have your first girlfriend just asking...) Later X Link to post Share on other sites
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