applej4 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I know of someone (Caucasian) who has traveled a lot and ‘adopted’ a teen girl from Uganda. Not sure about the arrangement, but the girl still lives in Uganda. This woman and her husband have two other biological children. However, I notice she always refers to the girl as her Ugandan daughter. This kind of irks me, because I don’t see why it’s necessary to refer to the girl’s ethnicity. I suspect she thinks it make her appear to be noble and generous…..helping some poor underprivileged kid from Africa. Either she is her daughter or not – why specify ethnicity (unless someone asks)? Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I think it's like saying, "the red car" when you have a few. Probably just makes it easier to tell them all apart. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 I know in australia with indigenous people who are adopted into caucasian families that the culture must be recognised and celebrated and actually taught......they must be in touch with their roots...their heritage carried on...i was looking into adopting a boy who i felt had been abandoned.....i would have had to fight to adopt...as i am a single mother.....with five of my own to look after.....i however located his family and so he is now with people who love him..... as he should be..... so to me its not a sin nor is it a slight on her behalf to say my ugandan daughter if she is doing it for cultural or heritage reasons....and really why dont you just ask her why she says it...you might be surprised by her response....best wishes...deb... Link to post Share on other sites
Author applej4 Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 I think it's like saying, "the red car" when you have a few. Probably just makes it easier to tell them all apart. It's very easy to tell a Caucasion apart from a Ugandan. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 It's very easy to tell a Caucasion apart from a Ugandan. Huh? If I'm talking to my friend of my co worker about my kids, how else am I going to be clear? "My eldest", "My son" , "The redhead" "My Ugandan daughter"... all normal. Are you being a little too sensitive? I mean she can't be a jerk. She adopted the kid... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted June 6, 2015 Share Posted June 6, 2015 Huh? If I'm talking to my friend of my co worker about my kids, how else am I going to be clear? "My eldest", "My son" , "The redhead" "My Ugandan daughter"... all normal. Are you being a little too sensitive? I mean she can't be a jerk. She adopted the kid... i think the most important part that she does say is actually ....daughter.....deb 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author applej4 Posted June 6, 2015 Author Share Posted June 6, 2015 Huh? If I'm talking to my friend of my co worker about my kids, how else am I going to be clear? "My eldest", "My son" , "The redhead" "My Ugandan daughter"... all normal. Are you being a little too sensitive? I mean she can't be a jerk. She adopted the kid... Well, you could use the kid's NAME. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Well, you could use the kid's NAME. My mother told me she was irritated that her workmate called her child a "kid", that's a baby goat in her eyes! Link to post Share on other sites
Author applej4 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 My mother told me she was irritated that her workmate called her child a "kid", that's a baby goat in her eyes! Did they refer to skin color? That's what this thread is about. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Did they refer to skin color? That's what this thread is about. Oh excuse me! Here I was thinking it was about your irritation over the way someone refers to her child. Link to post Share on other sites
Author applej4 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 Oh excuse me! Here I was thinking it was about your irritation over the way someone refers to her child. Wakey, wakey. Earth to mrs rubble! 1. Read thread title 2. Read initial post Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Wakey, wakey. Earth to mrs rubble! 1. Read thread title 2. Read initial post I did. I especially noticed that you were "Irked" about the way the person you know refers to her child. Hence why I made the comment. I think the issue lies with you, it sounds to me like you don't want this person to be known as kind, generous or noble, which is why you're so peeved about it. Noone else who has posted in your thread so far has a problem with your aquaintance's (see I noticed you never called her a friend.) reference to her child. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author applej4 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 Mrs R YOU called her my friend - I didn't. Interesting how when a discussion turns racial people sidestep and start pulling things out of the air. Hmmm. Okey dokey. Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Mrs R YOU called her my friend - I didn't. Interesting how when a discussion turns racial people sidestep and start pulling things out of the air. Hmmm. Okey dokey. I'm not sure that your acquaintance saying "my Ugandan daughter" is about race though. If she adopted a child from Canada she would probably say "my Canadian daughter" which isn't a race at all, it's a citizenship. I don't know why your acquaintance says it. At worst, it may be a way to call attention to herself. Like "oh I have 3 children, 2 biological and then there's my Ugandan daughter". Whoever she is talking to is for sure going to ask her to elaborate on that sentence, so it gives her an opening to talk about herself. If she's talking to people who already knows she has an adopted daughter in Uganda, then I'm not sure the reason for that. Perhaps just to distinguish which child she is talking about as someone else suggested. Maybe she wouldn't do that if the child lived with her rather than in Uganda. I'm more curious as to how it is she adopted the girl and then left her in Uganda? I'll adopt 20 kids if I can just leave them where they are but brag to everyone else about my "adopted" children. Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 7, 2015 Share Posted June 7, 2015 Mrs R YOU called her my friend - I didn't. Interesting how when a discussion turns racial people sidestep and start pulling things out of the air. Hmmm. Okey dokey. I did not! Now I'm certain you have the problem! Link to post Share on other sites
Author applej4 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Share Posted June 7, 2015 I stand corrected; you didn't call her my friend. I think she has a very loose definition of the term "adopted" - it's most likely a situation where she and her husband visited Uganda (they travel extensively), she met the girl, developed a relationship with the family, communicates with them, and probably helps the girl out in various ways. That's great! But it's different from officially adopting a child, taking them into your home, providing food/clothing/shelter, medical/dental, education, guidance, and emotional support in a daily consistent basis. I know of several people who have children/stepchildren/relatives/friends of a different race than they themselves are, and they don't make a point of telling others. I had lunch last week with my Mexican friend, and I'll be seeing my Jewish doctor soon. My Black mechanic said my brakes need to be replaced. The White cashiers at the grocery store are very nice. I see no reason to tell others the ethnicity of my friend/doctor/mechanic/the cashiers. But, maybe some people feel that by not doing so *I* have a problem. So be it. (shrug) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I get what you are saying, but again I think that your acquaintance isn't saying "my Ugandan daughter" to identify her race so much as she's doing it to identify her as the daughter that lives far away. Like if she says "I spoke with my daughter for 2 hours on the phone last night, that call is going to cost me a fortune" people would think 'why is she talking to her daughter for 2 hours on the phone when she sees her at home and why is the call is so expensive? But if she says the same thing but says Ugandan daughter then the her sentence makes sense. If her adopted daughter lived with her then I would agree that saying "Ugandan daughter" would be very odd but in this case I think she does it just so people know she's talking about someone who lives in Uganda and not local. Link to post Share on other sites
Author applej4 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Btw I’m not sure the woman actually does anything for her “Ugandan daughter”. She said they correspond, but actual parenting involves a lot more than that. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Btw I’m not sure the woman actually does anything for her “Ugandan daughter”. She said they correspond, but actual parenting involves a lot more than that. I was thinking that this probably wasn't an "adoption" per se, but more of a sponsorship where some educational and maybe food/medical expenses are covered. I have a similar sort of deal for my Indian kid and my Ethiopian kid. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mrs rubble Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I was thinking that this probably wasn't an "adoption" per se, but more of a sponsorship where some educational and maybe food/medical expenses are covered. I have a similar sort of deal for my Indian kid and my Ethiopian kid. I have a "brother" in Vanuatu, (my Pacific Island brother??) my family has helped finance his training. Link to post Share on other sites
Author applej4 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Many of these posts are reaaalllyyy reaching, and indicative of the problems going on in the country these days re: race matters. Sidestep, make a joke, deny......sad, indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
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