OLD Photo trickery / heavyset women

[elaine567]

Says the woman who almost broke up with a guy because he had 'short arms'.

 

 

LOL! Almost being the word, you are never going to forget that, are you?.

[Emilia]

Yes, but men get away with "normal" pics of themselves, because there is not the pressure on men as there is on women, to look good.

Women almost from the day they are born are supposed to look pretty and the 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58, 68, 78, 88...yo version has follow that pattern too. Women who do not look pretty or make a damn good attempt at it, are looked down upon by men.

If she is not "pretty", she is worthless. If she is not wearing make up she is not looking after herself, if she has put on weight she is not going to please her man or any man, is the mantra.

Women can opt out of that "pretty" rat race but she is then denigrated as being a "feminist" or a "lesbo", or a loser, or a "fattie", or an ugly b*tch, or even being mentally ill.

Whatever the label, getting a decent man will not be considered a viable prospect.

 

That is why women who want to date usually have to conform, they have to take angled pics, wear make-up and make themselves more beautiful than they are, because they know what men and society will think of them if they don't.

I don't think this is fair or true. Guys lament here all the time that average looking men who aren't tall don't do well on OLD. I think looks matter to everyone.

 

I'm with Ninja, I never understood people that put up professional photos of themselves on OLD. How can you live up to in real life? It's best to have a relatively mediocre pic and exceed it in real life.

[bentleychic]

It's funny because I prefer curvy women. But "curvy" is a gamble with OLD because heavyset women in denial describe themselves that way online.

 

Also, I want to say for the record that hiking IS NOT REAL EXERCISE. Are you moving? Yes. Does it get your heart rate up a little? Sure. But it's mainly for the scenery. One common trend with all these "fit" women that I encounter is that their only form of exercise winds up being hiking.

 

So buzz words to watch out for "curvy" and "hiking".

lol I love to hike, but mine is definitely only for the scenery! However, I've been told by friends that I over exaggerate how big I am in my dating profiles, but that's partially b/c I have major body dysmorphic issues.. I also show several recent full body pictures so there's no mistaking what I look like head to toe.

 

I don't see why one would bother lying unless they never planned to meet to begin with.

 

I've seen guys post something like "Don't bother replying unless you look like your pictures. If we meet and you don't, beers are on you until you look like your pictures."

[JuneJulySeptember]

LOL! Almost being the word, you are never going to forget that, are you?.

 

I just think it's kind of funny, that's all. Just busting your chops.

 

It kind of surprises me that in this world where we all get rejected for being not good looking enough, and everybody feels the pressure of being so physically attractive like you suggest, the solution 99% of the time is to transfer that pressure to other people.

 

I'm not suggesting people go out with those they find disgusting, but I would think at least you give most people who are close to your ballpark a chance. I don't see that happening.

[jen1447]

I think people that are that worried about their appearance actually should have professional photos taken and use those - whether on dating sites or social media, whatever. Professional doesn't have to mean glamour, and it shouldn't for those uses, but a professional will know what makes you look your best without changing you or faking it.

 

(In cases where people have a professional online presence, I think this is critical. Can't tell you how many times I've cringed when friends or acquaintances point me to their new website - which is ostensibly supposed to be a revenue generating endeavor - and their "about me" pic is some random selfie or a grainy photo from a vacation in 2009.)

[J21]

Rule of thumb for OLD: if girls only post face shots, 99% of the time they're on the big side.

[aloneinaz]

Rule of thumb for OLD: if girls only post face shots, 99% of the time they're on the big side.

 

 

That may be a bit high though I'd be sure it's over 80% and the same can be said about men doing that as well. Why would guys post only pictures of themselves on a dating site wearing a hat in each picture? Why is it only the shorter guys that HAVE to post pictures of themselves with their shirts off?

 

 

I guess I'm mystified that people are so surprised that people are trying to hide their overweight bodies? Just look at the obesity in this country. I also find it interesting how many fairly overweight guys/gals list deal breakers in their profiles with , no smokers, drinkers, druggies, etc.. But I guess it's ok to be a food addict? lol It's ok to cope w/life's stresses with food w/the consequences of obesity killing you just as fast as cigarettes?

 

 

IDK, I wish more folks reported good success with OLD. I'm just an advocate of it as it's soo much better than going to bars or clubs.

[J21]

That may be a bit high though I'd be sure it's over 80% and the same can be said about men doing that as well. Why would guys post only pictures of themselves on a dating site wearing a hat in each picture? Why is it only the shorter guys that HAVE to post pictures of themselves with their shirts off?

 

 

I guess I'm mystified that people are so surprised that people are trying to hide their overweight bodies? Just look at the obesity in this country. I also find it interesting how many fairly overweight guys/gals list deal breakers in their profiles with , no smokers, drinkers, druggies, etc.. But I guess it's ok to be a food addict? lol It's ok to cope w/life's stresses with food w/the consequences of obesity killing you just as fast as cigarettes?

 

 

IDK, I wish more folks reported good success with OLD. I'm just an advocate of it as it's soo much better than going to bars or clubs.

 

I was kinda of exaggerating to prove a point in a humorous way. But yeah, it's more like 85% most of the time.

 

If they have 3 pics+ and they're all face shots with no arms, necks, or very small snippet of their body shot. then yeah I'd boost it up to about 99% she's on the heavy side.

 

http://i.imgur.com/5CGWGzl.jpg

[Ruby Slippers]

How many years are we talking when you discovered they lied about their age?

I've been out with guys who have subtracted anywhere from 4 to 13 years off their age. And added 1 to 6 inches to their height. 6 inches! lol And subtracted up to 50 pounds from their weight. Posted pictures of themselves from at least 10 years ago.

 

I didn't photoshop or distort my pictures, and I don't think it's a good idea. But I kind of get it. Every celeb/model photo that men see online, in mags, and on TV/movies has been heavily doctored, so I guess they figure that's the "competition" and they'd better play the game using the same weapons to compete. If you see a celeb in real life without the good lighting, angles, photoshop airbrushing, etc., most people would be taken aback by how imperfect and flawed they look, too.

[elaine567]

If you see a celeb in real life without the good lighting, angles, photoshop airbrushing, etc., most people would be taken aback by how imperfect and flawed they look, too.

 

Celebrities without retouching in real life (10 photos)

[Emilia]

I didn't photoshop or distort my pictures, and I don't think it's a good idea. But I kind of get it. Every celeb/model photo that men see online, in mags, and on TV/movies has been heavily doctored, so I guess they figure that's the "competition" and they'd better play the game using the same weapons to compete. If you see a celeb in real life without the good lighting, angles, photoshop airbrushing, etc., most people would be taken aback by how imperfect and flawed they look, too.

That's true about celebs but they do all those things to get publicity and thus make money. So they get something out of it. The rest of us only get rejection out of it when it's discovered. I can't see how that's worth it.

[Emilia]

IDK, I wish more folks reported good success with OLD. I'm just an advocate of it as it's soo much better than going to bars or clubs.

It's inferior to a wider social circle though. The best thing to have is social capital, OLD, bars, etc are only second best or third best options (depending on your skill level, your location,etc).

[Ruby Slippers]

That's true about celebs but they do all those things to get publicity and thus make money. So they get something out of it. The rest of us only get rejection out of it when it's discovered. I can't see how that's worth it.

I'm sure plenty of men and women on OLD are hard up enough to overlook the deception and move forward, anyway. If it didn't work at least some of the time, nobody would do it.

 

I've tried letting these "white lies" slide, but I just can't be at peace with that. Because someone who will lie about those things can lie about other things.

[preraph]

The biggest complaint you hear from men on OLD is meeting fat women. The biggest complaint you hear from women is meeting old guys who clearly used a much younger picture. Be aware that some of these clowns (and I'm speaking as a fat lady) actually believe they still look the same, while other are photoshoping their photos or intentionally doing it. A friend of mine went to meet a guy and he was a lot older and when she nailed him on it, he said he didn't think he looked that much different. I think a lot of guys really think they don't look that much older or think they don't act it or think it shouldn't matter to women. Just like women think being fat shouldn't make that much difference to men, and that's because they're looking for love, not just sex. They think if someone loves them for them, it shouldn't matter. Unfortunately, attraction is a prerequisite.

[JuneJulySeptember]

The biggest complaint you hear from men on OLD is meeting fat women. The biggest complaint you hear from women is meeting old guys who clearly used a much younger picture. Be aware that some of these clowns (and I'm speaking as a fat lady) actually believe they still look the same, while other are photoshoping their photos or intentionally doing it. A friend of mine went to meet a guy and he was a lot older and when she nailed him on it, he said he didn't think he looked that much different. I think a lot of guys really think they don't look that much older or think they don't act it or think it shouldn't matter to women. Just like women think being fat shouldn't make that much difference to men, and that's because they're looking for love, not just sex. They think if someone loves them for them, it shouldn't matter. Unfortunately, attraction is a prerequisite.

 

Uh.

 

Who gives a ****? You have the person's age.

 

You're saying there's a big difference if they are 40 years old and look 35 because they used an older picture or are 40 years old and look 45?

 

They're 40 years old. They're going to age anyway if you stay with them. Are we shopping for used cars?

Edited June 7, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[Emilia]

I'm sure plenty of men and women on OLD are hard up enough to overlook the deception and move forward, anyway. If it didn't work at least some of the time, nobody would do it.

 

I've tried letting these "white lies" slide, but I just can't be at peace with that. Because someone who will lie about those things can lie about other things.

 

A woman I used to work with used to lie about her age and put up doctored photos. We warned her it wasn't a good idea but she didn't listen. Some men walked out straight away, others had sex with her first then walked. She used to ask her own kids not to let on about her age, she said she hoped by the time the men found out her true age they would have fallen for her.... Of course that never worked. None of the good ones took it beyond the first date, only those did that didn't care.

[Emilia]

Uh.

 

Who gives a ****? You have the person's age.

 

You're saying there's a big difference if they are 40 years old and look 35 because they used an older picture or are 40 years old and look 45?

 

They're 40 years old. They're going to age anyway if you stay with them. Are we shopping for used cars?

 

In some cases there is s big difference. Smokers age badly. Also depending on how hormone changes hit someone's body, aging accelerates.

[newmoon]

both sexes lie. online and in-person. what can you do. focus on their written description, engage in a few conversations, and at least then you're only meeting with people you might get along with and aren't basing your meeting 100% on their (perhaps, misleading) photo. let the photo be a fraction of why you're meeting the person and not the entire reason.

[aloneinaz]

It's inferior to a wider social circle though. The best thing to have is social capital, OLD, bars, etc are only second best or third best options (depending on your skill level, your location,etc).

 

 

I couldn't agree more. But with everyone today being so transitory, often times they've just moved to a new area and haven't yet established a deep social circle.

 

 

People with large social networks seems to more the exception these days. So many people seem to be more anti-social than even 30 years ago. Everyone talks about this. 100 years ago, most homes in the USA had large FRONT porches. Why? Cause they all sat out there and socialized with their neighbors. There wasn't TV or computers or radios. Today in the USA? You "might" see your neighbor when they pull in or out of their garage and occasionally, even get a wave from them! lol

 

 

Computers are continuing this trend of people not having big social circles. Kids are not learning good interpersonal skills or face to face skills due to not being outside playing with other kids like the generation before them did.

 

 

It's really sad in many ways and I personally think it's a big contributor to why so many people become depressed and dis-satisfied in their lives.

[fitnessfan365]

It happened twice this month I was waiting for my date at our point of rendez-vous. Then the guy arrives and introduce himself and right away says he was there already waiting in his car, he just wanted to see me before coming out of his car. Maybe you should do this FF and just drive off if she's not to your liking lol

 

Hahahaha.. The old drive by tactic.

 

For the most part, I try to keep a good sense of humor about it. It just gets frustrating after it happens to you for the 20th consecutive time.

[aloneinaz]

Hahahaha.. The old drive by tactic.

 

For the most part, I try to keep a good sense of humor about it. It just gets frustrating after it happens to you for the 20th consecutive time.

 

 

 

Filter, filter, filter....!!!

[Emilia]

Hahahaha.. The old drive by tactic.

 

For the most part, I try to keep a good sense of humor about it. It just gets frustrating after it happens to you for the 20th consecutive time.

 

If I ever went on another OLD date it's exactly what I would do.

[fitnessfan365]

Filter, filter, filter....!!!

 

Haha.. I honestly try to man. But as I said before, the full body shots I do see look fine. Plus, my profile is very clear on my preferences, lifestyle, etc.. So I honestly don't get what these women are thinking when they contact me, and see the process through to meeting me in person.

 

Do they think I won't notice that they're at least 8-12 sizes bigger than they claimed to be?

[Ruby Slippers]

There was a guy with many photos who gave his age as 45. He said in his profile he looks like he's in his 30s. Ah, the power of denial. He looked solidly 40s, maybe even 50s. 99% of people who've fooled themselves into believing they look younger than they are do not. And I feel like these are the people who are most afraid of their own aging and that of others. Even worse than lying to other people is lying to yourself.

[fitnessfan365]

There was a guy with many photos who gave his age as 45. He said in his profile he looks like he's in his 30s. Ah, the power of denial. He looked solidly 40s, maybe even 50s. 99% of people who've fooled themselves into believing they look younger than they are do not. And I feel like these are the people who are most afraid of their own aging and that of others. Even worse than lying to other people is lying to yourself.

 

This is an awesome post! While there are some people online that intentionally lie, there are others who are in genuine self denial. They honestly believe what they are saying.

 

There was a woman I met online somewhat recently. Blast to talk to and good profile pics. Claimed to be into fitness and athletic. Then she sent a few "recent" pics to my phone. Anyone looking would not think she was heavyset. Now here's the kicker. She even initiated a few phone calls. I liked this originally because it's rare. However, I think she wanted to use her personality to soften me up a bit.

 

Since I genuinely enjoyed talking to her and liked her personality, I couldn't bring myself to walk out on her. So I stayed to chat for an hour. Personality wise, she was still the same cool person. However, she was just in complete self denial. We were sharing bad online dating stories and all of hers involved men that physically mis-represented themselves. So I say "Yeah it's like when a woman claims to be athletic with good photos and then winds up being huge". Her response "Exactly. Couldn't agree more".

Edited June 7, 2015 by fitnessfan365