Broke NC, Ex vanished, Still enjoying herself

[DexterLS]

Sounds good. Actually, from a legal perspective, 2-3 days does sound reasonable even though she has held onto the ring for a while. I wouldn't give it to her either though, she has been horrible to you and she doesn't deserve even a little bit of leniency!

 

Yeah. Around 5 hours until 15:00. So we will see what she does.

[DexterLS]

****ing hell. Got a call back from my attorney and he says there's no legal dispute or legal action we can take.

[DexterLS]

Ex sends me her photos during the trip she made and a lot of them included her boyfriend. I didn't ask for me. She said she did it out of revenge because I'm pissing her off.

 

I tried my best to maintain my composure and left the conversation. At this point, she has until tomorrow to ship it by Fedex.

 

The photos really affected me and I'm beginning to think it wasn't such a good idea to try and get the ring back.

[Morphine]

Wow. She is a cold bitch. One good thing out of this: you dodged the bullet.

[Ijustdon'tgetit]

Ex sends me her photos during the trip she made and a lot of them included her boyfriend. I didn't ask for me. She said she did it out of revenge because I'm pissing her off.

 

I tried my best to maintain my composure and left the conversation. At this point, she has until tomorrow to ship it by Fedex.

 

The photos really affected me and I'm beginning to think it wasn't such a good idea to try and get the ring back.

 

 

She's reacting extremely weird if you ask me. What right does she have to get upset or angry about someone else's property? She is extremely selfish and full of her self if she believes she has a right to keep something you gave to her with the condition of commitment. I think the reason she continues stalling and trying to get you to accept money is because she no longer has it. Whatever the reason, I don't see what reasons she has for being angry. It's your property and she has no right to keep it anymore.

[DexterLS]

I think she still has it though.

 

She says she will send it back but at her time convenience, which I really dislike. She's also taking the opportunity to rub a lot of things in my face.

 

Since I cannot block her because she is supposed to send me the tracking number tomorrow, she is sending me the pictures of her and her new boyfriend as well (as revenge). She also took the opportunity to inform me of her upcoming trip in the second week of August, again with the other guy. She also told me that I am "proud mother****er" for not wishing her on her birthday.

 

mightycpa, where are you?!

Edited July 21, 2015 by DexterLS

[mightycpa]

****ing hell. Got a call back from my attorney and he says there's no legal dispute or legal action we can take.

That doesn't sound right at all. Here's a link to the Civil Code in the UAE.

 

Civil code of UAE

 

I'm no lawyer, certainly not one versed in Islamic style law, but unlike Western law, where the agreement itself can override principles such as fairness, good faith, intent, etc., there is an overarching current of commitment to good faith, public order, custom, tradition and justice in the Civil Code. Hell, there's even a set of Articles about Harm. Certainly, you've been harmed, and it seems inconceivable that this breach of promise is not covered under the Civil Code or Sharia.

 

And I'm not sure where you live or where the promise was made, but there are also provisions about the applicability of foreign law as long as it doesn't conflict with the principles of UAE law.

 

For example, and this is just one example of many, here's what is said about a gift:

Article 614
(2) It shall be permissible for the donor, while still intending to make  a gift, to make it a condition that the donee should perform a  specified obligation, and such obligation shall be regarded as  consideration.

Article 647
The following shall be regarded as acceptable causes for the cancellation and revocation of a gift:
(c) an unjustified breach by the donee of his obligations as stipulated  in the contract, or a breach by him of his obligations towards the donor  or one of his relatives, in the event that such breach is a gross  dereliction on his part.

Read through the code. It is nowhere nearly as complex as, say, US law. It is a code based in principle. I can't imagine that this is not covered somehow, some way. Further, lawyers bluff all the time. Even if there was no law on your side, a lawyer can threaten effectively, even if the threat is empty. For a lawyer to tell you there's nothing you can do?

 

I'm not buying it. Either you somehow found the worst lawyer on the planet, or they misunderstood you or they don't want to handle it or something else, but it doesn't add up.

 

Ask a lawyer in the UAE

[pillowpuffs]

Oh God.. its really strange how a breakup can bring out such an ugly side of a person isn't it? Especially someone you used to love and care for so much. Sorry DexterLS! She sounds like she wants to have her cake and eat it too but unfortunately life isn't like that. Do not listen to her one bit and if she wants to be a b*tch, that's on her... so weird, for someone who says she doesn't want negativity in her life, yet she's choosing to be so negative and off-putting?

[mightycpa]

Posted something, but it is under review, for links, I guess

 

That doesn't sound right at all. Here's a link to the Civil Code in the UAE.

 

google this: UAE Civil Code

 

 

I'm no lawyer, certainly not one versed in Islamic based law, but unlike Western law, where the agreement itself can override principles such as fairness, good faith, intent, etc., there is an overarching current of commitment to good faith, public order, custom, tradition and justice in the Civil Code. Hell, there's even a set of Articles about Harm. Certainly, you've been harmed, and it seems inconceivable that this breach of promise is not covered under the Civil Code or Sharia.

 

And I'm not sure where you live or where the promise was made, but there are also provisions about the applicability of foreign law as long as it doesn't conflict with the principles of UAE law.

 

As an example, and this is just one example of many, here's what is said about a gift:

Article 614
(2) It shall be permissible for the donor, while still intending to make  a gift, to make it a condition that the donee should perform a  specified obligation, and such obligation shall be regarded as  consideration.

Article 647
The following shall be regarded as acceptable causes for the cancellation and revocation of a gift:
(c) an unjustified breach by the donee of his obligations as stipulated  in the contract, or a breach by him of his obligations towards the donor  or one of his relatives, in the event that such breach is a gross  dereliction on his part.

 

This is basic justice. Here's something for you if you do X and if you don't, you give it back. That's normal all over the world, and codified in UAE.

 

Read through the code. It is nowhere nearly as complex as, say, US law. It is a code based in principle, and there are dozens of places that fit your circumstances. I can't imagine that this is not covered somehow, some way. Further, lawyers bluff all the time. Even if there was no law on your side, a lawyer can threaten effectively, even if the threat is empty. For a lawyer to tell you there's nothing you can do?

 

I'm not buying it. Either you somehow found the worst lawyer on the planet, or they misunderstood you or they don't want to handle it or something else, but "there's nothing you can do" doesn't add up.

 

google this: Khairallah Advocates help desk submit a ticket

[DexterLS]

Posted something, but it is under review, for links, I guess

 

That doesn't sound right at all. Here's a link to the Civil Code in the UAE.

 

google this: UAE Civil Code

 

 

I'm no lawyer, certainly not one versed in Islamic based law, but unlike Western law, where the agreement itself can override principles such as fairness, good faith, intent, etc., there is an overarching current of commitment to good faith, public order, custom, tradition and justice in the Civil Code. Hell, there's even a set of Articles about Harm. Certainly, you've been harmed, and it seems inconceivable that this breach of promise is not covered under the Civil Code or Sharia.

 

And I'm not sure where you live or where the promise was made, but there are also provisions about the applicability of foreign law as long as it doesn't conflict with the principles of UAE law.

 

As an example, and this is just one example of many, here's what is said about a gift:

Article 614
(2) It shall be permissible for the donor, while still intending to make  a gift, to make it a condition that the donee should perform a  specified obligation, and such obligation shall be regarded as  consideration.

Article 647
The following shall be regarded as acceptable causes for the cancellation and revocation of a gift:
(c) an unjustified breach by the donee of his obligations as stipulated  in the contract, or a breach by him of his obligations towards the donor  or one of his relatives, in the event that such breach is a gross  dereliction on his part.

 

This is basic justice. Here's something for you if you do X and if you don't, you give it back. That's normal all over the world, and codified in UAE.

 

Read through the code. It is nowhere nearly as complex as, say, US law. It is a code based in principle, and there are dozens of places that fit your circumstances. I can't imagine that this is not covered somehow, some way. Further, lawyers bluff all the time. Even if there was no law on your side, a lawyer can threaten effectively, even if the threat is empty. For a lawyer to tell you there's nothing you can do?

 

I'm not buying it. Either you somehow found the worst lawyer on the planet, or they misunderstood you or they don't want to handle it or something else, but "there's nothing you can do" doesn't add up.

 

google this: Khairallah Advocates help desk submit a ticket

 

She got back to me actually and told me she can do it on the basis that I have two person who can testify that the ring was given for marriage purposes. This is taken care of.

 

However, my ex couldn't care less to ship it. She is telling me she will send it back with someone around the second week of August. Should I wait it out or insist on getting it shipped to me?

[DexterLS]

Update

 

Finally, my attorney got in touch with the legal dept. of Emirates regarding the ring issue. I also told my attorney to let them know a few more things about her work behaviour. Dick move, but I couldn't help myself after she intentionally sent me pictures with her new boyfriend.

 

Result: She was called upon the board for 'review'. My ex's sister called me and told me that she didn't expect this from me. My ex went radio silent, ignored all my messages/threats and blocked me everywhere.

 

My ex's sister also mentioned to me about the possibility of her losing the job. This is a bit far-fetched but I hope it's true.

 

Oh and regarding the ring, her sister is going to bring it back for me. Apparently she is flying there as my ex is depressed about this whole situation and not feeling too well.

[DexterLS]

Another update

 

Ex spoke to a mutual friend and told her to not tell me anything. She told her about what I did to get in touch with her company.

 

She said, the company is trying to protect her from me by telling her to cease all contact with me. That, the company won't fire her etc.

 

I don't know what to think now. I am hoping to get the ring back from her sister next week. So I'll just wait it out.

 

Thanks.

[mightycpa]

Another update

 

Ex spoke to a mutual friend and told her to not tell me anything. She told her about what I did to get in touch with her company.

 

She said, the company is trying to protect her from me by telling her to cease all contact with me. That, the company won't fire her etc.

 

I don't know what to think now. I am hoping to get the ring back from her sister next week. So I'll just wait it out.

 

Thanks.

You can bet that the company is also telling her to do the right thing, give back the ring right away, and don't put us in the middle of this again.

[pillowpuffs]

You will get your ring back for sure now. Also, about the company protecting her - you don't know if it's for sure, yes they could be protecting her from you in some sense but I'm sure they've noted down what you've said and will watch out for that behaviour too. Plus, like what the above poster said, they will not want to be in the middle of such a situation again with her. She might have to be extra careful now with her job?

[DexterLS]

More updates

 

Ex has blocked me everywhere and told my mutual friend that she does not wish to hear from me again. She will get the ring to me sometime soon but she won't speak to me ever again.

 

To her, I am a disturbed person and dead to her. She also mentioned that she is incredibly lucky to have found someone who loves her so much and she told my friend that she doesn't believe that I would have done such a thing if I truly loved her.

 

I am happy that I am getting the ring back but I am sad because I wanted her to realise her mistake at some point and try to talk to me. At this point, she knows I am just a nut case that tried to make her lose her job. Sure, I can now expect that she won't contact me again but part of me wished she realises her mistake and contacts me in the future.

 

I don't want to reconcile with her but I just wanted her to realise it. I know that won't happen now..

[mightycpa]

More updates

 

Ex has blocked me everywhere and told my mutual friend that she does not wish to hear from me again. She will get the ring to me sometime soon but she won't speak to me ever again.

 

To her, I am a disturbed person and dead to her. She also mentioned that she is incredibly lucky to have found someone who loves her so much and she told my friend that she doesn't believe that I would have done such a thing if I truly loved her.

 

I am happy that I am getting the ring back but I am sad because I wanted her to realise her mistake at some point and try to talk to me. At this point, she knows I am just a nut case that tried to make her lose her job. Sure, I can now expect that she won't contact me again but part of me wished she realises her mistake and contacts me in the future.

 

I don't want to reconcile with her but I just wanted her to realise it. I know that won't happen now..

I think that she wouldn't have done these things to you if she truly loved you. I also think that she is left with the impression that you're no longer a doormat, and that if she can't wipe her feet on you, then you are of no use to her.

 

Given that, the worst thing she could think is that she made a mistake. She's not looking for a partner, Dexter. She's looking for a subject, a serf that she can lord it over. She doesn't think you're a nutjob. She thinks that you care about Dexter more than you care about her. That's what makes her angry and pouty. She can't stand the idea that maybe she's somebody that you can actually get over and feel nothing for. She wants you to idolize her forever, but she doesn't want to idolize you. Your power play told her that you don't put her first anymore. She hates you for that. That's such a good thing. She needs more people like that in her life.

 

So, forget what she needs to realize. She's never going to realize any of that ****. She's not built that way. She's the center of her own little universe, and what you want is for her to be different. You can't change her, no matter what you do. Only she can change her, and she doesn't seem to be inclined to do so.

 

You need to do some realizing of your own. First, that's who she is. Second, she's never going to change. Third, between you and Mr. Wonderful, you got the far, far, far better end of the deal.

 

Tell your mutual friend that you don't want to hear about her ever again. Then you can only hope that you never do.

[DexterLS]

I think that she wouldn't have done these things to you if she truly loved you. I also think that she is left with the impression that you're no longer a doormat, and that if she can't wipe her feet on you, then you are of no use to her.

 

Given that, the worst thing she could think is that she made a mistake. She's not looking for a partner, Dexter. She's looking for a subject, a serf that she can lord it over. She doesn't think you're a nutjob. She thinks that you care about Dexter more than you care about her. That's what makes her angry and pouty. She can't stand the idea that maybe she's somebody that you can actually get over and feel nothing for. She wants you to idolize her forever, but she doesn't want to idolize you. Your power play told her that you don't put her first anymore. She hates you for that. That's such a good thing. She needs more people like that in her life.

 

So, forget what she needs to realize. She's never going to realize any of that ****. She's not built that way. She's the center of her own little universe, and what you want is for her to be different. You can't change her, no matter what you do. Only she can change her, and she doesn't seem to be inclined to do so.

 

You need to do some realizing of your own. First, that's who she is. Second, she's never going to change. Third, between you and Mr. Wonderful, you got the far, far, far better end of the deal.

 

Tell your mutual friend that you don't want to hear about her ever again. Then you can only hope that you never do.

 

You are absolutely spot on.

 

I already told my friends that and they are going to, hopefully, respect that. Time to initiate strict NC and forget about her for the rest of my life.

 

I will keep you guys updated with my progress and should anything happen, although this is looking increasingly unlikely.

 

Thank you.

[DexterLS]

Oh and I forgot to mention:

 

Ex's sister also talked to me saying that she didn't expect this from me and that my ex is very stressed right now. Her sister is going to jump on a plane and go see her during the weekend too, I think.

 

All the while she was talking to me, she dropped several hints that the other guy loves her very much and that they are more than a boyfriend-girlfriend thing right now. She even mentioned that the other guy's mom loves my ex and sent gifts for her.

 

I told her, I don't want to know about her sister and to pass on the message that the next time, she intentionally sends me something (pictures, sms, emails) etc, she is going to spend some time in jail. I read all about the law in UAE and I have all the evidence I can to have her locked up lol.

 

She was surprised that I became this person, but I told her it was all thanks to her bitch sister. Since the sister is the one that's going to give me back the ring, I told her to contact me only when she has the ring with her and then I'll tell my friend to get in touch with her to pick it up.

 

I also told her to stay away from me and that I have no intention in talking to her or anyone in their family. I left then..

[Simon Phoenix]

More updates

 

Ex has blocked me everywhere and told my mutual friend that she does not wish to hear from me again. She will get the ring to me sometime soon but she won't speak to me ever again.

 

To her, I am a disturbed person and dead to her. She also mentioned that she is incredibly lucky to have found someone who loves her so much and she told my friend that she doesn't believe that I would have done such a thing if I truly loved her.

 

I am happy that I am getting the ring back but I am sad because I wanted her to realise her mistake at some point and try to talk to me. At this point, she knows I am just a nut case that tried to make her lose her job. Sure, I can now expect that she won't contact me again but part of me wished she realises her mistake and contacts me in the future.

 

I don't want to reconcile with her but I just wanted her to realise it. I know that won't happen now..

 

This is all good stuff. Your ex has been harassing you and dragging you through the mud. You finally showed some backbone and now she's pouting and taking her ball and going home. You were never going to get her to admit her mistake because she's a sociopath.

 

You are getting your ring back and she's going to stop throwing her new relationship in your face. That's about as win-win as it gets.

[DexterLS]

This is all good stuff. Your ex has been harassing you and dragging you through the mud. You finally showed some backbone and now she's pouting and taking her ball and going home. You were never going to get her to admit her mistake because she's a sociopath.

 

You are getting your ring back and she's going to stop throwing her new relationship in your face. That's about as win-win as it gets.

 

Thanks. You're right. I am looking forward to healing without her stringing me along every step of the way.

 

More updates

 

Her little sister came and talk to me now saying how my actions are going to affect her family. The company she worked for has put her under review and they are "scared" apparently.

 

I don't know why she came and talk to me. Certainly, she didn't feel the need to do that before her sister got into trouble. Now all of a sudden, I am making them "suffer".

 

I suffered for months because of her bitch sister and she made sure I suffered every step of the way and I let them exactly what I think about them. Bunch of hypocrites...

[mightycpa]

Thanks. You're right. I am looking forward to healing without her stringing me along every step of the way.

 

More updates

 

Her little sister came and talk to me now saying how my actions are going to affect her family. The company she worked for has put her under review and they are "scared" apparently.

 

I don't know why she came and talk to me. Certainly, she didn't feel the need to do that before her sister got into trouble. Now all of a sudden, I am making them "suffer".

 

I suffered for months because of her bitch sister and she made sure I suffered every step of the way and I let them exactly what I think about them. Bunch of hypocrites...

Maybe, just maybe she'll learn about a little thing called humility from this whole ordeal, and one day she'll look back at who really changed her life for the better.

 

Or maybe, just maybe, she'll be a spiteful bitch who will hate the mere mention of your name for the rest of her life.

 

Either way, it would be best if you never find out.

 

Call that little sister up and tell her that the quicker the ring gets put in your hand, the quicker the pressure dies down, and that the next time you want to hear from her is when that ring is in the hands of an overnight delivery service. Maybe even suggest that the family take up a collection amongst themselves to pay for the freight.

[Simon Phoenix]

Thanks. You're right. I am looking forward to healing without her stringing me along every step of the way.

 

More updates

 

Her little sister came and talk to me now saying how my actions are going to affect her family. The company she worked for has put her under review and they are "scared" apparently.

 

I don't know why she came and talk to me. Certainly, she didn't feel the need to do that before her sister got into trouble. Now all of a sudden, I am making them "suffer".

 

I suffered for months because of her bitch sister and she made sure I suffered every step of the way and I let them exactly what I think about them. Bunch of hypocrites...

 

I'd stop having these conversations with them, but if you do, just say that everything that's happening is based specifically on your ex's poor choices. You don't get to cheat on someone, throw it in their face, and hold someone else's property hostage, then get to play the "poor me" card. Had your ex broken up with you with dignity and gave you back your ring when she was supposed to none of this would have happened.

[mightycpa]

I'd stop having these conversations with them, but if you do, just say that everything that's happening is based specifically on your ex's poor choices. You don't get to cheat on someone, throw it in their face, and hold someone else's property hostage, then get to play the "poor me" card. Had your ex broken up with you with dignity and gave you back your ring when she was supposed to none of this would have happened.

As if this wasn't obvious. Something tells me the whole family doesn't get it.

[DexterLS]

As if this wasn't obvious. Something tells me the whole family doesn't get it.

 

They probably don't. The little one called me vile for behaving this way and says I have changed a lot since the last time she talked to me (3 months ago).

 

Anyway, moving on.

[mightycpa]

They probably don't. The little one called me vile for behaving this way and says I have changed a lot since the last time she talked to me (3 months ago).

 

Anyway, moving on.

You've changed a lot since I started talking to you too. I like the new Dexter better.