Ckme 'Lowodee Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I've been in my first relationship, serious or otherwise, for two years with a brilliant wonderful girl. We get along really well, like most of the same stuff and our personalities complement eachother really well. However a few months ago I started loosing interest in her. I started off being interested in other girls, I never did anything but I thought about it quite often. I tried brushing it off and told myself I was just curious, having only ever been with one girl. Then I stopped feeling attracted to her. I made excuses when she tried to kiss me. There would be times when I was into her and we'd still make out and have sex during those times but most of the time I couldn't bring myself to pretend. After trying to wrap my head around it for weeks I concluded I must no longer be attracted to her and broke up with her yesterday. We agreed that we wanted to be friends and though we were both upset we're still talking to eachother. The problem is today I was talking to her on the phone and we were getting along really well and I was really happy and wanted to be with her again. We talked about this and decided to have a weeks break before making a final decision, though I felt pretty sure I wanted to get back with her. We talked on webcam this evening however and I suddenly found myself not interested in her again. I didn't tell her for fear of upsetting her and ruining my chances with her for good but now I'm really confused, I still like her as a friend but do I love her or not? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kevin_D Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 You sound very young. To be honest, I think you're going to be unhappy with your decision either way. My advice in this case (and I rarely say this) is to break up. You clearly don't know what you want. Again, you seem very young, so this relationship will probably not last forever anyway. Since you alreade broke up with her once, the damage is already done. Maybe your paths cross in the future, who knows? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ckme 'Lowodee Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 Extra notes: (Warning, may be less romancy and more psycho-analyst) 1) I've been struggling with a mental block for years and she's helping me get past it. Recently we made some good progress but I'm worried I subconsciously don't want to get rid of my block and my head has created this as an excuse to get away. 2) She has been very busy on a college course this past year, much of our time together has been her working and me sitting around doing my own thing. We'd watch TV and play video games and stuff but apart from that we wouldn't do much together. Thinking maybe i've come to associate her with being bored and that's why I'm not interested. 3) I'm terrible at social situations and had almost no friends until I met her. I'm worried that if I lose her I'll go back to being alone and won't be able to make any friends/meet someone new. Could this be why I want to stay with her. 4) There's another girl that I've been feeling attracted to recently, both emotionally and physically. She's recently gone away for a few months and my interest in my ex slowly waned as the date got closer. I don't want to leave her over a petty crush so how can I tell if this is the problem? There, sorry for the wall but as I said I don't have many friends and there's no-one I can really turn to for advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ckme 'Lowodee Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 You sound very young. I'm 21, is that young? Link to post Share on other sites
coryreply Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Sometimes you really don't know how you feel about someone util you break up with them. Link to post Share on other sites
aboucher21 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 I going through pretty much the same exact thing. I am in college as well. I had a great girl and then I began to lose attraction and interest in her for several weeks. I was hoping it was a phase but it persisted and I decided the right thing to do was break up. We were each others first serious relationships. We maintained contact after the breakup and she wanted to get back together but I couldn't do it because I didn't know why I was feeling the way I was. Then a few weeks later she began to move on and I wanted her back BADLY but she said we cant be together because she was moving on. She really wants to be friends like your situation as well. We broke up 2.5 months ago and I still constantly think about her. 3 weeks ago I told her we cant talk anymore so I can move on to possibly explore a friendship so we have been NC for three weeks except for a text she sent me just making sure I was doing okay. I just don't know what to do now. Link to post Share on other sites
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