sunlover82 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 My ex boyfriend and I work together. We've been apart for about a year and up until recently has he cut me out of his life. When we first broke up we were still in contact and we're great friends. He knew how I felt and would tell me he missed me and loved me. I made the mistake of asking for a sec d chance and then he went into the 1 minute I want to he with you and minute I dont. Well I went into panic mode and cried and tried to logically tell him how great we were together. We then had a huge argument and he said I annoyed him with always talking about our relationship but then he got upset. We now hardly speak and only speak at work, I asked him if he is ok and he just replied that he "is fine. " He also ignores the fact i told him i want closure because he knows how I care. I sense he still cares about me but I told him it was his decision to live without me. I really want him back because I do love and care about him, but is it too late? Link to post Share on other sites
loveiswar101 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I really want him back because I do love and care about him, but is it too late? Its never to late. But at this point many will say walk away, NC. Leave him be ! It's will be the hardest thing you probably ever do, many on here will back me up. Basically do not talk to him unless it's regards to work. Not betting, but he'll soon get the picture whats going on and then up to him how he acts and then how you act back. Look after no 1 here, YOU. Only YOU matter at the moment not him, not the relationship. Just YOU. It will be hard at first but come back here if need help. There are great people here who will give you advice and encouragement. Hope helps and again only YOU matter at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunlover82 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 That's exactly what I am trying to do but it is hard. He seems to be ok but I sense he is hurting too. But this has been back and forth for so long that I don't want to feel hurt anymore. I don't contact him other than work and I either want the closure or him to stop the game of ignoring how or what is going on in his head. It isn't fair to him or me. Why would he just ignore me when I try to close the book and move forward? He won't say he misses me or he wants me out of his life. Just ignore ignore ignore. Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 The closure really needs to come from you. He's made it clear that the relationship is over. There's no reason for him to talk to you anymore. Telling you he misses you would only give you false hope. He doesn't need to flat out say he wants you out of his life, because that would be rude and hurtful. By being polite when he has to see you, but otherwise ignoring you, he's doing the most appropriate thing for the situation. He's trying to set up a cordial work environment, without giving you false hope for a reconciliation. You're the one that keeps projecting onto his feelings. You want to believe that there is maybe something there. If he wanted to get back together, he would come straight up to you and say exactly that. Anything else means that the relationship is done. It doesn't matter what he is or isn't feeling. I don't know your work situation, but if it's possible you might want to change jobs, buildings, or your department. Maybe you could talk to human resources about being moved somewhere that you don't have to see him. If the job is not one that would be difficult to replace, you might even want to looking at getting a new one. Having to work with him seems to be holding you back from moving on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunlover82 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 He hasn't stopped before by toying w my emotions so why wouldn't he just tell me knowing I would be upset. He has been wishy washy and i just want him to come clean. He won't throw away our momentos but decided to keep them. Link to post Share on other sites
devilish innocent Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 If he knew you were the one he wanted, he wouldn't be wishy-washy for so long. You deserve somebody who he is confident about trying to make things work with you. He's not, so he's not worth your time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunlover82 Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 That's exactly what I think and have said to him. He will face the music one day and realize how good I was to him. It's his loss now. Time to start worrying about me. Not sure what or how to start but I'm going to try. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sunlover82 Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 Told the ex that I am done trying and I'm done with his back and forth. As hard as it was he said "I don't know that the future holds," but said he wants me to move on which doesn't make sense. I told him that he could have done this a long time ago and he just sat there. I feel hopeless but strong I confronted him. He doesn't have power over me and I told him goodbye. This sucks but I'm tired of being heartbroken 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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