Ex is encouraging my daughter to call another man "Daddy."

[Keenly]

My daughter is 2. Her and I have a great relationship and we have a lot of fun together.

 

My ex encourages her to call her boyfriend daddy, and doesn't seem to understand nor care when I call her on this mockery.

 

I told her it's confusing to our daughter and completely disrespectful but she seems to think there is nothing wrong with it.

 

 

I'm FURIOUS right now.

[Mrin]

Dude I would be apoplectic!!! Like frothing at the mouth insanely furious.

[Haydn]

This can be tricky. I was in the same boat long ago. My daughter did call another bloke daddy when she was very young when her mother met someone else, actually a nice bloke we get along well.

 

But after a short time she started to call him by his first name cos she realised she just had one Dad.

 

However she also called my GF Mummy on a few occasions so it works both ways.

 

Her mother though never encouraged her to call another bloke daddy. If she had then i too would be totally livid.

 

I never knew you had a daughter Keenly, she looks well sweet mate.

 

Hope you can solve this.

[JFReyes]

My daughter is 2. Her and I have a great relationship and we have a lot of fun together.

 

My ex encourages her to call her boyfriend daddy, and doesn't seem to understand nor care when I call her on this mockery.

 

I told her it's confusing to our daughter and completely disrespectful but she seems to think there is nothing wrong with it.

 

 

I'm FURIOUS right now.

 

My children's mother tried the same when they were little. She was ultimately unsuccessful because I never, ever, disappeared from their lives even though they lived thousands of miles away. Weekly phone calls plus summer and Christmas vacations together kept our relationship intact. Keep calm and develop a plan. I wish you success.

[autumnnight]

My daughter is 2. Her and I have a great relationship and we have a lot of fun together.

 

My ex encourages her to call her boyfriend daddy, and doesn't seem to understand nor care when I call her on this mockery.

 

I told her it's confusing to our daughter and completely disrespectful but she seems to think there is nothing wrong with it.

 

 

I'm FURIOUS right now.

 

I'd be furious too. First of all, YOU are her daddy. Second of all, this is a boyfriend, not even a husband. What about when they break up? Will EVERY new boyfriend be daddy? Poor kid.

[d0nnivain]

You need to keep hammering home that it confuses the kid. Throw in one olive branch that when your EX marries somebody then your daughter can come up with a fatherly name for the guy but not before a wedding.

[PrettyEmily77]

You have every right to be furious.

 

 

You might want to take legal advice on this, if you feel that strongly about it and if you feel this is may have an effect on your relationship with your daughter. I may be wrong but I've heard that it is possible to challenge this in a court of law in the USA.

[whichwayisup]

My daughter is 2. Her and I have a great relationship and we have a lot of fun together.

 

My ex encourages her to call her boyfriend daddy, and doesn't seem to understand nor care when I call her on this mockery.

 

I told her it's confusing to our daughter and completely disrespectful but she seems to think there is nothing wrong with it.

 

 

I'm FURIOUS right now.

 

As you should be. The 'step' father IS the step father, NOT 'daddy' to your child. SHAME on your ex for encouraging this!! You are the daddy. Ex should tell her your daughter to call him by his name.

[Keenly]

I'm sitting her down with two pictures and clarifying to my daughter who daddy is, and who mommies boyfriend is.

[Got it]

Do you have anything in your divorce papers about this? Some people write this in specifically to cover it.

 

Outside of that you can speak with an attorney about recommendations on how to handle.

 

And then talk to your child about how there is only one daddy, that is you. He can be something else.

 

I am so sorry your ex is doing that, that is awful.

[WasOtherWoman]

This is truly sad. Why on earth would she be suggesting that a temporary boyfriend be called anything other than his name? If they marry, they can find an appropriate title for him.

 

Are you absolutely positive that your ex is encouraging this?

[Timshel]

My daughter is 2. Her and I have a great relationship and we have a lot of fun together.

 

My ex encourages her to call her boyfriend daddy, and doesn't seem to understand nor care when I call her on this mockery.

 

I told her it's confusing to our daughter and completely disrespectful but she seems to think there is nothing wrong with it.

 

 

I'm FURIOUS right now.

 

I divorced and remarried, never in a million years would I suggest or think doing this was ok. Kids have one Dad.

Not acceptable. I hope you are able to have a conversation with your ex and establish ground rules about this. Shame....she should not have to be told.

[Keenly]

We were not married.

 

I called her on it as I found this out via Facebook. Through a post where she talks about how" she doesn't day mommy and daddy, she says krystal and Jon " to which I said " she shouldn't be calling jon daddy as he is not her father, I am.

 

After a few back and forths she deleted the post ( I'm betting because she realized even her own friends would not take her side)

 

Then it went to texting where she was telling me that it was selfish of me to demand that she stop our daughter from doing this, and that she had a right to do it. I told.her I will correct the record the next time.I see her. To which she threatened to somehow revoke my time with her ( it's not court ordered, but I can make it so)

 

She thinks she is entitled to do this, she doesn't see how it's confusing. She feels that he is entitled to be called today because they have been together longer than daughter has been alive.

[SammySammy]

My daughter is 2. Her and I have a great relationship and we have a lot of fun together.

 

My ex encourages her to call her boyfriend daddy, and doesn't seem to understand nor care when I call her on this mockery.

 

I told her it's confusing to our daughter and completely disrespectful but she seems to think there is nothing wrong with it.

 

 

I'm FURIOUS right now.

 

My ex-wife did the same thing. We divorced when my daughter was 2 1/2 years old.

 

She worked hard to separate me from my daughter. She did nearly everything she could to destroy our relationship.

 

I just stayed consistent. I didn't even fight her about trying to make my daughter call the other man daddy though I was INCENSED. I wanted to minimize the drama between me and my ex-wife because I knew she would use anything to separate me from my child.

 

I just kept BEING daddy. I have worked very hard on being the best father I can be and having the best relationship that I can with my daughter.

 

My daughter is now 21 years old. One course away from being a college graduate. And she has no doubt who is her real daddy and who is her step-daddy. Whenever something happens in her life - good or bad - she calls me first. Not her mom. Not her step-father.

 

My ex-wife totally failed at destroying our relationship. I think the bond between my daughter and I is stronger because of all the crap my ex-wife put both of us through.

[Keenly]

In short, she is 100% unreasonable.

 

I flipped it on her and asked how she'd feel if I said new girlfriend was mommy now. She said that it didn't apply to this situation ( I know her, she is very jealous and would.flip out. But it's okay for her to do it, just not me.

[WasOtherWoman]

Yes, she certainly is being ridiculous.

 

But (and I don't have kids, only steps) but, saying this gently, while you absolutely want and need to set the record straight with your daughter, for sure, since she's still really young, maybe just make sure you don't make her feel like she is doing something wrong? . She doesn't really know any better, I would think.

[SammySammy]

In short, she is 100% unreasonable.

 

I flipped it on her and asked how she'd feel if I said new girlfriend was mommy now. She said that it didn't apply to this situation ( I know her, she is very jealous and would.flip out. But it's okay for her to do it, just not me.

 

My ex-wife is still unreasonable and irrational. She is still trying to come between my daughter and I after nearly 20 years.

 

My daughter already has a good job. Has her own apartment. She is totally independent from her mother, yet her mother is still being an azz.

 

That's why it's important for you to stay calm. Your daughter will soon be able to figure it out for herself. You have to be the calm, reasonable, rational and responsible one. The one who communicates the best. The one who is consistently there for your daughter. Then let your daughter make her own decision.

 

BE the daddy. Own it with every fiber of your being.

 

The only way for you to lose this is if you let this drama affect your relationship with your daughter and diminish it in any way.

 

Hang in there, brother.

[whichwayisup]

We were not married.

 

I called her on it as I found this out via Facebook. Through a post where she talks about how" she doesn't day mommy and daddy, she says krystal and Jon " to which I said " she shouldn't be calling jon daddy as he is not her father, I am.

 

After a few back and forths she deleted the post ( I'm betting because she realized even her own friends would not take her side)

 

Then it went to texting where she was telling me that it was selfish of me to demand that she stop our daughter from doing this, and that she had a right to do it. I told.her I will correct the record the next time.I see her. To which she threatened to somehow revoke my time with her ( it's not court ordered, but I can make it so)

 

She thinks she is entitled to do this, she doesn't see how it's confusing. She feels that he is entitled to be called today because they have been together longer than daughter has been alive.

 

This guy is NOT flesh and blood, he is STEP FATHER. What part of that does she not understand? She's the one being selfish here and not seeing how confusing and upsetting this is and the effect it's going to have on your young daughter.

 

If need be, (if she threatens you again about limiting your time with your daughter) take her to court. She has no right and no control over how much you see your daughter, especially for the above reason. It's petty and childish!

[Keenly]

This guy is NOT flesh and blood, he is STEP FATHER. What part of that does she not understand? She's the one being selfish here and not seeing how confusing and upsetting this is and the effect it's going to have on your young daughter.

 

If need be, (if she threatens you again about limiting your time with your daughter) take her to court. She has no right and no control over how much you see your daughter, especially for the above reason. It's petty and childish!

 

He is not her step father. This man is a 6th or 7th time on again off again, hits my daughter's mom in front of my little girl, throws temper tantrums, breaks into exes house and trashes it and steals her things ( including my daughter's toys) when they break up.

 

And she's still with him. This is what I'm dealing with.

[WasOtherWoman]

He is not her step father. This man is a 6th or 7th time on again off again, hits my daughter's mom in front of my little girl, throws temper tantrums, breaks into exes house and trashes it and steals her things ( including my daughter's toys) when they break up.

 

And she's still with him. This is what I'm dealing with.

 

Just ugh

[d0nnivain]

If this other man is violent in the home get your daughter out of that situation. Seriously. Call child protective services & report him. The courts will then make your EX chose: her kid or this guy but they won't let them both be in the house. Viola .. . you get custody without having to sue for same.

[mammasita]

What is wrong with some women!

 

Ugh.

[pteromom]

Then it went to texting where she was telling me that it was selfish of me to demand that she stop our daughter from doing this, and that she had a right to do it. I told.her I will correct the record the next time.I see her. To which she threatened to somehow revoke my time with her ( it's not court ordered, but I can make it so)

 

Instead of approaching her with anger, approach her with common sense.

 

Tell her that you don't want your daughter to grow up confused.

Ask her how she would feel if you dated someone and had your daughter call the girl Mommy?

Tell her that you love your daughter and you are her only Daddy, and ask her to please respect that and come up with another cute name for the boyfriend.

 

This would hurt really badly. I am sorry.

[Keenly]

If this other man is violent in the home get your daughter out of that situation. Seriously. Call child protective services & report him. The courts will then make your EX chose: her kid or this guy but they won't let them both be in the house. Viola .. . you get custody without having to sue for same.

 

 

Here's the thing. She might be an idiot, and make Stupid choices, she is the best mom in the world to our daughte, save for this situation.

 

I do not want her taken froM her mother, that would benefit no one.

[pteromom]

What is wrong with some women!

 

Ugh.

 

They are selfish and immature and unable to put their child first. Makes me really really sad.

 

She shouldn't even be WITH someone like that, much less have her daughter call him Daddy.