He ended it, and I feel numb.

[sandylee1]

My mother and friends know as well. None of them have suggested I end my relationship with MM or even expressed disapproval.

 

 

How sad, that a mother is accepting of her daughter being a secret lover to a MM. I can ses where some of your problems stem from now.

 

If your upbringing didn't give you morals and values there isn't more to say on that point. If your mother approves of you having an affair with a married man, it really is no surprise you're in that situation.

 

If you have any daughters in the future, you'll also approve of them being an OW.

 

How very sad.

[sandylee1]

Huh. Says whom? I was just telling my mm that I feel like I'm better for having had him in my life.

 

 

It's not rocket science to know it's not good for her wellbeing. Is she was oh so happy , she wouldn't be here posting like this. Period!

 

The numb feelings she's had and crying in bed don't sound great to me.

The on off and push pull are clearly hurting Rose.

 

Her heart taking a hit isn't good for her emotional wellbeing.

 

The man is not available, so Rose isn't getting all of him. That's not great for her emotional wellbeing.

 

It's a one way ticket to self destruct!

 

You say you are better for having MM in your life.....good for you. You obviously don't think you deserve/d better than another woman's husband.

[Giggle]

You say you are better for having MM in your life.....good for you. You obviously don't think you deserve/d better than another woman's husband.

 

Lol. I don't think you can resist. That's a very narrow view. The best kind of relationship helps you grow and learn things about yourself. Even painful things can teach you if you let them.

 

And I get more from him like this than my mom got from her husband for 30 years.

 

Life is all about what you take away from the experience and most of what gets posted here is just negative. I wouldn't do it on purpose again because of element of not being mine, but I would also not purposely get involved with a workaholic or an emotional constipated man or a majorly religious person.

 

But love is awesome and everybody can use more. There are many cases where some wouldn't risk there love because they see the end of it and how painful it has the potential of being. Just because it's short term and you don't get to keep them doesn't mean that loving them wasn't worth doing.

[goodgirlgonebad15]

How sad, that a mother is accepting of her daughter being a secret lover to a MM. I can ses where some of your problems stem from now.

 

If your upbringing didn't give you morals and values there isn't more to say on that point. If your mother approves of you having an affair with a married man, it really is no surprise you're in that situation.

 

If you have any daughters in the future, you'll also approve of them being an OW.

 

How very sad.

 

Sadly, I have a feeling RoseVille exhausted her family and friends and they are just kinda of letting her be....that is not the same as accpetance.

[goodgirlgonebad15]

Lol. I don't think you can resist. That's a very narrow view. The best kind of relationship helps you grow and learn things about yourself. Even painful things can teach you if you let them.

 

And I get more from him like this than my mom got from her husband for 30 years.

 

Life is all about what you take away from the experience and most of what gets posted here is just negative. I wouldn't do it on purpose again because of element of not being mine, but I would also not purposely get involved with a workaholic or an emotional constipated man or a majorly religious person.

 

But love is awesome and everybody can use more. There are many cases where some wouldn't risk there love because they see the end of it and how painful it has the potential of being. Just because it's short term and you don't get to keep them doesn't mean that loving them wasn't worth doing.

 

Are you with your MM? These kind of post IMO, push an agenda. I was with a seperated man. Yea he went back to his wife and hurt me. Now he is back and doing everything to prove to me that he is divorcing. Good for him, I'm doing me. My point is I understand great love and blah blah blah...but not at the expense of another person's happiness/ or hurting a BS.

[goodgirlgonebad15]

This bitter OW, "You're just mad because your affair was like xyz" thing I see being pushed by certain posters is DUMB. I am one who "got" the guy but doesn't want him because I have learned from this board that affairs and cheating are just low down. I can't get with them on any level. He can divorce all he wants and beg me all he wants...I don't rock with cheaters.

 

So yes my hope is that RoseVille realizes how unhealthy this sitatuion is. I am not here to commiserate.

[sandylee1]

 

I feel numb. Actually, I felt numb on Saturday morning, having cried my eyes out the night before,

 

but Friday night was the full blown, hard, can't-breathe, heart-is-being-ripped-out-of-my-chest type pain/hurt.

 

To feel so... numb? Dead inside?

 

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Since when is any of this good for anybody's emotional wellbeing.

It's clear as day that it's not. To dispute this is nothing but DENIAL.

[jen1447]

Sorry but a lot of the recent posts just sound like blatant Rose-bashing. I'm seeing what appear to be a lot of personal prejudices creep into the 'advice' she's getting.

 

Why can't this stuff stay civil? If she doesn't accept your advice, fine, no skin off your back, right? But then we have to start in with the denunciations and broad condemnations and proclamations that she's x/y/z and it's not possible it's any other way.

 

Enough with the ganging up again. I'd back her on this even if I thought she was completely wrong just bc I don't stand by and watch beatdowns happen.

[Popsicle]

Sorry but a lot of the recent posts just sound like blatant Rose-bashing. I'm seeing what appear to be a lot of personal prejudices creep into the 'advice' she's getting.

 

Why can't this stuff stay civil? If she doesn't accept your advice, fine, no skin off your back, right? But then we have to start in with the denunciations and broad condemnations and proclamations that she's x/y/z and it's not possible it's any other way.

 

Enough with the ganging up again. I'd back her on this even if I thought she was completely wrong just bc I don't stand by and watch beatdowns happen.

 

Welcome to the OM/OW Forum. It sucks for that reason.

[goodgirlgonebad15]

Sorry but a lot of the recent posts just sound like blatant Rose-bashing. I'm seeing what appear to be a lot of personal prejudices creep into the 'advice' she's getting.

 

Why can't this stuff stay civil? If she doesn't accept your advice, fine, no skin off your back, right? But then we have to start in with the denunciations and broad condemnations and proclamations that she's x/y/z and it's not possible it's any other way.

 

Enough with the ganging up again. I'd back her on this even if I thought she was completely wrong just bc I don't stand by and watch beatdowns happen.

 

Actually RoseVille is the one being rude and defensive. Sorry not sorry.

[RoseVille]

Sorry, Giggle. But in this case he broke it off with her and I know that if a guy broke if off with me and I was crying and saying I felt I was dying my friends would be like he's a jerk, forget him. If he did it twice and came back they would be like... Bee... Don't even take him back. No one called her stupid. But I can tell you, I actually appreciate that kind of advice.

 

I keep sane women around me who will slap me upside my head if I need it but that's my preference. It doesn't mean they don't empathize or can't commiserate but I think a mixture of empathy and girl what the actual eff are you doing never hurts.

 

Well, it's not MY preference, nor how my friends handle me when I'm going through a tough time, and you'd think that after reading all my threads that everyone complains about wherein I practically beg for people to stop treating me the way some are here because it only makes me dig in my heels, people would know that.

 

I'll just continue corresponding with the lovely people who've PM and emailed me from now on.