starla33 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 This is something i have been thinking about. I have a friend that has only dated her boyfriend about 10 months and they are already getting engaged. I always thought that was a bit fast, but seems like it's happening a lot. What are your thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 It really depends on the two people involved. As a rule of thumb, I'd say the younger you are the longer you should have been dating. DH & I were together for about 1.5 years when we got engaged. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 IMO, about 2 years before getting engage, or sooner if you agree to a long engagement period. I feel you don't really know someone until at least 2 years, and that's especially true of romantic relationships where the "falling in love" hormones typically wear off by the 2 year mark. That's when you start to see the real person that you'll be with in the future. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Author starla33 Posted June 8, 2015 Author Share Posted June 8, 2015 IMO, about 2 years before getting engage, or sooner if you agree to a long engagement period. I feel you don't really know someone until at least 2 years, and that's especially true of romantic relationships where the "falling in love" hormones typically wear off by the 2 year mark. That's when you start to see the real person that you'll be with in the future. i agree with this as well, i thought 2 years was kind of standard for seeing if you want to forever be tied to this person 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Got it Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 This is something i have been thinking about. I have a friend that has only dated her boyfriend about 10 months and they are already getting engaged. I always thought that was a bit fast, but seems like it's happening a lot. What are your thoughts? My dad always said you wanted to see someone in all four seasons (so at least a year). My personal experience, I tend to date someone for years before talking marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 I don't know how long it should take to get engaged. I know that you only really get to know someone after you've broken up with them / divorced them . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Most relationships end around the 3-year-mark. I'd never get engaged before 4 years though, just to be sure. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 Most relationships end around the 3-year-mark. I'd never get engaged before 4 years though, just to be sure. I'm having such a deja vu with this comment ! Weird !!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Torii Posted June 8, 2015 Share Posted June 8, 2015 This is something i have been thinking about. I have a friend that has only dated her boyfriend about 10 months and they are already getting engaged. I always thought that was a bit fast, but seems like it's happening a lot. What are your thoughts? I think people should wait until a year passes before deciding anything rational. It's great that you may think you're in love, but you won't really know this until you see every single aspects of their personality. What you like, what you enjoy, what annoys you and how well you mesh with each other. IMO, 3 years should be enough to know that you're in love and want to marry. Don't rush, get to know each other on a personal level so you can offer support, love and kindness like no other. If the relationship is meant to be, the time between dating and engagement should just be enjoyed. Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I think it is important to at least be on the same page about marriage within the first year... you don't want to invest too much only to discover a fundamental difference of opinion... whoops! But so long as you are on the same page, then no need to rush at all. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 I think realistically speaking...3 to 4 years, at the earliest. If you're talking about a lifetime, you just can't know someone that well within the first 2 years. Emotionally speaking, probably within the first two years as a man. There really is no hurry, but since people are in a hurry to "prove their love" and "move forward with their life" it's no wonder why people make a lot of mistakes in romance, in the end. You want to see how someone TRULY is though, be with them during their worst times...when they have to care the littlest. As long as people have something to lose, they tend to act accordingly as to not jeopardize the situation...but it's not who people truly are all of the time. Link to post Share on other sites
blackcat777 Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 (edited) I read on Evan Marc Katz's blog somewhere that college educated couples who court 3.5 years have significantly reduced divorce rates. Too many years with no proposal is also a red flag... the stringers holding out for something better. I think I also read somewhere that most proposals happen between 9 months - 1.5 years, and the likelihood of proposal drops off significantly after that... which is why EMK's blog was interesting. (I don't have a specific source because I've read way too much of this drivel. ) The Rules says to double the time waiting for an engagement for men under 25. (2 years, according to them.) I do think there's wisdom in younger people courting longer, vs. 40+ and a second marriage type scenario. Part of it is knowing yourself and what you want. Edited June 9, 2015 by blackcat777 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mystikmind2005 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 I read on Evan Marc Katz's blog somewhere that college educated couples who court 3.5 years have significantly reduced divorce rates. Too many years with no proposal is also a red flag... the stringers holding out for something better. I think I also read somewhere that most proposals happen between 9 months - 1.5 years, and the likelihood of proposal drops off significantly after that... which is why EMK's blog was interesting. (I don't have a specific source because I've read way too much of this drivel. ) The Rules says to double the time waiting for an engagement for men under 25. (2 years, according to them.) I do think there's wisdom in younger people courting longer, vs. 40+ and a second marriage type scenario. Part of it is knowing yourself and what you want. On the other hand, the engagement is not really all that relevant, you can get engaged on the first date if you want, but book the wedding in 4 years time! What difference does it make compared to someone who dates for 2 years before getting engaged and book the wedding in another 2 years? Both are 4 year count down to marriage, both have exactly the same risk of failure, the only issue is the way people perceive engagement. Link to post Share on other sites
MoreAmore Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 I would anticipate at least a year before getting engaged, 18 months to two years before getting married. There's room for individual differences here, however, and the younger you are, the longer the dating period before marriage should be to account for how well one knows itself and how "finalized" you are as a person. If you're living apart, it should be longer than if you are living together. For my past, I dated my first boyfriend for two years before he proposed, my next boyfriend for three years before he proposed (living together most that time), and my next boyfriend for only a bit over a year before he proposed (also living together for most that time). A long period before engagement or well engaged certainly does not guarantee a forever relationship or marriage, however. Link to post Share on other sites
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