Wife has been having a LTA for 15 years

[violet1]

Sad but very true.

I would never underestimate a child's emotions. I'm not sure of the two children's ages, but unless they are babies or toddler years, they are going to be just as furious with their mother as the OP is. After all, their life has also been a lie. Even if the W and OM end up together, the children aren't going to be happy to meet a new daddy. What about OM's children from his marriage? This is going to be the sh#t storm from hell for ALL of these kids. I'm worried for them. What a selfish, evil woman! Stories like this make me lose hope in humanity.

 

 

OP, I think you are going to need to get counselling for you and your kids. Are you going to tell them? Is your wife? My prayers are with you and your kids. It's sick and twisted, but I have read stories of AP's who secretly plan to get pregnant and have the husband (BS) play daddy. They think of it as their own way of having their own family together without leaving their marriages. I bet your W had no intention of leaving you or ending her A ever. She basically had two husbands. Unfortunately, you are not alone. Again, I'm so so sorry you are going through this. Make sure to eat, sleep and keep healthy. You are going to need your strength to get through this.

[Noirek]

You don't know. This is irrelevant.

 

I already explained the difference to the first part. The second part is your personal opinion.

 

Yesterday the OP posted and showed depending on his wife's reaction he was willing to R. He had all the same information that he does now. So, depending on her reaction on how he feels tomorrow this roller coaster he is on may have him considering R again. However, knowing she wanted to be caught or didn't care if she was shows another level of ick in her character.

 

Hopefully, it is irrelevant to him. Hopefully he doesn't waver on D. But it wouldn't be the first time someone has.

[violet1]

She got away with cheating for 15 years, that's not rookie cheater behaviour, odds are even the best liars and cheaters will screw up eventually. I don't see it as her wanting to get caught or not caring if she did as you'd previously said.

I agree! I think she wanted two lives with two different men all at the same time. Having two babies with the OM is not a slip up. One maybe, but not two. This was a very well planned out affair. Woman who don't want to stay married and intentionally get pregnant by their AP, do care and don't want to get caught. She's been getting away with it for so long, I bet she thought this day would never come.

[66Charger]

Since she has two children with O/M it is likely she will leave you for him and she will most definitely go for custody of the children. They will try to prove that as a couple they have more claim to your daughters than you

 

It is highly likely that you will not get remorse, but a battle. The other wife is the wild card. The damage will be coming from all directions.

 

She slipped. Nothing else.

 

I am amazed at cheaterthink. Arrogant, delusional and no selfdiscipline. This isnt going to be about divorce or reconcilliation.

This is going to be about all out war. And guess who will be the collateral.

 

OP, get healthy. Be prepared. If she was ready to get caught, they would have been ready and you would have been served divorce papers. No way she was hoping to end the affair and stregthen your marriage. Unless she took you for a.complete doormat loser that would kniwingly allow themselves to be continually stabbed in the back after DDay, while you patiently waited for her to figure it out.

Yes right.

OP, You have a window of opportunity to tilt things your way, if they are unaware.

Pearl Harbor was effective. Be smart. A thousand prayers for you and yours

[66Charger]

Sorry aliveagain, your original post should be quoted

Edited June 10, 2015 by 66Charger

[Popsicle]

I know without a shadow of a doubt it's the OM's children as I have reviewed the thousand odd emails between them dating back at least 10 years. It's apparent that they both know it's his children, and he has asked her on numerous emails "how are my girls doing?" etc. sorry I missed mentioning that before, and I did mention the other 2 look a little like the OM if you look hard enough but mostly their mother.

 

It makes me literally throw up when I read their emails, I don't even know why I re-read them in my spare time. I'm seeing the full picture of their deception and how they laughed at both myself and the other BS all this time. I am going to send a usb with all the emails to OM wife asap. At lunch I only showed her the key emails that showed obvious infidelity plus the DNA test results. She didn't doubt my evidence, she was upset and didn't say much mostly cried. As I said before we are now both working together lining our ducks in a row and having a confrontation at the same time at their work place.

 

I spoke with my lawyer and wow it is a sticky legal situation as many of you have mentioned. As for me getting the DNA samples of my kids it wasn't that hard while they were asleep.

 

I'm so furious at all this, I really want to have full custody of the kids and take them away from both of them! I will do whatever it takes to get my revenge, I assure you LS, justice is absolute I will no longer be a cuckhold provider to this manipulative whore. Before anyone says anything about using kids as revenge, please spare me, they were both happy to use their kids to get money off me it's only fair that I have legal custody over them I don't care if they give me money from OM to compensate for it, I don't need their money, I want my kids..... they are all I have

 

Glad to see that you are going to divorce, but no court is going to allow you to take the kids just because you're angry. It is not in the best interest of the kids for them never to see their mother. Just being honest with you.

[lifedestroyed]

The OM's wife and I decided to join forces legally, we both have the same lawyer now although it was not easy convincing him to agree to this. Yes it could have been a conflict of interest between OMW and I if money were an issue, thankfully it's not and i'm not interested in money anyways. Not to brag or anything, but my WS can do her worst to me in settlement and I would still be well off. OM's wife and I both have the same interests here at the end of the day and that's our children, so we have each others best interests and each others backs. She has 2 teen children with the OM and also wants full custody.

 

Our lawyer told us right now we have the upper hand and to remain as normal as possible at our homes not to raise any suspicions to our WS's. We are getting close to finalising everything and getting ready to have them served (you heard correctly ). We both want nothing to do with either of those POS scums, so we are both sure we want to divorce them. We have both been living a lie most of our marriages, no chance for R we both realise this now.

 

I'll admit that the OM's wife and I are becoming closer everyday. It's very strange how having a common enemy can bond people. You guys here on LS and her are the ones who have been helping me throughout this entire ordeal. You, her and our lawyer are the only people who know about this, not even my two best friends know. We are both helping each other get through this and there are a lot of raw feelings involved, vulnerablity it's just all so intense. If i'm not careful this could VERY easily become an EA between OM's wife and I.

 

OM wife suggested we try something extreme, I don't know how I feel about it as it is so morally wrong and probably illegal. She suggested we set both our WS's up to become dependant on alcohol or drugs so that we can frame them as being alcoholics or drug addicts so that we can claim they are unfit parents and win full custody. Even in my rage I don't know if I can sink that low, it would just be sinking to their level.

 

At home, I am finding it difficult at times to make love to my WW, and other times we have the best sex we've ever had, think of it as one sided hysterical bonding on my end if you will, since she knows nothing. OM wife feels like she has checked out and she said she fakes it with her WH. So for now we are faking our normal lives although our WS's suspect something is wrong. We have come up with elaborate lies to steer them away from suspecting D-Days, instead they think other things are wrong.

 

To settle the debate about them wanting to get caught or not, these emails that I found between them were hidden very very well. I installed a key logger on my WW's laptop and that's how I found them. They were not sloppy at all and they did not want to get caught I can assure you of that. I thank God I saw that text message and connected the dots, that was probably sloppy on their part I suppose. It's not important anymore, we are focusing on the future and our kids.

 

We are definitely going to make sure all the kids go to their grand parents when we do confront them. We are still set on the work place confrontation, HOPING they lose their jobs. They love their jobs very much, boast about them infact and have both been with the same company for 18+ years. They could easily find new jobs even if they have bad references, this is more so to strip them of their glory as they are high up, everyone adores them, and to shame them.

 

Two months ago I would never have thought of being this vendictive to my wife EVER. This is what she has done to me, she has ruined everything and I cannot go back, it's been all a lie!

I am keeping a close eye on the OM's wife so that she doesn't confront her WH, she even asked me to do so in the event she feels like she's about to snap she contacts me straight away and I calm her down. The same vice versa, but I also have you guys I can come here, thank you.

 

We also decided that when all the confrontation is over, we will tell the kids about all this. This will no doubt be a huge shock to them! I'm already in IC myself, it's helping, and i've been recommended a good counselor for the children. I will send them to my counselor for IC, i'm happy with that decision. Do you think it's better to keep quiet about the biological dad to my kids? OM's wife was reluctant about it but I managed to convince her they deserve to know.

 

I'm tempted to tell OM's wife to come join LS and join this thread but i'm not sure if that's such a good idea.

[Mr. Lucky]

Glad to see that you are going to divorce, but no court is going to allow you to take the kids just because you're angry. It is not in the best interest of the kids for them never to see their mother. Just being honest with you.

 

I also question the concept of retroactive child support some are proposing, if for nothing more than emotional reasons. How do you tell your kids "you're mine, I love you" but then ask to be reimbursed for the cost of raising them?

 

OP, yours is a difficult situation with a simple solution. Get good legal advice, confront this duplicitous witch and separate your lives. Forget the physical, financial or custodial revenge scenarios bandied about and get a divorce. Handled rationally, a year from now you'll be like any other formerly married couple, albeit one with a heartrending backstory.

 

The BS role is tough in the dissolution of any marriage but yours especially so. Be strong for the kids, have the feeling their ride will be just as bumpy as yours...

 

Mr. Lucky

[66Charger]

Questtion about cheaterthink.

 

How does a man go to his "real" daughters and say to them. I am your real father, not the guy who has raised you, loved you, provided for you and this is so, because for the last 15 years, i have been stabbing him in the back. That pain he is feeling? I caused it, now let's try to be a loving blended family....ok?

 

What could your thought process consist of?

 

I would hope that the court process would recognize the damage that would be done on a daily basis if they were TORTURED this way.

 

The STBX and the other STBX will be divorced and now together because of course, its been 15 years. And your going to force that on these children?

 

No. They belong with their real DAD. Who PROVIDED for them, PROFESSED even till this dark day that they are his, and whose duty it is to PROTECT.

 

You can not defend this because of gender.

Edited June 10, 2015 by 66Charger

[Noirek]

until I saw a strange text on her phone last month. She had said she was going to visit her mother and while she was in the shower, I saw a text appear on her lockscreen from the OM saying "see you soon".

 

From that day everything changed, I didn't mention anythjng to her and went into investigation mode. I found and read emails upon emails of evidence showing that these guys have been having an affair for well over a decade. Our first born looks exactly like me so I had no doubt he was mine, but the other 2 do look a lot more like their mother with a little bit of OM there too if you look hard enough, but I didn't think much of it until I did the DNA test on all of them and found out that the last 2 are in fact not mine. Because of the kids ages (17 14 10), I was able to deduce that the affair has been going on for at least 15 years.

 

Anyway, today I did something I never thought I would do amidst all of this mess. I contacted the OM's wife and asked her out to lunch.

 

I know without a shadow of a doubt it's the OM's children as I have reviewed the thousand odd emails between them dating back at least 10 years. It's apparent that they both know it's his children, and he has asked her on numerous emails "how are my girls doing?" etc. sorry I missed mentioning that before, and I did mention the other 2 look a little like the OM if you look hard enough but mostly their mother.

 

I spoke with my lawyer and wow it is a sticky legal situation as many of you have mentioned. As for me getting the DNA samples of my kids it wasn't that hard while they were asleep.

 

The OM's wife and I decided to join forces legally, we both have the same lawyer now although it was not easy convincing him to agree to this. Yes it could have been a conflict of interest between OMW and I if money were an issue, thankfully it's not and i'm not interested in money anyways. Not to brag or anything, but my WS can do her worst to me in settlement and I would still be well off. OM's wife and I both have the same interests here at the end of the day and that's our children, so we have each others best interests and each others backs. She has 2 teen children with the OM and also wants full custody.

 

Our lawyer told us right now we have the upper hand and to remain as normal as possible at our homes not to raise any suspicions to our WS's. We are getting close to finalising everything and getting ready to have them served (you heard correctly ). We both want nothing to do with either of those POS scums, so we are both sure we want to divorce them. We have both been living a lie most of our marriages, no chance for R we both realise this now.

 

I'll admit that the OM's wife and I are becoming closer everyday. It's very strange how having a common enemy can bond people. You guys here on LS and her are the ones who have been helping me throughout this entire ordeal. You, her and our lawyer are the only people who know about this, not even my two best friends know. We are both helping each other get through this and there are a lot of raw feelings involved, vulnerablity it's just all so intense. If i'm not careful this could VERY easily become an EA between OM's wife and I.

 

OM wife feels like she has checked out and she said she fakes it with her WH.

 

I'm already in IC myself, it's helping,

 

cut down to highlight the important parts.

 

The first post was 24 hours ago. The OP has been a busy man. He is falling in love, seen a lawyer and almost has a finalized divorce and In IC.

Edited June 10, 2015 by Noirek

[sandylee1]

Sad but very true.

 

Considering the OM has known they are his but not sought to be a father to them, I wouldn't bank on the mother getting sole custody.

 

50/50 is more likely. A court wouldn't remove them from the only father they've known. OM can see them , when he's living with the OPs WW after they split up.

 

It's not in the child's best interest for the OP not to have any custody .

-----------------------------------******************--------------------------*************

OP

 

Your story is absolutely heartbreaking. I truly believe deceiving a man that a child is his is one of the very worst things a woman can do. It's horrible and shows just how deceitful she is. I don't understand why she never got divorced to go and be with him.

 

The only case worse I can compare to this was a BH who found out his son wasn't his after his wife had passed away . Only found out because his son was involved in a traffic accident and rushed to hospital. He needed some tests done for being a suitable match for a procedure, only to find out the son wasn't biologically his. He had no idea who the father was. He was wondering if his daughter was actually his, but was scared to do a DNA test.

 

 

As far as exposure at work , if you want to shame and humiliate them , that would work. Don't bank on serving them at work , meaning they will loose their jobs. You'd have to do a lot more than serve them to achieve this unless they have breached any company policies.

 

You'd have to somehow make their behaviour look bad for the company. One thing that comes to mind was a woman who made flyers stating that the OW who works at xxx company sleeps with married men. The OW was asked to resign as it was bad publicity for the company. In your case you'd clearly have to name the both of them.

 

I totally understand how the both of you (you and OMW) would want revenge. Who knows if the affair started before the 15 years even. Doesn't really matter though it's the ultimate betrayal.

 

Rather than OMW coming to LS recommend 'SurvivingInfidelity.com', then you can both have seperate forums.

 

It's great that your in IC. I really can't imagine your devastation following this discovery. Your world has been turned upside down through the actions of two selfish, deceitful and immoral human beings.

 

That email saying 'how are my girls doing', really makes me shudder. How can anyone trust those two. I truly understand how people say cheating is a character flaw , because if you can have a 15 year affair and two kids between you, you're capable of anything.

 

They deserve every bit of revenge within the law , but please remember the children first and foremost in all this. All the children involved are the priority .

[lifedestroyed]

cut down to highlight the important parts.

 

The first post was 24 hours ago. The OP has been a busy man. He is falling in love, seen a lawyer and almost has a finalized divorce and In IC.

 

My apologies if the timeline of events are a little confusing in this thread. I'm a lousy poster in this regard, i'm sometimes forgetting to post some important details and bare in mind my D-Day was not 24 hours ago, just incase you missed that point. As for myself and the OM's wife, I never said we were falling in love at all, I only mentioned that there are a lot of raw feelings (because of trauma from our WS's infidelities) and both of us are vulnerable emotionally, therefore we can get into an EA much quicker and easier than a lot of other situations if we're not careful. There is just so much involved in my life right now forgive me if i'm not making any sense.

 

I will not have an affair no matter if it's an EA. It would make me just as bad as my WW. After divorce then I can pursue relationships perhaps.

 

Will keep you guys updated.

[lifedestroyed]

I would also like to point out that i'm reading everyone of your posts, I just have no time to reply to all of them. Thank you all for taking the time to read and contribute, I appreciate everyone of you.

[No Limit]

I agree with the posters above - there have even been suicide cases of affair offsprings, so getting them ready for counseling AND cutting them off from the culprits of this madness are a must.

 

It's only natural that you and the other BS are growing together - you're fighting side by side, and war makes bonding quite easy. But you are right, for now you should focus on the divorce proceedings and D-Day preparations. Be sure to prepare her for what will come once the cards are laid down - she will be lied to endlessly, but she mustn't give in to her monster of a husband.

 

It's funny how the WSes smell the smoke but in their arrogance don't even think of where the fire is raging. You might want to check out the threads of peaksandvalleys - while she was getting her ducks in a row (her husband had a LTA for years with a slut married woman who too had made her husband think an affair child was his; not peaksandvalleys husband was the father though, she had PLENTY of affairs and as later turned out other minor criminal activity... but I digress) her husband became nervous and continously asked if something was wrong, and once even asked her if she was cheating on him. It's incredible how it's always the same pattern; if they'd teach them in school the numbers of affairs uncaught would dwindle in no time.

[Noirek]

My apologies if the timeline of events are a little confusing in this thread. I'm a lousy poster in this regard, i'm sometimes forgetting to post some important details and bare in mind my D-Day was not 24 hours ago, just incase you missed that point. As for myself and the OM's wife, I never said we were falling in love at all, I only mentioned that there are a lot of raw feelings (because of trauma from our WS's infidelities) and both of us are vulnerable emotionally, therefore we can get into an EA much quicker and easier than a lot of other situations if we're not careful. There is just so much involved in my life right now forgive me if i'm not making any sense.

 

I will not have an affair no matter if it's an EA. It would make me just as bad as my WW. After divorce then I can pursue relationships perhaps.

 

Will keep you guys updated.

 

Things getting jumbled are normal. It can be confusing. So to clarify. You posted that you never thought much of the younger two kids looking different from you until the dna test but later you say in the thousands of email you read OM asking about his girls.

I got your timeline

-text a month ago

-digging and dna test sent in

-last week the results of dna test

-the day you first posted you met with the OBS and then with a lawyer, and then both with fhe lawyer, almost got your divorce finalized and her ready to serve, had IC, and started to grow closer to the OBS knowing you could easily have an EA with her (this last part was my 24 hour comment)

A little clarity on this would be helpful

[autumnnight]

Things getting jumbled are normal. It can be confusing. So to clarify. You posted that you never thought much of the younger two kids looking different from you until the dna test but later you say in the thousands of email you read OM asking about his girls.

I got your timeline

-text a month ago

-digging and dna test sent in

-last week the results of dna test

-the day you first posted you met with the OBS and then with a lawyer, and then both with fhe lawyer, almost got your divorce finalized and her ready to serve, had IC, and started to grow closer to the OBS knowing you could easily have an EA with her (this last part was my 24 hour comment)

A little clarity on this would be helpful

 

People who have been betrayed are in emotional upheaval. Just getting there clothes on correctly some days is an accomplishment. Maybe back of and have a bit of empathy.

[Cephalopod]

I fully identify with OP's need and desire to lay waste the OM and the WW.

 

But I really do counsel he not expose them at work. I don't want to see OP having to pay his wife spousal support for the rest of his life. If I were him, I would be working with the lawyer to do everything I could to make sure she did not get a single penny for anything other than child support.

 

If she gets fired, he's screwed.

[William]

Got a report on some postings which were suspected of violating our guidelines so will provide a steering statement.

 

Let's focus in on these two statements by the thread starter:

 

I guess I came here for the support and to help me on how I can decide what I want to do. What would any of you do if you were in my situation?

 

I would also like to point out that i'm reading everyone of your posts, I just have no time to reply to all of them. Thank you all for taking the time to read and contribute, I appreciate everyone of you.

 

Thanks in advance for your cooperation with this moderation directive. As the thread starter has indicated they are reading, please continue with topical sharing of personal experience and perspective.

 

Do be aware that making statements of, or alluding to, trolling will result in the cessation of posting privileges of the members making those statements or allegations. Post with that in mind. Thanks!

[aliveagain]

Others must have known about her other secret life. To carry on an affair for that many years requires help or at the very least she had to confide with some friend or family who may have been an alibi. These people should be removed from your life because they were never friends of your marriage.

 

Do not let the other betrayed spouse convince you to do anything stupid or illegal, this will hurt your cause. Take the high road and do not lower yourself to her level because once your that low it is very hard to climb back out. You now know the truth about the deceptive woman you are married to, act accordingly, protect your children.

 

Other man was a sperm donor and that is all. Your wife can by her refusal to tell you that very important piece of information reinforce that fact in a court of law. You are on the birth certificate and they had 10-14 years to challenge you about your daughters paternity but didn't. You on the other hand have only known for weeks and you still claim them as your daughters.

Edited June 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[elaine567]

Exposing them at work is a bad idea.

One: the affair may be an open secret at work, so no shock to anyone.

Two: if you are already painted as the "crazy" husband - showing up, at their work causing a scene, may just confirm that for everyone.

Three: if this gets heated, you may end up doing something that will scupper your chances of the custody of your children.

Four: The work may not care as long as the job was done. It appears both have been good workers for 15 long years despite the affair, so who cares? Unless work is a business based on moral values, then bosses need to be practical and unfair dismissal suits are not in their best interests.

Five: You do NOT want her to lose her job. Think with your head.

 

Forget revenge at the moment, it complicates matters with emotion and will cloud your judgement and do you no good, when it comes to fighting for your children. YOU need to be thinking clearly here.

"Mad", vengeful, angry people do not good parents make, courts know that.

Your wife has had 15 years to get her head around this, she will present a nice calm front, and will want to paint you as the devil.

DO NOT give her ammunition.

[beach]

The OM's wife made the suggestion of setting them up to look like drug addicts or alcoholics... I think that's not a good idea. A better idea would be to have your attorney see if your case can be presented to a judge he knows to be of the best moral character possible. The judge would make the final ruling - try to have your best Judge on this case.

 

In the meantime, don't do anything illegal.

[aliveagain]

Exposing them at work is a bad idea.

One: the affair may be an open secret at work, so no shock to anyone.

Two: if you are already painted as the "crazy" husband - showing up, at their work causing a scene, may just confirm that for everyone.

Three: if this gets heated, you may end up doing something that will scupper your chances of the custody of your children.

Four: The work may not care as long as the job was done. It appears both have been good workers for 15 long years despite the affair, so who cares? Unless work is a business based on moral values, then bosses need to be practical and unfair dismissal suits are not in their best interests.

Five: You do NOT want her to lose her job. Think with your head.

 

Forget revenge at the moment, it complicates matters with emotion and will cloud your judgement and do you no good, when it comes to fighting for your children. YOU need to be thinking clearly here.

"Mad", vengeful, angry people do not good parents make, courts know that.

Your wife has had 15 years to get her head around this, she will present a nice calm front, and will want to paint you as the devil.

DO NOT give her ammunition.

 

I agree, serve her at work, maybe you and other betrayed spouse can use the same server and have them both served at the same time, that will cause them both sufficient embarrassment. I also agree it is hard to hide a 15 year office affair, many may already know or suspect. I would bet that she has rewritten your marriage and people she works with may have a much different view of who you are. Taking the high road and acting with a level head will win you more points with the Court and even with the people she works with. Take back the respect she trashed with her affair. Listen to your lawyer.

[velvette]

Since she has two children with O/M it is likely she will leave you for him and she will most definitely go for custody of the children. They will try to prove that as a couple they have more claim to your daughters than you do. .

 

She may want to leave for the OM; however, even in these extreme circumstances it would not surprise me to see OM pleading/begging and maybe even convincing his BS to keep him and throwing his mistress under the bus.

[Try]

@OP: With a 15 year affair where they spent daily time together at work (maybe more time than with their spouses) and 2 children together, there is a very good chance that your wife and the OM will end up publicly together after you confront. They may already see their relationship as the primary relationship, and after you confront may move in together.

 

My concern is that after you get divorced and claim his 2 biological children as your own, your 2 daughters will have the opportunity to bond with their biological father and their 1/2 siblings (his other children) when they stay with their mother, and he becomes their step-father. Long term you will be paying big time child support and he will have them as his daughters, where they view the OM as their real father, and you as the nice guy that sends the court mandated checks. This is a very real possible outcome. Also, know that courts often require the legal father to pay support for college.

 

Before deciding on making the big claim in court that they are your children, talk to your attorney about this and think through how you will feel about pay child support in that situation. Not what you want to hear, but it may be your reality. Your story is one of the saddest stories in the history of this site.

Edited June 10, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[lifedestroyed]

Things getting jumbled are normal. It can be confusing. So to clarify. You posted that you never thought much of the younger two kids looking different from you until the dna test but later you say in the thousands of email you read OM asking about his girls.

I got your timeline

-text a month ago

-digging and dna test sent in

-last week the results of dna test

-the day you first posted you met with the OBS and then with a lawyer, and then both with fhe lawyer, almost got your divorce finalized and her ready to serve, had IC, and started to grow closer to the OBS knowing you could easily have an EA with her (this last part was my 24 hour comment)

A little clarity on this would be helpful

 

Yes the timeline you wrote is almost correct!

 

I'll tweak and add a few more details on top of the timeline you just wrote to clarify:

 

- found text a month ago

 

- digging and DNA test sent in

 

- early last week the results of DNA test came in

 

- found the first email of OM mentioning my daughters as his children just before the weekend last week (I read them backwards not from the first one) which was after the DNA test (a very astute observation on your part, good work).

 

- finished reading all the emails a day before I made my first post here, now I am re-reading them to see if I missed any crucial details.

 

- the day I first posted I met with the OBS for lunch AFTER I had met my own lawyer in the morning.

 

- OBS and I spoke on the phone about having the same lawyer late afternoon, then by that very same evening we had arranged that with our lawyer and I organised IC for the next day.

 

- had my first IC session then went to meet with OBS and our lawyer, then had brunch with OBS afterwards.

 

It appears as though i've been busy but honestly I haven't at all. I have a very flexible job which gives me a lot of off days, for obvious reasons I will not divulge it here for the sake of anonymity. I am currently on my off days for the past week and a half so i'm not short of time to take care of things while WW is working and kids are at school. As I said before I don't want to boast, but money is not an issue for me so getting things done while having lots of time off is very easy. Perhaps this is not always the case for other BS's, i'm fortunate in this regard.

 

As for the "divorce close to being finalised", I think I worded it wrongly and you also assumed wrongly. I meant the things we wanted to sort out pre-confrontation are almost finalised; should actually be finalised in the next couple of days and definitely ready to confront first thing Monday morning next week (that's when OBS and I plan on executing our dual confrontation). OBS and I are trying our best to speed things up believe me we are both aching desperately to confront those two scums. The longer we wait for confrontation, the harder it is to hold everything in and act normal at home. We are both ticking time bombs.

 

As for OBS and I bonding "quickly" yes that is of course true because it's not like I met her for the first time recently. I have known OBS and her family for at least as long as the affair. Remember my WW has been working with the OM for longer than 15 years so I see OBS regularly at their many social work functions plus around the place on family outings. Of course our families are not close or anything, but going through this with OBS has made us very close instantly, it definitely feels like I have been close friends with her for a very long time even though our "new friendship" just developed overnight. I'm sure a few other people can attest to that? I don't know.

 

Again I apologise for not being entirely clear in my posts. If there are anymore things I can clarify please ask ahead. I will keep updating as our sad saga continues. Please keep me in your prayers LS, I appreciate your love and care from the bottom of my heart.

 

LD