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tips on how to improve feelings after a rough patch?

mystikmind2005

By mystikmind2005,
in Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

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mystikmind2005

mystikmind2005

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Yea, so had a rough patch last week, GF put me on the 'i need space' shelf.

 

Were talking again this week, seems to be that it will work out but there is still allot of damage to repair.

 

I feel like i have lost a bit of trust for her, because the reason for her needing space was very innocuous. There were other issues also happening (not in my control) and this was just the straw to far, but still, i don't have the enthusiasm that i did before the 'needing space'. I am completely committed too her and i understand feelings don't just bounce back at the flick of a switch....

 

So what kind of things can i do to repair and invigorate our relationship?

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Bubberfly

Bubberfly

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SHE needs to work with YOU. She initiated the space. She broke your trust. You deserve to know a solid reason as to why she needed this space (if you want to know). She needs to communicate and win your trust back.

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mystikmind2005

mystikmind2005

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SHE needs to work with YOU. She initiated the space. She broke your trust. You deserve to know a solid reason as to why she needed this space (if you want to know). She needs to communicate and win your trust back.

 

True, but i don't really know how close she came to calling it quits? So for the time being i would rather try and focus on positive things?

 

Build up some credit in the love bank before spending any of that on my own needs

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Torii

Torii

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True, but i don't really know how close she came to calling it quits? So for the time being i would rather try and focus on positive things?

 

Build up some credit in the love bank before spending any of that on my own needs

 

 

Take my advice:

 

 

Look after you - all of you, every aspect of you.

 

I understand that you're invested in your relationship, but you need to have balance. You need to know when you need some you time to take care of you, and your personal needs. Your GF knows this, why don't you?

 

I don't know what caused her to want space, but all I can say is she needs it for some reason you may never be told. Respect it. Don't rush to fix the relationship when she clearly isn't investing the same amount of feelings as you are.

 

 

Don't smother her. Give her the space she says she needs and if she doesn't want to get back into a relationship with you, call it quits. Be the better person and do what she obviously couldn't, when the time to separate comes.

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Satu

Satu

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1. Sit down, close your eyes, and let your awareness scan over you body, just noticing the sensations/how you feel.

 

2. Just sit with the feeling for one minute.

 

3.Tell yourself it's ok to feel that way. Feel love for yourself feeling those feelings.

 

Slowly open your eyes.

 

This takes 2-3 minutes, and will help you to feel more centred and grounded.

 

Do it twice a day.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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Anything you try to do will be seen as smothering by her. You have to let her come to you & you have to let her go if she doesn't.

 

You didn't cause this problem so you can't be the one who fixes it. It's her issue.

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mystikmind2005

mystikmind2005

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Anything you try to do will be seen as smothering by her. You have to let her come to you & you have to let her go if she doesn't.

 

You didn't cause this problem so you can't be the one who fixes it. It's her issue.

 

Well, i believe in working together regardless, but, as it happens in this case, we both have situations in our life circumstances beyond our control which is the issue, no one to blame here.

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d0nnivain

d0nnivain

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It's not blame. She said she wants space. If you try to do things to fix this -- ask to talk, send her flowers, write her poems -- none of that is giving her space and she will perceive all of it as you trying to smother her. It will drive her farther away. Proceed at your own peril. You can't work with somebody who does not want to work with you

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mystikmind2005

mystikmind2005

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It's not blame. She said she wants space. If you try to do things to fix this -- ask to talk, send her flowers, write her poems -- none of that is giving her space and she will perceive all of it as you trying to smother her. It will drive her farther away. Proceed at your own peril. You can't work with somebody who does not want to work with you

 

We already discussed what she needs from me, and she is the one inviting me to talk the last couple of times. She says she is very relieved and happy that i understand :)

 

I still do have to be gentle tho and not come on too strong.

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