Am I wrong, or is he?

[Shauna]

I have a boyfriend who does not have a lot of energy. And the energy he does have is spent on watching DVD's at home or surfing the net. I am a very energetic person on the other hand. I love the balance between relaxing with t.v. or home, and going out and being active. He says he loves me and misses me but he never makes a point to visit me, or go out with me, or call me. He just says "that's the way I am" and that I should understand how he really feels towards me. Here's the thing, I'm tired of guessing and doing nothing every weekend. I'm tired of feeling secondary to television and "home life". I've tried to go half way, but I'm starting to lose who I am in the process. What should I do? Is he acting too inattentive or am I just being demanding? Please, someone, give me your advice or experiences!

[sparkle]

Dear Shauna,

 

You've got me all curious now...

 

What exactly does he do that makes you want to stay with him, even though he doesn't meet your needs????

 

I think he has every right to stay at home and watch DVD's and surf the net. Like he said, that's the way he is.

 

You can't make him change. You can't make him go out when he doesn't want to.

 

But then again, you also have every right to leave him. No one is forcing you to stay with him. If you're looking for a guy that will enjoy being with you and will love to spend most of his time with you, you are definitely with the wrong guy. There are MANY other guys out there that have the type of personality that you're looking for.

 

To answer your question "Am I wrong, or is he?" I think it's your fault for staying with a guy like this for so long. As soon as you realize your needs are not being met and the other person doesn't make any effort to please you, it is time to kick him to the curb.

[Shauna]

Sparkle:

 

Thanks for your direct manner. The funny thing is, I really knew all of that what you explained, but I guess I wasn't facing up to it. I really needed that.