818heartbreak Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 And almost 1 month of NC. I sent him a card that I hand made, but something inside of me wants to call him, but I know I can't. I'm dying inside. I'm a mess over this and I feel so pathetic. Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Who was responsible for break up? You or him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 818heartbreak Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 Who was responsible for break up? You or him. I was the one who initiated it, but I feel like I'm the one suffering most Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 Think back to all the reasons you initiated the break up. Most likely they are still valid & haven't magically been fixed while you were apart. You are upset because you are remembering the good times & you are sad that things didn't work out. Think about the bad times that led to the break up. Especially if you made that decision with your head, it was the right thing for you to do. If he wanted to speak to you he would have at least sent a text thanking you for the card. (Not that you asked but imho, it was a mistake to take the time to make a card & to send it) Link to post Share on other sites
Author 818heartbreak Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 He actually just sent me a thank you text and I haven't said anything back. I don't know what to say back...besides you're welcome. I can't... I'm such a pathetic idiot. I may have been the one to break it off after 9 years, but I'm suffering so much. I'm a mess. A complete wreck. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 9 years is a LONG time. You aren't going to get over that quickly certainly not in one month. Again, you probably didn't end such a lengthy relationship lightly. So focus on what drove you to end it. Stop thinking about the happy times & think about everything that was wrong before you walked away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 818heartbreak Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 I tried so hard to make things work. I really did. I didn't want to walk away, but for my own well being I had to. Now I'm just sitting here, thinking I'M the one who messed up. I'm the one who lost a great person in my life. I'm the one who effed up. Link to post Share on other sites
TrevorDia Posted June 9, 2015 Share Posted June 9, 2015 He actually just sent me a thank you text and I haven't said anything back. I don't know what to say back...besides you're welcome. I can't... I'm such a pathetic idiot. I may have been the one to break it off after 9 years, but I'm suffering so much. I'm a mess. A complete wreck. It's so easy to self-criticise in this kind of situation, but just because you ended things doesn't make it your fault that the relationship didn't work out. You're allowed to feel hurt. Not that it's a competition or anything, but I've broken my laptop twice fighting my emotions for my ex. Personally, I think the card was a nice gesture. I think him responding is the end of the interaction. You sent a thoughtful gift and it was appreciated - now you can get back to working on yourself Link to post Share on other sites
Author 818heartbreak Posted June 9, 2015 Author Share Posted June 9, 2015 It's so easy to self-criticise in this kind of situation, but just because you ended things doesn't make it your fault that the relationship didn't work out. You're allowed to feel hurt. Not that it's a competition or anything, but I've broken my laptop twice fighting my emotions for my ex. Personally, I think the card was a nice gesture. I think him responding is the end of the interaction. You sent a thoughtful gift and it was appreciated - now you can get back to working on yourself Thank you. Losing him has been one of the worst things I've ever dealt with. I have issues with self loathing and I deal with severe depression and this is making it so much worse. I love him so much. I wanted to spend my life with him. I gave him all of me. I lost myself. He was my best friend. And now that I don't have someone to talk to even about the smallest inconsequential things, I'm internalizing everything and it's making things THAT much worse for me Link to post Share on other sites
Reels Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Do you think that there are any chances for you in having him back? Link to post Share on other sites
thekarmacist Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 i am right there with you. i just ended a 7 year relationship a month ago because i felt i had no other choice. no contact in either direction. i have to save myself. this is miserable, i know. Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Thank you. Losing him has been one of the worst things I've ever dealt with. I have issues with self loathing and I deal with severe depression and this is making it so much worse. I love him so much. I wanted to spend my life with him. I gave him all of me. I lost myself. He was my best friend. And now that I don't have someone to talk to even about the smallest inconsequential things, I'm internalizing everything and it's making things THAT much worse for me ���� You've gotten some great advice and feedback. I'm sorry you're hurting so bad but with all these nice things you're saying, as mentioned, go back to WHY you broke up with him. People don't change. Yes, they may tweak this or that, but at the core, they are who they are. Understand it will take time for you to move past this and you making contact by sending this card has clearly worsened your healing. It's a good reminder to not engage w/any contact. Out of site, out of mind. One thing to consider as well. While it was a very nice gesture, be mindful that you card probably hurt him a bit as well. Typically the dumped are more hurt/damaged than the dumper and can interrupt any contact from the dumper as a bread crump that only hurts them and prevents them from healing and moving on. I hope you feel better soon. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 818heartbreak Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 Do you think that there are any chances for you in having him back? As in me taking him back? Or the other way around? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 818heartbreak Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 i am right there with you. i just ended a 7 year relationship a month ago because i felt i had no other choice. no contact in either direction. i have to save myself. this is miserable, i know. I am so pissed that I had to end it. I didn't want to. God I didn't want to. And now, I'm the one swimming in an ocean of emotion and I honestly think that he couldn't give two craps about me. Link to post Share on other sites
thekarmacist Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 i'm miserable right along with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 818heartbreak Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 i'm miserable right along with you. I really wanted it to be him <\3 Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Screw this loser...this human hemorrhoid! He's an asswhipe. F him, freakin *******! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 818heartbreak Posted June 10, 2015 Author Share Posted June 10, 2015 Screw this loser...this human hemorrhoid! He's an asswhipe. F him, freakin *******! Hahahaha! This made me laugh. Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
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